What Men Want in a Relationship
How’s your love life? If you have questions and you’re not sure who to ask, talk to a mentor.
I have discovered a stark contrast between what each sex thinks the opposite sex wants from them, and what the opposite sex really does want.
What women think men want from them causes women to have resentment and anger toward men, and feel hopeless about ever developing a wonderful, warm, romantic partnership. What men think women want from them causes them much of the same feelings and frustration.
The sad part is that it does not have to be this way, if only we would realize that both men and women are human beings first and pretty much want the same thing. But, you don’t have to take my word for this.
I asked a number of men and women who are actively involved in personal growth and development what they want from a partner in order to build a great relationship. You will find their answers unexpected. Discover what men said they want from women as contrasted with what women think men want. You’ll also find tips for women to give men what they want, attract a great man, and create a wonderful relationship.
1. Men want honest, timely, loving communication.
Crave intimacy?
Has love betrayed you? In this video Erwin McManus explores why love is often so painful, and why it’s so important to continue searching and not give up.
Honest communication is top priority for men. They want a woman who answers questions honestly, and perhaps even volunteers information. They want a woman who confidently asks for her wants and needs to be met. They want a woman who can see the truth and tell it like it is while communicating with kindness. Men want a woman who can communicate without being too critical, who cares about preserving his and her dignity.
Women think men want them to be superficial, to keep quiet about their needs or wants, and never to ask for anything. Women think men believe them to be too needy and too sensitive, and that men simply want women to get over it. Some women believe they do not have the permission to tell it like it is, that they will be rejected for speaking up.
A tip for women
Great men want and need straightforward, courageous communication without anger or criticism. One way to attract a great man and build a satisfying relationship is to learn how to communicate your truth and needs effectively.
2. Men want self-sufficient, secure, confident women.
Men want a woman to choose them out of want rather than out of desperation — either materially or emotionally. Men need to be wanted and needed by their partners, but they want their partners to have a separate identity. Men want a woman to be active and independent, to have her own friends and interests.
On the other hand, men treasure time spent with a loving partner.
Women think men don’t want women to need them. Women think men do not need or appreciate time spent together as a couple. Women believe that showing a man he is needed will turn him off and
possibly make him run away.
A tip for women
Men want what women want — a whole partner. One powerful way to attract a great man and build a vibrant relationship is to create a full, rewarding life for your own fulfillment.
3. Men want a manipulation-free relationship.
Men want no manipulation of any kind. They do not want to read their partner’s mind or try to interpret signals. They do not want to be forced to move faster in a relationship than they are ready. They do not want to be manipulated into taking all the blame for things gone wrong. They do not want to be on the receiving end of game playing.
Women think men want little or no communication, and the only way to get needs met is through manipulation. Women think men either need or want to be reminded that the relationship needs to move forward. Women think men don’t want or value praise and acknowledgment, and so tend to only verbalize criticism.
A tip for women
Men will not tolerate manipulation of any kind for any significant length of time. To attract a great man and build a wonderful relationship learn to ask without hesitation for what you want and need in every area of your life. Learn to be aware of his timing and his time-line. Learn how to acknowledge and bestow praise.
4. Men want growth, personal responsibility, and ownership.
Men want a partner who can laugh at herself and who has courage and strength. They want a woman who can see her part in relationship dynamics and own it. She has to be emotionally stable. Men want a woman who is developing herself personally, and who takes responsibility for her emotional experience.
Women think men only want to have a good time. Women think men have no interest in developing and growing a relationship or developing and growing themselves. Women think men want women who are super models, and that they never consider whether a
woman is emotionally mature, kind, supportive, or loving.
A tip for women
Men want women who are emotionally mature. Maturity does not mean lack of emotions. It does mean the ability to handle emotions responsibly. To attract a great man and build a long-term relationship, learn to take responsibility for your emotional experience and expression.
5. Men want fidelity and a commitment to the relationship.
Fidelity is an absolute must. In fact, men want a woman who does not have a “roaming eye” and who can wholeheartedly commit to the relationship. Many may define commitment as fidelity plus the willingness to work on the relationship — even when the going gets tough.
