It may seem a curious thing: People who claim to follow the teachings of Christ thankful for his death? Calling their remembrance of it, “Good” Friday? Nice church-going folks wearing the equivalent of electric chairs around their necks? (The Roman cross being one of the most brutal instruments of capital punishment known to man.)

For followers of Christ – and I am one – his death is all about redemption, “the purchase back of something that had been lost, by the payment of a ransom” …

To explore this topic further, please explore the full article, A Good Friday?

What meaning does this holiday carry for you? Do you plan to do anything to celebrate it?

Image: 17th century painting by Diego Velázquez

The divinely-inspired dedication, written by Helen Keller, brought me to tears. Her words, “The best and most wonderful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, but must be felt with the heart,” seemed to be written just for me. Thank goodness, my dear mentor and prayer partner was there to comfort and encourage me as I purchased the lovely painting. She understood my lingering grief and the new found freedom I’d recently found in an abortion recovery program. She, too, had chosen abortion in her past, and had supported me during the twelve-week healing group.

Although, unexpected, this was the moment I’d been waiting for since my completion of G.R.A.C.E. — a program at my church, appropriately titled God Redeems Abortion with a Compassionate Embrace. God used this incredible ministry to bring freedom, forgiveness, and wholeness to my broken life.

I remember, months prior, sitting in church and watching the big screen where classes, Bible studies, and other ministry advertisements were featured in full-color before the services. Every time I saw the notice for the G.R.A.C.E. Group, I would cringe then quickly tell myself that I was over “all that.” After all, God had forgiven me, hadn’t He? Why look back at the past?

Indeed, God had forgiven me for my decisions to abort, however, I had not accepted His mercy, nor had I forgiven myself. Like so many other wounded women, I, too, was under the misguided belief that abortion was somehow the unforgivable sin. I couldn’t seem to accept that God’s grace covered everything. Finally, I surrendered and decided that this group couldn’t hurt; maybe it would help heal the ache in my heart, and I was tired of aching.

For years, I’d tried to cover that ever-present heartache with drugs, smoking, promiscuity, shopping, and compulsive eating. I’d act as if I believed abortion was acceptable and that I had made the right choice, yet my addictive behaviors and intense emotions proved otherwise. I was hoping to fill my hungry and hurting heart with something, with anything.

When I accepted Christ and allowed Him to peel away the sins of my past, I could no longer hide the anguish abortion had caused. After all, God has a way of bringing up those areas we need to work on … over and over again until we pay attention. I could no longer ignore this broken part of myself. In order to grow deeper in Christ, I had to dig out all the weeds still stunting the growth in my personal garden.

While participating in the abortion recovery group, I experienced a surprising surge of love from God and the other women. I realized for the first time I wasn’t alone. Others had experienced the same shame, remorse, and anger in relation to their past abortions. This understanding gave me new hope. By realizing I wasn’t alone, I opened the door to additional healing steps.

• The right to grieve. We have a right to grieve the loss of a child or children. For years, I’d denied myself that natural right. I assumed because I had chosen to end a life that I had no right to my grief. I finally mourned my losses. Over time, the pain lessened.
• Admit responsibility. In spite of the grief and pain, for many post-abortive women, denial is strong. It is easy to blame others for our decisions. Granted we were all influenced by others and possibly even pressured to end a pregnancy. Ultimately, though, we are still responsible.
• Understand the responsibility of others. In some situations, women believe they alone are completely liable. However, there are always two people involved in a pregnancy. Add the influence of parents, family, friends, boyfriends, husbands, and the abortion providers themselves, and we have a ton of outside voices prodding us to make a decision. Understanding that others are also part of the process is very helpful. Forgiving them is critical.
• Forgive self and others. God tells us that if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive our sins and purify us from ALL unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9. We are also reminded that ALL have sinned and have fallen short of God’s glory. Everyone makes mistakes. Every person on this planet sins. Embracing God’s love and forgiveness, allows us to find healing and wholeness. Learning to forgive others releases the grip resentment and bitterness has on our lives.
• Give your babies to God. Accepting that my children now reside in the presence of the best Father ever, has allowed me to experience peace. Recognizing that there are no tears, no pain, no suffering for these little ones can be liberating. The words of King David, whose sin led to the death of his beloved son, provide great insight and comfort. In 2 Samuel 12:23 David explains why he no longer grieves. He says, “But now that he is gone, why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me.” We will be reunited with our children in Heaven. They are loved and cherished by God, just as we are.

