How can I get over a heart ache?

Written by Dr. Ginger Gabriel, Ph.D., M.F.T

heartacheHow do you get over a heart ache? I know they say time heals all wounds but who needs time when you’re heart broken? How do you get over an ex- boyfriend when you have to face him practically everyday? It just hurts to see a love that was once there but is not there now. We used to be so close and now we’re practically like strangers.

Advice: How long were you and this guy going together? It is important to know that you are in a grieving process. Some people make closer attachments than others and these are harder to break off. It is also true that the more physically intimate you are with another, the harder it is to break off. I’m pretty sure that is the main reason why the Bible says not to have intercourse or heavy petting until you are married. I don’t know how close the two of you got, but it sounds as though you are now going through a difficult time.

My suggestion is to find some activities to think about and get excited about. This year I had something kind of similar take place so I joined a gym and have begun to work out. I was amazed how many acquaintances also worked out at the gym. I have made some closer friends. I also joined Toastmasters and am developing my speaking skills (meeting new people) and I got a kayak (we have a lake nearby). These things have helped be avoid compulsively thinking about a painful situation. You also could watch all the old Jane Austin movies. Fill your odd time with old movies. You will get used to seeing unrequited love. Its called flooding. You may get a different perspective on your ex. That would be one way of handling it. Have you read Changes That Heal by Henry Cloud? This book is great at giving good information and new perspectives.

Dr. Ginger

devo-interact-icon-42x42Do you struggle with the deep darkness of depression and find yourself without hope? Talk to us.


293 Responses to “How can I get over a heart ache?”

  • Chris says:

    lucy…sorry for your struggles. in jesus we know that he has the right person for us. all you can do is continue to give your heart to jesus each day and let christ be the one to do the choosing. our faith isnt in people. if they come or go, we still have jesus promise to join us to the right person. keep your standard as high as Gods. he has for you a Christian man who will love you through christ, be in church with you and submitted to your local pastor. until you have such a candidate, dont settle for less. blessings!

  • Fernie says:

    I am not religious but I do believe in God. With that saying it is written that God gave us free will. Meaning we have freedom to make choices.
    Your ex should not use God as an excuse for the breakup . He either doesn’t love you enough to be with you or he has other reasons but God has nothing to do with it. Take time to heal but then find someone that will love you and appreciate you

  • Lucy says:


    I had being going out with a guy for a year and about a month ago he broke up with me,saying he didn’t think God was telling him I am the one.

    I am absolutely heart broken. I 100% thought i was going to marry him and thought/still think god is telling me he is the one.

    I am just struggling to know what to do

  • Chris says:

    danny…i pray for you today that jesus would console your heart in this situation and that romans 8.28 could be applied to your life so that the next time you meet someone who isnt truly a Christian, you would guard yourself from entering into a sentimental relationship with them knowing that without christ, 2 cor 6.14 would apply in such cases. blessings to you heart in jesus name amen

  • Danny says:


    I have been involved with a man for a year. He left me 3 months ago after a very painful and hurtful 2nd 6 months of the relationship. It was emotionally and verbally abusive. He was always very caring though and did everything I asked of him. My family tried to keep us apart and when they were finally coming around he walked away. He never gave me a good enough reason but that he doesn’t wish to be apart of my family. I come from a stable, loving family that is very overprotective. My parents and myself are very spiritual and have a strong personal walk with Jesus. He did not like this.

    He lost his father when he was 8, was married and divorced within 2 years and lost his sister last year when she was murdered by her husband. I watched him deteriorate and pull away from me and God. He hasn’t been to church since Easter.

    On Saturday our church had a conference, which I volunteered at, he decided to come and I ran into him a few times. At first he didn’t want to talk but then he decided to make small talk, it really upset me because he spoke to me like nothing happened between us.

    He looks like he’s abusing drugs and alcohol and even had a Hindu symbol on him.

    I really have been improving to forget him, I don’t know why God allowed me to see him.

    Now I feel emotional and all the hurt has come flooding back. Please can I ask that you pray with me for courage and strength and that should we ever cross paths again that I will be strong and know that it is Gods will that he isn’t in my life anymore.

    I really want to get more involved at church and move forward but I find it so difficult if I run into him.