Women think that all men want is sex, and that men will leave a relationship for the next prettier face. Women think men cannot be trusted to be faithful. Women believe men do not want to work on a relationship; that when the going gets tough, they run.
A tip for women
Here is great news for those women who are resigned to the myth that all men cheat: infidelity and “a roaming eye” are as distasteful to men as they are to women. Great men know how to build a wonderful relationship, and they know fidelity is the main ingredient.
6. Men want women who know how men need to be treated.
Many women treat men in ways that diminish their egos, making them feel inadequate. Men would rather have more praise, more acknowledgment of what they do right, more acknowledgment that they are great guys who are loved and appreciated.
Women think men do not need them, do not value their opinion, their support, their praise. Women also think men do not care about many things important to women, which is why they criticize. Criticism is a way to verbalize resentment.
A tip for women
Most men want acknowledgment and appreciation from women. Learning to acknowledge instead of making your partner wrong is one of the most powerful relationship survival tools available to you.
So, how’s your love life? Do you need to talk? Either contact us privately by filling out this form and one of our mentors will contact you or make a comment about this article below the form.
Tanya. A compatible relationship.
Congrats, finally a post where someone isn’t trying to fit a round peg into a square hole.
Jenna, oh gosh. BIG BLAH!!!
So he lost his job in January (How many years did he support you before then, and damn Woman… it’s only September.). and BLAH BLAH BLAH.
Yes, I’ve been trolling. But this is the most rediculous trash I’ve heard.
Is this a support group? If so as a man, or real woman… you just spit in our faces.
Bryce Johansen… Agreed 80%..
The urges part is the 20%
Sorry Gaynor, but I read again.
“Put 2+2 together. Why does a man fall in love with this? I have lived & worked in many different countries & have a good insight to different cultures. I have seen the young girls give to an American Man & be sincere, honest, etc; At then end of the day once they get that visa to live in the USA it is bye bye. Explain how a man who is intelligent & knows this happens become a victim of the inevitable outcome?”
He’s sick, you’re sick. You lay it our. She will be a WOMAN until she moves to North America. Then she will change and “bye bye” as you say.
It was created this way. North America.. marry a man, divorce, and then walk with a meal ticket.
Don’t be so bitter. Blame your peers.
Bella,
I read one paragraph. You have a son. Single mother. I have a child too.
All that will ever matter is your SON. If a MAN cannot accept that… (or for any single parent)…. walk.
We brought children into this world. Once you do that you have a commitment. There is no ME. (Harsh, and yes there are certain exceptions, BUT….. CHILD>PARENT)
Josi.. atta girl!
It’s tough for both sides but we keep at it! :)
“I think it’s time for a new generation of Mothers & Fathers to teach their sons to be respectful to women. Teach their daughters not to accept anything less. But here we are stuck in all the old previous generations. Not far removed from the Cave Men really, just more sophisticated. Pull the emotions, but not the hair. ”
Sorry.. “MAN mistake” Ie: misquote.
Men have always had more respect for a Woman that has ever been reciprocatged.
When a man has his genitalia cut off its a funny joke a media circus.
Is that respect for the opposite gender?
And as I walk from the parlor I still open a door for a lady.
Gaynor.
Get over it. He MAY have loved you but he doesn’t now.
Why do women need a reason? Done is done.
“I think it’s time for a new generation of Mothers & Fathers to teach their sons to be respectful to women. Teach their daughters not to accept anything less. But here we are stuck in all the old previous generations. Not far removed from the Cave Men really, just more sophisticated. Pull the emotions, but not the hair. ”
You and YOUR GENERATION are confused. Women took the so called power from men, turned as into lady boys. So when you ask for a real MAN to stand up, well guess what.. you get what you created.
Girls/Women… sort your emotions out. Think long and hard before you demand something, and then be happy for what you get.
A real man values his wowman, and his family. We have since the start of time.
We made the rules as men, and you bent them. How does it feel playing a game when the rules change every hand?
oleander. Well said, and it only took a paragraph. Good man.
For the rest… Read the article and then read the comments. If you want to tell your life story of how you’re so perfect and blah blah blah so someone feels compassion for you…cmon. Two to tango.