Lastly, group members were challenged to create a memorial to honor and remember their child or children. Some women purchased remembrance plaques for the National Memorial for the Unborn, and others made special gifts. In my case, God led me to the amazing painting that I can see as I type these words. It reminds me that God holds my babies with all His children, close to His heart in Heaven.

Yes, the healing process has been challenging. Yet I can’t begin to imagine my life without God’s grace and the love from other supportive women. Never in my wildest dreams could I have predicted that I’d be openly writing and speaking publicly about abortion, but God has a funny way of taking those heartbreaking situations in our life and turning them around for His glory. He will do the same for you.

Won’t you allow Him to heal you?

If you’ve had an abortion please pray the following prayer and join an abortion recovery group in your area.

Dear Lord,
Your Word tells me that you love me with an everlasting and unfaltering love. It says that if I confess my sins to You that You are faithful and just and will forgive me. I confess that I made a very poor decision. I chose to end the life of my precious baby. My heart breaks over my sin. I have been burdened by guilt, shame, remorse, and anger. I have refused to accept that Your death was enough to cover this particular sin. That is a lie from the devil. You have mercy on us and forgive our sins, no matter what they might be. Right now, I release all my pain and heartache into Your capable hands. I trust You to care for my little one/s until I come home to Heaven someday. I know they are safe with You. Please lead me to a loving group of women who can help me fully experience Your love and forgiveness. In Jesus’ Name I pray. Amen.

Did you pray this prayer? Do you want to talk to someone who can come alongside you as you walk through the healing process? Talk to an email mentor who will listen, pray and support you.

New beginnings can happen any day at any time. A new beginning always involves leaving one thing behind and embracing something new and different. However, sometimes, new beginnings may not be of our own choosing or liking. Maybe the worker didn’t expect or want the promotion; yet, a new beginning has been thrust upon her. The alcoholic, on the other hand, has clearly made a choice to try a different path evidenced by the dumping of his precious liquor. Both have entered a time of new beginnings. And although the birth of a child and the death of a loved one appear very different, they both have two things in common: an end and a beginning.

It can be excruciatingly difficult to walk through the doorway of a new season in life. How do we effectively live in the midst of a new beginning that we didn’t expect, or even want? What can we do to give God glory when our circumstances are not only new, but also extremely painful? Anytime we let go of something old there is discomfort, even pain. Anytime we lose something or someone of great importance we experience a great sense of loss, even hopelessness. Yet it’s comforting to remember that the seemingly greatest loss of all, the murder of Jesus Christ on a filthy Roman cross, resulted in the best New Beginning ever — a resurrected Christ.

His New Beginning and New Life allow us to live our lives to the fullest regardless of what we’ve lost or let go of. For in Christ, we are never alone. We are always loved. We can always expect the best from God. He sees far beyond our pain and suffering and has a way of making every new beginning beneficial to us and to those around us — if we’ll let Him. How can we thrive and even discover peace and joy during the process of letting go? There is a way…God’s Way!

The following acronym has reminded me that the best way to experience a New Beginning is to Lean On God.

• L: Live in the truth
  Whether you’re battling a tempting addiction, or grieving an untimely loss, a key to embracing any new beginning is to stay grounded in the truth — God’s Truth — God’s Word. Without a foundation of truth, we are prone to fall prey to lies, lies that increase our pain and keep us from growing and moving forward.

  “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” – John 8:32 NIV

• E: Enlist others for support
  New Beginning times are best faced in the safety net of a group of caring and competent Christian friends. God is relational. Jesus was not a lone ranger. He was surrounded by His inner circle of disciples. We, too, will find support, encouragement, and help from others who have experienced similar circumstances, if we are open their aid.

  “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:13 NIV

• A: Approach God boldly
  With Jesus at the right hand of God we have the amazing opportunity to approach our Heavenly King with boldness and confidence. In the Psalms, David gave us the perfect example of how to cry out to God in every conceivable manner. Even in our anger, our anguish, and our anxiety. We need not face anything without God’s help. Go to Him boldly, after all, He tells us we can.

  “In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence.” Ephesians 3:12 NIV

• N: Never give up
  Never give up! Remember no matter what our present circumstance may look like, no matter how difficult letting go might be, with God, we win in the end. It may appear that we are loosing, but, ultimately, goodness and glory can grow in the midst of a new beginning. We must keep our eyes focused on our Leader, and remember to keep putting one foot in front of the other until we cross the finish line.

