I don’t want to be intimate with my husband

I just got married and right now I feel as though I’m in mourning. I feel miserable and unhappy. I don’t understand why! My husband is wonderful. I truly love him. The only thing is, right now I don’t even want to be intimate with him. I look for excuses to be angry with him and I spend most of my time away from him. We don’t have any romance and I am feeling absolute despair. Can you steer me in the right direction?

Advice: You are right, something is off balance. Many women have expressed similar, post-marital feelings, have some wires crossed in the emotional part of their brain. They are acting on and reacting to unconscious scripts in their heads. Ask around and find a competent therapist to begin meeting with. To get you started, pick up the book, Love is a Choice

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by Hemfelt, Minirth & Meiers and Changes That Heal by Cloud and Townsend. Your issues are definitely solvable and not unusual, just problematic for you and your husband. Tell us where you live and we can refer someone to you. Focus on the Family also has a good referral system. Thanks for writing.