Men built this world. Refute that with one thousand paragraphs and you’re female emotions.
And you’ll still be wrong.
Give a man his credit. It’s due.
April.
You talk too much. It bores a MAN.
You’re “happy”. Congrats.
Give it 5 years, you’ll redefine.
MEN appreciate, and unfortunately, well… like any market, women depreciate.
When I read the article I had a tear in my eye as a MAN. And then, I started to read the comments…
Women and metrosexuals.
You’re all lost, when a real Man is trying to find his way in an estrogen laced world.
Fare well children and family.
I cant dissagree/ agree, trust men hard to predict what into his mind, but how about if the guy I met too sensitive?
trying to understand him from my heart and mind..wish could read his brain..what inside, and no secret keep for us…
rest my case
Hi Micheal,
That doesnt mean am not serious with him, I was thinking just not that right time to discuss. Might in another time..
I dont intend him to accept my son anyway…and I know I dated bachelor guy , it might hard for him to accept..I want him as he is..
Great job Mr. Author. Psychologically speaking, this article is soo very true, addressing wht men deep down really wnts. Bt sadly, most women doesnt undstnd/ cnt see it. I strongly believe if a woman undstnd his man and treat him well, he will love her dearly.
I have read all the comments / advise / agree / disagree. But why do women grieve for a fractured relationship?
I know I have rejected. Told by an ex-spouse he does not love me anymore after 25 years of marriage. I know he took control over all our divorce arrangements & it took him 4 years after we separated to go thru the motions, paperwork, to finally go before the judge at the court house & file the final decree.
The ink was not even dry on the decree & then he bounced off into a relationship with a young girl. He had prostate cancer, he is impotent. This young girl lives in Asia, she has no job, they have very little time together. It’s a long distance relationship.
Put 2+2 together. Why does a man fall in love with this? I have lived & worked in many different countries & have a good insight to different cultures. I have seen the young girls give to an American Man & be sincere, honest, etc; At then end of the day once they get that visa to live in the USA it is bye bye. Explain how a man who is intelligent & knows this happens become a victim of the inevitable outcome?
Also, why should I care? At times I say to myself, stop trying to understand it. Let it be. Ignore his actions & move forward. The new door is there waiting for me to open it.
I am slowly opening it. I do everything suggested to move on. But My grief will not go away. I lost a person whom I felt was a soul mate.
Also, his family has become so involved in this divorce. Especially his parents. Both are elderly, I am an RN & have nursed them thru serious illness. They have 4 kids, none who live near & gave minimal support.
None of it makes sense. Many years ago I was involved in a physical abusive relationship. Emotional abuse is much harder to deal with. The scars are inside. Why do men think they have the right & control to abuse in any way what so ever? Then sit back & deny all blame.
I think it’s time for a new generation of Mothers & Fathers to teach their sons to be respectful to women. Teach their daughters not to accept anything less. But here we are stuck in all the old previous generations. Not far removed from the Cave Men really, just more sophisticated. Pull the emotions, but not the hair.
When he asked for the divorce I moved out of our home. We talked many long hours & made the agreement to honor a friendship. Now he has cut off all comms with me. None of it makes sense.
I thought this was a great article. Very clear and communicated in a simple way for women. I appreciated that. Thanks for the insights. Sometimes I feel like I have to convert my communication into a foreign language when relating to a guy if I want it to be effective. I feel like I’m stumbling a bit but when I get it right it does work. I find I get the response I want when I communicate in a way that a guy understands. He always recipricates, so that tells me there is much there that I haven’t discovered yet how to unlock but I’ll keep working at it. It does work to stay positive and appreciative rather than pointing out a wrong. Men are good equalizers – they are very good at mirroring.
Bella – if you afraid to ask a frank and pertinent question like that then you might not be ready for a serious relationship. You can’t make someone accept something they don’t want to.
