Are you an Emotional Eater?
How do you deal with feelings of anger, frustration, fear, stress, loneliness, conflict, depression or disappointment? Do you find comfort in food? Are you constantly on a diet but, never losing weight? When you feel frustrated or disappointed with events or people – is the answer to eat something salty or sweet?
If you answered the last three questions with a ‘yes’, maybe you be categorized as an “emotional eater”.
What is emotional eating?
It is the practice of consuming large quantities of food – usually “comfort” or junk foods – in response to feelings instead of hunger.
Experts estimate that 75% of overeating is caused by feelings which means that most of us are guilty of using food to cope with emotions.
Lisa was always dieting and always fixated on food. As an overweight child she regularly turned to junk food to relieve feelings she couldn’t deal with. But, overeating caused her more feelings of guilt, disgust and failure.
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What are the consequences of emotional eating?
Basically, the comfort one finds from eating is temporary. Comfort eating does not resolve life’s issues or feelings. This type of eating leads to long-term consequences such as obesity, emotional instability, guilt and shame.
What are some practical steps for changing eating for comfort patterns?
Start by logging when you eat and are not actually hungry. Do this for one week. Ask yourself – what triggered my need to eat? What was the thought, stress, conflict, disappointment, fear, anger driving me to food? Write out in detail what occurred prior to eating for comfort versus eating for hunger. It may have been awhile since you actually ate because you felt hungry. Eating, though an enjoyable activity, should be based on hunger.
Identify any healthy coping skills you use in response to the triggers. Maybe you don’t use food for comfort all the time. How could you begin to use the healthy coping skills you practice more often?
Explore and deal with feelings: The next step is to implement interventions and a strategy for dealing with the anger, resentment, depression, low self-esteem, fear and stress underlying the eating for comfort syndrome.
Your feelings are indicators that something is wrong in your life. Deal with your feelings directly by asking yourself “what is the issue I am facing and is it valid?” Once you identify the issues in your life underlying eating for comfort – you can begin to work on healthy coping skills.
Here’s an example: Your spouse calls you up and says he will be coming home late from work. You act understanding but, after you hang up the phone you begin to feel angry because you had planned a special dinner for the family. Instead of reaching for the bag of chips or a candy bar – stop yourself. Write out how you are feeling and a request you might make of your husband to help avoid this predicament in the future such as: “Can you please let me know a couple of days ahead of time when you have to work late?”. Plan an activity and a healthy snack such as carrots and celery or a piece of fruit for your family in order to deal with the delay in serving dinner.
How do you generally cope with your emotions?
Do you have someone to talk to about your feelings? Do you pray? Do you confront people assertively who have disappointed or hurt you? Do you write out your feelings in a journal? Are you an option-thinker? Read about assertiveness. Do you work off pent-up feelings through exercise?
Are you an option thinker? Can you analyze problems and come up with various solutions and resources? You need to learn how to tackle problems and stress with new skills that help you adapt to people and changes in life.
Healthy coping skills will help you face problems head-on versus suppress them by turning to food.
Get support
You may need to see a doctor for a physical exam to assess whether there is a hormonal or physiological basis for obesity and/or the compulsive eating patterns. You may consider consulting a nutritionist to set up a weight loss program for you.
Research diet programs carefully which include all four food groups, do not require drastic lifestyle changes, are recommended by your physician and have a good track record of maintaining weight loss (ex: Weight Watchers).
Find an appropriate support group for your particular eating disorder.
Contact the following organizations for help and resources:
- Overcomers Outreach, Inc
- In His Image (a web support group with resources)
- Overeaters Anonymous
Consider seeking God to help you manage your life and gain control over food. Overeating feeds a craving just like any other addiction. People long to fill the spiritual void inside with something. This world is difficult and uncertain. We long for peace and security. People need supernatural help for living. Why not go directly to the Creator of the universe for the power to change? Read about faith and spiritual change. God is the answer and can bring us freedom from any addiction or unhealthy behavior pattern. Address other issues:underlying depression, abuse, traumatic events or losses which have been left unresolved or haven’t been grieved. A Christian counselor can help explore the causes and triggers of your eating disorder and identify healthy coping skills to help change your thoughts and behaviors.
