I can’t be happy no matter what I do

cannotbehappyI can’t be happy whatever I do. I try everything, but all the things that were making me happy aren’t making me happy anymore. I get angry too much and sometimes I don’t want to see anybody. Also, when I look at the mirror, I can’t like myself. I’ve been feeling like this for 3 months.

Advice: Usually at the onset of depression there is an identifiable event that either triggered the unhappiness, or caused it. Can you think of what that event was three months ago? If this onslaught was at a certain point in time and you can’t pinpoint it, then you need to make an appointment with your doctor. Something is causing the seratonin level in your brain to drop. Let us know what you come up with.

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70 Responses to “I can’t be happy no matter what I do”

  • Tom Tom says:

    Booklover—
    Thank you for being honest in sharing some of your pain as there are many, many people who struggle with loneliness and a feeling of hopelessness, particularly at this time of the year. It sounds as if this has been a real burden for some time, and I am sorry things seem so dark right now.

    I’m reminded of the Christmas story—how the lonely shepherds were in the fields watching their flocks. These were the outcasts of society, looked down on by those in power and authority. Did you know they were considered so insignificant that they couldn’t even testify as witnesses? They had little of anything to look forward to, and their whole life revolved around taking care of stupid, dirty sheep. But even as God himself was humbling himself and taking on human form in Jesus in that new-born baby in the manger, the angelic choir was announcing to these lowly shepherds the birth of the world’s savior. Suddenly, their testimony meant something as they viewed the baby Jesus and then went out to tell everyone in town the wonders they’d seen!

    Psalm 23 is a beautiful song written by a man who at many times was at the bottom of life’s pit but who knew that no matter where he was or how bad things looked, he had a God who really cared and was walking with him, even through the valley of the shadow of death. Jesus himself felt the loneliness of being human when he prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane, “If possible, take this cup from me. But not my will, but yours be done.” As the suffering servant, Jesus knows your pain. And no matter how few friends you may have, or how lonely you may feel, Jesus says, “I will never leave you or forsake you.”
    Sometimes feelings of depression are due to some physical/chemical problems in the body. Have you visited your doctor to discuss that possibility? However, most of the time depression stems from our focusing on our circumstances rather than the reality of God’s promises that no matter how things look on the outside, or how things feel on the inside, he loves us more than we can ever understand.

    Booklover, I encourage you to look up rather than down. I encourage you to take your deepest sorrows and hurts and pains to the Lord Jesus. If you have never turned from your sins and placed all your trust in him, what better time than now. Hebrews 4:15-16 says, “For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who has suffered in all things even as we have, yet is without sin. Therefore, we can come boldly before the throne of grace to receive mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.”

    “Father, I thank you that your Son is the light of the world and that you are always ready to shed that light into the hearts of anyone who will turn in faith to you. I pray that while Booklover feels there is little hope and there is no light to be found, the light of Jesus Christ will illuminate his/her heart in such a way that all fears, anxieties, sorrows, and feelings of hopelessness and loneliness are washed away in your awesome love. In Jesus’ name, amen.”

  • booklover says:

    For the longest time, I held on..kept the faith and my belief in the almighty. But the darkness seems more powerful. I could have burned myself to give light to the person I care for the most,but that is not enough; I feel it’ll never be enough. I cannot make somebody happy, forget about the sorrows of their past, no matter how hard I try. My happiness depends on this one purpose, but I feel that the light is going out. I feel lonely, I feel lost, I feel powerless.

  • Jamie Jamie says:

    Hi Jack, I know it can be very depressing to know we have sinned. It can feel very hopeless. But God tells us that Jesus took all of our sin and paid the penalty for us. In Isaiah 53:5-6 God said, “He was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed. All of us, like sheep, have strayed away. We have left God’s paths to follow our own. Yet the LORD laid on him the sins of us all.” Jesus is our only hope of being in a right relationship with God. If we trust in His sacrifice for us we are set free from the penalty for our sin. Not only that but Jesus rose from the dead and now leads all who will follow Him away from sin and into a life that is on God’s path. Have you put your trust in Jesus?