Good luck
Honestly, this article its really interesting and wonder me, if you could give a words to share, am single parent with 11yrs old boy, somehow I met guy and we really loves each other, the facts is..I unsure if he could accept my son, we just came back from holiday vacation, I do not want to ruin the holiday by asking could u accept my son? since he is kind serious man when talking to me about what he want, he would love to have his own family and have a kid someday,
I just scared to tell him,but how about if he dont? I dont want to lose him..
any idea to make him accept my son?
womens they are not interested on how much their husband show respect to them, but they need enjoyment when they are in love.
womens they are not interest on how much their husband show respect to them, but they need enjoyment when they are in love.
I think the solution is as corny as this sounds but just “being yourself and loving yourself first and full most”. If you place the problem on the opposite sex (Male or Female) then your shifting your own problem (by your own perpective of the situation) onto that sex, which isn’t fair on ever side.
No one should have to do anything different than what we do in our normal lives as individuals (Regardless of our urges), I mean humans have attracted and mated with the opposite sex and had relationships for thousards upon thousards of years so there is very little need to be anything than be ourselves (You’ll see your truth value then and there and understand that it’s much more than any effort of being different) and if that’s not good enough for you partner than what was the point of having them for a partner to begin with?
I have just read the above article… and here is how my relationship is with the man of my life…
Our current circumstances:
My man left his job in January this year and has not found a job since… so I have all the responsibility on my shoulders… and not once during the first 7months did I moan to him or say anything about it… until I one day went to buy a job mail for him to go through and it stayed in the same position as that which I put it down in (without even been opened) for a week and I flipped because every day I spend about 1hour to 2hours posting his CV and looking for jobs for him (as requested by him)… then a friend offered him a job and he turned it down (without even telling me or the person who offered him the job) because it is in the same building that I work in and that is all he would say about it when I confronted him. I then three weeks ago when I was booked off by the doctor sat him down and spoke to him and explained my side to him… I asked him nicely to please this month go out and look if you can find a job.. go to personal agencies, etc. Still he is at home and has not left the house once to try.. and he has the ordacity to ask me on the weekend what is wrong why am I so quite and offish.. and where he use to in the beginning keep our 8m x 8m open plan flat tidy and clean the first two months it has become a $&%^hole and when he does the washing after I have asked him twice he brings it in and just plunks it all on the couch and that is where it stays until I fold it up and iron it… He cannot even fold them when he brings it is so that it is easier to iron!!! So after 8 months of been patient and supportive and understanding I have blown my lid and just cannot accept this anymore!!
I am the last person who will ever point out a man’s negative points as it is my point of view not his.. I do and will compliment him whenever he does something I am proud of or out the “manly duties list” like if he cleans up at home, does the dishes makes supper or does the washing. I praise him and kiss him and thank him and will even buy him something special (finances permitting)… he loves computers and games so I support him as much as I can in regards to that, I do not go off that he is playing games 80% of the time or busy on the computer 95% of the time as that is how and who he is.
It takes a lot for me to get to a point where I bite off your head if I have a problem I will be straight forward about it in a kind and gentle manner… however if I have said the same thing 7 times and you have just shrug it off and then still turn around to ask me the same question… I explode and have a moment. Men do not want to hear something they cannot fix or find a solution to.
Regarding emotions… Men do not want to hear it because they do not know what to do or how to fix it. If my man asks me what is wrong and I tell him he looks at me and says “what can I do to fix it” and if I honestly tell him there isn’t anything he can do then he get all fussed up and asks why did I even tell him then.
When I want to have sex he is either busy watching something on the computer or playing a game… but when he wants it (which is like once a month) I have to just go OK… so please do not tell me that if you are caring, supportive, understanding and all that with a man he is yours and will give you the world… if anything they take it and ride the hell out of that cow!!! And you get the WTF look if you as a woman say something or point out something…
so for a woman who pays for the rent, buys the food, pays all the other bills, and still make a plan if I do not have money left to get to work… I mean I pay everyting and make sure there is enough to eat for the month and I only earn R6000.00 a month!!!! I think men do not want to work, provide or have any responsability.. they want to go from MOM’s care into a womans care who lets them do as they please and not be held accountable….