Finally, build your self-esteem. A good dose of self-confidence will enable you to express your feelings, opinions, preferences in healthy ways rather than stuffing feelings and finding comfort in food. Read a book such as The Search for Significance: Seeing Your True Worth Through God’s Eyes (workbook included) by Robert McGee.
The following book is helpful for tracking eating patterns to gain a deeper understanding of what emotional need food is trying to replace.: Thin Within by Judy Wardell, R.N. Halliday, Arthur W., M.D. Halliday, Heidi Bylsma, Sally Rackets
thank you for posting this article interesting i wouldn’t of thought of this because i guess i do i am having some physical issues so now its difficult for me but a good article
My mom set up an appointment for Friday the 25th. I`m so thankful that my mom could sqeeze in an appointment with my seemingly busy schedule. I also want to hang out with some hard of hearing friends I met at church in Austin. My dad told my mom that he wants me to watch my sisters while he`s at work. We`ll just see about that. About the bible verse idea, it sounds like an interesting way to make myself feel better. My diary looks like a bible and it has a bible verse on each page that I can look at.
Dear Madison,
I am so sorry to hear that there is something wrong with your thyroid! That is not fun news to get over text. May I pray for you and your health? (You can even pray with me by reading these words if you want to!)”Jesus, we just pray that you would heal Madison from the inside out. Jesus, thank-you that you care so much about Madison that you even wanted to talk to her by giving her a dream! Jesus, you are our healer and you only give good gifts to your children. We just pray that Madison’s health would increase and that her thyroid would be completely restored. All this we pray in the powerful name of Jesus, Amen.”
About going to Austin, that does sound like a time crunch in trying to spend time with your Dad as well as get that appointment booked. Is your Mom booking it for you? I hope that you can fit into your schedule and that you have a really nice visit with you Dad. It sounds like you miss him.
Can I pray something else with you? Lord I pray that Madison would know to the deepest of her being that she is totally, completely, 100%, loved and accepted by you. Lord, you are so proud of her! Lord thank-you that you have so many roles to play in Madison’s life: You are her friend, her healer, her Shepard but most of all you are her Father. Lord, I pray that Madison would know the length, height, width and depth of your love for her as a Father. Lord, would you fill her up completely with your good and safe love so that she is satisfied. I pray that your living water would overflow in her life and would you heal every part of her– her mind, spirit, body and soul. Father, thank you that you sent to the Holy Spirit so that we may be comforted by your love. Father in the places that Madison is sad we pray that your comforting love would come and give her rest and peace. All this we pray in your name Jesus! Amen :)
Madison, when I have been really upset in the past or lost heart I started to put my favourite Bible verses on little cards. Then, I would read them when I was sad, or angry or when I felt lonely. Does that interest you at all? If it does here is a really awesome verse…Have you heard of the verse in Ephesians 3:14-21?
14 For this reason I kneel before the Father, 15 from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. 16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge–that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. 20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
Madison,
I wrote in reply to your situation a while back. I was an anorexic sufferer. When are you going to go do something about your situation instead of just talking about it? Anorexia is DEADLY!!!! It does major organ damage and causes fainting spells. If you truly have anorexia and are concerned you will go to your doctor to have the necessary blood tests done to check where your blood levels are at. You will go to an specialist that deals in anorexia or a clinic. Anorexia is not something to just sit and tell your whoas about. It needs immediate action. When my mother took me to the psychiatrist, he gave me a verbal butt kicking. So what I’m telling you is nothing in comparison to what he said to me.
I find it amazing that mentors are not actually advising you to get help.