  • Elkay says:

    Audrina, this is not a popular thing to say in today’s permissive society but living with your current boyfriend is immoral in God’s eyes if you are having sexual relations with him. You can resolve two issues if you will move out and live independently and prayerfully ask God to help you understand your feelings for both your long-term friend and your more recent boyfriend. If you want to learn some of the many Scriptural verses that describe how God feels about sexual relations outside of marriage, please reply. Only He knows the future and His plans for your life but obedience to His commands today is the best way to get your life on the right track. This may sound like tough-talk, but I truly want to help and honesty is the best approach.

  • Audrina says:

    I have been friends with someone for about 5 years now. We got really close but no sexual intercourse. It was like we were dating but not dating. Maybe just really close friends. We even argued like a couple. Then he left for the Navy. I have had a boyfriend for 14 months and we live together. Extremely happy. But every now and then I still think of my friend. When I do, it breaks me. Especially when I see his name or he tries to talk to me. I have told him we couldn’t speak because my boyfriend gets upset. I mean, I would to if I was in his position. What I don’t understand is, me and my friend has never dated.honestly didn’t hangout all the much either. We went a while talking then a year without talking so really only been friends 3 years I guess. So why do I still care about him? Why do I still ache? It has been over a year since me and my friend has spoken.. Until about 30 minutes ago..

  • Chris says:

    simone9303…sorry to hear of your situation. it is true when someone is struggling with their mental health that others may very well suffer with them but your husband should be willing to seek help which he is apparently struggling to reckon with. the good thing is in this world, God never limits our freedom and happiness based on people which is something we all need to learn sooner or later, hopefully sooner. people may and probably will fail us in many different kinds of ways but God never will. he is the best friend anyone could ever have. he wants to help you have a stable life so that despite, with or without people, you can still find your happiness in him. if you would like more information on having such a life, log onto or by clicking talk to a mentor above. i pray that jesus would comfort you in this situation as he also has mercy on your husband to do what is right and seek christ for himself and the help he needs to be a good husband and father in jesus name amen

  • Simone9303 says:

    My husband of 3 years just turn one evening and said I’m leaving you. We had been together for ten years before marrying. Just before he announced he was leaving our daughter was being tested for aspergers. We got the results that she does have aspergers one month after he said he was leaving which I had to find out by myself. He eventually moved out four months after to share a house we a friend. I’ve then came back saying he thinks he also has aspergers as which I had started to suspect as it answered a lot of our misunderstandings. I was so heartbroken and hurt by all the awful things he said while he was still in the house before he left. He kept saying we are incompatible and have.nothing in common. I cried so much I thought I was going to die. But I started to pull myself together for my daughter and started to realise you can’t force someone to love you. My daughter and I started to get in to a routing and then four months after he had left the house he came round crying saying he realised I was the only person who understood home and that he had some many things he wanted to say to me but didn’t know how to get his words out. I had been seeing a counsellor and said that the counsellor thought he should come with me he said for the first time he is not saying know to counselling and I started to feel like maybe he wanted to seek help to get us back together. After this he came round a lot stayed watching movies with me talking to me about his stresses at work. Then he started a course and asked if he could stay at the house while he did it because it was easier for him to study. I agreed and he stayed with us for two months during this time we was getting on good and laughing again. But it still didn’t feel right as he still was not telling me what it was he wanted to talk about two months before. Eventually I confessed to him that I still loved him and what was it he wanted to say did he want to finalise the separation or try to get back together he said he didn’t know which came as a total shock as that had not been the impression he gave me and my daughter he had bought flowers and card for valentines, birthday present and Mother’s Day flowers. I started to feel used and taken for granted as if I was being dangled on a string until he decided what he wanted. Every time I tried to get him to come to counselling he said he thinks he should go to one on his own when I said you can see the one I am seeing on your own he said he thought he should see his own but did nothing about it. In the end I got so made and gave him an ultamium saying that if he ever loved me and meant his vows then he would come round at a time on a Saturday to come with to the counsellor and get this sorted. The day came and he called me an hour before the time saying that he had been thinking all week and had barely slept and cried most evenings but he was not coming to the counsellor and that it was over between us he did not see any point in going to a counsellor he didn’t want to be with me anymore as he didn’t love me. It was like he tore my heart out all over again. I feel like such a fool cause I stuck by him through so much he claims he gave me all of him and tried so hard but I didn’t even know he was trying in all came as such a shock he gave me a card that said to my wife loved to bits just three months before he said he was leaving the first time. I don’t know whether I’ll ever be able to trust someone again. I’m devasted he and my daughter was my world I never imagined life without him. When we got married he said I had him for life and I was stuck with him as he was never going anywhere. I wasn’t perfect and have never claimed to be but I most certainly did love him and did whatever I could for him. I don’t know how I’ll get over this as I feel like I’m in a nightmare. Even though he says he doesn’t love me it doesn’t feel true that was not what he was showing this year. He was so depressed in his job and felt pressured to provide for his family and he blamed me as I gave up work to work from home looking after kids. He hated that I had strangers in the house and felt I put more pressure on him to stay in this job. I feel like life as a family man got too much for him and by saying he doesn’t love me makes it easier to walk away or maybe I just don’t want to accept that he truly doesn’t love me and never did. Everyone says get on with your life without him but I don’t know whether I am letting him down by not being there for him if he is going through some crisis but how many times can one person hear I don’t love you anymore before they try and stop loving that person so they can more on. I hate myself for not being stronger and for letting my daughter see me so weak. I don’t want her to think that this is how she should be allow some one to treat her this way. Will I ever get over this pain and loss?