I found the article to be insightful and true. I was dating a guy for a couple of months and he was nice but somewhat secretive. That being said, he was saying things to me that the article mentioned. One thing I find to be key in a relationship is communication, clear communication. I believe it is very important how we communicate what we need to say. Also in this digital age very little needs to be said over the phone or text message because with this guy we had a hard time communicating what seemed to be the simplest of things. Also, you really want to take your time and get to know the person before becoming physically involved because for me that just elevates my emotions, as if I need any help in that department. But I think guys need to understand women on the level we exist. They should know that women like to be physical just like they do and for many women it is just as important as it is for the man. I don’t like it when that is the first thing we talk about because there can be plenty of time for that. I do not want to start a new relationship off on a sexual high only to find out that we are not really that compatible for each other and then I am left with feelings, this has happened all too many times. I think above all men and women both need to be considerate of the feelings of the other. Since we already seem to know what makes the other tick why not try being sensitive to their needs.
The world system for man and woman has failed.
The Lady at the top is right.
God who created us also knows us better than anyone else.
If you can come from being created then this falls into place.
First submit to each other.
Then men love your wife and wifes respect your man.
The bible also shows us that men to love their woman like thir own body.
So wifes when was the last time you loved his butt. Like what you see. And told him so.
I am a kind, gentle,caring witha desire for sex close to every day.
Now when both want it, it is great stuff.
Women who reject men in their bed are asking for trouble.
Men who don’t enjoy her presents are asking for trouble.
Did’t the bible say forgive each other.
No one is perfect, we are being perfected.
A saying that is strong, Get a life, get a grip, get over it.
My take on this article is the men interviewed were ready for relationships, or it was women posing as men, or gay. If the majority of men actually thought this way, there would be far less divorce rates, and women would not be choosing single life.
I am not an average woman, by any means, I do not manipulate and have never understood women that do and if a woman feels like they have to manipulate to get what they want – the relationship is not meant to be. I refuse to play games. I need my own life and I want my man to have his too, so we will have fresh things to talk about. What on earth do you talk about when you are together all the time? But, for this to work both people have to be committed and continue to grow as individuals, while growing as a couple. This takes balance. And, balance is the key to everything, but how many people are truly balanced? The more fun we have with our friends – the more we want to be with them, the more fun we have with our partners – the more we want to be with them. When everything goes south is when you find who has your back, and that is who we want to be with. When the chips are down we all want the person beside us who has our best interest, and mental state, at heart.
Most people don’t want games, but most of us will take part in the game at some point, because we try to make something work that isn’t meant to be, because of chemistry. Chemistry is very misleading, because it fades. I have a guy that I am soooo attracted to, but I KNOW he is not right for me. He wants to jump into the sack, and I refuse. This is a difficult stance, because man, is he hot!! But, mentally and emotionally, this is not in my best interests. Some women would jump in the sack, have expectations, and waste time trying to make him change his mind, or commit, when he plainly states he just wants sex. Why would anyone want to go there? I know I would be setting myself up for heartbreak, and personally, I would rather go without sex with a hot guy, than deal with the aftermath. I want someone to shake my world (and, me shake his), but I want that someone to be around for a long time, not just for a moment.
Women used to have to rely on men to support them, now we don’t. We don’t want a bitch, we want a companion. Someone to share our lives with, someone that we can love and nurture, and still be ourselves. And, we want a man to be committed to us and only us. This is where some men go wrong. They may be committed and come home to us, but they seem to be able to separate sex and commitment, where women have a difficult time. For a lot of men, sex is physical and commitment is emotional. They may have “emotional” sex with their partners, but have “physical” sex with anyone. This is why you often hear “they didn’t mean anything to me it was just sex, I love you”. Believe it or not, women deal with this everyday, but when the shoe is on the other foot it is earth shattering. Men are not the only ones with egos. I once heard a statement that every relationship ends where the other one left off, and it is true, because we unknowingly pick up baggage along the way and carry it into our new relationships. We all should learn, but should treat each relationship as new, because it is new and if it is worthy enough to start, it is worthy enough to start anew.
I have learned I don’t need a man to make me happy, but I need to be happy with myself BEFORE I bring a man into my life. We first have to be honest with ourselves about who we are and what we want, before we can be good to anyone else. Love the way you want to be loved, and forgive the way you want to be forgiven. Only once you know who you are, can you appreciate another for who they are.
