Relationship Glue

Written by M. Woodard

July 9, 2014

While there are many factors that shape relationships, commitment is the glue that keeps them together. There are three components of commitment which shape relationships: Emotion, Intellect and Will. None of them can stand on their own.

Positive emotions provide the catalyst necessary for the relationship to begin and continue. Intellect points out the logic of the relationship: we have the same goals in life; we have the same values. The relationship makes sense. Will determines the strength of a relationship as it is the commitment to make it work.

A new relationship seems to depend on feelings at first, whether for good or for bad. “It feels so right to be together!” Or, “The feelings are gone.” If feelings are the only glue, the relationship will not last through the storms ahead. If intellect is the only glue, there may be times when staying together may not “make sense.” For instance, is it logical to stay with someone who has had an affair? Someone who has Alzheimer’s? Simple logic might say no. If will, or pure determination, is the only glue in the relationship then it might seem cold and unfeeling, even if you do stay together.

The three together are powerful. The will holds steady when the feelings are weak. Feelings buoy the relationship and the mind filters complex emotions.

Action: Consider how have these three factors shaped and developed your relationship? How does that impact your relationship?

King Solomon once reflected…

“A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart.”

- Ecclesiastes 4:12b

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