  “…I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:14 NIV

• O: Overcome obstacles
  When we’re in the midst of letting go we can find ourselves burdened by a barrage of obstacles — things on our path that can keep us from walking through the door of a better tomorrow. Certainly feelings of grief and heartache can be part of the new beginning process. Lingering negative feelings and thoughts can become obstacles that keep us stuck. With God’s help and the support of others, we can continue forward, getting rid of whatever holds us back.

  “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” Romans 12:21

• N: Neutralize the enemy
  The Bible is very clear that we, as Christians, have an enemy. This enemy of our souls would like to destroy us and keep us from accepting God’s plan for our lives. We can disarm this devil by utilizing the armor our Commander and King so generously provides. Put on the armor daily.

  “Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes. You may be able to stand your ground…” Ephesians 6:13a

• G: Go forward with God
  This is much like “don’t give up.” New beginnings can be scary and we can find ourselves paralyzed, afraid to take another step. We don’t need to continue by our own power. In fact, our limited human power won’t be enough, but with God, all things are possible. Allow Him to lead, as you lean on Him.

  “I can do everything through him who gives me strength”-Philippians 4:13 NIV

• O: Open your eyes
  Take a look around at the beauty surrounding you on your journey. As you embrace your new beginning, you will discover (if you open your eyes) the wondrous ways God is working in and around you. From a bubbling brook to the salty surf God is present. Even in your darkest hour if you look you can see His light.

  “Ah, Sovereign Lord , you have made the heavens and earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you.” Jeremiah 32:17

• D: Decide to worship
  Praising God in the midst of any situation brings blessings far beyond our greatest expectations. When freedom from a bondage or addiction is your new beginning it is only natural to praise your Deliverer. When a new beginning is the result of loss, worship may seem at first out of place, but consider Paul, praising God from within his prison chamber. Worship touches the very heart to God, and in turn He will touch yours. Worship God and expect the best.

Lean on God and expect one glorious new beginning after another. Each new day we can be filled afresh with the power of the Holy Spirit who will help us in our new beginnings. Won’t you invite Him to fill you afresh right now?

Father in Heaven,

I am so grateful that You sent Your Holy Spirit to be our helper as we walk the Christian life here on this Earth. Thank you for the power He brings as He fills us up and gives us strength and courage beyond ourselves to face the new beginnings in our lives. Today I ask You to create in me a clean heart. I ask You to fill me a fresh with the power of Your Spirit. Help me to be aware of each step I take and to do it with your help. In Jesus’ powerful name I pray, amen.

As a woman, with a family, a home, and a career (oh, and let’s not forget writing, speaking, and attending every Little League Baseball game that my son plays) it is difficult to determine when to say no, yes, maybe, or even can I get back to you?   For women, I believe setting boundaries and limits is crucial to physical, emotional, and spiritual well being.  Not to mention the well being of those around us! I know when I respond with two many “yes’s” when my gut is screaming no, those around me can expect a poorly targeted retort.  Because when we don’t say what we need to say, or do what we need to do, our frustration simmers just beneath the surface, like lava in an active volcano.  You know the rest.  Sooner or later, that volcano is going to spew some pretty hot stuff.  We must find a way to keep our inner volcano from erupting inappropriately on those around us.

Stand your ground

Certainly, there are some deep, life-long issues that may lead us to become boundary-lacking ladies.  However, one key element for not creating and keeping our own personal boundaries is fear.  Fear of them, whoever they are, getting mad, or acting frustrated about our limit setting.   I have also found in my own life and in working with numerous women, we tend to worry about not appearing nice enough, kind enough, or loving enough.  It is very difficult to grasp that often times the most loving thing we can do for someone is to say NO.  No, I will not give you more money for alcohol or drugs.  No, I choose not to pay your rent this month.  No, I am not going to stand here while you yell and scream at me.  The list could go on and on.  NO is not a bad word.  We can say no, with love.  Because when we want to say it, and we don’t, we end up resentful and the other person can feel those pre-eruption tremors from a mile away.

A simple formula

For me, I have created a simple formula to guide me in living a balanced, and boundary based life.  First, learn what my own limits are.  If I don’t know what I like, what my values are, or what I won’t tolerate, it is going to be challenging to create fully functioning boundaries that others respect.  There was an old saying that went like this:  “If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything.”  What do you stand for?  What are you willing to compromise?  For me, it is very helpful to have a guidebook of what is right and wrong.  The Bible is the one source that I rely on for determining what I stand for.

