Are you experiencing financial concerns?

Join us for our Daily Devotional Chat today in our Women’s Chatroom at 10:30 am EDT.

“If anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: the old has gone, the new is here” (2 Corinthians 5:17 TNIV)!

“Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation” (1 Peter 2:2).

Here I am, preparing again to go to the gym for a strenuous workout. For a person who finds the most pleasurable exercise to be turning the pages of a book, these experiences are not high on my Happiness List.

Nine months ago I was the recipient of a new knee. The surgeon assured me that—in time—my mobility would be back to normal with a limping gait and constant pain only a distant memory. The key words in his prognosis were “in time.” While there have been no physical complications, recovery has not been without its challenges.

First there were six weeks of therapy at the hands of a skilled, persistent and somewhat compassionate professional. She pushed, prodded, encouraged and challenged me to increase my “range of motion.” Finally I reached the goal and was released from her care.

But that wasn’t the end. Surgeon and therapist both insisted that I continue an exercise program so that eventually I could be fully functional. Because discomfort was still present, warm water exercises were first on the list. Then it was on to the treadmill. My goal of a half mile seemed embarrassing as I saw people far older than I zipping along for three miles. And that was after they had lifted weights and pedaled a bike.

Yes, I have a new knee. But now comes the necessary process of strenuous training so I can continue glorifying God by participating in whatever activities He chooses for me in His Kingdom. “The old has gone, the new is here!” The Apostle Paul also wrote that he consistently disciplined his body so that he could be ready for whatever future God chose.

But there is something far more crucial than keeping one’s body as healthy as possible for Kingdom activity. Just as going to the gym strengthens my muscles and increases my capacity for further action, the discipline of solitude and silence to hear God’s voice and the study and application of scripture provides nutrition for daily living.

New knees are wonders of medical science. New people are wonders of God’s love.

Thank you, Father, for all the new ways you work in my life. Help me be disciplined enough to stick to the exercises you desire.  Amen.

Questions: What are some of the disciplines that we need to exercise in order to stay spiritually fit?

About the Author Marilyn J. Ehle

Nope, we’re not pregnant, nor planning on being pregnant ANYTIME soon. (God willing.) But this is the main thing we have  been asked about since we got married. “When are you having a little Jason? When do we get to meet a mini Brittany?” I must confess…I have been the one asking those questions.

We all love babies. We love the way they smile in their sleep, and giggle and cuddle – the list goes on. Babies are a gift from God.  I was reading in a book by Darlene Zschech, she talks about how babies are “the kiss of heaven”. So true.  So what do you in between the wedding day and the day you find out there is a little baby growing inside of you?

Enjoy this new love that has taken over life

Anyone that truly knows me, knows how much I love kids – babies, toddlers, children, tweens, preteens, and teens. I love young adults, and adults too. Looks like I’ll be in luck once the babies come.  I enjoy people in all stages of life.  Basically, I love life, and life has become all the more beautiful since getting married.  So even though I can’t wait to be a mommy, and share that gift with the love of my life, I want to enjoy today.

I was sitting on the couch this morning, after spending an hour studying for my History of Israel final.  I was just flipping through the channels thinking there is NOTHING on this morning. Nothing good on Regis and Kelly, nor The View. The house was cleaned all last week, so I really just need to tidy. I had scanned through all updates on Facebook.  We had yummy left-overs so even dinner was taken care of.
I was thinking about how on this day off, it would be so fun taking care of a sweet little angel. There I go again, always looking ahead and wanting what is supposed to happen in the future while not being content with today.

I decided to blog, to ponder the reality of the whirlwind of being a newlywed. It stops every so often, just enough for me to think about the babies. Yet these are the moments where I am reminded to be so thankful for what I am given today. Everything else will happen when the time is right.

This is for you other newlyweds that are often asked about babies: just enjoy today. Enjoy your role as a wife, taking care of the home when you have time in-between work. Spend time with your husband. How cool is that?  Today, is a glorious day. No matter what day it is.

