Inner Quietness in the Midst of Busyness
In the brief moments I am awake each morning before my alarm rings, I often find myself doing a mental calculation of the many things I will need to do the moment my feet touch the floor. Planning meals, organizing rides for the kids, and ensuring each family member has what they need for the day, are just a few of the things that run through my mind aside from my own work day plans.
Many of us have lives that feel like they are spiraling out of control. We struggle to find balance by juggling hectic careers, meeting the expectations and responsibilities involved in maintaining relationships, managing a household and staying on top of fast-paced changes in our culture. This can tax even the strongest of men and women.
Over the years, roles and responsibilities tend to go through much change.
There are seasons when we are so busy, that our goal becomes to simply survive with the least amount of error possible. For me personally, as my responsibilities change, I make adjustments to how I bring order into my home. Scheduling has become a fine art in our family. I’ve tried numerous methods including everything from using a kitchen calendar with different colored pens to electronic devices.
But as difficult as it might seem, it is possible to eliminate the chaotic frenzy that accompanies the demands we face each day. There are certain things that I’ve discovered can be helpful to take some of the chaos out of the busyness:
1. Consider yourself and your relationships
- Take time for yourself. You may be so overwhelmed that you don’t have time to do that. But when we neglect to nourish and nurture ourselves, we soon have little left to work with in giving to those around us. Perhaps capturing some quiet time early in the morning or late at night when everyone is in bed can be empowering and refreshing for you. Try exercising or going for a walk – it might be the best thing you did for yourself that day. Also take time for hobbies and personal interests.
- Take time with your family. When our lives get out of control, we sometimes let fun be the first thing that slips onto the back burner. Allow the people you care about to know that you care by spending time with them. Be creative and spontaneous by booking dates and taking time to play with your family. Our family has discovered that family swims are a time when the pool is not crowded and we can enjoy being together. Our local pool does not even allow non-family members to participate in this, so it truly is a family time. We laugh, enjoy each other and leave feeling energized.
- Take time with your friends. Our close friends are buffers against stress. They listen to our problems and concerns, and when we leave their presence, we feel better. It is little wonder that the company of our dearest friends relaxes and restores us. Sociologist Pat O’Connor says women who are rich in friendships enjoy better physical health, live longer, and are less prone to alcoholism, suicide and mental illness than those who are lonely and isolated.
2. Develop scheduling skills
- Determine the absolutes for your schedule. Obtain vital scheduling information as early as possible so you can determine which events are the absolutes and then build everything else around them. When I respond to last minute requests, I have little control over my schedule, as it becomes crisis management. Remember that someone else’s lack of planning does not need to become your responsibility.
- Track the schedules of others that affect your calendars.Plan ahead and ensure that you include the scheduling items of those that will affect your schedule. My husband and I meet once a week and review our calendars as well as our children’s to ensure we are aware how our family’s schedule will affect ours.
- Take time to reflect an offer before responding.Take time to reflect on requests that will require your time so you can have a more logical perspective on the implications of the commitment you have been asked to make. There have been numerous times that my taking the time to reflect before responding resulted in a new perspective that caused me to make a different decision than I would have if I had responded immediately.
Forms: /karens