Now the Bible talks an awful lot about loving and giving.  In fact, God makes it very clear we are to love others.  But, even Jesus, took time away from his work to rest and retreat.  He often left the crowds behind to go and pray, or talk with those closest to Him, His Disciples.  What we can learn from this example is that we too need to have times where we are alone, or with loved ones.  Time that is spent taking care of ourselves.

Take time for yourself

Exercising, praying, reading, journaling, scrap booking, visiting, even napping; the list could go on and on.  What do you need to do for you in order to retreat temporarily from the needs of others and to refuel your own engine?  When we take time for ourselves it is amazing how much more we have to give to others.  We are able to say yes joyfully and purposefully.

Expect some challenges

If you have been a woman who says yes to everyone, and everything, it will be surprising to those around you when you finally say the big NO and actually stick to it.  If you have been the person at work, who stayed late at the expense of your family and health, know when you begin to set boundaries you will probably see some surprised faces as others have to step up and be responsible for themselves.

As we become women of balance and boundaries, we will have more energy, time, and love to share with others. We don’t have to do this all alone either.  For most of us, we will need to enlist the support of other caring women to help encourage us as we begin to re-balance our lives, and for some of us we may need to consider professional counseling as a tool toward change.  Most importantly though, we have an incredible power source that is available to us day and night–A Savior that died so we would never have to go through any of life’s challenges and hardships alone.  Learn from the most loving person of all, Jesus Christ.  He will show you how to love, lead, live, and how to set loving boundaries.  Why not reach out to others and up to Him now?  A balanced life with healthy limits are just a prayer away.

Take a look at your life.  How would you describe it? Contented? Rushed? Exciting? Stressful? Moving forward? Holding back? For many of us it’s all of the above at times.  There are things we dream of doing one day, there are things we wish we could forget.  In the Bible, it says that Jesus came to make all things new.  What would your life look like if you could start over with a clean slate?

Living with hope

If you are looking for peace, there is a way to balance your life. No one can be perfect, or have a perfect life. But every one of us has the opportunity to experience perfect grace through a personal relationship with God through His Son, Jesus Christ.

You can receive Christ right now by faith through prayer. Praying is simply talking to God. God knows your heart and is not so concerned with your words as He is with the attitude of your heart. Here’s a suggested prayer:

Lord Jesus, I want to know you personally. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life to you and ask you to come in as my Savior and Lord. Take control of my life. Thank you for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Make me the kind of person you want me to be.

Does this prayer express the desire of your heart? You can pray it right now, and Jesus Christ will come into your life, just as He promised.

Is this the life for you?

If you invited Christ into your life, thank God often that He is in your life, that He will never leave you and that you have eternal life. As you learn more about your relationship with God, and how much He loves you, you’ll experience life to the fullest.

For me, these were serious questions. After three months of unemployment, during the recent recession, I received a job proposal. After only a few weeks in my new position, additional time off work started sounding pretty good! I had come to enjoy the long, leisurely times alone with my Heavenly Father, the extra quality time with my family and friends, not to mention the availability to participate more fully in church activities. Now, although it was necessary that I work for financial reasons, I felt ungrateful for this new job – the very job I had prayed and petitioned for! Feeling guilty about my attitude, and my ongoing struggle to keep from falling into negativity while at work, I cried out to God again – this time for Him to show me how to be a light in the darkness of my office, and for the strength to do what He wanted to further His kingdom.

Three temptations in the workplace

Most working adults spend an average of 30 to 50 hours, per week, at their jobs. The workplace can become a home away from home, an extended family – a dysfunctional family – where what I call “Three C’s” – criticizing, condemning and complaining – can unfortunately become commonplace. It is very challenging to spend day after day with people of different opinions, work styles, beliefs, and attitudes. For me it became nearly unbearable.

Deliverance from negativity

The Scripture explaining the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22) came to mind as I cried out to my Savior for deliverance from my growing feelings of negativity and dissatisfaction in regard to my new, God-given, job.

Amazingly, with much of God and little of me, I converted several qualities of the Spirit; love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control into what I promoted at work as the “Five Cs.” These God-inspired “Five Cs” made it onto the front page of our company newsletter, which was inserted into over 1,000 paychecks! These principles became the positive, to-live-by motto, around my home away from home–work. After this discovery, it didn’t really matter how or what others were doing or saying. What mattered was that I had reopened myself to the power of the Holy Spirit, who changed my heart and renewed my mind in the process! The “Five Cs” demonstrated to my co-workers the following five key points:

1. Compassion - Learn to show concern and care for those around us. Instead of judging and condemning, why not extend a friendly or encouraging comment, or offer to help? Ask yourself, am I helpful, or hurtful? A team player, or a self-seeker? For me that meant delivering a thank-you card for a coworker who went out of her way to help me, and saying thank you…often.

