I'm going to start with something really basic. Men want to be wanted. They don't want to be placated.  So when it comes to intimacy, we women need to step up to the plate a little bit more. You may think you're meeting his needs because you're making love a few times a week, but he won't feel loved unless you put some energy and enthusiasm into...

Whether our sexuality was stolen from us or we gave it away, we experience a loss. But unfortunately many of us don’t allow ourselves to grieve those losses. Psychologists tell us that there are five stages of grieving; denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Writing out our life map begins to move us beyond denial to truth....

When we’ve been used or abused with sex, it damages our view of sex, ourselves, others and God. Part of the healing process will be seeing ourselves and sex from God’s perspective. God made sex. And He made it good, pure and pleasurable. But when sex has been a source of pain and wounding, it’s impossible for us to view it from God’s perspective;...

When we let God show us how our past has hurt us, He’s able to heal our brokenness. But the first step and often the hardest is acknowledging what’s happened to us. One way to help see your own story is to write your life map.  Divide your life into four segments based on years: 0-12 yrs, 13-19 yrs, 20-30 yrs, and 30-present. As you focus...

Because many of us feel responsible for the loss, we often don’t feel we deserve to grieve. But the truth is, we do deserve to grieve, even more, we need to grieve. In fact God grieves right along with us.  For many years I believed that God was the one who was heaping shame on me. I was certain He was disappointed with me, and no matter...

I’ve heard every possible story. In addition to hearing the stories of the women who come into our bible study for sexual healing, people email me from all over the world. Just when I think I couldn’t possibly hear anything worse, someone shares the unimaginable with me. The evil that people do to one another must break and grieve God’s heart,...

If sex is important in marriage, why does it slowly get put on the back burner? One excuse that I am sick of hearing is “I don’t have time.” I’m sure you are busy. I know I am busy. But think of all the things that you make time for. If you really wanted to have sex you would make the time. So what is stopping you? Take some time to...