12 Tips for the Practical Bride
Written by Danielle Kreeft
It’s not always an easy world for a bride to be in. Once the diamond slips on your finger, you’ve instantly become the target audience for a 50 billion dollar industry in the U.S. alone. And they’re eagerly waiting to sell you your fantasy.
Magazine racks are stocked with wedding magazines full of gowns, flawless skin and cavalier grooms posing in Armani. Celebrity unions splash front pages with their Christian Dior Haute Couture dresses and $500,000 worth of roses flown in from Ecuador. Tune into Wedding TV, glance at a Tiffany ad or read repetitive wedding language – fantasy honeymoon, dream wedding, perfect day – and it’s no wonder wedding expectations shoot past reality.
It can divert all your attention to anything other than budgets, family conflicts and what inevitably comes after the big day, the marriage. From the experience of brides that have gone before you, take some of these ideas and tips for your wedding day to ease the stress, stay in reality and ward off sky-high expectations.
- Get to the basics first. You might want to chase the wedding dress and flowers and frills first, but the ceremony and reception venues, as well as photographers, go the fastest and need to be booked well in advance. Start with those and everything else can follow.
- Ditch the 10 pound planning book. It’s glossy and beautiful, but it’s anything but practical. Find something basic and you’re going to be way more likely to keep it with you and actually use it to stay organized.
- Look for a venue that combines the things you need if you don’t want to juggle things like catering, a venue and a DJ separately. With one manager that is in tune with your vision for the day, everything is coordinated together, which is much less stressful for a lot of brides.
- Be on the same page with your hairdresser. Don’t let them decide what would look best, but be clear with what you want.
- Set some time aside before the flurry of last-minute preparations to think about your wedding speeches and thank-you’s. This is your chance to address everyone you love. Put some thoughts on paper so you say what you’ve always wanted to and avoid forgetting someone. Bring the piece of paper up if you need to stay focused.
- I’ve been told countless times that if you’re going to dish out extra money on something, make it the photographer. When the confetti has been tossed and the last dance ends, you’re going to want all the laughter and love captured by a photographer that knows your style and expectations for the photos.
- Relax, even if it’s just in the morning. Book an early hair appointment and have a wonderful time with the women in your life around tea and breakfast. You’ll make memories, enjoy their company and feel at ease before the events of the day start unfolding.
- Communicate with your fiancée! Yes, mothers, sisters, aunts, bridesmaids and a wedding planner are going to be in constant dialogue with you about the day. But don’t let all the outside commentary leave no room for your future husband’s input. It’s a day for you as a couple, not just you. Talk with one another and communicate your expectations and hopes for the day.
- On the same note though, don’t let talk of the wedding day inject itself into every conversation you and your future spouse have. There is a lot that needs to be organized, planned, budgeted for and discussed, but healthy boundaries will only help to keep both of you centered on your relationship and life after the wedding day.
- Make sure you have solid premarital counseling. Conflict, sex, communication, finances and in-laws are only a few things that get covered in preparation for marriage. So find marriage mentors you trust that will guide you wisely towards your future.
- Remember what comes after the wedding day. There’s more than just the gift opening or the honeymoon, but a marriage that comes afterwards. You’re promising forever on your wedding day, but so often brides don’t see past midnight. Not only does seeing past the day offset some of the fallout from such a big event, it also sets you up to be focused on your relationship as husband and wife right from the start.
- The biggest piece of advice passed around is to not let other people cloud you and your fiancée’s vision for the day. It’s your wedding. Don’t think about expectations, what others would want, what pictures the bridal magazines paint or everyone else’s opinions. You can’t please everyone. Decide what you want and don’t be afraid to stick to it.
Your wedding is a big day, but it’s not the only day. You have a lifetime of days to live together and losing sight of them will only create a struggle straight out of the gate. Plan the wedding wisely together and incorporate both your ideas for the day in a realistic way.
Maybe you won’t have a couture dress, foreign flowers or an extravagant honeymoon, but if what you do have reflects you as a couple, it will be what you always dreamed of. I guarantee you’ll look back on it and be glad you didn’t spend anywhere near $500,000 on Ecuadorian foliage.
Related reading:
Chosen: The Joy of Knowing you are Loved!
How to Affair-Proof Your Marriage (Video)
Tags: bride, couples, Danielle Kreeft, Family, LIFE, love, marriage, relationships, wedding, Women
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