Long Distance Love

Written by Nobulungisa Mangisa

It can be very frustrating to be away from your loved one for a long period of time. Not being next to your partner can be very draining emotionally when you need a hug, kiss or even a pat on the back and they cannot give it to you.  Those little affirmations are important. Trips back and forth can prove very costly and sometimes, traveling is not even an option.

Love happens between two individuals and both need to be involved in keeping a relationship going even when distance separates you.  If you are running out of ideas on how to keep your partner enticed, here are some tips on how to keep the love-flame burning.

  • Establish what kind of relationship you are going to have with each other.
    How much contact you want to have? What form of communication will you will use? Decide whether you want to commit only to each other and how often you can see each other in a year. Who is going to do the travelling? Are you going to share the travelling costs?
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  • Keep in contact. Do not let a day slide by without communicating with each other. There are many ways in which you can do this. Texting is often the most cost effective and convenient way of keeping in touch.  You could also e-mail, call or use Skype to video chat with your loved one.
  • Pursue common interests. In order for a relationship to grow, lovers have to do things together. Even though you are not with your loved one all the time, you can still do things together. Arrange to watch the same program on television and discuss it later. Tell him about a dish that you liked and get him to try it. Read the same book.
  • Talk about the future. Bring up the plans that you have for each other. Where is the relationship headed? Will the separation be temporary? This will help to strengthen the relationship, because you both will know that you are not just wasting time but have one shared and mutual goal of where you want the relationship to go. Dream, just dream, whatever tickles your fancy, share it with your partner.
  • Give him something to remember you by. Exchange personal objects, something that is linked to you that you think your partner should have. This object could be an album, love letters, a piece of clothing, your favorite perfume.  Anything that will remind them of you can work.

What is vitally important in any relationship is to keep in contact and to communicate openly with each other. Without these two things even a local relationship will not survive. So, if you think that you really like your lover, distance shouldn’t separate you. Technology has even advanced to make things easier for you. Don’t give up on love just because your partner lives far away. If both of you are committed and dedicated to each other, it can still work.

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7 Responses to “Long Distance Love”

  • Shelley Shelley says:

    Dear Father God.
    Lord I lift up anyone who is deal with long distance travel in there marriage. I know it must be difficult to deal with at times with both spouses away from each other. I pray that You will bring them comfort. In Jesus Mighty name amen

  • sali says:

    I am from Geogia, my boyfriend is from Holland, we are living far away from each other but thank god we can keep in touch. I love him very much,hope to get chance to see him soon

  • Barbara Alpert Barbara Alpert says:

    Luby, it is nice to hear that you and your husband were able to work things out once you got back together. However, why do you feel that he would be better off sometimes without you? I do not think that “we all” think that our spouse would be better off without us. You might be struggling with a few self-esteem issues that are making you think and feel this way. God wants all of us to have healthy, happy marriages were both spouses become a compliment to one another. Is there any one certain thing that makes you feel he would be better off without you?

  • Luby says:

    My husband and I lived mostly apart for eleven years whilst he worked away, only to return for a day or so every few weeks. It posed such a strain that when he did leave the job, there was very little emotional attachment, only financial and we had one child to consider. It took quite some time to “patch up” the marriage and has been pretty good since then, but still at the back of my mind, I believe that sometimes he’d be happier without me, but don’t we all think of that? Good luck to anyone who tries it, but I think the longer it goes on for the less likely it is to work so to speak.

  • Raj says:

    I absolutely agree with the article, I am married and got two daughters, i am in relationship with one girl who got married last year and she stays in Canada, she was my neighbour earlier, suddenly we started chatting on facebook later on skype and this friendship turn into love which we realised later now we cant stay without each other and we always try to kill the distance by doing skype video calls every day….. hopefully we are going to meet each other very soon.

  • Maria says:

    I agree with the article. My relationship is one of those difficult ones! we live in different countries 6000 miles away. Distance and other differences cause misunderstandings and frustration.
    Everyday communication is very important as commitment is. I keep hoping….

  • chowdhry satish dheera says:

    i agree completely with this article….there should not be much gap between the lovers…though no distance and any sort of geographical barrier is there that can with hold the lovers apart…condition is that atleast daily there. should be communication among them.
    dheeratish chowdhry

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