How do I apologize to an offended friend?
Two years ago a neighbor was visiting me while I was recovering from surgery and anxiously awaiting my doctor’s call with test results. I received a phone call from a friend during the visit. I commented to my neighbor that it was a friend on the phone. She told my husband I was rude to her and that she is waiting for an apology (our children go to the same school, but she snubs me at functions). I know I should apologize, even though she totally misunderstood me and overreacted, I just don’t know how to go about it. Can you help me?
Advice: Thanks for writing. It is uncomfortable being snubbed, but snubbing is usually about the other person, not you. It becomes your issue not hers. However, how it is that you have a problem calling her and saying, “It appears that I have offended you. I’m sorry that you felt ignored when I took a phone while you were at my home. Please forgive me. I don’t want my actions to be an offense to you.” If you don’t want to do that or she won’t accept that, then you go to all your functions planning on smiling at her and saying “hi.” If she doesn’t respond, it’s on her not you. For more insight, pick up the book Safe People , by Townsend and Cloud.
