Comments on: Do You Trust Him?

By: Claire Colvin

Mon, 09 Jan 2012 17:34:55 +0000

Saddiqa,

You’re in a complicated situation. Has he asked you to marry him yet? If you are engaged and he wants to delay the wedding then I think you need to ask him why. Why does he want to wait? He may have an excellent reason or he may be wondering if he made the wrong choice. The only way to find out is to ask him.

If you are not promised to each other yet and he wants to delay it may be that he does not want to get married, or does not want to get married YET, then you need to ask yourself how long you are willing to wait. How long have the two of you been together? How old are you? These things will all factor in.

At the end of the day, you cannot force someone to marry you. Either he wants to marry you or he does not. Sometimes we say “Wait” when what we really mean is “I don’t know how to tell you that I don’t want to do this”. Talk to him. Ask him what he is thinking. Ask him if he sees himself getting married to you. It could be that he is under a lot of pressure right now and cannot think about getting married just yet. Or it could be that he has thought about it but is not ready to say his decision out loud. Talk to him. He’s the only one who knows what he is thinking. After he has told you what he wants, you need to figure out what it is that you want and whether or not those two things go together.

By: saddiqa

saddiqa — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 15:41:14 +0000

Plz help me to solve my problam … i love a boy so much and he loves me .He say to me that i love u … But delay the marriage . I m a poor girl .we are in the same university . He is so rich. I know that i m not able to him . what i do ….???? How i gain his trust very well …????

How i forget him …???

By: Jamie

Fri, 09 Dec 2011 19:55:24 +0000

Stephanie, I think one of the hardest parts of rebuilding trust is the reality that you will have to take a risk and give him the chance to again hurt you. There is no way that he is going to have the chance to regain your trust if you don’t offer him that vulnerability. It starts small with accepting his words of apology and words of love. When he says, “I am sorry” you are going to have to trust that he really means it. When he says, “You are too important to me to lose” you are going to have to believe him. You are going to have to decide which words you are going to accept from him as true.

Actions are not as important as the heart behind them. He may give you access to passwords and communication tools but it is the heart behind it that will give you the real sense of his trustworthiness. That is hard to quantify and describe. It is going to look different for different people. I would look for actions that show that you are a priority in his life. What things does he give up to be able to be with you, to make you comfortable, and show how much he values you?

The thing that I have found is that no matter who I am in relationship with, they will let me down. If I base my commitment and openness to people based on their actions I will become a pretty lonely person taking very few risks. So instead I have chosen to anchor my security, acceptance and sense of worth in my relationship with Jesus. He will never let me down and He will never break trust with me. He is the one who tells me that I am worth sacrificing for because of His love for me. I am better equipped to handle the disappointments from other people because my relationship with Jesus is solid. If you want to find out more about having that kind of a relationship with Jesus have a look at http://powertochange.com/discover/faith/discoverpurpose or talk to one of our online mentors at http://powertochange.com/discover/talk-to-a-mentor.

By: Jessica

Jessica — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 03:35:26 +0000

Trust is rebuilt by being completely transparent and honest. This includes being honest about any contact either directly or indirectly with the affair partner. Trust is rebuilt slowly and everytime there is honest communication even if the betrayed person will be hurt by hearing the truth it rebuilds trust. Only by having no secrets, only by being an open book, only by the cheating person giving up all passwords, communication with the affair partner and being transparent will trust be rebuilt

By: Stephanie

Stephanie — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 02:34:06 +0000

What actions prove your trustworthy? What concrete actions?

I know the obvious, such as being honest and open and building over time. But how do you rebuild trust that has been broken?

By: Albert

Albert — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 17:15:13 +0000

You all seemed very obsessed with things you can’t control. Truth is we all have secrets, all of you included, it’s human. If you want somebody to be honest with you I would ask myself If I am being as honest as I pretend others to be with me. Remember that love includes a big deal of acceptance. What you give for love is given for love, do not to expect anything in return. Leave jealousy behind, it will only hurt you. Believe me. If you marry somebody who is dishonest with others chances are that that person will be dishonest with you. Thats how it is.
Listen to Suspicious Minds By Elvis Presley, it’s a good take on this.

Good luck,

By: Andrew

Wed, 12 Oct 2011 02:37:29 +0000

Trust in

I am very thankful that this article was helpful!

By: Just a woman

Just a woman — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 20:05:20 +0000

The one thing Ive learned if you are looking for something you better be ready to deal with it, plus and most importantly DO NOT TELL him your looking at things the just get better at hiding things from you. Thats a fact. True Im a woman who has been hurt badly by a man I give my 100% trust in and its hard to realize what a fool I was. And in order not to be fooled again I have to keep my guard up and protect myself. But honestly it hurts all the same. Im searching for a peace of mind… Good Luck to all.

By: Trust in a Relationship Expert

Trust in a Relationship Expert — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 07:09:57 +0000

This article is right on point. There are a lot of blog-writers out there who write about the “feelings” of love and trust and how to change and build a relationship without giving any real answers. Your step by step instructions are priceless. I absolutely love your thoughts on “fair fights”. Giving an answer to everyone’s questions in such detail is beyond helpful.
Thank you!

By: Brenda

Tue, 13 Sep 2011 13:01:20 +0000

Debamita, I really believe trust is vital to a relationship, and especially one in which marriage is being considered. So is acceptance – that is, both partners being able to feel totally accepted for who they by the other. God accepts and loves us for who we are, and unless we feel we are loved and valued by our partners without condition, it is so difficult to open up and be honest. To get to this stage in a relationship takes time. Can you talk to your boyfriend openly, debamita, about your fears, your concerns, that he has not opened up to you? And if your parents’ consent and approval is of great importance to both of you, it is key to remember that you are looking at a life together, so taking the relationship slowly and getting to know one another on a deep, personal level, talking things through, and just taking time to have fun together and enjoy one another is so valuable. When we laugh together we often share so much that we do not share when we are in a serious mood, because we feel safer and not on edge.

Debamita, I pray that you and your boyfriend are able to spend some time both talking and laughing and sharing the joys of life with each other, and that you do take the time to get to know one another’s families, as family tends to be such a huge part of marriage. It sounds to me that both of you value the opinion of your respective families, and it would be well-worthwhile exploring what is keeping you from introducing your boyfriend from your parents, and vice versa. If you would like to talk to a mentor in a confidential manner, please feel free to contact one and someone will respond to you promptly and in a private manner. You can do so by clicking on the following link and filling out the brief contact form:

http://powertochange.com/discover/talk-to-a-mentor/

Our mentors are caring and willing to listen and walk with you through your life trials and joys. God bless you in your future, Debamita.