What is true love?
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True love: what it is and what it isn’t. Find out if you’ve got the real deal. Find out what to do to get the real McCoy. Try out our short course on “True Love 101″.
I can picture the day. Rice flying, a limo pulling up to take him and me to the airport, white clusters of flowers on the pews, tears in my mother’s eyes, my bridesmaids in lavender chiffon….
All the details of my wedding day are worked out in my head. All of them, that is, except for the groom. Oops. That’s an important part, huh?
Love. It’s a commonly thrown around four-letter word. “I love macaroni and cheese.” “I love Vanilla Ice.” (Remember that?) Sometimes, even an “I love him” or “I love her.”
What is real love? And is there a difference between that and the heart-pounding adrenaline rush I feel when I see…? You know the person I’m talking about. That hot guy playing basketball at the gym… the cute girl who makes eye contact as she passes by… the friend of a friend of a friend… maybe a best friend. It’s that person we keep track of when he or she is in the same room, whose comments and actions we analyze to no end.
There are a few things love isn’t. Love isn’t a feeling. Although real love is often accompanied by strong feelings, love does not equate with the sense of floating on clouds. Unlike the type of love that movies, television, and songs portray, people in love don’t always feel ooey gooey around each other.
A relationship wouldn’t last long on emotions. In fact, knowledge is the basis of a healthy relationship.
Knowing about the other person is key. I used to and sometimes still do “fall in love” with guys that I have never had a conversation with, whether it be a movie star in the latest romantic drama or the guy sitting behind me in a calculus class. I would know his name and his face, and that was the extent of my knowledge of him. If I were to start a relationship with him, who knows where that would lead us!
Knowing about the person’s personality and character are so important. One good test is to list the qualities that attract us to that guy or girl. If the list is long, we know a lot about them and like those things. If the list is short, we either don’t know a lot about them or we know a lot but aren’t attracted to his or her personality.
Another important factor in a relationship is common life goals. If the relationship is going to be long term, we need to be going in the same general direction as the other person. If his dream is to travel as an international businessman and she wants to be a realtor in a single location, conflict could arise. If she wants to live in the countryside with nature and he likes the hustle and bustle of a big city, there are potentially serious problems with the direction of the couple’s lives.
Love isn’t sex. That statement alone goes against a lot of what the entertainment industry feeds us. Whenever two people hook up in pop culture, they have sex. Without showing some of the unpleasant realities of premarital and extramarital sex, it is drawn up to be a wonderful, fun recreational activity.
Sex is created for marriage–a long-lasting commitment between a couple. Outside of marriage, sex can have harsh consequences. Pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, guilt, insecurity, and shame can follow. A relationship based on lust can only last as long as the two are physically close and find each other sexually attractive.
Love is a choice. It’s a commitment. Although feelings will accompany love, and although sex will be a part of marriage, a lasting, healthy relationship cannot be based on these things.
The Bible says that God is love. God, as our designer and creator, made us with needs for love. Do you ever wonder why we constantly seek love from others but never feel completely satisfied? It’s because God designed us for an unconditional love, and we, as people, are flawed.
Is true love possible? Tell us what you think
People, whether friends, family, or your significant other, will invariably let you down at some point. God wants us to find our need for love and acceptance in him first. One person cannot meet all our needs, even if he’s funny or she’s thoughtful.
We were made for God’s love, and God’s love alone can fill that need. Only after experiencing and knowing the unconditional love that God has for us, the love that drove God to send his Son to die for us on earth, can we begin to love others with the same quality of unconditional love.
TRUE LOVE 101: What does it take to be that significant other?
