Comments on: Space in a Relationship

By: Jamie

Fri, 10 Feb 2012 22:26:42 +0000

So Mary & Deanna, I am curious to know why you stay with these men when you find their need for attention so unappealing?

By: Mary

Mary — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 21:14:40 +0000

@Deanna, I feel your pain! UGH 3 months serious dating & I’m at wits end.

By: Deanna

Deanna — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 02:12:22 +0000

I have been in a relationship with a man for about 6 months. He has always been quite needy in how much attention he needs and his expectations. I have said how I feel and he backed off from texting me 3 or 4 times an hour to now a couple times a day. He is one of those folk who has to be on FaceBook all the time and fidgeting with his phone or something. I have a home of my own and I really like my alone time and space. I am willing to talk and workthrough issues with him, but I am always the instigator or issues or even things to do. Since he needs so much energy to be around I really would like to see him on the weekend and he would go home on Sunday morning so I have time to my self before work on Monday. He is not respecting this. He plays the wounded puppy and this is from a 59 year old man. This is really turning me off. I am a very busy woman who has 3 jobs and I am working on having a retirement plan of my own. Suggestions to having my space needs met?

By: Jamie

Thu, 05 Jan 2012 20:01:42 +0000

Hi Marty, Have you suggested that she read this article? I know some people don’t respond well to those kinds of suggestions but it may be a way to focus your conversation together.

I don’t think buying a ring is the best idea at this point though :)

Uh oh! I just realized that if she reads this article she is going to see your comments. Oh Well, just tell her there must be another Marty with very similar life circumstances!

By: Sharon

Thu, 05 Jan 2012 03:03:32 +0000

good article- i am in type 4 we’ve been married for 25 years so we are i think quite comfortable with each other.

By: Marty

Marty — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 17:15:43 +0000

Hi there. This article was a real eye-opener for me. I am in a Type 1 relationship. My girlfriend is the person who has taken up the emotional space for the longest time – certainly since we became a long-distance couple about a year and a half ago. She would always say that I wasn’t doing enough to bring us back together (she is focused on her career and I am a father of two elementary age boys) but yet, all I ever felt like was that she was being excessively needing since she moved and not dealing with our situation rationally at all. We fought endlessly and it always came back to her feeling like I didn’t care or have enough time for her or need her enough…and me feeling like she was always criticizing me, always upset, not being proactive for herself and finding friends/dealing with the current situation better, etc. It got really bad and a few weeks ago we had a huge fight, and she walked away feeling like I didn’t want to be with her. Furthest thing from the truth but I finally stood up for myself and said what I was and wasn’t that comfortable with for our future and she took it as rejection, got angry, and broke up with me. She’s called every day since though and we’ve seen each other several times since then. Each time it’s loving and basically just the same as always. The phone conversations have been brutal though and she is sometimes ‘into it’ and other times not at all. It’s been so hard for me this past month and she says (as you stated exactly) she loves me, and knows I love her, but that she’s just ‘burned out’ on trying to find a solution. So I don’t know what to do. Give her space? Try to fix things? Buy her a ring? :) I love her and want a life with her but the long distance has dealt a huge blow to our relationship. I feel like we are on relationship life support right now and want to find some way to get past this rough patch and back to loving each other – with more effort on my part so she doesn’t feel like she’s in it alone. I felt like I gave everything I could before but it seems it wasn’t enough. Wanting to do more. Love this girl with all my heart. Help, please…thank you so much. God bless.

By: Andrew

Thu, 01 Dec 2011 19:58:12 +0000

Hi Leon,

I find that sometimes a person in a relationship is defensive as they are extremely fearful of the past hurt that is still in there heart. To overcome this fear it is important to change the focus of the relationship and seek Christ as often we try to solve the problems in a persons life instead of allowing the Holy Spirit to guide us. Sometimes doing a bible study together or joining a bible group takes the focus above instead of horizontal. God Bless

By: Leon

Leon — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 03:25:31 +0000

Rinatta, what if you fit type 1, but are the one not getting a chance to enter the space? And your partner is defensive when you tell them that “I don’t feel like there is room for me.” They have offered to get professional help, but I don’t believe it, or am worried about what it entails.

By: Rasheil

Sun, 13 Nov 2011 02:32:10 +0000

Hi KH,
I’ll continue to pray for you and the foundation relationship that would strengthen all other relationships in our lives. Ultimately, God has your heart completely and knows you and loves you more than anyone on this earth. God bless you and may you continue to seek God’s face both when things are good and not so good. <3

By: kh

kh — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 01:02:50 +0000

you know after school he shows up and we sat there talking and i took off my promise ring he got me and said here when you can be more serious about us you can give it back to me and at this point i was balling and he started crying and said no i want you and put it back on my finger. if everything would only stay this happy and simple…i told him to remind me tht he loves me not to assume tht i know, mabye this will wake him up,…