  • Chris says:

    Kelly…sorry to hear of your situation….its not that marriage wouild guarantee a life-time commitment from your friend, but we cant improve on Gods design for one man and one woman to be wed in holy matrimony before having sexual intimacy and living together. i encourage you along those lines that you would pray first about having jesus christ as your own personal savior so that your life can blossom into the plans he has for you. you can find out more about that on or by clicking talk to a mentor above. God surely has a better way of living as we follow his principles in his Word the bible. he has preserved it for us down through the ages. generations of people will come and go including ours but jesus and his words of instructions will live on forever. i pray you take advantage of this time of reflection in seeing how life can be so disappointing when we are counting on people who are not close to christ themselves. it makes for a life of pure instability. jesus has something better for you today. blessings!!

  • Elkay says:

    Kelly, when sadness, depression, or loneliness assails us, we may feel as if there’s nowhere to turn. But God clearly tells us what to do when we’re in need: We are to go straight to His throne of grace. This throne room is filled with God’s glory, power, and radiant majesty—it is a holy place from which He rules over the entire universe.

    We may feel unworthy, but God extends His great mercy and love to us from His throne, taking away our sin. We can approach God there once we have given our lives to Him through Christ. We are welcome because Jesus is our intercessor—He gives us access to the God of all creation.

    He Jesus is also our Advocate and the True Friend who will never leave us, who will never deceive us or hurt us. It sounds like your boyfriend fails in all these areas so I would let him go and focus on building a relationship with Christ.

  • kelly says:

    I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half now we both messed around but we worked through that but he told me I forced us back into our relationship I have been faithful to him since we decided to work things out he I feel has not he moved out of our house we bought together and moved in with family I feel he is still messing around because he is always blaming me he is very stressed out because he can’t find a job and could possibly face a month in jail he says he needs his space and when I asked him he said I wasn’t the problem I love him and don’t want to lose him but feel I already have he won’t talk to me or call and he stop having sex and sayin I love you I’m at a loss feel my world is coming down and my best friend is never coming back

  • Chris says:

    Kelly….sorry to hear about your situation. sadly, it appears your boyfriend simply isnt willing to commit to you neither as your boyfriend nor your future husband. more than likely, his relationship with christ isnt what it should be if it exists at all which makes marrying someone like that very dangerous anyway. i would suggest that you draw near to jesus since he is the only one who can clarify to you these personal issues. log onto so you can find out how to live a life directed by God your father who loves you and knows who are the right people you need in your life. if you do know jesus already, be sure to have a strong Christian pastor who can orient you in walking with God according to his Word. i pray you would take those steps towards christ and his people. by surrounding yourself with godliness, you will not be distrubed if the ungodly do not care for you. blessings!