Today is a good day

As we wake up in the morning, we need to soak in the beauty of the morning and the reality that we get to live for our God today.  We need to bless the people we come into contact with. This goes for everyone. Yes, I am speaking to the newlyweds this morning, because there seems to be so much fun pressure to have babies and get that life going! Yet, there is SO much to be learned today. I know there is so much to be learned once babies come, and learning never ends.

I want to enjoy being a new wife, enjoy my husband, and the freedom we have today.  This isn’t for those that seem to ask when we are going to get pregnant.  This is for me to remind myself to slow down anytime that maternal desire starts to poke at me deep in my heart. This is for me to remember that God has perfect timing, and that I want to take life one step at a time.

It’s been quite the year of transition for Jason and I. There were some incredible mountains to climb and yet, with God, we climbed them.  Now I want to soak in the sunshine.  I want to continue enjoying the “in-between”.  What a beautiful place to be.

What a blessing it is to be able to have a day with such freedom like today, with no little man needing attention, or little princess needing even more. Those blessings, those kisses from heaven may come in time, if God chooses.  I don’t want to waste a single day of the in between.  I want to run after what God has for me, for Jason and I, today.

Upcoming online chats: Join us for daily online chats! One of our features will be “The Rest of My Life” on August 30 at 10:30 am EDT Please join us to discuss how  what “The Rest of Your Life” looks like to you.

If you’ve been following the Duggar family, you already know that 19 Kids and Counting (originally 17 Kids and Counting) is a reality television show centered around the Jim Bob and Michelle, along with their 19 kids.  Jim Bob and Michelle seem to be devoted parents who take good care of their children. They live debt-free and fully support themselves. Unlike other famous parents of multiples they do not use any type of fertility treatments.

They are also committed Christians. This led me to wonder … is this what God had in mind when He gave the command to “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it”? (Genesis 1:28)  The Duggars follow the  “Quiverfull” Christian movement, which teaches that “children are God’s blessing and that husbands and wives should happily welcome every child they are given.” (Source: MSNBC)

I don’t disagree that children are a blessing from God, but does that necessarily mean we should have as many children as possible? Chocolate cake is a blessing too but that doesn’t mean I should eat it every day … okay, maybe that’s not the most apt analogy.

But what do you think? Should people who have the means to support them have as many children as possible? Do you think couples should explore other options, like adoption or helping out others with their children, instead? On one hand, I’m glad these kids are being raised in a caring and God-honoring home, but on the other hand, 19 children just seems excessive to me.

What do you think?

Related:
- Superwoman or Super God?: You don’t need to be a “Superwoman”
- The Legacy of a Christian Father: How one Christian father made an immutable difference in his child’s life.

Suellen likes to introduce me as her first and third husband because it surprises people. I can see why some people think it’s shocking and I guess it is, but I am so grateful to God that I have the privilege of being her husband today. A marriage with God in it is so different from one without. We had to learn this the hard way, after much pain, difficulty and tears. Read more

Take action: A healthy marriage is worth working towards. Improve your marriage by exploring our Lovebusters Series of online marriage life lessons.

You said it: This week, Hellen commented on the article Suicide Seemed Like a Good Option, saying “Thanks for sharing this story, it is very inspiring …” Read the article and add your own thoughts: Read more

Blog: Ordinary Miracles
I think we forget that even under the most ordinary circumstances, a pregnancy is always a miracle. Read more

Feature: Changes in Family Dynamics
The transition to college isn’t limited to the students. Parents and siblings also experience growing pains. Read more

Coming up next week: One of the topics of our upcoming online chats is “What gives meaning to your day?” Join us in the chat room November 9th 2009 @ 12:15pm EST for this chat or see also our full chat calendar for other upcoming topics.

“What?” my mind screamed. “What are you saying?”  But really I didn’t want to know.  I stared at the screen willing the baby to live.  A month before, we had seen the baby move and blood flowing to its heart. But now, there was nothing.

“Please,” my heart cried, “Please find it.” I couldn’t look at my husband’s face.  The world had seemed to stop suddenly and everything in my heart waited to hear what she had to say next. But there was nothing more to see.

