...I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I'll miss a whole show looking for it, though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator. ...when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call road service...

This month's article is adapted from a little something I picked up from the Internet. It provides a very comical view of dieting which will particularly appeal to those who have experienced the many challenges that children bring. This is purely for your reading enjoyment; I personally do not support dieting for anyone. Each new year brings an...

I am a chronic complainer. I grumble. I gripe. I have grievances. Sometimes my whining gets on my wife’s nerves. She says, “You should quit whining, Phil.” But I tell her, “I don’t like your tone of voice, Sweetie, it’s beginning to bother me.” I hate to admit it, but I have won the Wimbledon of Whining and the Grand Slam of Bellyaching...

I love reading road signs. Like the one welcoming you to Kettle Falls, Washington, the home of “1255 friendly people and one grouch.” In Hilt, California, a sign advises: “Brakeless trucks, use freeway.” Along Oregon’s winding coast, another warns: “Emergency stopping only. Whale watching is not an emergency. Keep driving.” I pulled...