  • jack says:

    i made sin i had sex with three girls .i feel i made sin i dont want to live any more ..i am depressed now

  • Alfred Alfred says:

    Dear Lostman, I’m glad I went back to check for a response from you. My suggestion is to apply for a mentor to meet you in a 1-to-1 Email via this web-site.
    Also, I want to encourage you to look daily for something that you can thank God for. It is very important that one keeps a balance in one’s life: Enough rest, excersize, sleep, good food, public time,private/quiet time, leisure time, and (every morning) Spiritual time. I pray that eventually you will be at ease, knowing that God will guide you. Continuing to pray for you, Alfred.

  • Shelley Shelley says:

    Dear Father God.

    Lord I lift up Lostman to You at this time in his life, that You will bless him as he is seeking your grace, in Jesus name amen

  • Lostman says:

    Hi Alfred, I thank you for your support, it really means a lot to know somebody is out there willing to listen to me. But I some of the things you have mentioned such as finding my passion. I have tried a lot of things since the age of 26 I’m now 31 and things just don’t seem to be going my way. I am at the age where I want to start having a family just like you have but I am unable to get the finances to support myself let alone a woman and kids. I know I should have a lot to thank god for because I’m a healthy man etc but I want more for my life and no matter how much hard work I put in things always turn out sour. I was always taught that if your work hard enough for something you will get it, what if no matter how hard you work or try it is still unattainable? I don’t want to give up because it’s not in my nature to but I’m starting to want to give up.

  • Alfred Alfred says:

    Hi Lostman, It is not till we “hit bottom” that we appreciate the God who is waiting to lift us up! Believe me, I’ve been there! I was disliked at work, unhappy with myself, and at meal-time our 3 children were facing my wife (not me) for conversations. I could not take it any longer. In my heart I cried to God to show me what was wrong. He gave me a dream in which I was on way to hell, and I knew why. For the next 5 days, upon coming home from work I knelt by my bed and sobbed bitterly for Jesus to wash me clean. Then I felt refreshed! Soon a friend invited me to a Full Gospel Business Men’s meeting where I received the baptism in the Holy Spirit. What an experience! I have never lost that joy! There were, however, many relationships to mend (some of which may take a life-time) for we need to live with the consequences of our actions. Yet, with God’s help, there is sonshine in my life now.
    So I encourage you to look to Jesus who is waiting to lift you up! We read in Ezekiel 36:26-28 26 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. 27 I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will keep My judgments and do them. 28 Then …. you shall be My people, and I will be your God. NKJV.
    Then ask yourself what you are good at, what you’d enjoy working at, and prepare yourself for a job in that area. Take your time, ask God for direction, and build yourself up for that job which God has in mind for you. Who knows, it is possible that the job you now have may be the one that’ll bring you joy and satisfaction. Also, you may not be ready for a “better” job till you can do your best and enjoy it where you are now. Then, with a new perspective on life, employers will be looking to hire you!
    Dear Lord, I lift up Lostman to You for a blessing that is beyond his wildest dreams. Show him, I pray that You can do for him what he cannot do for himself. YOU have a plan for his life, and I ask that You reveal it to him, one-step-at-a-time. I ask that You help him to thank You in advance for answering his prayer, and give him something to thank You for. In the precious name of Jesus, our intercessor, Amen.

  • Lostman says:

    I don’t know where to start really. I’m 31 year old man and since I can remember I haven’t been happy in my adult life I feel like I have under achieved in life I have a job but it’s a crapy job which I want to change but every time I apply for a good job I always fail to get them and each time I fail I feel hopeless. I have a beautiful girlfriend who is supportive but she is also very ambitious and has told me I can’t be with her if I can’t get myself in a good job so we can build together. I really want to do it but feel like I’m useless and can’t acheive anything. Is there something wrong with me?? I feel like I should just die and free every1 of the burden that is me!

  • Shelley Shelley says:

    Dear Father God.