2. Character - Becoming a person of character is a lifelong process, but one well worth the effort. How can we demonstrate integrity, confidence, truth, and respect? By living it! Ask yourself today; am I someone worthy of respect? Can others count on me to do and say…what I say I’m going to do? Am I trustworthy, or do I gossip and complain? “Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable,” we’re reminded in Romans 12:17b (NLT). For me this has meant that when my mouth opens to spew negative statements, I quickly shut it.

3. Can-do-attitude - Practice demonstrating energy and enthusiasm in your daily activities–enthusiasm is contagious. We may not always feel it, but something amazing happens when we smile. Putting on a positive attitude is like sprinkling a spicy, tasty seasoning mix on an otherwise boring entree–delicious! Ask, am I a person that others enjoy being around? Am I helpful, energetic? Or…do I come across as negative and uninterested? Romans 12:11 challenges us: “Never be lazy in your work, but serve the Lord enthusiastically” (NLT).

4. Confidence - Walking with confidence is not the same as walking with a cocky, know-it-all-attitude. Confidence is when we believe in ourselves, and our ability to get the job done. It means we are going to do our best and be all that we can be, everyday. Do I have confidence in my ability and skills? Our confidence does not come from us alone, but must come first from our all-powerful Heavenly Father. He is the one true source of our faith and complete confidence, with Him as our Helper, we need not fear (from Hebrews 13:6). For He does not leave us if we seek Him!(from Psalm 9:10)

5. Calmness - The waters at work can be rough and choppy, but those who are able remain calm and steadfast will be highly sought out and respected by their teammates. The disciples sought Jesus to calm the storm raging around their boat. He stopped the roaring waves with a command and His followers were in awe! (from Matthew 23-27) Ask yourself, am I a tornado roaring through the day, or a spring breeze? Most likely you, like me, will fall somewhere in-between. What a great time it is to begin to tame your stormy side!

Remember… with God, all things truly are possible –even teaching 1,000 employees godly principles with a simple five-step plan. With Him, we can change our attitudes, thoughts, and choices. He will change our hearts, at work and home.

Maybe you’re struggling with your attitude today. Or perhaps you desire to better model God’s love and character to those around you. You can ask God right now to fill you with His Holy Spirit, whom He promised would guide us in all things.

Why not pray this simple prayer and by faith invite God to fill you with His Spirit:

Dear Father, I need you. I acknowledge that I have sinned against you by directing my own life. I thank you that You have forgiven my sins through Christ’s death on the cross for me. I now invite Christ to again take His place on the throne of my life. Fill me with the Holy Spirit as You commanded me to be filled, and as You promised in Your Word that You would do if I asked in faith. I pray this in the name of Jesus. As an expression of my faith, I thank You for directing my life and for filling me with the Holy Spirit. Amen.

“Mom … please tell me what you bought me for my birthday. Please …!”

I had a choice. I could allow her to unwrap the gift early, spoiling the joy and excitement of waiting for her actual birthday, or, I could help her understand the value of patience, trusting the future blessing would be well worth the wait.

After all, there’s just something special that happens when we wait for that special-something we desire. There are so many biblical instances of God’s people waiting for their promises to be fulfilled. We must assume that God is on a far different timetable than we are, and that He has a better plan than we could ever imagine.

So it is with sex. Yes, sex! I’m going to share a little secret; actually, it’s a topic clearly discussed in the pages of the Bible. This so-called secret is: God created sex. He did, really. God created sex to be a reflection of His perfect love between a man and a woman — a husband and a wife. It wasn’t immoral, or shameful until man made it that way. Sexual unions became polluted because waiting for marriage, and following God’s perfect guidelines and timelines, were considered too confining, too boring, and just too difficult. Instead, people of all ages are now opening the gift early, and rather then finding lasting emotional, physical, and spiritual pleasure, they are finding, at best, a temporary, physical substitute that never provides the ultimate pleasure God intended for us to experience.  Not to mention, an array of unpleasant and even deadly consequences that prevail today because of our impatience and desire to do things “our way.”

Let’s for a moment investigate the Garden of Eden, after all, that’s where this whole male/female relationship thing started, isn’t it?  Eve might share the following, if we had the opportunity to ask about her relationship.

