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	<title>Comments on: Men and Emotional Intimacy</title>
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		<title>By: <span class='mentorBadge' title='Kate is an official Power to Change mentor.' >Kate</span> </title>
		<link>http://powertochange.com/sex-love/menintimacy/comment-page-3/#comment-720556</link>
		<dc:creator><span class='mentorBadge' title='Kate is an official Power to Change mentor.' >Kate</span> </dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 28 Feb 2012 02:07:53 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thelife.com/?page_id=5862#comment-720556</guid>
		<description>Dear miriamspia,

You are right, God has designed a married man and woman to be interdependent! Indeed, God has designed us for relationship: first of all with Him, and secondly with others. Getting our needs met by other people will always result in some kind of disappointment, because people simply are not perfect. On the other hand, trusting God to meet our needs will never disappoint! Receiving and growing in Jesus&#039; love and affection for us, as well as His tender care and attention to every need, is the key to all other healthy relationships. Once we are confident, as we should be, that God will take care of every detail that concerns us, we will be free to care selflessly for others and therein find fulfillment!

God bless,

Kate</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Dear miriamspia,</p>
<p>You are right, God has designed a married man and woman to be interdependent! Indeed, God has designed us for relationship: first of all with Him, and secondly with others. Getting our needs met by other people will always result in some kind of disappointment, because people simply are not perfect. On the other hand, trusting God to meet our needs will never disappoint! Receiving and growing in Jesus&#8217; love and affection for us, as well as His tender care and attention to every need, is the key to all other healthy relationships. Once we are confident, as we should be, that God will take care of every detail that concerns us, we will be free to care selflessly for others and therein find fulfillment!</p>
<p>God bless,</p>
<p>Kate</p>
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		<title>By: miriamspia</title>
		<link>http://powertochange.com/sex-love/menintimacy/comment-page-3/#comment-691772</link>
		<dc:creator>miriamspia</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 19 Feb 2012 16:27:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thelife.com/?page_id=5862#comment-691772</guid>
		<description>I read someone asked about women compromising about men&#039;s physical needs.  Well, personally, I&#039;m a woman who has a lot of physical needs.  I have had relationships where these were well met and others where they were not.  I have never been in a relationship where only one of us had emotional or physical needs.  So, I don&#039;t really know.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I read someone asked about women compromising about men&#8217;s physical needs.  Well, personally, I&#8217;m a woman who has a lot of physical needs.  I have had relationships where these were well met and others where they were not.  I have never been in a relationship where only one of us had emotional or physical needs.  So, I don&#8217;t really know.</p>
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		<title>By: <span class='mentorBadge' title='Brenda is an official Power to Change mentor.' >Brenda</span> </title>
		<link>http://powertochange.com/sex-love/menintimacy/comment-page-3/#comment-688531</link>
		<dc:creator><span class='mentorBadge' title='Brenda is an official Power to Change mentor.' >Brenda</span> </dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 18 Feb 2012 20:30:17 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thelife.com/?page_id=5862#comment-688531</guid>
		<description>Dana, I am sorry your experiences with men have been so negative. There are wonderful, caring men out there; and men who do not have the ability at this point to share their hearts can change with the help of God and others who are willing to reach out in love to them. I pray that you can find a way to seek help for the deep heart wounds that have led to the seeming bitterness in your heart toward the male sex. If you would like to talk to someone confidentially about your pain, please click on the link below:

http://powertochange.com/discover/talk-to-a-mentor/

God bless you, Dana.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Dana, I am sorry your experiences with men have been so negative. There are wonderful, caring men out there; and men who do not have the ability at this point to share their hearts can change with the help of God and others who are willing to reach out in love to them. I pray that you can find a way to seek help for the deep heart wounds that have led to the seeming bitterness in your heart toward the male sex. If you would like to talk to someone confidentially about your pain, please click on the link below:</p>
<p><a href="http://powertochange.com/discover/talk-to-a-mentor/" rel="nofollow">http://powertochange.com/discover/talk-to-a-mentor/</a></p>
<p>God bless you, Dana.</p>
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		<title>By: Dana</title>
		<link>http://powertochange.com/sex-love/menintimacy/comment-page-3/#comment-685541</link>
		<dc:creator>Dana</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 17 Feb 2012 22:22:41 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thelife.com/?page_id=5862#comment-685541</guid>
		<description>Isn&#039;t marriage and bed-sharing enough of a compromise for women hoping to meet the physical needs of men?  I don&#039;t see the same compromises from men in their attempt to meet the emotional needs of women.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Isn&#8217;t marriage and bed-sharing enough of a compromise for women hoping to meet the physical needs of men?  I don&#8217;t see the same compromises from men in their attempt to meet the emotional needs of women.</p>
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		<title>By: <span class='mentorBadge' title='Jamie is an official Power to Change mentor.' >Jamie</span> </title>
		<link>http://powertochange.com/sex-love/menintimacy/comment-page-3/#comment-673537</link>
		<dc:creator><span class='mentorBadge' title='Jamie is an official Power to Change mentor.' >Jamie</span> </dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 13 Feb 2012 22:41:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thelife.com/?page_id=5862#comment-673537</guid>
		<description>Hi DF, I did a little bit of searching and found a study that confirms what you said about women and men basically using the same amount of words in a day (http://homepage.psy.utexas.edu/homepage/Faculty/Pennebaker/Reprints/NewmanSexDif2007.pdf) However, that study also did confirm that while the numbers of words used may be quite similar there are some differences in the way that men and women communicate (e.g. women speak more about relational issues where as men&#039;s conversations consist more of information exchange).  The study does not hypothesize why there are these differences (i.e. nature vs. nurture) but it does acknowledge that in their study there were differences that followed gender lines.

