When we’ve been used or abused with sex, it damages our view of sex, ourselves, others and God. Part of the healing process will be seeing ourselves and sex from God’s perspective. God made sex. And He made it good, pure and pleasurable. But when sex has been a source of pain and wounding, it’s impossible for us to view it from God’s perspective;...

When we let God show us how our past has hurt us, He’s able to heal our brokenness. But the first step and often the hardest is acknowledging what’s happened to us. One way to help see your own story is to write your life map.  Divide your life into four segments based on years: 0-12 yrs, 13-19 yrs, 20-30 yrs, and 30-present. As you focus...

The bonding of sex is not only physical, but also spiritual, emotional and mental which includes the chemical and hormonal bonding that happens. Although we’d like to believe that breaking up and moving on severs that bond, in truth, only God can sever the ‘one flesh’ bond He’s created through sex. 1.  Ask God to bring to mind everyone...

Because many of us feel responsible for the loss, we often don’t feel we deserve to grieve. But the truth is, we do deserve to grieve, even more, we need to grieve. In fact God grieves right along with us.  For many years I believed that God was the one who was heaping shame on me. I was certain He was disappointed with me, and no matter...

I’ve heard every possible story. In addition to hearing the stories of the women who come into our bible study for sexual healing, people email me from all over the world. Just when I think I couldn’t possibly hear anything worse, someone shares the unimaginable with me. The evil that people do to one another must break and grieve God’s heart,...

If sex is important in marriage, why does it slowly get put on the back burner? One excuse that I am sick of hearing is “I don’t have time.” I’m sure you are busy. I know I am busy. But think of all the things that you make time for. If you really wanted to have sex you would make the time. So what is stopping you? Take some time to...

Have you ever met a person who refuses to make decisions together? You might ask, “What shall we have for supper?” and the uncooperative response may be, “I don’t care.  You decide.” Or you say, “I’m thinking we might take a trip to the coast this year.  What do you think?” only to hear, “Does it really matter?  We always do...