Thank you so much Bridgette! I really think God gave me that dream so I can realize that I have less time then I think to get ready for school in terms of being more healthy. I tend to save a lot of things for school. I`m even procrasinating on eating healthier because school has`nt started yet and I have been using that as an excuse to eat things that are`nt good for me. I have`nt heard that dreams from God are commmon. I have`nt even thought about it really. I really think God sent me that dream to tell me to be healthier because He cares about me. It seems like common sense. I think maybe this is trying to prepare me for something I need to do like a hard class or walking home from the school bus stop. My mom texted me today and told me my doctor found a problem with my thyroid a second time. I have low TSH levels. I need to go to an endocrinologist. I`m not trying to be optimistic just in case. I have another problem, though. I`m going to Austin on Friday to see my dad because I have`nt gotton to spend any time with him in at least a month or a month and a half. I will spend a week there and hopefully come back on Friday so I can go to meet the teacher night at my school, and then I need to get my eyebrows waxed. I don`t know how I can fit those things into my schedule along with the appointment to see the endocrinologist. I guess I`ll answer your questions now. I`m not very interested in looking at those things right now cause I`ve been depressed and have`nt been interested in much of anything right now, but I looked at a page on that site and it interested me enough to go back to it later. I appreciate it. I could probably talk to my youth pastor about the anorexic thoughts, but I won`t be able to see him until I come back from Austin. I`m not real connected to my youth group. My mom won`t let me do the fun stuff with my youth group anymore unless I sit in church and go through some kind of boredom, so I don`t really see them anymore. I used to be and I`m planning on it this school year. Yes I do have a bad habit of saving my appetite for dinner or if I`m going out to eat. I hate to use the word starving myself, but that`s what I tend to do. It`s not like I save my appetite all day, just if I get hungry I`ll make sure I don`t eat 2 or 3 hrs before a big meal except maybe a little snack if I can`t take it anymore.
Dear Madison,
Wow Madison it’s so cool that you had this dream! Do you think that maybe it could of been God giving you this dream? It sounds like you have a pretty good grasp on what the dream means. I would agree with you that it’s probably a sign to take better care of your body so that you can have strength to go through life. Have you heard that dreams from God are actually not that uncommon? In my experience, sometimes God gives me dreams so that I know in advance the right decision to make or it can be a warning dream so that I will be protected from danger. That said, God really cares about YOU and your health. Can I propose possibly a bit more interpretation to your dream? Ultimately, you can decide if you feel it is right or not but I just thought I would tell you what I thought of the first part of the dream i.e ” I was with the youth group at my church and I guess we were on a road trip.” Could it be that you are about to embark on a journey in real life or a change in your life soon (starting a demanding sports routine, hard classes for school or something else) that requires extra energy for you? The reason why I ask you this is because, maybe God is preparing you for something that is about to occur in your life (whether you are aware or not) and for you to fully enjoy this journey he is taking you on (with others) you need to be strong and healthy! Usually when we prepare for a journey we want to make sure we are “ready” to go. The main premise of your dream seems to be that “you felt weak” (passing out, falling off a cliff)-I read in your earlier posts that you have been able to talk with your Aunt about your struggles with anorexia a little bit. That is so good! Is there anyone else that you can also talk to or confide in right now? It sounds like you are just needing a lot of encouragement and strength. I don’t know how connected you are with your youth group- but do you have a youth pastor that you can talk to? I know there is loads of information about eating right from all different kinds of sources on the internet. I don’t want to overwhelm you but there is a really great book called “Intuitive Eating” written by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch. Here is the link to their webpage: http://www.intuitiveeating.org/. If you check out the tab 10 principles I think you will be really encouraged by a set of tools you can grasp on to. It may even help with the dilemma you just wrote about (regretting eating the popcorn bag and then not being hungry for dinner). Intuitive eating encourages you to listen to your body (just like your dream!) so that you can skip the part of feeling guilty or bad if you have over-ate or under-ate. I hope you have a good day Madison and if you have any questions or comments just keep writing them :)
Last night I had a dream I was with the youth group at my church and I guess we were on a road trip. I kept passing out one day. We were at the beach at one point and there was a sandy cliff, then the water. It had to have been 8 feet tall. It was just a cliff made of sand. I fell over the cliff and could`t get out. I was`nt strong at all. I felt really weak and all I could do was hold my head above the water. I think my body is telling me to take care of myself better, and to eat better. I think it was a total exaggeration of what could happen if I don`t eat better, but it really opened my eyes to what could happen if I don`t. I`m still a teenager, so I tend to eat like one, but I`m trying to make better food choices. I regret eating a 420 calory bag of popcorn today. It looked just like regular microwave popcorn. My mom is making dinner and I`m not hungry at all. I`m not sure what to do.