As a woman, I think that when you meet a man at the same level of intelligence, you can communicate much better, when you develop a friendship first, it helps both understand each other better. I think respect & trust are of utmost importance. As your friendship grows you understand each other, when to say things, if it is even necessary to say something. Where there’s trust & respect so many trivial issues never come up. I also believe that you both need to have common goals & be supportive of each other, that’s love.
Ok, so after reading the article AND the comments, I still don’t have a clear understanding on what men want in a relationship. All I know now is that each man is different from the next (Programmed more or less the same), but with different needs and different wants depending on their own values of what a relationship should be. Hmmm, can’t say this article was worth reading….or even the comments, I’m still just as confused! Ugh!!!!
BTW, The reason I was reading this article in the first place is b/c my “man” can talk the talk very well but has a problem walking the walk which is quite aggrevating to say the least. I believe he tells me what he thinks I want to hear so there will be no “discussion” or “differences of opinion” that he has to worry about!
Anyway, good luck everybody on your relationships! Hope you all find the happiness with your mates that WE ALL clearly want.
Man,
I do not agree with what you said to Zessie.
Have you considered that the guy is causing the problem? I mean from what she has said I think It’s true. He is pushing her away, for whatever reason… maybe you are right and it is that there is not much communication, but sometimes you as a guy have to make the first step. Letting her know she CAN talk to you is actually a good option.
Also to someone who is introverted or just shy communicating can be difficult. Trust me I would know. But It doesn’t help that you sorta misunderstood her last comment.
Placing her next to his parents, friends and sport is not on. In other words he is blowing her off and she doesn’t like it. Nor does she know how he will react to that. When situations like these come up it usually means that you REALLY like the person you are seeing and usually work yourself into a panic over what the will think.
~Kathryn
Okay, so… What this person has said about women is not strictly true! I mean ‘Women think men want them to be superficial, to keep quiet about their needs or wants, and never to ask for anything.’ that isn’t turue. My boyfriend and me talk about what we want as a couple, as two people and as two friends. I hide nothing from him and (I’m sure) he hides nothing from me.
I have once been in a relationship and the guy cheated on me, so I do not believe that women in general should not be blamed for a roaming eye. In point 5 women can HARDLY be blammed. I mean, I KNOW that not all women are loyal and one of my friends was cheated on by a girl.
Also men can do EVERYTHING that women are accused of in this article, and I’m not saying that ALL us girls are innocent but I AM saying that most of the points that this person wrote about apply to men aswell. We WANT to communicate with you, we WANT to be able to just talk. I am SOOOO lucky to have found my boyfriend, he understands the need to sit and discuss, to LISTEN and ACT!!!
One more thing:
I am a woman!!! And I can tell you that I do NOT think like that… at ALL!!!
Zessie,
You expressed fear in communicating with your partner. I think that is your issue; not his. If he’s a good guy, he’ll listen and try to relate to how you’re feeling. As for his taking you with is family, I would think that is a positive thing.
I thought this thread was about what a man wants; not personal experiences of things gone wrong aha. If my girlfriend provides me with basic communication and treats me well, I give her the same. In fact, sometimes she can be a real b****, but I love her and sometime when someone is feeling like crap is the time they need you the most.
Sometimes we need to ask ourselves what we can do for them; not just what they should be doing for us. Also, people need understanding and compassion so they can overcome things that are creating problems in the relationship. But I love my gf for who she is, not her potential, so I’m willing to accept some bs sometimes.
Probably my last post on this issue :)
There are a lot of disrespectful men about but I also know women who treat men like crap.
From my experience it’s not ‘men’ who need to change it’s attitude. If you keep choosing men who have no respect then what do you expect? There is a term for this and it’s co-dependancy. I used to be co-dependant, keep choosing men for the wrong reasons, maybe because he was really good looking and had charm but nothing else that made him relationship material.
I’m currently with a guy, we both don’t want kids yet, we both like our own space, we both like sex and I don’t manipulate him by not giving him sex. We are both happy.
I don’t take rubbish from men and don’t expect a man to take it from me.