  • Kelly says:

    I have been with my bf for 8 years an I have never been able to trust him completely because of his love for other female attention. So me not trusting him cause a lot of problem but I found out he kissed another girl after we broke up for about 5 hours now I don’t what to do

  • Elkay says:

    Catherine Grace, there’s a phrase, “When life deals you lemons, make lemonade” and it sounds like you are seeking the Lord and thanking Him for His love first and foremost at a hard time in life.

    Life is like that at times for every one of us. Hurt or abandonment by a mate or good friend can bring us into a dark season. We do not understand why the Lord has allowed the trial or lets the pain continue.

    We may find ourselves doubting God when our expectations are dashed by the reality of our situation. That’s when we must remember three essential truths about the Lord:

    1. He is totally sovereign (Ps. 103:19). God has everything in His control even when we can’t perceive it.

    2. He is infinitely wise (Rom. 11:33-36). God knows every side of the situation (inside and out) and every event (past, present, and future).

    3. He loves perfectly (Ex. 34:6). Without exception, He always chooses what is best for us, even if it’s not easy.

    One of the keys to walking through dark valleys—those times when life seems to be crumbling and the future’s looking grim—is to embrace the reality of the Lord’s presence with us. At the moment of salvation, the Holy Spirit comes to live permanently within the Christian and seals him or her as belonging to God forever. Because of the indwelling Spirit, we’re never apart from God. No circumstance, suffering, or loss can separate us from Him or His love (Rom. 8:35, 38-39).

    Lord, help Catherine Grace to worship You during the hard times. Help her to trust in You. Give her strength to praise you through all circumstances in life. Amen.

  • Catherine grace says:

    Wow i thank God he made me stumble upon this page husband of 15 years was having an affair with my son’s teacher.i got a phone call from my son to pick him up at the time my oldest daughter was with me and had her off we went,there in the parking lot was my X and the teacher I had to act like a lady my daughter well I can’t imagine what she felt.but she hurried right behind me where I asked the principal do you know where your teachers are? The kids that could see the parking lot were telling my son.he was crying waiting for me we picked up my other daughter and left our small privileged town where I was involved in every aspect of the school’s.
    Well I moved away to another town and never spoke bad about their father but there was really no contact on either partys.he gave me he’ll with money and never complained or talked about him all three children graduated college and are the best kids.i never dated all our free time was spent together the children were concerned about me and wanted me to start dating. Just the thought of it made me bury my head in life.i was so scared.i was a mess going threw the car wash and this great guy who seemed shy helped me pick and put on new license plate covers.we exchanged numbers and our first date was Feb 14 turned out we were childhood friends and had crushes on each other sounds great right.i loved him so much.but it was like he took from me he lied about everything he was first after a year with egg on my face to the day I left hurts worst then my divorce. Why? I think having a warm body next to me.i don’t sick I miss him so much.thank god I’ve been seeking out the Lord since we were struck with hurricane sandy.i thank god for his love.

  • Me says:

    When you are betrayed and your heart is broken it’s ok to be down but it’s not ok to stay down.
    Work up to courage to continue by
    Finding hobbies
    Staying connected with friends and family
    Do things you enjoy
    In time you will feel better . Always love yourself as you are one who will never betray you

  • Shelley says:

    Thank you marc for your comment, as you continue to seek God’s grace, may He bless you with his love, in Jesus name /amen

  • Marc says:

    Hi..I have been betrayed too by someone who convinced me to trust him…the same guy convinced
    Me to move on n leave him..for no fault of it hurt me.I have never been in a relationship earlier
    Never wanted to either..I just wanted to get married and that’s it..this has been the worst happenings in my life
    There’s more to it..but anyway I’m back with Jesus.let no bad influence get in my way ever again.
    When in a circumstance where u feel empty n lost..turn to God for comfort n u will be at peace.

  • Chris says:

    margaret devastated…father we lift up margaret to you now, knowing that as she gives her heart to you each day and has other godly women pray with and over her too, that this season of grief will pass. knowing that you have a plan for our lives, we want to follow your will and not ours. help margaret to know and understand, seek and do your will. she will find that her life will have peace knowing that she wants to please only you. in jesus name amen.