    Lord I lift up my sister to you at this time in her life, that You will let her feel Your love to her and give her a sense of knowing that You love her and that You will heal her heart, in Jesus Name Amen

  • Farley says:

    Im in emotional Limbo, my entire world has been picked up and thrown.
    Im a new mum and have been with my partner for a very long time, we have had plenty of ups and downs as do we all along the way but we have always stuck by each other. Well 6 weeks ago I found that for 3 years of our relationship he has been paying for sex with prostitutes even during my pregnancy (which was complicated and I never needed him more).
    I still very much love this man he is the father of my child and until this was exposed he was my everything, I gave him complete love and trust.
    Now Im left feeling completely shattered and quite frankly I’ve given up on my life. I’m here only for my child and had he not been born the decision to end the road would have been an easy one for me. My life was far from the worst but it has had more than its fair share of hard times and I’m to the point where I feel like the one thing I got right wasn’t even what I thought, I’ve lost my fear, nothing makes me feel alive anymore. I dont know about the rest of you but I find the night and first thing in the morning really hard times for me. I dont know if its because Im alone with my thoughts maybe Ive hit the point I cant stand myself anymore or what but I feel completely hollowed out. My weight has plummeted Ive gone from 138lbs to 117lbs in 6 weeks, I dont know why but chewing repulses me, I cant be bothered with the grief that comes from not eating so I make sure the only meals I eat have a audience but even then its a vile process for me. Im just so freaking lost, I dont know if any of you can relate in any way, but Ive just lost complete faith in my judgments and in other people.

  • Jamie Jamie says:

    Hi Aallyah, I am so glad you are able to share your hurt with us. Keeping things like this to yourself is so dangerous, but having the courage to ask for help like this is a great step towards seeing things turn around. First, I recognize you may need to talk to someone right away. Call one of these numbers and talk with someone who can help you look at your situation in a different way and find other options to ending your lives, OK?
    Dial 911 in Canada and USA
    1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) USA & Canada
    1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) USA-National
    Hearing impaired call 1-800-799-4TTY (1-800-799-4889) USA
    Centerstone(Suicide Crisis Call Center) 1-800-273-TALK (8255) USA

    So what are the things that you are sad about?

  • Aaliyah says:

    i hate my life, nothing goes right,i can’t even say the last i was happen. i feel like a burden, i’m a waste of space in everybody life and i don’t deserve to be here. what good is it to me if i’m not happy? Theres no point of me being a live!! i hate my life. i’m never happy anymore. i been gone for several years now. And never have anyone noticed, so yeah whats the point of being a live if no one sees that i’m hurting? Exactly there is no point. i shouldn’t be here. i don’t want to be here. life sucks. now days when people be like you can die by this and that, i say ” Well we all die sometimes right?, then i smile .why can’t i have a good life w.out being depressed every damn day. and then if i do leave. people won’t even know i’m gone or miss me, because everybody done upped and leaved my life. so hey maybe it is time for me to leave……. -Aaliyah

  • Alfred Alfred says:

    Hi cracked up pepper, life is quite a journey, isn’t it. Without difficulties we would not appreciate the great rewards that come our way. Many times I have sought happiness, but eventually found that it is a by-product of making others happy! I could not do this, for I was having trouble at home, at work, and everywhere, and (like you) NOT finding happiness. Then I realized that I’d let go of God. HE could not bless me or make me a blessing because I was not in a position to obey, or even listen to him! When I realized how far I’d fallen, I was my knees daily, from getting home from work till supper time, praying that Jesus wash me clean. HE did exactly that and restored me as His child! What a difference that made!
    How is your relationship with Jesus? Do you know him as a Saviour and Friend?
    Here is a resource that I pray will help you:

    Who I Am in Christ
    If you are a Christian, then the statements below are true of you. If you are not a follower of Christ and would like to know more, click here…
    I am accepted…
    John 1:12 I am God’s child.
    John 15:15 As a disciple, I am a friend of Jesus Christ.
    Romans 5:1 I have been justified.
    1 Corinthians 6:17 I am united with the Lord, and I am one with Him in spirit.
    1 Corinthians 6:19-20 I have been bought with a price and I belong to God.
    1 Corinthians 12:27 I am a member of Christ’s body.
    Ephesians 1:3-8 I have been chosen by God and adopted as His child.
    Colossians 1:13-14 I have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins.
    Colossians 2:9-10 I am complete in Christ.
    Hebrews 4:14-16 I have direct access to the throne of grace through Jesus Christ.
    I am secure…
    Romans 8:1-2 I am free from condemnation.
    Romans 8:28 I am assured that God works for my good in all circumstances.
    Romans 8:31-39 I am free from any condemnation brought against me and I cannot be separated from the love of God.
    2 Corinthians 1:21-22 I have been established, anointed and sealed by God.
    Colossians 3:1-4 I am hidden with Christ in God.
    Philippians 1:6 I am confident that God will complete the good work He started in me.
    Philippians 3:20 I am a citizen of heaven.
    2 Timothy 1:7 I have not been given a spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind.
    1 John 5:18 I am born of God and the evil one cannot touch me.
    I am significant…
    John 15:5 I am a branch of Jesus Christ, the true vine, and a channel of His life.
    John 15:16 I have been chosen and appointed to bear fruit.
    1 Corinthians 3:16 I am God’s temple.
    2 Corinthians 5:17-21 I am a minister of reconciliation for God.
    Ephesians 2:6 I am seated with Jesus Christ in the heavenly realm.
    Ephesians 2:10 I am God’s workmanship.
    Ephesians 3:12 I may approach God with freedom and confidence.
    Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.
    That still leaves me with one of your questions unanswered: You say “good things happen when I’m depressed. Why? “ Might it be that God is working for you when you are unable to do some-thing for yourself?
    Well, for now I will leave you with discovering who you are or who you are (or can be) in Christ.