Choose the right man or if you have chosen the wrong one and he refuses to work on things then leave. Don’t become a victim and moan about it. At the end of the day relationships are CHOICE. You choose to be in a relationship with a particular person and you CHOOSE to stay. It’s not a gender thing to lack respect. Yes there are horrible men out there and men have ways about them that women don’t like but not all men are selfish they let their ways come between you. If you chose a selfish man and chose to stay with him then you only have youself to blame.
neecy, I was like that. Don’t say anything until it builds up – lash out in anger when holding it in doesn’t work – then don’t say anything because of feeling stupid for not saying anything earlier. Repeat as necessary…..
I agree with Cathy. What do you do when a man does not communicate and does not know how. It is very frustrating when we need to communicate about our relationship and he does not respond at all. He wants to sweep all problems under the rug and not talk about them or solve them. I’m divorced and now in a dating relationship. I learned from my mistakes of the past and feel that there has to be honest communication between two people. If he holds it all in, how am i ever going to know how he feels about anything. i cant read his mind.
Paulito, your not doing yourself any favors. That list is for the foolish man who falls for the woman Folly (Prov 9: 13-18)
Oh, and not a pyscho as number 4
Men want 3 things simple
1. A woman who has her money and shares it
2. Is good looking and not fat
3. Is not hard work
Simple….any man disagrees with that is lying
Man,
As yoy said in ur last post, is opening up our mind n revealing of wat v feel of being lacked from his side though its not by 100% sure from his side????
Wat i fear is, if i tell him of wat i’m feelong within he may take me wrong thinking that i didn’t take him correctly.. or shall consider my things positiovely???
is speaking out of lack of attention from his side by placing me next to his parents, friends n sports, worthy to be said openly by revealing conflicting thoughts in my mind????
Well man, I can’t say I don’t agree with you. It gets frustrating with my wife because I am a guy who wants complete honesty right now – she’s a women that wants to sit on it for a couple of days to *think* about. Drives me crazy!!!!
BUT, its part of our history. I grew up feeling abandoned so I don’t like to wait for things, I need to know now so there is no surprises. She grew up in situation where the best thing she could do was to keep quiet and fade into the background. Old habits are hard to break….
Michael,
You weren’t completely wrong :) I think we all have had relationships in the past that didn’t work out for one reason or another. However, in general, I think one of the biggest problems I’ve had with most women is direct communication without any bs. It seems they feel if they say the wrong thing they’ll lose you as a potential partner. But I always think if you want to find the right person, you have to be willing to be honest and open or the whole thing is based on a false narrative.
I appreciate your observation; but part of it is just the nature of my personality :)
Respectfully,
Man
I guess I’m part of the problem, because to me the article was way off base. Either that, or I’m not a real woman: I don’t think what women think, and I don’t want what women want.
Man, although you message contains comes excellent points, your underlying feeling seems to be one of bitterness from a previous experience that hurt you deeply. I lived with an alcoholic women for 5 yrs – so I know how an experience can harm a man’s psyche but forgave her and only wish her peace and blessings. I hope you can too.
If I am way off, I apologize. Its just the underlying message I am getting from your comment.
Signed
Another Man
The article was accurate; anybody that disagrees with it is part of the problem. A good man doesn’t have time to deal with a woman’s past experience, and he doesn’t deserve it. Either communicate with us directly and not treat us like a fish, or find a man that wants to play those games. A man wants a woman who can be his friend; it should’ve be overly complicated. As for women being emotionally stronger..ahaha…yeah, I don’t like sweeping generalizations; depends on the person.