  • Me says:

    Although you do love this man he was just an illusion.
    He was pretending to be someone he is not. I’m sure the man of your dreams would not be a cheater. This man was.
    In time you will realize his bad side and not only focus on his good sides. You will move on and meet a real man

  • Maricris says:


    You will eventually move on, it takes time and give ur heartache to The Lord. There’s a reason why The Lord didn’t let you be with him, god works in mysterious way. Jt remember you are worth more that that and don’t deserved anything less. God has brought you another man, a man that will be there for you. It takes time to heal all heartache you will eventually love the new man in your life. Jt believe and trust in The Lord. I will pray for you.

  • I was with a man for 4 years and engaged 2. At first I was not attracted to him and only wanted to be friends. That didn’t last long before I fell madly in love with him. I loved this man more than I ever loved anyone before all except my children of course but relationship wise. In Oct, he broke up with me for someone else he had been cheating with the past year and after 3 months of our breakup, he and she are in love and planning to be married. My heart is so broken. No matter what I do, how much I pray, meeting new people, spending time with family, talking with friends, I cry my heart out everyday. I absolutelylove this man more than I ever thought I could love anyone.. Recently I have met someone else who is crazy about me. Knows the story of my ex and wants to be right at my side every step of the way. He wants commitment and family life. Part of me wants to give it a chance but I love my ex so much it is preventing me from moving on and this guy knows this but yet he won’t let go. Please pray for me. I don’t see how I’m going to get past this hurt. I am so torn. So devastated. I lost the man of my dreams.

  • Kathryn Kathryn says:

    Hi Carla, This is very sad for you. It sounds as if you are from a culture where the children have to do what the parents says even in the realm of love and marriage. That’s really tough but please realise that your boyfriend is probably also suffering as he must have given up his former girlfriend to be friends with you and maybe she is being forced into a relationship that she did not really want. You will be grieving now but I trust that soon you will meet someone who will be the special person that you are seeking to love, marry and start a family. Please do not give up hope. God is good, may He bless you at this time and as you seek to move on.

  • carla says:

    I’ve been asking myself for too long weather I made the right choice of leaving my boyfriend or not. All he showed to me was pleasant and he never did anything to hurt me.The problems started when his family prefers someone who had a good standing in life and has a good family background for him. Actually it was his ex-girlfriend.I can’t blame his family, either I would think the same if I were in their shoe. It hurts to see that he did nothing about it. He never fight for me. I want our relationship to last but I’m not martyr not to see what his doing. I’m a girl, there is no way for me to chase him. I love him. Please I need you advice

  • Sharon says:

    good article and good comments coming out of this article

  • kaleya j says:

    I have been with my husband for 9 years, we had to part due to violence. I was not ready as much as it sound stupid but I believed in the marriage. Its now 7 months, it was hard to not be able to hold him, but it got better. I decided to go to church and just rebuild my life. And then I see him there what a surprise. So many emotions running through my head so now I have to start over with the healing process. And then I cant go back to church because he goes there. The thought of seeing him with someone else will hurt even more. I understand what you all are going through. Its a process, emotional ups and down. This too shall pass.

  • Shelley says:

    Dear Father God.

    Lord I lift up anyone who is going through a heart ache in there lives. I pray that you will heal and comfort them in this time of need from You. In Jesus Mighty name Amen

  • mac2life says:

    I want to thank you all for your help and comments. OMOLARA, your words really opened my eyes….thank you for all.

    thank you.

  • Same boat says:

    Thank you to Anthony hurt and Camili, I love your comments and really want to thank you for your wonderful comments, taking some of your advices =-).

    To Mrs. M, you have done nothing wrong. Be yourself and keep trying to do everything right not only for him/or anyone else, but for yourself. You are the only person who can love yourself the way you want it to be so that is why you need to do EVERYTHING for you. It’s been 5 months after my last post and it still feels like yesterday, but I’m so much better now, I’ve beginning to love myself much more now.

