Comments on: I can’t be happy no matter what I do http://powertochange.com Sat, 11 Feb 2012 13:24:27 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: <span class='mentorBadge' title='Claire Colvin is an official Power to Change mentor.' >Claire Colvin</span> http://powertochange.com/life/cantbehappy/comment-page-1/#comment-81877 Claire Colvin Wed, 20 Oct 2010 17:21:50 +0000 http://thelife.com/?page_id=5704#comment-81877 Don - Being laid off is brutal and looking for a new job IS hard work whether the people in your life recognize that or not. If you are actively looking for work every day then you're doing everything you can and no one can ask more of you. I think it's similar to when a person is trying to lose weight or quit smoking or paying down debt - any process that takes a while - it's not just the end goal that counts as success. Rather, every day that you don't give up, every day that you keep working at it is a success. It can be hard for people who have not gone through it to understand how difficult it can be to get through one more day. Are you able to talk to your wife about this? It could be that if you explain to her all the things you are doing she might better understand that this isn't easy. She might have some other ideas for you to try or she might simply see that you really are exploring every option. It sounds like there's a lot of backstory behind your statement that "my wife don’t allow me to do anything but chores" - everyone deserves a break. Yes you are at home now which means that you have more time to help out with chores than you did when you were working, however everyone deserves a break form time to time. Stay at home Moms get a babysitter and an evening off every now and then. I know money is tight but there are ways to get out of the house and enjoy yourself without ruining the budget. Maybe you and your wife could go for a long walk and get an ice cream together, or grab a coffee and talk? I'm sure it's stressful for her too, for both of you. Anything you can do to pull closer together when you're both feeling the pressure will be to your benefit. You can't just "snap out of it". If that was that simple who would choose to stay depressed? Do you have medical insurance? Would you be able to see your doctor? If you'd like to talk to one of our mentors privately (a free service) you can <a href="http://powertochange.com/discover/talk-to-a-mentor/" rel="nofollow">use this form to request a mentor</a> and you'll hear back from one, usually in a couple of days. Your current situation is not forever, but I know it probably feels like forever. I hope we can help. Don – Being laid off is brutal and looking for a new job IS hard work whether the people in your life recognize that or not. If you are actively looking for work every day then you’re doing everything you can and no one can ask more of you. I think it’s similar to when a person is trying to lose weight or quit smoking or paying down debt – any process that takes a while – it’s not just the end goal that counts as success. Rather, every day that you don’t give up, every day that you keep working at it is a success. It can be hard for people who have not gone through it to understand how difficult it can be to get through one more day. Are you able to talk to your wife about this? It could be that if you explain to her all the things you are doing she might better understand that this isn’t easy. She might have some other ideas for you to try or she might simply see that you really are exploring every option.

It sounds like there’s a lot of backstory behind your statement that “my wife don’t allow me to do anything but chores” – everyone deserves a break. Yes you are at home now which means that you have more time to help out with chores than you did when you were working, however everyone deserves a break form time to time. Stay at home Moms get a babysitter and an evening off every now and then. I know money is tight but there are ways to get out of the house and enjoy yourself without ruining the budget. Maybe you and your wife could go for a long walk and get an ice cream together, or grab a coffee and talk? I’m sure it’s stressful for her too, for both of you. Anything you can do to pull closer together when you’re both feeling the pressure will be to your benefit.

You can’t just “snap out of it”. If that was that simple who would choose to stay depressed? Do you have medical insurance? Would you be able to see your doctor? If you’d like to talk to one of our mentors privately (a free service) you can use this form to request a mentor and you’ll hear back from one, usually in a couple of days.

Your current situation is not forever, but I know it probably feels like forever. I hope we can help.

]]> By: Don H. http://powertochange.com/life/cantbehappy/comment-page-1/#comment-81871 Don H. Wed, 20 Oct 2010 16:26:21 +0000 http://thelife.com/?page_id=5704#comment-81871 I feel this way daily almost everyday. Mine was triggered after being laid off and unable to find work. A month after being laid off, my father had a stroke and passed a week later. This has taken a huge toll on my mental health. My spouse is supportive at times, but also expects me to snap out of it. I lost interest in all social activities (Partly because being unemployed, my wife don't allow me to do anything but chores). I find myself feeling useless and sitting with the thousand yard stare at the wall. Feeling sorry for yourself sucks, but being positive and deflated by failure is a hard too! Being positive with baby step goals help and make you feel a since of accomplishment! Just keep things simple in your daily tasks. Setting goals no matter how small will help. I feel this way daily almost everyday. Mine was triggered after being laid off and unable to find work. A month after being laid off, my father had a stroke and passed a week later. This has taken a huge toll on my mental health. My spouse is supportive at times, but also expects me to snap out of it. I lost interest in all social activities (Partly because being unemployed, my wife don’t allow me to do anything but chores). I find myself feeling useless and sitting with the thousand yard stare at the wall. Feeling sorry for yourself sucks, but being positive and deflated by failure is a hard too! Being positive with baby step goals help and make you feel a since of accomplishment! Just keep things simple in your daily tasks. Setting goals no matter how small will help.

]]> By: PA13 http://powertochange.com/life/cantbehappy/comment-page-1/#comment-74168 PA13 Tue, 13 Jul 2010 05:10:32 +0000 http://thelife.com/?page_id=5704#comment-74168 I have the same issue. Nothing seems to work and my family won't understand I have the same issue. Nothing seems to work and my family won’t understand

]]> By: Muhammad El-Saeed http://powertochange.com/life/cantbehappy/comment-page-1/#comment-72718 Muhammad El-Saeed Fri, 25 Jun 2010 12:42:38 +0000 http://thelife.com/?page_id=5704#comment-72718 just try to cry, you may release this bad feelings just try to cry, you may release this bad feelings

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