Imagine, knowing only love and contentment. You awaken to find the love of your life gazing down at you while the crisp grass tickles your toes, and a lion saunters up to give you a playful lick on the cheek. During the day, you explore the most exquisite masterpiece of real-estate ever to hit the market, or world for that matter, and in the cool of the evening you sink your pearly whites into the most succulent fruits imaginable.

Then, as if that weren’t enough, you, your husband, and the King of Kings enjoy the dimming, dusk hours in deep, meaningful conversation where you are the apple of two sets of adoring eyes. Finally, you end the evening, following the most sensuous and fulfilling love making, snuggled securely in the arms of your mate, listening to the gentle tunes of nature’s very own nighttime symphony playing solely for you. Ummmmmm.

Life in the garden was good. God proclaimed the creation of man as “very good.” He was pleased with Adam and Eve. After all, they were made in His image, male and female. But, as we all know, this perfect existence, and the future of relationships, was forever altered when Eve, and later Adam, decided one afternoon to sink their teeth into the wrong piece of delicious fruit. Sin blasted into the world like a freezing artic wind, bringing death and destruction in its wake. Nakedness became shameful and relationships, including sex, became distorted. Along with all of God’s gifts, sex became counterfeited. Like fake hundred-dollar bills, sex doesn’t buy love or happiness unless it is experienced within the guidelines God created.

We spend a great deal of time, as Christians, talking about the evil of sex when wrongly used, and certainly, as history has clearly demonstrated, the consequences of refusing to follow our Creator’s perfect plan for sex are none too pretty. But what about the joy? Pleasure? The amazing intimacy that results from a healthy sexual relationship within a marriage relationship? Do we ever talk about that? We spend a great deal of time pointing out the negatives when simply sharing about the incredible benefits might serve us, others, and God much better. So, What are those benefits?

1. Sex in marriage is guilt-free and exciting. Listen to this:

“May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer – may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love.” [Proverbs 5:18-19 NIV]

Wow! Rejoicing, blessings, satisfaction, being captivated — marital sex can provide all this and more.

2. A healthy sexual relationship provides intimacy.

How delightful is your love, my sister, my bride!
How much more pleasing is your love than wine,
and the fragrance of your perfume than any spice!

Your lips drop sweetness as the honeycomb, my bride;
milk and honey are under your tongue.
The fragrance of your garments is like that of Lebanon.

You are a garden locked up, my sister, my bride;
you are a spring enclosed, a sealed fountain. (Song of Solomon 4: 10-12)

Not only does Solomon refer to his wife as his bride, but also as his sister, implying they share an intimate brother/sister of God relationship, which includes intimacy with each other and with God.

3. If adhered to, sex according to God’s perfect plan of a loving and committed life-long marriage would also eliminate:

• Extra-marital affairs
• Teen/crisis pregnancies
• STDs (no worries about sharing diseases when you’re with the husband/wife of your youth, always)
• Incest
• Pornography and prostitution

4. Staying within God’s boundaries allows for multiple blessings and a deeper relationship with God.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. (Mathew 5:9 NIV)

5. When we obey any of God’s guidelines we experience His love on a whole new level. As

…but showing love to a thousand {generations} of those who love me and keep my commandments. (Exodus 20:6 NIV)

Pleasure, protection, blessings, love, intimacy, excitement … are just a few of the amazing benefits to godly sex. Friends, God has our best interest in mind, always. When we follow Him, we truly experience rewards beyond our greatest expectations.

Some of you may feel discouragement and shame as you read this article because you did not follow God’s perfect plan for sex. Please know, God can make you brand new — right now. He can redeem you and set you free from the tentacles of shame that hold your heart captive. Through Christ, we can be restored, renewed, and redeemed. Those of us, who have missed the mark, can still experience the blessings of a godly marriage and healthy sexual relationship, if we’re willing to accept God’s forgiveness and trust in Him.

God’s Word tells us:

He is able to deal gently with those who are ignorant and are going astray, since he himself is subject to weakness. Hebrews 5:2 (NIV) And by that will, we have been made holy through the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ once for all. (Hebrews 10:10 NIV)

For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive by the Spirit (1 Peter 2:18 NIV)

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9 NIV)

We may never recapture those first moments as shared between Adam and Eve in the Garden, but, with God’s plan for sex and marriage, we can experience joy and pleasure by knowing that God’s blessings rest upon us. Healthy sex  is one gift worth waiting for. Don’t unwrap it ahead of time. Instead, wait for God’s best.