  • Mrs. M says:

    How do I deal with a cheating husband? He moved out 4 months ago and is already seeing a child to him she is almost 35 years younger than he is. I just found out that he spent Valentine’s with her and took her out of town to meet his family. We have been together 11 years and married 3. I am so very hurt. I did all the right things I thought I pray & fasted before I married him asking Gods will. I have an ex- husband for the very same reason cheating. My now husband knows what I went through with my ex now here I go again. I don’t understand what I am doing wrong. Even after my husband moved out I prayed, fasted and even gave a seed faith offering and ask God to move and so far everything that I did not what to happen has. So I want to know is it me? What I am doing wrong? I have done EVERYTHING I was told that God said do the best I could and so far it as not work out. I love my husband very much and I want Gods will in my life but I am tired of the hurt. My faith is so weak right now. I see others that are married and doing fine and never go to church do not even talk about God or anything been happy for years. That is all I want is a happy marriage and live for the Lord is that too much to ask? Should I still hold on for my marriage or give up?

  • Camili says:

    Something to keep the light on inside when it hurts so much. I can see many people here have some BIG hurt to recover from. Love is never simple because it is always changing. Remember that the person you love who has hurt you, is the person you know best. You know that the love that they have found now will also change…. Don’t compare yourself. you are still beautiful and you need to see that you are strong. Treat yourself kindly, give yourself some time to take care of yourself, do some things your always wanted to do. Almost like a bucket list. Get to know who you are without the other person.

    What they left behind, will be someone that another person will love and want very much… So please look after that. It’s a painful time but someone needs you… You’ll see who they are in your family. Someone will come into your world again and the best thing you can do for them is to look after yourself. Hold your head up, cry it out and then just believe.

    Gods plan and desire is that you are happy. This will come…


  • Michael Jantzen M. Jantzen says:

    Hello Anthony Hurt, from reading your story I could sense your pain. You have clearly been dealt a blow. But I also sensed your hope. You are making it through the grieving process in a healthy way and not letting this blow cripple you forever. You might also want to read our article called “Life After Divorce: Now What?” Plus, if you’re finding yourself running into stumbling blocks during the healing process, you may want to connect with one of our confidential online mentors. We would connect you with someone who has experience helping people who’ve gone through similar things. Here’s the link: Take care.

  • Anthony Hurt says:

    Jan,29, 2014
    I never thought I would ever go through the painful break that i have seen so many go through.Finally out of nowhere i was dropped a bomb right before me. when I thought all was well, she told me we are first it was a like a dream, but when she told me she is seeing someone else,it became real and forever gut torturing pain.Pain that just wont leave me;panic attacks,no sleep, no eat, no life. All i can think of is her and him doing what we did. At times i compared myself to/ with him which only made my pain more intense. What he had was more than I. How in the hell could this be, yesterday was great,fun, laughter,Casinos, no signs of ever detaching. The love i felt, the intimacy all over the house and now, not a sign that she we ever exited. For sure the pain is here and now and the worst i ever felt. Not even shrapnel on my back could cover the pain i feel day in and day out throughout my mind and body. Today with courage, I learned the The Serenity Prayer…I will never change her, but I have all the tools to change me. She opened my heart without knowing it, I realized i had much to be grateful for including her. She is the best tool for my greatest change. I miss her, but I am grateful I still have me and that she is alive and happy, Amen

  • Doris Beck D. Beck says:

    Thank you for that suggestion Lyn!

  • Lyn says:

    I found to be a great resource. Very supportive community of people going through the same thing.

  • Shelley says:

    Dear Father God.

    Lord I lift up my sister/brother to You at this time in there life, that You will comfort them and help them in there time of need. In Jesus Mighty name Amen

  • omolara says:

    Emotional injury are worse than death.To love and fall in love are two different things.To fall in love is a feeling of warmth and ectasy,bottom line is all about yourself.To love is mature acceptance of imperfection,care,sacrifice,it is a decision to give your care,strength and weakness.Emotional injury can be caused by betrayal,rejection and loss.healing an emotional injury is different from getting over it.people deceive theirselves,by engaging in activities(external) that divert their attention.That is wrong!you may be hurt deeply and get over it,after 10 years,you see something or someone that reminds you of the event,you heart starts aching.Not everyone are the same,friends may deceive you saying”stop crying,lets chill out”,you know yourself,deep inside you there is an injury.The steps are useful for healing:
    1)Accept you have been hurt,know how you feel,tell it out,write it out,measure your heart
    2)I am a christian,the word of God is life,it pierces true all wounds.Study your holy book,pray to God,pour out your sorrow to him,tell him,he love you so much,and is always ready to help
    3)acknowledge that everything happens for a reason.There is an advantage to this event
    4)console yourself by hearing others plight
    5)give out love
    6)do not bottle up grief,cry and cry,do not avoid it
    7)do not ever compare saying”but emeli is happily married,why not me?”.You are You,you are not emeli!the saddest people on earth,compare theirselves with others,you are unique of God creation.
    My name is omolara,am 15 years old,just know i love you very much,and you are worth dying for…muaah