Madison, You probably already know this, but as a vegetarian it is extra important that you make sure you’re getting enough protein. There are a thousand ways to do it, you just need to make sure that you’re intentional about including it in your food. Also make sure that you’re getting enough iron – spinach, quinoa, dried peaches, white beans, pumpkin seeds, lentils etc. That’s especially important for girls. And that’s the end of my “foods you need to eat” lecture :)
Remember that nutrition is more about eating the right foods than it is about hitting a certain number of calories in a given day. Coffee in the morning isn’t going to fill you up for long because there’s nothing in it for your stomach to digest. To stay satisfied longer you want foods that take longer for your body to process – things like complex carbohydrates found in whole grains – and the protein we talked about before. With a little research you should be able to find a filling breakfast that isn’t too high on calories (just watch out for the sugar that often creeps into breakfast foods). I think you’ll find that with a good breakfast it will be calories well spent because you won’t go into the day focussed on food. You’ll be full and can think about other things.
I eat breakfast in the morning, but it`s not much. I drink coffee which fills me up, and I eat something small. I see your point. You got me there. it just seems like a lot of calories to eat in the morning before I even get to lunch. I definitly try to eat if i`m hungry. I babysit and I`m welcome to anything they have, but there is`nt much food in the house usually. Their dad went to the store today and got a lot of groceries so I`m not worried now. I work for 12 hrs a day. It won`t last long. I know I need to get more things with protein when I go to the store. I don`t usually get to get the things myself and I forget to ask my mom to get a lot of things with protein. I tend to forget I need a good breakfast and a lot of times I don`t eat breakfast things. I have a meal planner for when school starts that has a lot of protein in each meal and it includes a snack. I`ll make something work.
Madison, It’s great to hear that you were able to talk with your Aunt. Even if you felt like you didn’t say all the things you wanted to, you’ve opened up a conversation with her and I think that that is very healthy. You mentioned being really hungry in the morning and how that was a problem. That surprised me because you’re supposed to be hungry in the morning. You haven’t eaten for hours and your body is designed to want food in the morning. What makes you think that is a bad thing?
There has been so much research done on the importance of breakfast – especially for people who are conscious of eating well and who don’t want to overeat. Eating breakfast is an excellent way to set yourself for food success all day. It’s important to honour your hunger. Eating when you are a hungry is one of the ways you take care of your body and you may find that if you eat when hungry you spend less time thinking about food because your body is content.
Some of the research that has been done in the past couple of years has focussed on the importance of protein in the morning. Many people yeah for carbs first thing – whether that’s cereal, bread, oatmeal, fruit etc. But protein has been shown to satisfy hunger longer, especially first thing in the morning. You could try yoghurt, eggs, cheese, nuts, or tofu (which is especially good in shakes). If you ignore your hunger it’s a bit like ignoring a small child – they just yell louder. Your body is trying to get your attention with hunger and when that doesn’t work, the hunger gets worse. Try eating breakfast for a few days and see if you like the way you feel. There are lots of great, healthy vegetarian breakfast recipes online.
Today me and my mom were invited to have dinner with my aunt Karen`s mother in law and some other family. I decided it would be the perfect time to talk to my aunt Karen. We went for a walk and we talked a lot. I don`t feel like we talked enough about the anorexic thoughts, but I did`nt have anything to say when we were done. We talked about how loneliness could have started the anorexic thoughts. I used to write meal plans, and write the calories for everything I was planning on eating, and add them to the calories I already had. It kept me busy and not thinking of lonelyiness. I think that contributed to any anorexic thoughts I was already having and it fueled the fire. I`m planning on being more social next year. We also talked about some other things. She said that vegetarians can be more likely to get anorexia because it can be harder to get protein. She said lack of protein can trigger anorexia. I`m a vegetarian. I`m not writing the calories for dinner or the chips I had with lunch because I`m too tired to do it right now and I don`t remember what all I ate. Other than that I have had around 1145. One problem I have is being really hungry in the morning and I might eat around 700 before it`s 11:00. Then I feel like I have to limit myself with the calories I eat. I know there was something I forgot to tell her. She gave me a speech about eating right even though most people my age eat a bunch of things they should`nt and I`m a health nut compared to them.