Infatuation
- Sees the other person as perfect
- Wants to get own needs met; selfish
- Spends all time with the other person
- Quickly “falls” for the other person
- Other relationships and friendships deteriorate
- Dependence on the other person causes jealousy frequently
- Lasts for a short period of time
- Distance strains and often puts an end to the relationship
- Quarrels are serious and common
- Quarrels can seriously damage the relationship
Love
- Sees the other person’s flaws and still loves them
- Wants to serve the other person; selfless
- Still spends time with others
- Takes time to build the relationship
- Other relationships and friendships grow stronger
- Trust and understanding results in less severe and less frequent jealousy
- Encompasses a long-term commitment
- Survives and sometimes is strengthened because of distance
- Quarrels are less serious and less often
- Quarrels can strengthen the relationship
Infatuation can be so tempting. But the question is, do I want a lasting, satisfying relationship? If so, infatuation isn’t the answer. Look at your relationships through the grid above. Infatuation isn’t a bad thing, as long as we don’t base a relationship on it.
Perhaps finding real love begins with God, the one who created relationships.
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Love isn’t something that will be around the corner. Love is something that 2 person will have to work for. No matter the relationship of sexual type. If 2 person stayed with each other no matter how bad things got and came through, they can get passed anything. In relationships, there will be times when people run into walls where they start to lose interest in their partner. Well even if you start to get that losing interest feeling, don’t let that get to you. Tackle that problem by trying something new, not with another person but with your partner, and in time when you get passed that stage of the losing feelings phase, the fire that burns within your love will grow even bigger. Not saying that it is something easy to achieve, but in the end, everything will be worth giving for.
Wish you Loved meh!
it is impartant to stand in love, not fall into it
luv is friendship
love is just love….when i speak of love i speak of him…he defines love for me…it’s something wid no words enough to describe…it’s just him….
@Sivasankar
all the best :)
Hi..
I Love one beautiful girl.Her name is kalpana. i want to marry that girl ..please bless me
Lovy is forgivenss,sharing,caring and everything.Infact unconditoinal love is jost bieng there for the person you love without you looking back.
Sure everything you say seems pretty accurate ~ but I have to point out that a healthy sex life is vital to a happy long lasting relationship.
Of course love isn’t sex, but if love is a choice as you say~ why would you choose to love someone who can’t satisfy you?
And what happens when the one you love doesn’t know what they want? Not everyone has their whole life planned out.
I guess what I’m realizing that it’s important to be open and share yourself with your partner, encouraging them to do the same, and TRUST.
Love is Trust.
Huh, I think I just had a revelation. . .
@ pOetiQ
true….I understand what u mean :)
@chandni arora
I think you can Love someone you never
been with
i remember someone asked me
How can you Love someone you never
slept with
@truelove exist
I can relate to that story how deep
@ I think you can Love someone you never
been with
i just wanna say, wonderful.
:)
i hope u guys remain happy for ever and ever.
i know what true love is, here is my story: i met a handsome man 18 yrs ago. we fall in love the first day we met. I was just 19, he was 25. Our love has always been a distance love but it never changed the way we feel for each other. First he lived 700km away from me, I was at University and he was working as a Doctor. we dated for 4 years. Evrytime we met, it was like first time, we will look at each other eyes for a long time and just be together. He has a dream of becaming a specilaist surgen, he went to live in another continent so that he can achieve his dream and because i love him , i thought it will be selfish of me not to let him go.the day he left, we both cried so much , declared our love for each other and we both knew , it may be the last time we might see each other. we kept communicating and at some pont we lost touch
So we went our seperate ways, we though this was nt meant to be. I found a very kind man who really love me and i got married. But i never really stop loving that guy, i think about him all the time, all the time. I will lie awake in the night,& dream about him all the time. I tried to forget him, take him out of my mind , went for counselling but i couldnt stop loving him. for years i didnt hear from him at all but my love was still there , so strong.