Finally, I remembered my husband and that he needed me too.  He, too, was suffering.  I glanced at him in shock and then looked back at the screen, wishing the outcome to be different.

But it was not.  Just a few minutes ago, we had been talking about morning sickness, hormones, weight loss and suddenly I was talking about miscarriage and next steps.  I began to cry.  The technician was still probing inside and took a ton of pictures and I just wanted her to be done.  I didn’t want to see anymore.

So many questions

My eyes were rather red as my husband lovingly held me as we walked down the hall to the doctor’s room again.  There we talked about surgery and medicine and natural miscarriage.  We decided to wait and make a decision later that day.  The doctor was great.  She hugged us as we left.

We walked out, only to see a little girl.  I began crying again.  My husband took me to the car and we cried and hugged each other.  It hurt so badly that I didn’t know what to do.

We had told everyone we knew that we were expecting.  They all knew days after the baby had already died in my womb.  I felt so silly.  What a mess to undo.  My head was in shock and I didn’t know where to go.

But I asked God, “Why?  Why didn’t we know sooner? Why did it happen? Was it our fault?  Did we do it?  Were we ever going to have kids?  Could we go back to the office and have a second look?  What if they were wrong? Why didn’t you let the baby live?  Why did you take him?” These questions kept running through my head over and over and over again.

We thought the baby was a boy.  We had names picked out and everything.  We were planning and saving, hoping and dreaming.  What kind of God would do that?  “Who are You, God,” my heart cried.

Working through my grief

A year and a half later, it still hurts.  It’s still a painful memory, although time has softened the blow.  But I feel like I’m betraying the lives of my children to even say that.  It hurts a great deal. I’m still angry at times.  It has been a long process to even get this far – a long and intense process.

I’ve heard the sympathy and lack of sympathy from many.  I’ve been part of an incredible friendship that has encouraged, uplifted and challenged me as we walked the road of losing a child together.  But mostly, I’ve cried out to God.

I’ve yelled at God, telling Him everything that He has done stinks. I’ve hated Him.  I didn’t even want to speak to Him ever again, but after realizing that it was impossible to do that I repented and turned from that sin.

I remember not wanting to ever see people again, at the same time I wanted them to surround me.  I never wanted to attend church again, so that I wouldn’t have to answer any questions. But I did and I’m glad I did because I’ve had the arms of many believers around me.

But the internal struggles continued. It wasn’t supposed to happen to me, to us.  We were solid, growing, maturing believers.  We loved God enough to give our lives to whatever ministry He wanted us to be in. We did what was right.

Moving forward

As the due date approached for our little one, I struggled even harder.  Up until that point, I was so busy with everything that I didn’t spend a tremendous amount of time working on the grief process.  The hardest point for me when the baby would have been born was that I was without a job, something I would not have needed had the baby lived. I was going to be a mom and my status in life would have been secure in that.  Instead, here I was, a jobless woman.  So I mourned that loss.

I remember feeling so helpless and uncertain of why I even existed.  God seemed so unfair and so far away, so uncaring in my mind.  Everything seemed so pointless.  And as I mourned, crying out to God with my pain, He comforted me with Himself.

He showed me that it was okay to cry, to tell Him of all that hurt, and then He comforted me. He showed me through His word, through His Spirit, through the love of my husband, and the love of His people that He loved me. He didn’t do this to punish me.  My sins were canceled at the cross of Christ. Instead of having a child on September 28, the due date, I was hired for a job that I had been training for since the month after the miscarriage.  He loved me, a fact that I understand a great deal more now because of this pain.

Back to the beginning

Life progressed and God brought a new challenge into our lives in the form of foster parenting and possibly adoption. We started two and a half months of classes in February of that next year, only to find out a month later that we were pregnant again.

Oh, the joy that I experienced.  I was elated!  “God doesn’t hate me,” I thought. I am blessed! We kept it quiet for about a week as the hormone levels were confirmed to be rising and then told our families, and then gradually, our friends.  I felt complete.  I had given my in-laws and my mom a grandchild.  I wasn’t a failure in life any longer.  I had a purpose and it was to be a mom.

