Comments on: What Men Want in a Relationship

By: Claire Colvin

Sat, 11 Feb 2012 00:14:40 +0000

Sarah,

There’s an old saying that says, “Love is grand, but you can’t eat it.” Love can make a lot of unbearable things better, but love without trust, or love without honesty is hard, hard road to walk. Is it realistic for a couple that has cheated on each other to get married? It depends on whether or not you’ve had the time and space to work through that infidelity. Did the behaviour change? Have you put safeguards in place to ensure that it doesn’t happen again?

You asked about trust, I think it’s logical and healthy that you’d have trouble trusting someone who lied to you. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a deal breaker, but whether it is or not depends on if the person has continued to lie and whether or not they’ve proven themselves to be trustworthy now. Can you marry someone who can’t support you financially? Yes, provided that you are willing to support HIM financially.

You describe your boyfriend as immature, childish and sometimes petty, a person who has lied to you and cheated on you. That’s not a very glowing report. Why would you want to marry someone like that? What are his good qualities? It’s a bad idea to marry someone just because you’ve been together a long time. That’s not a good enough reason. I know how scary it is to even think about starting back at the very beginning of love but trust me, dating is so much easier than being in a bad marriage.

If your heart is set on marrying this guy I urge you to get some solid pre-martial counselling before you walk down the aisle. Counselling will give you a chance to have the hard conversations that are going to be necessary if this relationship is going to have a chance. Ask yourself why you want to marry him if he sounds like such a bad idea to you. Was it something someone said? Do you have a child together? Is the only man who has loved you up to this point in your life? They’re hard questions I know, but they hurt a lot less, a whole lot less, than a divorce a few years down the road. Listen to your heart, but listen to your gut first. Often times it’s giving you really good information.

By: sarah

sarah — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 17:18:10 +0000

Hi, I need advise… 1st is it realistic for a 6yr couple to get married after cheating on each other.2nd is it wrong to have trust issues when a person lie about their past to impress you. 3. Is it a no brained to NOT MARRY someone who can’t financially support your family at the momment? Should u wait until things get better or is LOVE enough?oh and last but not least I’m 25 my boyfriend is 28 I think he is immature and childish,sometimes petty, will there be better days or is he stuck in his ways??????

By: John D

John D — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 05:58:00 +0000

I totally agree with this. I actually just want appreciation from a woman.
I feel so depressed before, but when I read this I felt better.
I cannot blame women why they demand so many things, I know that in the future they will be the one who will suffer the pain of bearing a child.
They will be the one who will make your dinner at night (I guess), or pack you a lunch or make you a breakfast.
Yes, I know those. But we also do something, We work, We make sure that everything is secure, We think of the future, We lead the family and We stay at your side at your side through heaven or hell; better or worse.
We maybe a jerk or an [expletive deleted] sometime, but I believe there’s a woman behind every successful man. Woman is the sole key to every man’s happiness.
We can comply to every woman’s demand just love us, appreciate us, care for us and never leave our side as well.
Then It’s up to us to do the rest. Just make us feel loved and appreciated. and that’s all. Very simple.

By: Roy

Roy — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 22:43:24 +0000

I want to compliment this group and website. I think they have it about as close to right as I’ve seen. As an older male, I’ve had to wade through my share of situations, issues, and disappointments. Underneath all those superficial things that cloud and confuse life when we’re young, being loved, cared about, appreciated and respected by an emotionally and financially mature (financial attitude) female is very important. We also want enough of your time in shared experience to convince us that we aren’t living life with a room mate. I strongly and heartily approve of this website and the obvious desire behind it to provide something of value and meaningful to both sexes.

By: Jessica

Jessica — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 02:23:29 +0000

Look up Corinthians 6- and 7 7 is the relationship not part 6
Corinthians7:1-5
“Now concerning the things you wrote to me: It is GOOD for a man NOT to touch a woman. 2 Nevertheless, because of sexual immortality, Let each man have his own wife and each woman her own husband.3 Let the husband RENDER to his wife the affection due to her, and like wise the husband also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have the authority over her own body. but the HUSBAND does. Do not deprive one another except with the consent of time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer and come together again so that Satan may not temp u because of your lack of self control”………. Surely you have a bible you can look up the rest of the passage in 7:8 says to the unmarried or widowed it is better to be single, hes right about that part but hes leaving out the celibacy he either doesn’t know what he is talking about or is trying to trick you that is not Gods way …… beware of false prophets

