I met a guy on a chat room
I met this guy on a chat room on Valentine’s day this year. He is six years older than me (I am 15 years old). We got to know each other really well and we progressed to talking on the phone. We have now fallen in love with each other. We are meeting next Valentine’s Day, we have it all arranged to perfection. I can hardly wait. A friend of mine thinks it’s a mistake to meet him. What do you think?
Advice: There are several things that bother me about what you have said.
- First, to really be in love you have to spend time with the person and know a whole lot about him (like how he reacts when he gets a flat tire on the freeway, when he gets fired from a job, when you wreck his new car. It takes time together to know those things.
- Second, your guy says that he is 21. There is not way from knowing that for sure , unless you know someone who knows him or his family. I don’t want to burst your bubble, but I’m working with a client who is 15 and first met a guy on the internet . They arranged a meeting in person where he proceeded to rape her. It turned out he was older than what he said, he is now in jail.
- Third, right now I think you may be in love with the idea of being in love. Be careful and don’t do this secretly. Let your parents know what is going on. I want you to be safe and protected.
Dr. Ginger
You CAN fall in love with someone you have never met and it CAN work.
But it takes a fair amount of luck, honesty on both ends and time, a lot of it.
I have met my husband in a chat room in when I was 21 and we were strictly online friends, communicating solely via emails for some seven years, about once a week, maybe twice. We shared a lot of our lives, except for the fact that he was engaged and I had just gotten married then. He ended up getting married a few years later and thene we both got divorced about the same time, which is when we finally told each other all the things we were hiding and we switched to talking on the phone, daily, for nearly a year before we met in person.
We were really good friends way before we decided to take a shot at “us”. But we exclusively “dated” and were honest,y in love, as much as it was freaking out both of us that it couldn’t possibly be love since we’d never met.
We met a year ago in person. I have since moved 800mi for us to be together and close to his family (as mine is on another continent anyways), we have gotten married, bought a home and are now expecting a baby.
I know I got lucky to have met this man and for it to have played out the way it has. But it IS possible.
Listen to the #2 though. People lie. About anything they don’t like about themselves. And about anything that doesn’t fit the perfect image of the other person — if they have a secret agenda. It will take a bit to find out who they really are. So far, all you can be sure of is that the person is real and it must sound like it is of the oposite gender……
Good luck and stay safe.