So I think Dr Smalley is quite safe in his assessment that there are differences in the ways that men and women deal with emotions generally.  Being aware of those differences helps us to better understand one another and to interact with one another.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Hi DF, I did a little bit of searching and found a study that confirms what you said about women and men basically using the same amount of words in a day (<a href="http://homepage.psy.utexas.edu/homepage/Faculty/Pennebaker/Reprints/NewmanSexDif2007.pdf" rel="nofollow">http://homepage.psy.utexas.edu/homepage/Faculty/Pennebaker/Reprints/NewmanSexDif2007.pdf</a>) However, that study also did confirm that while the numbers of words used may be quite similar there are some differences in the way that men and women communicate (e.g. women speak more about relational issues where as men&#8217;s conversations consist more of information exchange).  The study does not hypothesize why there are these differences (i.e. nature vs. nurture) but it does acknowledge that in their study there were differences that followed gender lines.</p>
<p>So I think Dr Smalley is quite safe in his assessment that there are differences in the ways that men and women deal with emotions generally.  Being aware of those differences helps us to better understand one another and to interact with one another.</p>
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		<title>By: Jo</title>
		<link>http://powertochange.com/sex-love/menintimacy/comment-page-3/#comment-653467</link>
		<dc:creator>Jo</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 06 Feb 2012 17:59:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thelife.com/?page_id=5862#comment-653467</guid>
		<description>Male and female hormones are different.  Male and female brains develop differently and are physiologically different. It is not society that makes us different; males and females develop differently from conception.  That is not to say that men can&#039;t do this or women can&#039;t do that, but there are generalizations that we ignore to our peril. People of the opposite sex have different needs (generally), and partners have different needs (individually).  And not everyone is capable of changing or coping.  Sad but true.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Male and female hormones are different.  Male and female brains develop differently and are physiologically different. It is not society that makes us different; males and females develop differently from conception.  That is not to say that men can&#8217;t do this or women can&#8217;t do that, but there are generalizations that we ignore to our peril. People of the opposite sex have different needs (generally), and partners have different needs (individually).  And not everyone is capable of changing or coping.  Sad but true.</p>
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		<title>By: <span class='mentorBadge' title='Sharon is an official Power to Change mentor.' >Sharon</span> </title>
		<link>http://powertochange.com/sex-love/menintimacy/comment-page-3/#comment-632279</link>
		<dc:creator><span class='mentorBadge' title='Sharon is an official Power to Change mentor.' >Sharon</span> </dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 28 Jan 2012 01:03:55 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thelife.com/?page_id=5862#comment-632279</guid>
		<description>good article</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>good article</p>
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		<title>By: DF</title>
		<link>http://powertochange.com/sex-love/menintimacy/comment-page-2/#comment-630345</link>
		<dc:creator>DF</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 27 Jan 2012 06:12:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thelife.com/?page_id=5862#comment-630345</guid>
		<description>Sorry, re-iterated text:

&#039;And I have plenty of examples of other refuted believes such as the belief of a quite far past that women may not have a soul for instance, or that they have a smaller brain. They actually did have smaller brains compared to those of men and to today’s female brains, but after current research it was found that the reason why their brains weighed less it was because they were malnourished. Women were being generally fed less because of cultural believes that they were not important. These believes are still practiced today in some parts of the world.&#039;

I think faster than I type...</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Sorry, re-iterated text:</p>
<p>&#8216;And I have plenty of examples of other refuted believes such as the belief of a quite far past that women may not have a soul for instance, or that they have a smaller brain. They actually did have smaller brains compared to those of men and to today’s female brains, but after current research it was found that the reason why their brains weighed less it was because they were malnourished. Women were being generally fed less because of cultural believes that they were not important. These believes are still practiced today in some parts of the world.&#8217;</p>
<p>I think faster than I type&#8230;</p>
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		<title>By: DF</title>
		<link>http://powertochange.com/sex-love/menintimacy/comment-page-2/#comment-630338</link>
		<dc:creator>DF</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 27 Jan 2012 06:06:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thelife.com/?page_id=5862#comment-630338</guid>
		<description>Dear Rejected,