I found the article pretty interesting.. N i do want best suggestion from u ppl here.. I have been recently commited.. i felt very pleasant n happy for my love life.. lost in world n into his tots only till recent bt now was into some worries dat is my man avoiding me.. i feel like spending time wid him n to be in his company all the time so i always lie at home saying extra classes n stuff.. bt on the other hand he always gives importance first to his familyn then to me.. ofcourse one should value his family first who has been wid him all through since his birth.. bt wat worries me is, he never asks for an outing together wen all friends of mine who are in love do frequent going out togethr n spending time.. i’m feelin as i’m being neglected n of no importance in his life.. and always it would be he who points out time n reminds me of leaving which hurts me a lot.. i was unable to tell him of wat all i’m feeling for him now.. never i open up my mind to him.. reading this article i felt its ofcourse my fault of not being open to him n expecting him to know of my state of being is not dat thing which to be expected from a girl.. he do text me caringly bt due to my situation presently i’m feeling dat tos words are just faling from his lips rather than from his heart.. i fear my relation is going to be swayed..
i do love him dearly bt few tiny worries inside fighting for the answers to be found, are making me sleepless.. how can i get out of this.. i want to be just as before with him.. pls do suggest of wat to be done to clear off my nonsensual tots within.. how shud i put forward of wat i’m feeling like lacking from him..
do help me get out of this by ur advice..
Men are emotionally weak and physically strong and women are physically weak and emotionally strong. These are tendencies that are peculiar to the respective sexes.The best way to weed out the type of person you dont want is to really do two things: 1) let a person be who they are without you telling them what you want in a person then you will know whther they are for you or not and 2)know what you are looking for and behave accordingly so that you are relaxed enough be open the experiences that come your way and your eyes are open enough for you to exercise the necessary caution.
I believe in trusting onesself. We know more than we think.
About the article: I believe it is talking about characteristics possessed by some men some of the time but I am not sure these are characteristics of men all the time.
The article is not bad, just seems from within a narrow viewpoint of the writer. He apparently doesn’t know that men can be very manipulative and game-playing also (No denying there are women like this too…but its not accurate to imply for the most part men aren’t like this…they certainly can be).
Many women want straight forward communication with no role-playing or manipulative behavior.
Too bad there is such a willingness to put men and women in specific categories of behavior choices.
Michael I tend to agree with you.
The problem is….we are generlizing too much. men who don’t respect women, don’t usually respect themselves or other men. and I say the same goes for women.
I have seen men, woman and children be disrespectful. So this definatley is not a sole right of men.
I will pray we all receive clarity on this and the ability to be the one who sets the example. Remember we must treats others as we want to be treated.
It’s easy to be nice and respectful to someone who is nice and respectful to us. But what an accomplishment to be nice and respectful to someone who is not.
Be the example. I too will pray.
“Men need Respect but don’t show us any” – sorry, but that sounds like an excuse to justify judgmental behaviour. I absolutely respect women – including my wife, daughter-in-law, granddaughter, mother, grandmothers, co-workers, and fellow church goers. I know lots of men that fall into this category as well.
I’m betting that if you look at your own plank, you might find that you drive these kind of men away and bring only those who fall into your pessimistic category into your life. I will pray for you….
am on the track thank you
One writer says Respect for the man in your life, but respect has to be mutual and it has to work both ways.
There are some things that women will never forgive a man for. Sometimes seriously hurtful words. Said at the worst time.
Those hurtful words can cut like a knife and there is no way a women can get them out of her mind and heart. You loose all the conection you once had it can’t be taken back once it’s been said. Men forget that. Yes, you can forgive but forgetting is not going to happen.
And I think it hurts more than anything in a relationship it damages all that you work for over years.
There is no repair for it for feeling like this. Yet, you just hold on and say why does it have to be this way?
I sooo disagree with jeff,
Respect. Respect is something men have a hard time understanding, because Love is something they say but cannot always show. Men need Respect but don’t show us any. It is even stated in the bible. Husbands are to love their wives, as wives are to respect their husbands. True but husbands don’t always do so. “I promise you if you respect your man he will be very loving.” Thats crap. I respect mine and he is not very loving. All the rest will come easy. Crap. Women need face to face time with talking, yes. Men need shoulder to shoulder time with silence, bull. He will open up so much more if you just let him speak, no he does not, he speaks to his friend. Spend some time next to him when he is fixing a car, or just relaxing. Don’t talk. It is empowering if a man believes his women just likes to be in his presence and is content. Bull. Action speaks louder than words, why do men make promises they can’t or won’t keep? Sometimes silence is the best way to let him know your happy with him, which is all he wants. So if I feel somethings wrong because of his actions, I shouldn’t speak on it?