If you do a Google search on “wedding stress” you’ll get over 70 million results. 

For most people a wedding is the largest, most expensive and most important event you will ever host.  If you’re planning a wedding and feeling that stress, you are not alone.   It can be tempting to think that there just isn’t time to add a “de-stressing” to-do to your lists. But if you can, carve out that time.  You don’t want to be so focused on the wedding that you forget to plan for the marriage itself.

If you are getting married, our free book for brides is full of ideas and information as you plan for a lifetime together. There is also a series of online lessons you can do with a coach to help you prepare to share you life.  These lessons can be done anytime, from anywhere you have an internet connection.

Topics include:

• Dealing with stress
• Anticipation
• Dealing with differences
• How to share your life without losing yourself

Over the series of lessons you’ll learn things you can invest in your relationship now that will reap benefits long into your life together.  Each lesson takes about half an hour to complete.  Grab a cup of tea and quiet corner and let a coach walk with you as you prepare to walk the aisle.  If you have any questions along the way we’re happy to help and we’ll pray for you as your special day approaches.

Start the first lesson today!

See the full list of lessons for brides 

Editor’s Note: It is always our hope that a couple is able to reconcile. If your own marriage is in trouble our mentors are available to help. 

It is difficult to deal with everyday life when you’re going through a divorce. You feel lousy both physically and emotionally. But in spite of that, you need to take care of your financial situation as soon as possible. After meeting with your attorney, you need to sort out all the assets and get a general feeling of who is going to get what. This includes bank accounts, retirement accounts, real estate investments, life insurance, stock plans and the martial home.

There are many things you can do to protect yourself. If you’ve yet to be served with divorce papers from your soon-to-be-ex, you can change your will so that half of your estate goes to your family (children, siblings, parents) if you die before the divorce decree gets signed. Otherwise, your entire estate could go to the woman you’re divorcing (check your state’s laws or consult with an attorney). You can also change the beneficiary of your life insurance plan as well.

1. Close joint banking and credit card accounts. One other important thing to do before you’re served is to close out joint banking and credit card accounts. Open up new ones in your name only. I made the mistake of not knowing my ex-wife was on one of my checking accounts and she took $1,300 out of it. I’ll never get that back.

2. If you’re in the US, don’t forget about your health insurance. If you’re on her plan, she has to keep you there until the divorce decree is signed, or vice-versa. If don’t have your own health insurance, start shopping now so that you’re ready when everything’s done. It is a terrible idea to be without major medical coverage.

3. Figure out how much you’re going to need to live on. Stay on a budget if you’ve moved out and keep track of your expenses. In many cases, men now have legal rights to spousal support if your ex-wife-to-be earned more than you did.

If you do not have a current document of the net wealth you and your ex have accumulated, you need to get that in order too. Most attorneys or your CPA can provide you with a simple file to input that information. It is basically assets minus liabilities to get a good idea of how much your estate is valued.

Taken from the ebook, 9 Secrets A Man Needs To Know About Divorce.  Used with permission.

Take the next step:

Life after divorce
How do you define yourself?
Helping kids cope with divorce

You’re wise to hunt for a job before you lose one.

The number of people dissatisfied with their jobs appears to be increasing. The Society for Human Resource Management survey found that the percentage of unhappy employees has been rising since 2009. People are reacting to job uncertainty by hunting for new jobs

So how can you find a new job that’s perfect for you? Begin with some of the many job sites on the web. You might begin with an article we recently ran on “16 Totally Free Job Sites You Need to Know About”.

But today we’re not going to focus on how to do resumes or network to hunt for job openings. Let’s look a little deeper and see if we can’t help you decide what type of job, company and career you should be pursuing. Rather than sending out thousands of electronic resumes, we’ll try to narrow your search so that your efforts become focused.

Begin with some self-examination. That’s something that most of us are too busy to do regularly. But, it’s important if you want to change jobs/careers. Take a few evenings to think about you. What are you good at? Bad at? What things do you like or dislike? What things get you excited? How do friends and family think of you? What events in your life were really important? And, what do they tell you about yourself?

Spend some time alone with these questions. Write your answers down. That will force you to dig a little deeper for your answers. After you’ve finished the self-examination ask some close friends or family to answer the same questions for you. Often they’ll see things that we can’t see about ourselves.

Armed with this self-knowledge, the next step is to do a little dreaming. Think about what your perfect job would look like. Don’t make it practical. If your dream has you showing up at noon so you can sleep in, that’s fine. If it means you take your netbook to the beach and work from there, that’s fine, too. This is a time to be unrealistic. Think big and bold!