I after i was sure , 10 yrs late, it was really true love, I didnt want to die without seeing him and telling him how much i love him amd how much his love keep me alive. i decide to risk everything , my marriage , my job . i took my savings and went to look for him. I found him and guess what he was also still in love with me. Guess what, he was still single .He felt exactly the same way, have called off his engagement 3 times and he say he felt he never really fell in love since he last fall in love with me long time ago.
we still live in different continent but now we see each other more often.. we just know , we truly love each other, we trust each other. WE are soulmate. when the other is nt felling well u just know. we finally decided few days ago, we need to be together for eternity….. we will be living together and then ….rest is in God ‘s hand
Finding love is too valuable to give up on. At the same time you need to be sure the other person wants the same thing. You can’t force anyone to love you.
if u been infatuated with someone for 3 years
then you love or are in love
or both
Love is a Beautiful Thing
I had a thing for someone for 3 years
and i believe it’s more than attraction
it’s all lOve
i believe that if u have never been in a relationship with the person, it is infatuation and it can last for many years because somewhere u have the desire to have that person.
if u r in a relationship and it lasted for years to come , dat is LOVE.
hope that helps.
can an infatuation last for 3 years even if you never been in a relationship ….was it an infatuation in the first place or is this love?
love is not define by word its just a feeling that we can only feel by loving the person whom we love.
love is life and love is everything………….
To Nadal with love: You can’t quit because someone else quit. You are you and you must continue even if others quit. God will give you someone who truly loves for LOVE BELIEVES!
hi nadal,
end up for whom, who left u.
if u were right but still she left u then i think u should move on.
u r pathetic and weak because of urself.u have to be strong and bold.
life is very beautiful,u should enjoy every moment.
take ur time and then see whts gonna happen.
ur life is not just for ur girl but for other beautiful things in this world.
:D:D:D
my luv left me accusing dat i doubtd her..but i didnt.. Now im pathetic n weak..wat shud i du? End my lyf? Or jst move on?
It’sn’t easy to explain abt true love, bt simply a lot of relationships which aren’t God centered are hardly found as true love!!
From Darkness to Light
If you’re going through troubles
It can lead to stronger confidence
Taking notice to a small accomplishment
The way you feel about yourself
can definitely influence action
with the attempt to aim high
earn the right to relaxin’
To escape life, making time for the self
otherwise may go crazy swinging a belt
expressing disappointment one may have felt
Appreciating all you have
without doing the math
when things gone wrong
don’t have to be so sad
Without mild confrontation
wasting no time on unworthy debating
The bullcrap slowly fading.
Not easy asking for help
some love to be rejective
A team player, to benefit group
To have high self esteem
knowing you’re somebody without diamonds & rings
It’s all about the heart & What it bring
Marvelous is the scene.
Propelled toward new directions
life sneaks up with some testin’
Moving forward with wisdom & a lesson
Feeling that you are worth it
somethings might hurt a bit
Gotta know if it’s in you or if one will quit
P.R
C10
Love feels Good and is very refreshing and love at first sight is something like a instant magnet
i always had that love is at first site but i still believe that. am from nigeria i have a guy my school but different department
u r right GL,love is never selfish.
i was in love with a guy and waited for him like years, when the time came, i saw that he wanted to marry me but he had things like money, status, society.
i even travelled so far for him to marry him but then i realized that is this love?
love is just from my side but wht he wants his just to complete his selfishness, i came back breaking up with him.
i know that people say that love is not selfish but it is hard to find true love.
but i am great to hear that ur love was to see him happy.
:D
I just found out that the person I likes is currently in a relationship. I was a bit hurt at first but at the same time I am happy. Seeing him finally found someone that makes him happy. I am truly happy for him!! I do believe love is not selfish! GL
for me love is that i never get angry with GOD.
if something bad happens, i don’t get angry with GOD,i always say thanks for everything ,just be with me.
i am not the happiest person in this world but still i think i am the happiest person in this world when i see people behind me.
love can never die if it is true,if it does it was never true.
love is something that who have is the luckiest person, i have my parents love and i know God loves me to because he is always there.