Stop talking like a politician. It does nobody no good. :)

I got lost in your text and I gave up in reading it. I actually went down and read your original post and those of women in your situation. Again I come back to saying that we live in a stereotyped world. Every human is born with equal potential to become the perfect human, however our minds are being brainwashed as soon as we start learning about morals and philosophies, and all our minds are corupted. There is no such thing as masculine brain or feminine brain or othr varaitions of this concept. These concepts are not even compatible with Christianity at all. The reason why you don&#039;t get nobody to give you advice in your situation is because of stereotyoing. If one professional like thsi one would cut the gender out of the picture and say: a man or a woman who has difficulties with emotional intimacy, and such you would identify yourself with the audience that you do now. The truth is that the masculinity and its causes has been so much discussed, debated and over emphasized in our culture, that the mass of people don&#039;t expect simple sound advice that would actually help individuals with real problems, but they expect a best seller or an article that will appeal to the masses instead. So the author will produce it to make money and become famous, or maybe not, maybe he is wrong and he doesn`t knw it but he might genuwinely wish to help people like the physicians from the past. 

I don&#039;t think you can find advice online, or on TV or Oprah, or Dr Oz. Look if you believe in God, you will most likely also believe that the best answers are achieved only through prayer. Prayer in most faith is considered as the only answer to our troubles and also wishes. And maybe some counselling may help, not online or TV, actual therapy.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Dear Rejected,</p>
<p>Stop talking like a politician. It does nobody no good. :)</p>
<p>I got lost in your text and I gave up in reading it. I actually went down and read your original post and those of women in your situation. Again I come back to saying that we live in a stereotyped world. Every human is born with equal potential to become the perfect human, however our minds are being brainwashed as soon as we start learning about morals and philosophies, and all our minds are corupted. There is no such thing as masculine brain or feminine brain or othr varaitions of this concept. These concepts are not even compatible with Christianity at all. The reason why you don&#8217;t get nobody to give you advice in your situation is because of stereotyoing. If one professional like thsi one would cut the gender out of the picture and say: a man or a woman who has difficulties with emotional intimacy, and such you would identify yourself with the audience that you do now. The truth is that the masculinity and its causes has been so much discussed, debated and over emphasized in our culture, that the mass of people don&#8217;t expect simple sound advice that would actually help individuals with real problems, but they expect a best seller or an article that will appeal to the masses instead. So the author will produce it to make money and become famous, or maybe not, maybe he is wrong and he doesn`t knw it but he might genuwinely wish to help people like the physicians from the past. </p>
<p>I don&#8217;t think you can find advice online, or on TV or Oprah, or Dr Oz. Look if you believe in God, you will most likely also believe that the best answers are achieved only through prayer. Prayer in most faith is considered as the only answer to our troubles and also wishes. And maybe some counselling may help, not online or TV, actual therapy.</p>
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		<title>By: DF</title>
		<link>http://powertochange.com/sex-love/menintimacy/comment-page-2/#comment-630309</link>
		<dc:creator>DF</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 27 Jan 2012 05:31:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thelife.com/?page_id=5862#comment-630309</guid>
		<description>Hi Claire,

Didn&#039;t mean to upset you or insult your website. It just happens that I strongly disagree with this article and I chose to challenge it. I have read others like this and also different opinions, and I also have mine and my family&#039;s experience with this problem. 

Just because a guy has a number of best sellers, his career&#039;s experience,  and has been on Oprah, doesn&#039;t really ring my bells into believing his philosophy.

So did the doctors 100 years ago believed that they could treat psychosis with freezing baths and other torturous activities, depression in women with total hysterectomy thinking that the sexual organs are the culprit to a woman&#039;s maddness thus they had to be removed, and treating all kind of diseases by bleeding the patients to death. And all these practices were at the time based on the professional experience of many generations of physicians, not just one, yet they were recently proven to be wrong practices, only after hundreds of years!

And I have plenty of other refuted believes such as the belief of a quite far past that women may not have a soul for instance, or that they have a smaller brain. They actually did have smaller brains compared to those of men and to today&#039;s female brains, but after current research it was found that the reason why their brains weighed less it was because they were malnourished. Women were being generally fed less because of cultural believes that they were not important. These believes are still practiced today in some parts of the world.

I do not beleive in the ridiculuous cult of Men are from MArs and Women from venous and all their followers. This kind of philosophy is not meant to bring the sexes together but instead to pull them more apart from eachother by creating stereotypes and reinforcing double standards. This man does not emphasize equality between sexes at all, instead he characterize men as children in need for nurturing from the women who seem to be held responsable for everything that goes wrong in this world.