I think that is a good idea Madison. It is so important to have people you know and trust be aware of your anorexic thoughts. You aunt Karen can help you get an objective view of where you are at and what makes you valuable. I will be praying for you and for her that God will give you both wisdom to know how to deal with this and find health in mind and body.
Lord God, I ask that You would help Madison see herself as You see her. Break down those negative thoughts that cause her to starve herself. I thank You that she was able to gain some weight and not get anxious about how many calories she is eating. I pray that You would help Madison and her aunt to build a commitment to each other to see this through. I pray that You would help Karen to speak words of encouragement and sound advice for Madison. In Jesus’ name amen.
I actually have told my mom that i`ve had the calory problem before, and she told me that if I had that problem again and told her about it, she would threaten to put me in the hospital. I really do know what she would do. I don`t want to tell anyone because of their possible reactions, but I have one person I can tell other than my doctor, but I can`t talk to my doctor because I would have to go with my mom and I can`t just tell her I need to talk to my doctor alone. I could tell my aunt Karen. Nothing can shock her and she`s christian and very understanding. I just texted her and I will let you all in on what happens. I have tried counselors, but that was for other things. I had anorexic thoughts during the last time I had counseling (I think), but nothing that concerned me or made me want to get help. If I was having those feelings, I overlooked them. I think what triggers my anorexic thoughts is seeing girls that look way too skinny and celebrities on the news. That`s really all I have to say for now. I feel like my aunt Karen is my last hope in telling anyone.
Madison, Have you thought about telling your Mom now, while things are good? It could really help to have another person watching out for you. If you look at any program aimed at helping people change their behaviours and habits – whether it’s people trying to eat better a Weight Watchers meetings or alcoholics trying to save their lives at AA — a very important step is to get other people involved. That support makes a huge difference. Right now you’re doing better and support can help you keep doing better. If you find yourself slipping back into that behaviour, support can help you before you slip too far. I know for myself that when I’m back in a behaviour it’s much harder to talk about than it is when things are going really well.
You said that you already know what your Mom will say, but I’d challenge you on that. When I was in high school I was suicidal and I never told my parents because I was sure I knew what they would say. I didn’t think that they could help and I was sure that it would just make things worse. YEARS later, in my 20s I finally got up the courage to tell my Mom what had been going on and her response totally surprised me. She listed off six or seven things she would have done to help, none of them the things I was afraid she would do, several of them things I had not even considered. I never got that help because I didn’t tell her. I never gave her the opportunity. I just assumed that I knew what she would say, and I was wrong.
I cannot predict what your Mom would say, but neither can you. If you have a good relationship with her, think about letting her in. If you’re not sure if you can trust her, consider telling an adult that you do trust. There are often way more options than what we can see on our own. For many people eating disorders are a long road, they’re rarely something that just goes away. Help is good, and the hospital is not the only option. Eating disorders are almost always about something other than your body. A counsellor might be a good option to take a look at the underlying issues. If you can figure out why you sometimes act a certain way that can be a powerful tool as you work toward being healthier long term.
Hi Jamie. I know the feelings might come back if I don`t tell anyone, so i`ll try my best to tell my mom if I get those feelings again. I already know what my mom will say. She will threaten to put me in the hospital. While I was on vacation and a day after that, I did`nt count any calories and I gained 5 ibs in a week. I was actually glad I did. I know I should gain weight. I`m not too underweight though.
Hi Madison, I am glad you are feeling in better control of your thoughts around eating. I think it is good that you are able to share your thoughts here and ask for help. But I am concerned that you haven’t talked to your doctor or your mom about this. Hiding this kind of a thing opens you up to the danger of it coming back. Having people around who know you and love you and can help you when things are hard is so important. I don’t know what your relationship with you mom is but talking with her about your struggle would be a good thing. Having your doctor aware can also help him care for your health properly. It will help him to look for the health complications that come from anorexia and recommend resources that can help you.
Do you think you can do that?
I forgot to tell you I never told my doctor about it. I did`nt get a chance to talk to him alone. If I had asked to talk to him alone my mom would ask me what I talked to him about.
I don`t feel like I have anorexia anymore. I just got back from a week long vacation and I did`nt count a single calory. I will comment if I have anorexia feelings again. Thanks for everything.
