Being exactly who you’re supposed to be does not preclude reaching out to do bigger and better things; it just means that your happiness does not depend on externals. Anyone who thinks that they’ll be happy when they buy that bigger house, when they get that next promotion, when they lose fifteen more pounds, when they can keep the house spotless, or when they study a certain amount of one’s holy book of choice every day–or in Joe Smith’s case, when that silly woman learns to listen and gets his dinner on the table on time every night–is never going to get there. Because happiness is the starting point. And then all that external stuff clicks into perspective.

For example, and this is an extreme hypothetical example not related to anyone here given only to make a point, is a man who beats his wife, let’s call him Joe Smith, being who he’s supposed to be? What if he is quite content with who he is? If there is no higher standard to grasp for, imperfectly of course but heroically trying to attain, then he just “is” as he is, there is no “should” as to what or how he “should” be.

If we agree that the man should not be beating his wife, there is a higher standard to which we are holding him accountable. In that sense then, in this case if he started having negative feelings about his life or behavior, wouldn’t the feelings be accurate, and pointing him towards greater purpose for his life? Negative emotions, yes, but still able to be used for the positive purpose of improving his life?

Robin, I don’t know you, but I do know that whoever you are, it’s enough. If you want something more, go for it–but not with the idea that what you are right now isn’t enough, because nothing outside you ever changes that; you do that yourself, not by becoming anything, but by realizing who you are right now is exactly who you’re supposed to be.