Obviously, you won’t expect to find a job that looks exactly like your dream. But you may find that certain jobs/professions share elements with your perfect job. Wherever possible, you’ll want to choose potential jobs that include some of your dream ideas.

Next choose some potential professions to consider. You’ll want to take into account some of the personal traits you’ve discovered, but you’ll also need to be practical. This is the time to learn about any long-term trends for the profession. Use the net to research the field. Will there be job opportunities for years to come or is it a dying profession? Is it one that’s being replaced by robots or computers?

Finally ask yourself if you can picture being in that profession ten or twenty years from now. Will you be able to handle the physical or mental challenges? Or would you be totally bored doing the same things over and over?

You don’t want to change jobs or professions only to find out that you’ve run out of opportunities in a few years. Better to discover that now before you’ve made the effort to find a good job.

By blending the practical and ideal you should have a good idea what type of job and company you’re looking for. So target your job hunt on those targets. Let others send out thousands of resumes. You focus on the few and take the extra steps to increase your odds of success with them. Don’t just send a resume. Send a resume and follow up with a personal call. Use LinkedIn to make friends within the company. Use multiple resources to reach your goal.

Hopefully you’ll find a job that suits your skills, provides ample opportunity in a field that can supply a steady income for many years to come.

Take the next step:

Starting over (Whether you want to or not)
How to love the job you’ve got
Take a lesson: How to manage time wisely

This is the time of year when many people look at their debt situation and shudder.

They’ll begin with high hopes. But many of them will quit before reaching their goal, disappointed, discouraged and defeated. Is there something that they could have done differently that would have given them a better chance at success? I think so.

You can find all kinds of advice about how to get out of debt. The web is full of the stuff. But, when you boil it all down, there are three things that form a foundation for a get out of debt effort.

1. Don’t expect immediate results. You won’t be getting out of debt in a matter of days or weeks. The only way to eliminate your debts quickly is to inherit a large sum of money, win the lottery or declare bankruptcy. The first two are unlikely. The third may remove debts quickly, but you’ll suffer with a lower credit score for years to come.

Recognize that it will probably take about as long to get out of debt as it took you to get into it. You can speed up the process but you won’t eliminate debt that took 10 years to accumulate in 10 months. You can shorten the time by being aggressive in your payback plan, but it still will be a long process.

What’s the take-away? You need to be prepared for a marathon race. This is not a sprint. If you’re prepared for the long haul you won’t be disappointed and discouraged when a year passes and you haven’t eliminated all your debts. You’ll expect a long battle and be ready to fight it.

2. You need a good plan. A good plan will stand the test of time. The longer you work with a good plan, the more you appreciate its usefulness. There are a number of good plans readily available. You may find that one is particularly well suited to your situation.

Any good plan will have a number of characteristics:

1. It will include all your debts. That’s important to help you see the whole picture.
2. It will help you evaluate exactly how bad your debt situation is. Not only will you know how much you owe, but you’ll know how much it’s costing you in interest each month/year.
3. It will include a priority of which debts to pay off first – smallest to biggest? Highest to lowest interest rate?
4. It will allow you to know how much money you’ll have each month to repay debts.
5. It will free you from having decisions to make each month. You know how much money you’ll have and which debt is being reduced first. The decision is already made. It’s just a matter of executing your plan.
6. It will allow you to calculate an approximate date that you’ll be debt free.
7. It will help you monitor your progress. You should be able to predict where you’ll be 6 months from now. And, then compare your actual results to that prediction.
8. It will take your personality into account. Some people need the motivation of seeing many small accounts being repaid quickly.
9. Others are happier watching the average interest rate their paying decrease each month. A good plan will be tailored to your personality.

A good plan will do all those things. Some offer other bells and whistles. But any good plan should do all of the above things. If your plan doesn’t do them, keep looking for one that does. This job is hard enough with a good plan. Don’t weigh yourself down with a bad one.

3.  Find a way to keep yourself motivated throughout the process. Once again, you’ll need to know what would encourage you when you’re thinking of quitting. For some people, rewards along the way work well. Perhaps a nice dinner or that coffee maker you’ve wanted would be a good reward when your car loan is repaid. Knowing that a reward is within reach could be enough to keep you going.

For others one big reward at the end is the best motivation. I know of people who’ve wanted to go on a cruise for years. They’ve added the cost of the cruise to their debts. And when it’s all paid off they’ll be packing their bags. To remind them now, they’ve posted pictures of cruise ships around the house as a continual reminder.

Getting out of debt is a tough challenge, but it’s a worthwhile one. And it’s one that you can accomplish with the right tools and sufficient determination!

Take the next step:
Managing debt starts with a plan
Digging out of debt 
Take a lesson: How to beat stress