Hi Madison,
Glad to hear you were planning to speak to your doctor. I pray that it went well. Do you have a local church that offers a women’s Bible study you could attend? Would you consider that? For me meeting with other women from church for a time of Bible study has helped develop some of my closest friendships. As we gather our bond grows and we help carry one another’s burdens.
About the mentor, I will send a comment to the moderator and ask if they can follow up with you.
Please write back here anytime. I check in every couple of days. Keeping you lifted up in my prayers!
Kate
thanks kate. im going to the doctors office for a follow-up appointment tomarrow. i will talk to him about it then. hes the only one i feel comfortable telling right now. today i knew there wasnt much to eat in the house i was babysitting in, so i havent eaten since noon and its after 5 in the evening. i have a mentor but she hasnt been replying. she replys every few weeks and thats not enough for me. when i asked for another one she was the mentor to reply back. i dont know what to do!
Dear angels, Thank you so much for sharing your encouraging story! It is great to have your input on this site.
Hi Madison,
There are some videos and articles, certainly (check out http://powertochange.com/discover/faith/anorexia/#comments for example), but as angels mentioned, please don’t neglect seeing a family doctor. Your health is so important. Get yourself equipped with information. Ask for a referral to medical professionals in your area. There are many wise people who can help. Please do not wait until you are ‘desperate’, please act now.
We would also be glad for you to connect with one of our mentors who will walk with you, encourage you and pray with you. To sign up, please follow this link http://powertochange.com/discover/talk-to-a-mentor/ I want to pray for you now:
Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for Madison. Thank You for her life and the great purpose and plan You have for her. Father, I ask that You open the right doors for her to find the support she needs. Lord, so often we think that our plan will solve everything, but in reality we need You. Please guide her forward as she consults with medical professionals, as well as sending friends and family to support her. Thank You for Your tender care, and thank You Holy Spirit for alerting Madison to any dangerous pitfalls. In Jesus’ name, amen.
I had an issue with anorexia over a year ago. My counsellor sent me to a therapist that speacializes in eating disorders. The therapy does work and I can finally eat food without worrying about getting fat or constantly weighing myself or exercising excessively!
I didn’t think I needed help either until some friends and family intervened on my behalf. My aunt also had anorexia and was hospitilized. She almost died. She is 5’9 and weighed 89lbs. Do not wait any longer for help. I have dealt with it and so has my aunt. If you wait, I don’t mean to scare you, but anorexia will kill you, not might, will! It does major damage to your organs and your family doctor will have to do blood tests to make sure your not vitamin deficient and check your kidneys and your liver.
DO NOT let anyone tell you you have a spiritual issue and you need spiritual help. This is a major psychological disorder and also can have psychiatric illnesses that are not being treated or not being treated properly.
You are in my thoughts and prayers today! If you don’t want help for yourself, think of your family. Just get the help, you won’t be regret that you did and you will finally lead a happy and fulfilling life. For me, food was the only thing I could have control over in my life. Now I can enjoy the foods I feared to touch without feeling guilty or feeling like I was geting fat.
Is there help on this site for anorexics? I think i`m anorexic and i`m looking for online help. It`s not bad. I tend to be calorie restrictant. I`m not desperate for help yet. I just need some support
I found the book “Intuitive Eater” to be life changing. I suggest picking it up and retraining yourself to eat properly. It certainly helped me.
..I’m 24..and will be turning 25 on July..I’ve been an emotional eater since high school days up to now..had slimmed down but gained back the lost weight..I’ve been dealing lots of problems in my life now..married life..family..both..I mean,in my father’s and mother’s side..my head is about to explode,I think..I really2 want to shout-out loud..cry..and sometimes..,almost paranoid thinking about my husband if he’s secretly cheating on me..he’s always away for a year because he’s a seafarer..I re
I’m 58, have been an emotional eater for as long as I can remember, and I’m still on a diet. This time I’m trying to involve excersice too. Too many problems to deal with, but they do say that ” you only only fail when you give up !!”
( I can’t remember the proper saying but it’s similar to that!!)
have started running and now will start praying again too!, thank you for your good advise, will also buy the book. Thank you. Jane Dow.