Love is Unconditional and uncomplicated..Love just is..It has no colour or boundaries..it has no conditions..Love just is, in all its shapes forms colours, creeds, cultures, and beings..Love just is…Unjudgemental..
Love it self is sumthing else wat we need to be vry careful wen falln in luv .
In my journey of life i found dat the thing called love actually dosent exist between girl and boy.what the truth is if you have possessions you are loved by almost all if not, you will not even be considered love worthy.
so i have decided to love only god who is unselfish.
and i love all humans because i obey my love who says “love your neighbour as your self.”
I LOVE YOU JEHOVA
lOve thE PEOple wiTh WhoM fAte bRinGs YoU togETHER bUt dO so wITh ALl YoUr HEART
infatuation is vryyyy tempting..
yup.. it is..
i meet with a grl who is my cuzin,but she live abroad,and wen i meet her 1st time i fall in luv,but she live with us jst 1 month and she was gone bck,now i evry time think about her,i want to mke her my life partner,if she wil not come in my lyf,then iwill not marrige to any other,now tel me how can i make her my life partner?
I think love is really a beautiful gift that everyone is capable of having. Sometimes it is so hard to be satisfied without love. Its a force that drives us to wake up every morning and i can’t imagine a world without love.I have currently found that I really like my best friend but it hurts because I’m not sure if he likes me or not…how do you know?
True luv is wen u look in2 someone’s eyes n see everythin you need.someone dt can actually excites u so much like a fairground ride n u ‘ll 4ever be in a whirl.true luv is rare bt there are many….
I THINK TRUE LOVE CAN BE ESTABLISHED IN A RELATIONSHIP WHEN GOD IS THE CENTER-PERSON IN THE RELATIONSHIP.
true love don’t just come, love is a gragual process, it dose not matter the kind of cloth the girl or the boy is putting on, and the most important thing is that,we should always pray to God Almigthy to direct us in all we do,also for him to give us our own true love.
Yes, true love is unconditional, you LOVE when your heart tells you to do so, not your mind. It is all about our actions and attention, not words and foolish promises. It is part of our essence, what we are and how we are.
i think that fiding your true love is very had becouse u just dont know who MR right is all u have to do is just be your self be who u are who knows what will come up dont forget to put your faith in God he is the only one who knows who your true love is
i found a lady whom i love much to extend that my intention is to take her as my life partner of which i let her to be aware of it all of a sudden she developed the sense of mistrust, infact when i sent her a message she will use it to accuse me, but beside i love her much. so, what should i should do.
My case, i think falls inbetween the line of infatuation and love. I wish my luv can capture this site. Here is a recap of my story. I had Roseline for 4 yr and she was evrytin to me and she still is bcoz i cant stop luv’n her even if she place a knife on my throat. But we broke up bcos of trust. She was d one who call it quit, say’n i dnt trust her. Can the issue of trust destroy a love based relationship?
love is nature to all human beings. Who loves anyone. Love isn’t sex. Love is understand ur lovable person. All of u loves any person.
I often wonder if this is all. I am not satisfied with anything. I want to get close to Our Lord but I really am uncomfortable in the whole church scene. Everyone is always saying oh you have to go to church. I dont beleive that I must go to church for God to love me. What is your opinion?
I really want to know more about dis true love so i would know more about what i share with my man
Love is giving. Being prepared to release oneself for the person loved. God loved and gave… and so if we love we must be ready to give. We may not give our son but we can give of our time, talents and treasure to make the person loved happy and free.
Why do i always see my spouse with my each of friends in my dreams but in reality she nearly killed herself when i ended the relationship due to my dreams,she had never being that close to me as she was to my guys in my dreams,why?whats the cause & meaning?
with the list of infatuation and love, i found that my soon-to-be one year relationship has a mix between the two. so how do i know?
hey orton..Love has no awareness of merit or demerit; it has no scale… Love loves; this is its nature…as Howard Thurman says