“Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us.” (Luke 11:14)

Imagine you’re doing work on a deck and you fall on a rusty nail. It’s a small puncture but you keep working. Meanwhile, anaerobic bacteria begin to metabolize and cause infection. You don’t treat it and soon you have lockjaw, facial spasms, difficulty swallowing, and muscle rigidity. You start to get full body spasms and they continue for weeks until one day you die… if you don’t treat it.

Sin is the same way. It loves to fester in a grudge. The puss and poison of bitterness will eat away at your soul and enslave you… if you don’t treat it.

But treating it is hard. It’s open-heart surgery. We feel justified in our grudges! We think our bitterness is warranted and our rage is necessary for justice. Justice? Consider our Lord Jesus Christ:

He was crushed for our iniquities.

He took up our pain.

He bore our suffering.

He was stabbed for our sin.

His punishment brings us peace.

His wounds heal us.

We receive unwarranted forgiveness every day. We must also give it. The giving and receiving are two in one. Love God and your neighbor by accepting forgiveness and also forgiving.

Recall the people who have hurt you. Have you forgiven them? Reach back in your memory to your childhood and ask, “Does hate still linger there?”

Don’t listen to the voice that tells you, “Things are fine, let’s move on.” Search your heart. Ask the Holy Spirit to search you as well. Uproot and kill the weeds of hate in your soul and humble yourself before God and man. Ask for forgiveness and be made new right now.

Lord, I understand that my salvation is not fair. You forgave me when I did not deserve it. And so, as I have been forgiven, so I must forgive. Holy Spirit, help me give up my grudge. Draw out the poison from my heart. In Jesus’ name I rebuke the unclean spirits in my heart and confess I have allowed them to fester. I repent and ask that you Lord Jesus to make me new. Cleanse me oh God from all unrighteousness. I trust you to heal and cleanse me and praise you for being the Great Physician. Amen.

How can we pray for you today?

“For I envied the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.” (Psalm 73:3)

That’s not fair, it really isn’t.  With wrinkled tissue in hand, we stomp our feet in frustration. We had asked, prayed and pleaded. But, to our utter disappointment, God still said “no.”

Have you been there? God didn’t smile at us with the answer we wanted. But that’s not the worst. We look around and what do we see? We see those who don’t follow God’s instructions. Don’t know God’s Word…not even attend church. But, they seemingly live happy, trouble-free lives.

“What’s with that, God?” we want to ask.

Confusion adds to the sense of injustice. But not to worry. We don’t have to know how to express that bewilderment. David did that for us:

I almost lost my footing. My feet were slipping, and I was almost gone. For I envied the proud when I saw them prosper despite their wickedness. They seem to live such painless lives; their bodies are so healthy and strong. They don’t have troubles like other people; they’re not plagued with problems like everyone else. They wear pride like a jeweled necklace and clothe themselves with cruelty. These fat cats have everything their hearts could ever wish for!” (Psalm 73:2-7 The Message).

Like David, I don’t let up my rant. This is not the way it should be. Why do they have it so good? Lord, after all, I’m not a bad chica. I really deserve better. But “[t]hen I realized that my heart was bitter, and I was all torn up inside. I was so foolish and ignorant—I must have seemed like a senseless animal to you. Yet I still belong to you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny. Whom have I in heaven but you? I desire you more than anything on earth. My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever” (Psalm 73:21-26).

Father, thank you, in your loving way, you set me straight. I will trust in your ways, look to your justice, count on your healing and expect your glorious solutions. You are fair with your love that extends to those who call upon you. In Jesus name. Amen

Questions: Whom do you desire more than God? When looking at your difficult situation, is He enough? What brings you out of despair?

”Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.” (Ephesians 4:31)

Recently I was hiking in the mountains. Somehow a little stone got into my shoe.   I knew it was there and quite aggravating, but I never stopped to take it out.  The views were so breath taking, I got distracted. Can you believe it, the next day I felt that same stone which I had not taken the time to remove.

Isn’t that just like bitterness? It begins small.  It is irritating and it affects what we are doing. If not dealt with it begins to gnaw at our life. Each step I took, I knew the stone was there.  When bitterness is harbored in our lives, it stays with us throughout the day. It controls our thought life, marriage, home life, our day to day relationships and our work suffers.

The Apostle Paul saw this in the life of fellow believers.  He understood that bitterness takes hold of our minds and controls our existence.  He wrote,

”For I see that you are full of bitterness and captive to sin.” (Acts 8:23)

This is not a new concept.  King Solomon knew from his God-given wisdom that bitterness zaps us of joy. Because of this, we can’t enjoy day to day life.

“Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy.” (Proverbs 14:10)

Life is not an easy hike in the forest. We hit bumps and stumps with level and uneven places.  No argument from me.  However, we also have some wonderful breath-taking moments when we can see though despite all the unevenness of our life, there is time for reprieve and healing.  When we can sit back, empty the stone in our shoe, and begin again, our heart will heal, the bitterness will subside and we can move ahead.  Bitterness can easily creep back in so we have to continually be aware of that ‘stone in our shoe’.  Throw it out….ask God to help walk without this stone of bitterness.

”Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.” (Ephesians 4:31)

Is there a stone in your shoe?  What is hurting your soul right now? Ask God to release you from it.  Begin to enjoy life and all its breath-taking moments again and let the stone dribble out.  Start to see the quiet things in your life that are important…a touch of a pet, an encouraging word from a co-worker, or maybe a walk in a park to see the handiwork of God.  Flip your shoe over and release the bitterness out.  Slowly begin to see the joy in life.

Write out 3 positive words or phrases to help you face today.  Figuratively, take your shoe off and dump out that stone that is controlling your life.  On goes the shoe and on goes your day.

Father God, You know each of the stones in our shoes.  They hurt and it is painful.  I pray that we will take the step to throw it out, knowing You are there to help us and cheer us on.  Give us Your comfort and direction as we walk ahead.  Let bitterness dissipate and let Your Joy fill us with your Spirit.  Help us, because we know there will always be stones so we need your strength. Thank you.  In Jesus name, Amen.

Related:
Do You Want True Forgiveness?

Of course, forgiveness will never be easy or straightforward. It takes time for wounds to fully heal. Have been holding on to bitterness and are reluctant to forgive someone? Is it time to seek reconciliation instead?

Take our interactive Fly Away follow-up study to explore this issue and receive a personal reply via email or use this form to talk to a mentor about forgiving or being forgiven. We’re here to listen and will respond confidentially.

Related:
Explore what this video means to you through our “Fly Away” interactive online study
Talk to a mentor about forgiveness
Continue to watch the follow-up “Fly Away” music video!

A fine line seems to separate hurt from a deep revengeful sense of bitterness. The difficulty is in knowing when we cross that line. Bitterness is an ugly gripping anger that seeks everything ugly and painful on those individuals who have hurt us. Take this study to learn how to deal with pain so that bitterness doesn’t take root.

Is your spouse addicted to porn and you’re feeling lonely, isolated and unloved?  We have people waiting to pray for you.

“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6:14-15).

“Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others” (Colossians 3:13).

“But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too. But if you refuse to forgive, your Father in heaven will not forgive your sins” (Mark 11:25-26).

One of the hardest things I have ever had to do was forgive someone who didn’t ask for it. I think it is easier for me to forgive if the forgive-ee is at least sorry for what they did. I mean, when they are sorry, we sort of win, right?

When we refuse to forgive someone who we believe has wronged us it begins to compound into animosity and bitterness. Unforgiveness leads to a grudge, and holding a grudge is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. It is only going to make you feel worse, and perhaps worst of all, the other person won’t feel a thing. Let’s be honest here, we really just want them to feel bad about hurting us, don’t we?

Being the bigger person is never easy, rarely well received but always the right choice. The Bible is clear that the consequence for withholding forgiveness from others is that we will not be forgiven by God. I sit here and think about that last statement, is there really anything in this world that someone could do to me, that would be worth me having to stand before the throne and not be covered by the forgiveness given to me? Forgiveness that I didn’t deserve or earn, but that was freely given.

Lord, Thank you for your grace and mercy. Thank you for forgiving me. Help me to forgive others. Amen

Questions: Why do we struggle so much to forgive? What is the result of unforgiveness?

Are you feeling overwhelmed by guilt? This is a safe place. Talk to us.

A vague idea that things will work out eventually isn’t what we need. No, we need something solid to cling to, something that is true and will never fail.

The prophet Jeremiah understood the feeling of affliction. Evil surrounded him; no one would listen to him. He was persecuted and thrown into prison because he spoke the words God gave him. In the midst of his trouble, through the power of the Holy Spirit, he penned some of the most powerful words to address despair ever written.

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed.”
“God’s compassions never fail.”
“Great is God’s faithfulness.”

This is truth; a solid place for us to stand in the midst of desperate trials. God is faithful. God never fails to show compassion. God’s great love is the reason will we survive. Though you may not feel it today, these words are true. I urge you to repeat them – out loud, if necessary – until your heart feels what your head knows.

Gracious Heavenly Father, thank you for Your faithfulness. Thank you for Your great love. You are my reason to hope. Help me to cling to this truth. Amen.