If you have fallen in the area of sexual relations, please pray the following prayer and expect God’s best.

Dear Lord, your Word tells us that if we come to You in repentance, You will forgive our sins and purify us. I have missed Your standard in the area of sexual purity. I have ________________ (had premarital sex, committed adultery, etc.) and fallen short of your glory.  I so desire to experience a godly marriage with a solid and fulfilling sexual relationship. You created sex to be enjoyed within the marriage covenant. I choose to wait for Your best for me. I will no longer settle for what is not pleasing to You, what harms me, and hurts others. Help me to find healing. Fill me with Your Holy Spirit.  I now look forward to experiencing sex Your Way with all Your benefits.. In Jesus’ Name Amen.

“One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of his palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing. The woman was very beautiful, and David sent someone to find out about her” (2 Samuel 11:2-3).

What in the world was David thinking? He was a King who had it all. Most importantly, he had the blessing of God Almighty. Unfortunately, he, like so many of us, allowed his thoughts to ignite in him a desire to do something that he would later regret—horribly.  Now I am not suggesting that we all have committed the sins of adultery and murder.  But based on our thoughts … maybe we have? Possibly, somewhere in the process of our thoughts of revenge, or coveting a friend’s new home, or wishing for a kinder husband. The point is, at times we all have thoughts that are unpleasant, and far from righteous in our own lives.

The world has tapped in on a small piece of the truth, suggesting we must learn to manage our thought lives in order to be successful. However, the idea that all can be well through mere positive thinking is a false belief. Faith in positive thinking is insufficient; telling ourselves to think happy thoughts will not be enough as we fight the battle for our minds—and there is a battle. We need to discover the power of right thinking, which is learning to rely solely on God’s Word for the changes that we seek.

In Philippians 4:8, God’s word says,“Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.”

So, how do we do learn to focus on God’s goodness and learn the power of right thinking amidst a world that is throwing lies, seductions, and temptations our way? How do we avoid making a tragic mistake in our thinking, such as David did that night up on the rooftop so many centuries ago? I suspect that David’s thought life had begun to go awry for some time before he made the seemingly instantaneous decision that forever altered his and his ancestors’ lives. I believe if he had been living as directed in Philippians 4:8, he probably would have retained his integrity. We can learn from David’s, and many others’ mistakes, showcased in God’s Word, how to change our own thinking. What we think, good or bad, really does affect our actions and the course of our lives. There are several simple steps that will allow us to become “right thinkers.”

1. Live in God’s Word– There is no better way to change our thinking than to incorporate God’s Word into every aspect of our lives. If we make the habit of turning to His Word throughout our days, we will find our thoughts changing. I like to think of it as mealtime and grazing. Sometimes we will sit at the feet of Lord for a long time, in His Word, savoring it like a choice meal. But as people on the go, we may have days where we do a lot of “grazing” – brief moments of reading Scripture, or reciting a passage. This habit keeps our thoughts focused on what is good and pleasing when we don’t have a great deal of time for the luxury five-course meal.
2. Speak God’s Word – There is something to be said about reading God’s Word out loud, and in prayer. Creating a list of scriptures that help your thoughts stay focused on God, and His ways, can be extremely helpful. Read His precious words whenever you have the chance. When we are focused on God’s truth, our thinking is right, and wrong thoughts must move over and out!
3. Write God’s Word– In a journal or a notebook, take a moment to copy a section of Scripture, or write it out into your own personal prayer. There is something powerful about writing, just as it is powerful to speak God’s Word. These methods seem to drive the truth deeper into our souls, and we are able to remember the content better, which is great when our thinking strays, because the Scriptures we have been speaking, and reading, will come to mind – and to our rescue.
4. Include others– Building support and accountability is crucial to the process of right thinking. When we let others know what we are doing, and allow them to support us with truth and love, we more readily find success. When our words are not kind, or ungodly, a friend can gently ask us, “What are you thinking?” By enlisting others, we are able to stand for God’s truth, and pray for each other.
5. Pray – Of course, pray! We must invite God into our quest to conquer negative thinking. The power of His Holy Spirit will strengthen us as we move forward in this process, separating truth from lies.

Amazingly, somewhere along the way, our minds are renewed, just as God’s Word promises. An area of struggle is suddenly gone. A negative thought pattern has been replaced by God’s truth. We are more thankful and grateful for what we have. As we participate in the process of learning the power of right thinking, God, in His unlimited power, steps in and does the rest. The power of right thinking will be displayed by our right actions! Because, really, it is true: what we think = what we do.