  • Shelley Shelley says:

    Dear Father God.

    Lord You have taught me to live each day that You give to me, by living one second at a time, within that hour and that day. To look to You within that day and seek Your grace no matter the outcome of that day.

  • cracked up pepper says:

    I usually live in the moment. Such as feelings of living in the moment. Every time something good happens or when I get happy and tell people I’m having a good day, I hear things like change of plans at the last min, or didn’t get the job, or its going to have to wait now. I can’t afford medication, and there is just so much of stress I can’t take. I try to ignore it and hold it in and wake up everyday going to work. Force myself to pretend to smile and acting like a miserable person. Problem is, good things happen when I’m depressed. Why?

  • Kate Kate says:

    Dear Reena,

    I am so sorry to hear about your unhappiness. It does sound like you are going through a difficult period in life. Your longings for love, acceptance, friendship and intimacy are completely normal and valid. Do you think you could connect with people in a local church or join another kind of support group? It would be great to realize you are not alone in your struggles, and also I am so SURE that with your helping nature, you would be a great asset to the group. Maybe there is somewhere you can volunteer?

    Working on your temper and feelings of hate is important. How about reviewing this website about anger? http://powertochange.com/discover/life/enemy/

    Also, you can definitely connect with one of our mentors who will support you. Go to this link to fill in the form: http://powertochange.com/discover/talk-to-a-mentor/

    Let me pray for you now: Father God, thank You for caring for Reena. I hope that she will learn to lean on You as she deals with many difficulties, and that You will lead her to a group of supportive people where she can feel accepted. I pray she will grow everyday, grow more patient, more understanding, and also that she will grow in faith to trust You. In Jesus’ name, amen.

    Reena, all the best to you. You can post your feelings here anytime. This is a place for sharing.

    Sincerely,
    Kate

  • Reena says:

    I m so unhappy due to the people around me. thy dnt like my helping nature and talking and making friends. they offen find fault in me. i dont want to hate others or hurt others everyone use well to get their works and through me like a waste paper. and more over i have no boy friend to share and safe guard me from any issues. i m so short temper and feels no one likes me . everyone and everything around me disturb me a lot.. i feel restless. no one to share my feeling. I m looking for a person who can see me like baby, love me lik mom, teach me like dad fight like sibblings. but i never get such a person. i cannot even smile .

  • Claire Colvin Claire Colvin says:

    Hi unhappysadperson, I’m so sorry to hear of the death of your friend. What an awful road to walk. As I read through the symptoms you listed I wondered if you might be suffering from depression? Take a look at this list, does it sound familiar? http://www.depressionhurts.ca/en/depression/ If you think that you might be depressed it’s a good idea to see your family doctor. Depression is a medical condition, it’s not something you just have to “get over”. There are therapies and medications that can help. If you’d like to talk to a mentor you can use this form and you’ll hear back, usually within a couple of days. Mentoring is a free and private service.

    Death is a pretty scary thing to have to face. I know in my own life that my faith in God really helps me deal with death. Do you have a faith perspective?

  • unhappysadperson says:

    i feel so unhappy sice the unexpected death of my ex boyfried/friend , nothing seems to make me happy anymore , not my family , not my friends … not even the things i used to enjoy more than anything !! i started to get worried because i tend to cry t a lot every night before i sleep , i always feel sad and i’m loosing weight like a

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