By: Sharon

Wed, 11 Jan 2012 03:29:15 +0000

good article, thank you for sharing

By: NN

NN — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 08:44:05 +0000

It has been 5 years I have no relationship with a man after broke up with my ex BF due to he cheated on me.
2 weeks ageo I met a new future husband that I dreamed off. He’s smart and brilliant, his appearance is far from a model. But he has something inside that make me comfortable. He come for 1 month vacation and will be back to the UK within 2 weeks. I offer him for adventure trip with my friends and he’s OK about that. The think is, I do not know whether he is get into me, since when we share about opinion of marriage, he gave me Corinthians 6-7, that stated that if you need to have marriage life and still being single is doesn’t matter as long as you happy and comfortably. I can’t cathced up what he mean ? May be you can help me to translate what is it ? Thank you,

By: Jamie

Tue, 03 Jan 2012 21:06:02 +0000

Anita, I understand what you are trying to say when you suggest that the only thing you would change about him is his desire to care for his ex-wife but really, that is one of his strengths; he made a commitment and is sticking to it even in very difficult circumstances. Could I also suggest that your presence in his life is tempting him to turn his back on that commitment he made? I know that you are in love with him and I don’t mean to sound cruel but if the situation was changed and you were his ex-wife with mental health issues wouldn’t you want him to be free to follow through with the promise he made to you? Perhaps you need to let him go so that he can put all of his energy into caring for his ex-wife. I know it would be a painful thing for you and him but sometimes the right thing to do is the hardest thing to do.

Lord God I pray that You would help Anita know what is the right thing to do in this difficult circumstance and then give her the strength to follow through no matter how hard it may be. Amen

By: anita

anita — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 04:36:36 +0000

Happy New Year! Hope everyone had a good one. Just to let you know on my update. The man that I loved and enjoying and I MIGHT be over. On Sat Dec 31,st as he was make coffee and counting the scoops.When he got to 5 I said.”Yes honey” 5… He then said. What size do you were? And I said what do you mean? And he said what size ring? I replied 6. I then thought that he bought me a ring and I would get it that night. Well I was wrong. TOTALLY WRONG!!! That night yes I was dring for the New Year.. I got out of bed and slept on the couch all night. I cried and told him that when he asked me the size. I thought I was getting a ring.. I told him a few weeks ago that I wanted a ring of him saying he wants a furture with me. I know that he has said it, but with what I put up with I feel that a ring would make me feel like we are in a relationship and that I am the one he wants in his life for a furture. He can not do that. I never mentioned her going away. It is like he is loving me and still needing to take care of her till the end. For some woman who is sick she sure can stay alone every weekend for 4 years plus. Enough is enought. I love him so much. When he brought be home he mention giving me time and told me to call him when I wanted to see him. I am so hurt, confused and torn. I know it might be the best for me to walk away, but he is the man that I love so much. If I had to change one thing about him , it would only be that he has to take care of her… He does treat me like a queen in all ways. I have not hear from him since he brought me home today.. He needs to place a ring on my finger or this will make me know that he is not going to make a committment to me ever.. At the same time he tells me that nothing last forever…. (Yes the ex wife does)

By: Anita

Anita — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 05:58:20 +0000

Thank you all for the advice and the prayers. I have made up my mind that after the first of the year I will slowly walk away from this man. I will slowly do this for my own sake. I now feel that I am stronger. For now I can say this to you, I have to know that I have waited long for this man to make more of a committment to me. I will pray that I can do this. Are holiday time was wonderful. But if she is that ill then he needs to place her somewhere so that he can have a life of his own. I know that this might shock him in all ways, but what more can I do? I know that I have to do this for me and maybe for him as well. It might make him wake up and mayne it will not. I had told him several months ago that I can not and will not wait much longer. I told him that I also wanted a ring of a committment for us. And I will honestly give him until after Valentine’s day. Things have been just as normal and great with the both of us. No stress he tells me, but at the same time he does not realize that I not only want, but I deserve. If it is meant to be he will be back and I will tell him that she has done this to us both. Like I said.. I knew of this situation from the first day. I was the one that let it continue. I love him will all my heart. And now I have to love me as much. Thanks for the help and advice to all.