Dealing with an Angry Son

Written by Lynette Hoy NCC, LCPC

ihaveangrysonMy son is fifteen years old turning sixteen. He has always been an easy-going, easily adaptable, pleasant child. The last two weeks I noticed, especially on weekends, that he seems a little agitated. When I questioned him, he said that he is feeling frustrated and just feels like breaking something or just putting his fist through something. He said that he is feeling angry, but does not know why. I regularly clean his room, and have not found anything unusual amongst his things that could indicate drugs or cults. It concerns me that he is so agitated. He says he has difficulty in sleeping. Have you got some advice?

Advice: There are many reasons why your son could be angry. Boys and men tend to turn their feelings of hurt, sadness, frustration and fear into anger. I would encourage you to get him to counseling if this continues since he has a serious problem with anger.

You haven’t found any drugs but you should still be concerned about substance abuse. Whenever someone’s attitude and behavior has such a radical change, drugs and alcohol may be the culprit.

I would urge you consider purchasing the book: What’s Good About Anger? When you go to the site, have your son take the inventory. Also, there are some frequently asked questions about anger. Many times when people are angry, they are dealing with depression as well.

So, consider going to counseling and encouraging your son to work through his anger by reading a book and learning new skills to cope with anger. If there have been any recent changes or losses in your son’s life, that may also be the reason for his anger. Changes are frustrating and cause irritability. Loss brings up many emotions that need to be worked through.


2 Responses to “Dealing with an Angry Son”

  • Alfred Alfred says:

    I, Alfred, am a mentor for this web site.
    That boy is hurting badly! The best I can do is to agree with the advice given, and make prayer & counseling a priority. It may be withdrawal from cigarette smoking, or the general lack of a goal that would give his life meaning, hope, and a purpose.
    Dear Heavenly Father, You know the soul, mind, emotions and heart of this growing lad. YOU have a plan for his life! Does he need to see failure before he can contrast that with the joy of success in finding Jesus, and of discovering a purpose for his life? I pray that he will find a passion that he can live for! Give his parents and counselors wisdom, love and patience in dealing with him. In the precious name of Jesus, Amen.

  • ukmark says:

    Hi, sounds like me when I gave up smoking cigarette. Just a thought but could it be that he smokes with his mate during school days and on weekends when around the family he doesn’t and suffers the withdrawals.

    like I say Just a thought he may not be smoking anything!

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