Whether or not you’ve ever been homeless or struggled with addiction, we’ve all done things we’re not proud of. It can be a challenge to love certain family members. How can you learn to appreciate your family?

Take the next step:

Take steps to strengthen your family.
How can you find hope in a struggle with addiction?
Have you been hurt by your family? Talk to us.

It’s one thing to read all the stats about porn addiction

How do you deal with the struggle? It comes down to three things: triggers, pathways and what we will do about it. Triggers at the things that get your brain thinking about porn.  Pay attention to what happens just before you go looking for porn.  Are you bored? Tired?  Has there been a  lack of sex with your wife? (If this is the excuse to you for using porn check out what Dr. Doug Weiss says about it.

Next, look at the pathway you use to get the porn. How easy is it for you to get it? Boredom and tiredness are huge factors why men turn to porn so deal with pathways. Make it difficult to get to. Put internet filters on your computer. Do whatever it takes during the times you don’t feel the urge so that you protect yourself when you do. Go to www.xxxchurch.com or www.besafe.com for help.

Here is the crux of the whole deal: now that you have observed your triggers and pathways what will you do to change? Gary Thomas gave a challenge that made me wonder if husbands have the guts to take it on. What was his challenge?  It’s this: when you are tempted by pornography do something to build your marriage by doing a service that honors your wife.

If you are thinking, “I can do that. No problem.” you’re fooling yourself.  In fact it is a struggle greater than men want to admit.  For me I have to admit I need strength that comes from outside of me.  I make a request from Jesus.  I need his power.  Does it work?  Oh yes, I dare you to try it.

Know your triggers and pathways. Deal with them or porn will slowly smother you and your relationships. If you are looking for some books check out: When Good Men are Tempted, Everyman’s Battle, Pure Eyes and Final Freedom.

Family Life offers hope and resources for struggling marriages. Watch their video: The Sex Starved Marriage.

Are you struggling with porn? Do you need to talk? Either contact us privately by filling out this form and one of our mentors will contact you or make a comment about this article below the form.

What about you? Is your life spinning out of control? We can help you get control back.

What would your life look like if you could start over with a clean slate?

Are you ready to choose a different path?

Jesus came, and died, and rose again to wipe the slate clean. He was scourged, tormented, and finally nailed on the cross for humankind’s sins – this was all part of God’s plan to bring you and I back into relationship with him. God wants to be a part of your life … in fact, not just a part of your life, but wants you to live in full fellowship with Him. Is this the life for you?

God loves you and created you to know Him personally. He longs for you to have the kind of full life you were always meant to have. So why do people not experience this kind of life? People are lost and separated from God, so we cannot know Him personally or experience His love. Because of our sins, we justly deserve judgement. But God provided his Son, Jesus Christ, as the only provision for our sin. He died in our place, then he rose from the dead.

We must individually trust Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord; then we can know God personally, receive forgiveness for our sins, and experience His love: “As many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God” (John 1:12)

We trust God through faith. You can trust Christ right now by faith through prayer! (Prayer is just talking with God.) God knows your heart and is not so concerned with your words as He is with the attitude of your heart. The following is a suggested prayer:

Lord Jesus, I need you. Thank You for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life and receive You as my Savior and Lord. Thank You for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Take control of the throne of my life. Make me the kind of person You want me to be.

Does this prayer express the desire of your heart?

If it does, pray this prayer right now, and Christ will come into your life, just as He promised.

As “Dr. Muriel” I have received many letters from teens and twenties who are addicted to cutting or self-harm.

When I started dealing with cutters, I went to the Lord and asked Him why they were doing such an awful thing to themselves. Answer came: “Ask them.” So I began to delve into the pasts of cutters and self-harmers, asking them why and when they had started. Well, a number of them had been raped or sexually abused, and they had found that cutting gave them a certain feeling of relief.

Why has this worked? I wondered. The first thought that came to me was that it was a form of self-punishment. Why would they feel relief in punishing themselves? Because of feelings of guilt that are assuaged when they do it. Why would they feel guilty? Because for some reason they blame or hate themselves.

When Martin Luther was young, he was taught by his church, “Do good works, do penance, humiliate yourself, and you will be saved.” So he often resorted to self-punishment in seeking to find relief from guilt. The relief was short-lived, as cutters have learned. But when Martin finally read in his Bible, “The just shall live by faith” (Romans 1:17), he saw that salvation was a free gift of God, that Jesus had fully paid the penalty for his sins on the cross! Thus he was set free from his bondage. Then he courageously became a preacher of God’s Word, the father of the Reformation and the Lutheran church.

How does all this apply to the addicted, the abused, the suicidal, the depressed, the wounded, and the lost? Well, they too might have feelings of guilt about the past. Also they may harbor anger toward those who have hurt them in various ways even as the cutters may. This in turn makes them feel miserable, depressed, defeated, hopeless.

Why? Well, Jesus said, “If you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6:15).4

Unresolved guilt, anger, and grudges separate us from God. And God is the One who can give us peace that passes all understanding no matter what, if we walk with Him. I found that to be true in my own life. Even though I was often abused verbally and physically, the Lord gave me the grace to forgive my abuser again and again. And so I lived in my Lord’s amazing peace and was able to serve Him in many ways. If it worked for me, it will work for you–or a loved one for whom you’re concerned!

Related Reading:

Understanding Cutting

Related:
It’s Possible To Overcome Addiction

Related:
Beginning Life Again

Are you or someone you know one of the countless individuals who suffer alone as a victim of their spouse or child’s addictions? These people struggle to hold the pieces together financially and emotionally, while the destruction seeks to devour their homes and sanity.  Please take this study to learn how to hold on to hope and still keep your sanity.