We are all capable of the same emotions and we should all be able to express them equally. It has nothing to do with hormones or genetic makeup.

Each couple that is happy copes in some way with the differences between the two parties, however no relationship is perfect, you may sometimes feel unhappy, but you should feel happiness almost everyday of your couple life and feel that the person you are with is unique and there is nothing you would change about him/her and that you love this person the way he/she is. 

I think that if you pick a guy for what you think he could be with your help and only wishing he was more loving or more caring or more attentive than he is, you&#039;re no better than a guy who dates a girl thinking he can convince her to get fake boobs, lose more weight of go blonde. I think I have to love a guy the way he is already. I should not need to feel that I have to change something fundamental about him, such as romance and relationship philosophy, ambitions, the way he shows emotion, etcetera, and obviously he would feel the same about me.

Besides, we all know men go on and on about not liking when women try to change them. Why would you even want to change a guy anyway? Shouldn&#039;t you accept him the way he is? Or if you can&#039;t accept him the way he is, let him go so he can find someone who does instead? I think this is a better philosophy. Men get frustrated when women keep trying to change the way they are, women cry cuz men don&#039;t want ot change and it&#039;s a never ending cycle. Don&#039;t try to change a guy. Take him as he is, find the one who fits you perfectly, don&#039;t settle. Choosing a partner is a big deal. YOu need to be a little bit picky. 

Yet again, hit me in the head but I&#039;m a kind feminist with quite strong Christian beliefs, so, nor feminists or the church are big fans of Oprah anyways. So nobody who shows up on that show really impress me much...</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Hi Claire,</p>
<p>Didn&#8217;t mean to upset you or insult your website. It just happens that I strongly disagree with this article and I chose to challenge it. I have read others like this and also different opinions, and I also have mine and my family&#8217;s experience with this problem. </p>
<p>Just because a guy has a number of best sellers, his career&#8217;s experience,  and has been on Oprah, doesn&#8217;t really ring my bells into believing his philosophy.</p>
<p>So did the doctors 100 years ago believed that they could treat psychosis with freezing baths and other torturous activities, depression in women with total hysterectomy thinking that the sexual organs are the culprit to a woman&#8217;s maddness thus they had to be removed, and treating all kind of diseases by bleeding the patients to death. And all these practices were at the time based on the professional experience of many generations of physicians, not just one, yet they were recently proven to be wrong practices, only after hundreds of years!</p>
<p>And I have plenty of other refuted believes such as the belief of a quite far past that women may not have a soul for instance, or that they have a smaller brain. They actually did have smaller brains compared to those of men and to today&#8217;s female brains, but after current research it was found that the reason why their brains weighed less it was because they were malnourished. Women were being generally fed less because of cultural believes that they were not important. These believes are still practiced today in some parts of the world.</p>
<p>I do not beleive in the ridiculuous cult of Men are from MArs and Women from venous and all their followers. This kind of philosophy is not meant to bring the sexes together but instead to pull them more apart from eachother by creating stereotypes and reinforcing double standards. This man does not emphasize equality between sexes at all, instead he characterize men as children in need for nurturing from the women who seem to be held responsable for everything that goes wrong in this world.</p>
<p>We are all capable of the same emotions and we should all be able to express them equally. It has nothing to do with hormones or genetic makeup.</p>
<p>Each couple that is happy copes in some way with the differences between the two parties, however no relationship is perfect, you may sometimes feel unhappy, but you should feel happiness almost everyday of your couple life and feel that the person you are with is unique and there is nothing you would change about him/her and that you love this person the way he/she is. </p>
<p>I think that if you pick a guy for what you think he could be with your help and only wishing he was more loving or more caring or more attentive than he is, you&#8217;re no better than a guy who dates a girl thinking he can convince her to get fake boobs, lose more weight of go blonde. I think I have to love a guy the way he is already. I should not need to feel that I have to change something fundamental about him, such as romance and relationship philosophy, ambitions, the way he shows emotion, etcetera, and obviously he would feel the same about me.</p>
<p>Besides, we all know men go on and on about not liking when women try to change them. Why would you even want to change a guy anyway? Shouldn&#8217;t you accept him the way he is? Or if you can&#8217;t accept him the way he is, let him go so he can find someone who does instead? I think this is a better philosophy. Men get frustrated when women keep trying to change the way they are, women cry cuz men don&#8217;t want ot change and it&#8217;s a never ending cycle. Don&#8217;t try to change a guy. Take him as he is, find the one who fits you perfectly, don&#8217;t settle. Choosing a partner is a big deal. YOu need to be a little bit picky. </p>
<p>Yet again, hit me in the head but I&#8217;m a kind feminist with quite strong Christian beliefs, so, nor feminists or the church are big fans of Oprah anyways. So nobody who shows up on that show really impress me much&#8230;</p>
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