TAKE THE NEXT STEP: Lord, I want to trust you but I don’t know how!

Questions: How does repeating what you know to be true change your feelings? Why is God’s great love our reason to hope?

About the Author Suzanne Benner

Take this study to learn how to deal with pain so that bitterness doesn’t take root.

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger… Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:31,32).

Cathy had been deeply hurt by her father’s rejection. When the opportunity came for her to move away, she took it. I can now forget about my father’s rejection, she thought, and get on with my life.

But Cathy discovered that bitterness is like a sliver. If  left alone, it will fester and get worse and worse. It will poison us and all our relationships  including our relationship with God. We must release the hurt to Jesus. We must let Him pull out the sliver. How? By confessing the sin of bitterness to God and to the person who hurt us. Only then can God heal us of the hurt.

At first, Cathy found this most unfair. “He’s the one who hurt me,” she said. “He ought to be the first one to ask for forgiveness.” But he didn’t. Cathy began to realize that if she wanted to grow in her relationship with God, she’d have to make the first move. She’d have to ask her father to forgive her. She grabbed a pen and began to write, ”Dear Dad, I want to ask you to forgive me. I’ve had resentment in my heart towards you, and I know I’ve hurt you. I love you, Cathy.”

“Something happened to me that day while I was writing the letter,” she said. “Something unclean and ugly left me, like I had pulled the plug on sink full of dirty water. I didn’t feel angry toward my dad anymore. And for the first time, I could actually feel God’s love for me.”

A month later, her father responded with a letter asking her to forgive him. The healing of a relationship had begun. Even if her father had not responded favorably, Cathy would still have benefited. Being free of resentment, she could now grow in love and confidence towards God, herself, and other  people.

Do you have resentment and bitterness in your heart? The Bible says, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger.” How?  By turning it over to Jesus. Not once or twice, but as many times as it comes to mind. Eventually, you will be free of the hurt and compassion will take it’s place.

Lord Jesus, I give you this hurt and bitterness. I do not want to carry it anymore. I want to forgive the person who’s hurt me just as You have forgiven me. I want to be a channel of your love. Amen.

TAKE THE NEXT STEP: What do you do when church hurts?

PS. This story is told in He Raised Me Up To Stand on Mountains You can order it here.

Questions: Is there someone in your life that you carry resentment towards?  What will be your first step in order to get rid of the bitterness?

About the Author Helen Grace Lescheid

Are you feeling overwhelmed by guilt?  We want to pray for you.

Beth was only in her thirties when her beloved husband died. Four months later her second child was born.  She felt as if her whole world had fallen apart, and her heart was filled with bitterness.  The joy of the Lord she had known disappeared and she became cold spiritually.

For two long years Beth wandered through desert places mentally, emotionally and spiritually.  Although she continued teaching Sunday school at her church, her heart wasn’t in it.  She went through the motions of living, but that was all.

Beth knew she wasn’t right with God, and sometimes doubts besieged her.  “I’m not fit to serve God,” she’d think.  “I should resign my positions in the church.  With the attitudes I’ve had, will I ever be fit again to serve the Lord?”

Then one night Beth had a strange dream. She was walking down a dusty little path that led to a crude, unpainted shed.  Its door was open and she walked in.

An elderly man, clad in a cobbler’s apron, was molding some damp, red clay into a watering vessel.  Instinctively she knew he was making cups, urns, and pots for service.  Behind him on the shelf were some beautifully decorated ones, along with some others.  Then just as she espied a large plain vessel, it fell off the shelf.

The man paid no attention to Beth, but bent over and picked up the cracked and broken vessel.  Holding it masterfully, he reached into an urn nearby, dipped his fingers into warm molten wax, and began to seal the broken vessel with the wax.  When he finished mending it, he placed it back on the shelf behind him.

Then leaning forward, he put his warm hand on Beth’s shoulder. “‘Tis better a broken vessel mended and sealed by the Holy Spirit, that is yielded and willing to serve,” he whispered, “than a vessel perfect, without flaw, ornate and beautifully decorated, but unwilling to serve!”

Then Beth woke up. The doubts that she could ever be used of the Lord again because of transgressions of the immediate past were gone.  Tears of joy mingled with tears of repentance flowed freely.  She felt the warm wax of the Holy Spirit pour over her wounded spirit in healing power.  The crack of bitterness that had come into her broken heart at the death of her husband had healed, and she was sealed and mended with the wax of God’s love.

Questions: Why do we have to go through such trials in this life? Why do some people go through more trials than others? Why doesn’t God use his strength to protect us from terrible trials?

About the Author Muriel Larson