  • Alfred says:

    Alfred says:
    I believe that time does not heal any wounds —– unless, during that time, someone is doing something about it. Dr. G. Gabriel makes some very good points, guiding hurting souls to recover from heartache! A friend of mine who suffers from extreme traumatic stress, likes to read, as that gives him someone else’s worries to think about (rather than his own). Diversion is good therapy.
    Dear “Heartbroken” and “Same Boat”, God did not say that He would help us avoid all troubles and pains, but he said He’d help us through them! I have to think of the shepherd who has his flock of sheep in an upland pasture. There is even better grazing in a pasture that is still higher up, but there is a mountain stream separating him form that greener pasture. To get there he has to take his flock through that valley. It is a dangerous territory, but that is where the fresh water flows. The sheep follow their Shepherd, for they trust him and know that he will see them through. They climb up out of that valley, strengthened and full of new hope and courage, for they made it through the valley.
    Come, hurting soul, trust the Good Shepherd to see you through, drink deeply from the Water of Life, and climb up to the greener pastures waiting for you. Mind you, with that may also come greater responsibilities, but God will never ask us to do more than what He knows we can handle (with His help). Remember, the Holy Spirit is your Guide, Comforter and Friend. When you look in the mirror each morning, tell yourself that you have much to be thankful for and much to look forward to. Blessings!

  • ALEI says:

    so much hurt.!! were almost3 yrs with 1 kid, my parents doesnt want him, in 3 yrs we face many trials, he confront me that he was tired about our family problem in my side, he loves me so much and i know it, i just realized that he has friend who he cried on shoulder, they had a sex, i was so hurt when i knew it, and i confront him, and it was true, he cried and say sorry, but everything change between me & I after that happen, and he confront me that he loves that the girl, i washurt, and i realized its time to letting him go, i hope i will more stronger for my 1 yr old son, i cried more!! i can get over. i still love him and i still do, and he said that he still love me but the whole world was agaisnt US ever since!

  • Same boat says:

    Heartbroken, I know how you feel, I’ve just ended my 10 years of relationship with my ex and i’m so hurt too, but what I realized was that at least it is better to know now than later. I’m sorry for your lost and I know how you feel. It’s very painful and I don’t wish this upon anyone. Lately, I’ve been going to the gym and it has helped me alot. You should too, and think about it, your health is the most important thing that you should keep up to date. I know that it’s harder than what u and I think, but there’s really nothing we can do but to move on. Improve yourself and create the best of you, you will ever create. Happiness comes to those who becomes wiser and smarter. Wish you the best and I hope I will get through this as well. Good Luck.

  • heartbroken says:

    I never thought i would experience heart ache. My fiancee recently left me for some other guy. We have been involved with each other for almost 12 years, next year June was going to be our marriage. 2 months ago we had an argument, it was just like all the previous arguments we have had, but then she came up to me and said she did not to marry because she loved someone else. When I heard this I was destroyed. We have been together since childhood, almost 12 years and now that we were about to be married, she fell in love with someone else in just 3 months? I cant eat, cant sleep. It is as if I have a big rock crushing my heart. I don’t know when this hurt will end. I am a guy and I dont cry ever but recently I have been crying unintentionally. it is so painful

  • Michael Jantzen Michael Jantzen says:

    Maria Lopez,

    Thank you for sharing about your struggle to detach yourself from that man at work. You mentioned that you cried to the Lord and begged to get over him. Sex (even when people just call it ‘casual’ or ‘friends with benefits’) always creates an emotional bind to a person. This can last for years.

    I would encourage you to make use of one of our confidential online mentors. Talking it out could help you make the right decisions to detach every emotional and psychological cord that still binds you to that relationship. And sometimes we need help to cry out to the Lord together. One of our confidential mentors would love to pray for you through this painful process. Just click here:

    Thank you.

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