Comments on: Yes, I admit it. I’m afraid of commitment.

By: Jamie

Fri, 01 Jun 2012 21:28:06 +0000

First of all Nicole, be careful about labelling someone as ‘perfect’. You will always be disappointed and nobody needs that kind of pressure trying to live up to an impossible standard.

Secondly, I know it may be counter-intuitive but you will never find happiness in only thinking and pleasing yourself. Humans are made for relationship and only find true fulfillment when they are serving others. The best relationships are those where both partners are active in meeting the needs of the one they love.

By: Beth

Beth — Thu, 31 May 2012 23:07:19 +0000

Thank you for the advice, I’ve now been with the guy I talked about originally for almost a year and I see that comitment actually isn’t all that scary, if the person is the right person then everthing just happens naturally :)

By: Natalie Boycott

Natalie Boycott — Wed, 30 May 2012 08:18:28 +0000

this has described me perfectly and i fully admit im a commitment phobic to anyone because i am and it sort of excuses my behaviour lol, I have someone who is currently interested me, he is perfect but im scared to get into this relationship – my fears; been tied down, having to think of someone else, can no longer please my self, BEEN HURT AGAIN. oh what to do, what to do.

By: Jamie

Fri, 18 May 2012 15:40:30 +0000

I am glad to hear that Mel. Let me invite you to talk to one of our online mentors. It can be helpful to have someone that you can go to when you are in the middle of the storms of life and need a godly perspective. Just fill out the Mentor Request Form at http://powertochange.com/students/mentoring and one of our mentors will get in touch with you by email.

By: Mel

Mel — Tue, 15 May 2012 00:11:53 +0000

Jamie,
Thank you so much! I guess finding this post was my crossroads.I receive your words and prayer with an open heart. May you continue to be a blessing.

By: Jamie

Mon, 14 May 2012 23:33:28 +0000

Hi Mel, I know the hurt from past relationships can take time to heal and can make new relationships seem scary. I think that is why Jesus said, “Come to me all of you who are weary and weighed down; I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28) You see God has a perfect plan for your life and when we trust in His plan and follow where He leads us we don’t have to be afraid anymore. We can trust in Him even when the people around us are less then trustworthy. Rather than trying to guess whether a person is going to let us down or what we can look to Jesus and ask for Him to show us how to move forward or not. It takes all the pressure off because He is always leading in the best way. “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” (Romans 8:28)

Let me encourage you to put your energy into knowing God and His plan for you. The more you talk to Him about what He wants for you and listen to His voice directing you, the better you will be able to recognize Him and the more confident you will be in following.

Lord God I pray for Mel and ask that you would heal her heart from the hurts of the past. Give her confidence and peace in Your leading. Train her to focus on You, to hear Your voice and follow Your perfect leading. And as she follows You, lead her into those relationships that will allow her to flourish and become all that You have intended her to be. In Jesus’ name, amen.

By: Rebecca

Rebecca — Mon, 14 May 2012 13:53:16 +0000

Wow. Thank you SO much for this post. You nailed it all for me. I wish people were more understanding about this. You put my exact thoughts and feelings into a coherent explanation.

By: mel

mel — Thu, 10 May 2012 13:30:02 +0000

thank you for this , i was wandering why i cant commit . unlike you i have a child and stay with my family. i had a good life but lost everything due to my partner. now i feel like i only want God. i know i can rebuild it will take time. but i keep on breaking hearts. :( i want a relationship but i cant do it . and the worst is i hurt good people . when they talk about moving in i run!!! . i think it has to do with the fighting in a relationship. that its a choice to rather be on my own . im scared of normal relationship fights i dont want that again.

By: Doris

Tue, 01 May 2012 15:19:29 +0000

meenu, I would have to disagree with you that suffering is due to negative tendencies inherent in our lives. There is much suffering in the world that has nothing to do with negative tendencies in our lives, but simply due to sin in the world. Bad things to happen to good people.

loulou, you situation is very understandable. When we see relationships fail around us it is difficult to trust that any relationship we have would be different. But as you said in your posts, Jesus is different and that’s why you can trust Him. Allow Him to heal those broken places in your heart and He will help you to learn to trust others as well.

By: meenu

meenu — Tue, 01 May 2012 08:58:49 +0000

when ever we suffer by our own or due to others, it is due to negative tendencies inherent in our lives which can be purified by devoting our selves to God. As our minds improve, all else improves and we are able to gain good behaviour from the same bad people