That was March.  In April, I experienced a loss in hormones and had a funny feeling that it was happening again.  Suddenly, my world spun.  I became cold to all of it, especially God. I was shocked that He would allow it to happen again.  For three weeks, we went to a weekly ultrasound as we watched and waited.

The night before our seventh week ultrasound, I had realized that I hadn’t prayed for this little one.  I knew why. I knew that God was in control and if He was going to allow this baby to live, then He would. And if not, then He wouldn’t.  My prayers wouldn’t change His will.  But I also knew that He wanted me to tell Him what was on my heart, so I decided to pray and tell God that I wanted this one to live.  I wanted to hold this baby in my arms and be their mom.

I wish there was another way

But the next day, we saw nothing on the ultrasound machine, having seen the heartbeat only the week before.  I cried, but at the same time, something in me had died.  I was angry at God, in a way that I couldn’t even explain.

We didn’t schedule a surgery that week, as the doctor wanted to give the baby another week to prove without a doubt that he or she hadn’t just turned out of view.  So we told our families, crying with them and waited, hoping.  But the baby was gone.  We had an amazingly clear picture of her or his development, but no heart was beating.

I miss this child too.  I hate that it’s a past tense.  I wish there was another way.  I don’t know if it will ever really go away although there are days that it’s not as intense as others.  Maybe it will continue to lessen if God ever will give us a child.  Maybe not. Maybe I will one day hold those kids in heaven.

He has the words of life

I know God is sovereign and good and just and merciful and full of compassion, because He said so.  He told me that in His Word. If it isn’t true here and now, in this crisis, then what use is my faith?

I’m reminded of the question Christ asked His disciples when many decided to forsake Him because of the pressures of the religious leaders of His day.  “Do you wish to leave me also?” He asked. And their response? “To whom shall we go?  You have the words of life.”

There is no other rock nor hiding Place. He alone is God. Therefore, if He cannot comfort me, then there is none who can help.  So I wait for the God of all comfort and in the meantime, I cry to Him of my pain.

Read a story of miscarriage, hope, and God’s provision in a woman’s personal story in “An Unreasonable Joy“.

The latest chapter in the saga is that the octuplets’ mother might be losing her home:

Los Angeles County property records show a notice of mortgage default was filed Feb. 9 against the home of Suleman’s mother, Angela Suleman, the station reported.

Angela Suleman is $23,225 behind in her mortgage payments and the three-bedroom house could be sold at an auction beginning May 5, documents say.

Suleman has said that she was raising her six children in her mother’s home and planned to raise her newborn octuplets there. (Source: CNN)

Although Ms Suleman has set up a website to collect donations to help her, most of those who are facing forclosure aren’t famous and don’t have that luxury.

How has the recent economic downturn affected you? How are you coping?

If you are facing forclosure, our article Facing Forclosure may be of interest to you, or feel free to contact us privately if you just need a listening ear.

Celebrities are going from maternity ward to magazine cover with their little bundles of joy poking out of monogrammed baby blankets. What gets me is the invisible price tag tied to the baby’s pinky toe that celebrity parents are selling the photos for.

A few high-profile examples:

Knox & Vivienne Jolie-Pitt -  10 million +

Max & Emme Anthony (J.Lo’s twins) – 6 million

Shiloh Jolie-Pitt – 4.1 million

Levi Alves McConaughey – 3 million

Honor Warren (Jessica Alba’s daughter) -  1.5 million

The photographs of something sacred, a new and beautiful life, are being marketed for money. Maybe celebrity parents figure publications will get their hands on the photos some way or another anyways so it might as well be on their terms. Maybe it’s just for the money. Maybe it’s to shove their own profile higher or, in the Jolie-Pitt’s case, it’s for charity.

How do you feel about celebrities selling their baby photos? If you were a celebrity, would you sell pictures of your newborn?

(Image credit: JeremyHall)