“

“Pride leads to disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom” (Proverbs 11:2).

As I sat on the hard, frozen bleacher, my son swung his bat at the second pitch. “Strike two…!” The umpire called. I comforted myself with the fact that my little “all star” baseball player had not struck out once this season. Another fastball rocketed out of the pitcher’s hand, right down the center, over the plate… CRACK! The ball formed a perfect arc and sailed through the cloudy sky, shooting over the fence, and right out of the ballpark. I leapt to my feet with the other onlookers, as applause erupted around me.

“What are you feeding that kid?” A man’s voice joked. I continued to beam, thinking proudly, that’s my boy.

The compliments, pats on the back, and friendly jests continued for the rest of the game. I watched proudly as my son humbly accepted the praise from his peers, parents, and coaches. I graciously received the parental praise that came my way too. We were an undefeated baseball team – not bad, not bad at all.

As my son enjoyed his free home run hotdog, I observed several of his teammates chomping down their own snacks and rudely bragging about their victory to anyone who would listen. Several parents shot annoyed looks in their direction. I decided it was time to remind my son about the evil of pride. He listened carefully to my words and responded with godly wisdom well beyond his ten years. “I know, Mom. All I asked God to do was help me hit the ball. I thanked Him when I was running the bases.”

Wow! Now that statement was something to be proud of. His humble attitude would make an eternal difference far beyond his baseball hitting years. As the evening progressed, my thoughts continued to review the events of the earlier ball game. It was as if an instant replay camera in my head was on a permanent rotation. My son is very talented, handsome, smart and athletic. But he is just a boy. Not God. That may sound strange to some of you, but maybe you can relate. It is amazing how easily pride can creep into our hearts and minds. We can go from being proud to prideful in a split second if we’re not careful. I did. I fell asleep that night not thinking about my Heavenly Father, but thinking about my adorable son, and his giftedness.

Humbling myself before God

When I woke up the next day still focused on baseball, and then continued to think about it incessantly for the next week, I realized I had some business to settle immediately with my own Head Coach – God. As I reviewed my heart in prayer, it became evident that I had unknowingly fallen into a trap – a trap as old as the Garden of Eden. A trap that has caught many of us unaware – pride.

God gives us many gifts and our children are one of them. But they are never to take the place of our Savior. When our thoughts and emotions begin to “bow” to our children or their achievements, we are in a world of trouble. Thank goodness I was able, with God’s help, to recognize the trap I had stepped into. With Him, I was able to free myself from its clutches. Pride will destroy us if left unchecked. But with this simple daily plan, we can protect ourselves and release the pride trap if we accidentally trip up and fall in.

Breaking pride down

Breaking down the word “pride” into its acronym and converting each letter into a godly principle has helped me – I believe it can help you too!

• P: Pray – We need to remember to pray, without ceasing. An attitude of prayer and thanksgiving will go a long way in our fight against pride. It is very difficult to fall into the trap when we are lifting our praise and thanks heavenward.

• R: Repent – If we end up in the trap (which as humans, we will occasionally do), the best choice we can make is to repent and seek God’s forgiveness immediately. By repenting and regaining our thankful attitude we can step out of the pride-trap and re-enter God’s peace.

• I: Invite – Invite God everywhere – even to a baseball game. God loves our children more than we do. He is their greatest coach and cheerleader. With Him next to us in the bleachers we are less likely to fall into the temptation of toying with pride and its treacherous trap.

• D: Determine – Determine that you will, with God’s power, keep your focus on Him. We must make a daily decision to bow to Him alone, and no one or nothing else of this world. When we put people and things on a pedestal, we set ourselves up for pain and disappointment. With God as our focus we can rest assured that He has our best interest in mind – always.

• E: Enjoy – Enjoy God. Enjoy your children. Enjoy life. Enjoy today. After all, they are all gifts from our Creator. Joy is a gift from God. With our heart focused on Christ first and foremost, we are free to enjoy the world and all creation, especially our families.

Now with these principles in hand, before we become boastful, we can take a look at pride with godly vision, and remain outside its ever-present snare. As for baseball…my son is still hitting strong. But now, he and I both know that whether or not he hits the ball, it’s all the same to God. We’re both loved and applauded by our one True Coach whether we hit a homerun or strike out! We want our actions and words to humbly acknowledge that any gifts or talents we might have come from God.

Are your friends continually pointing out your relationship failures?

Do you hear the word co-dependency and cringe?

Are you excusing and tolerating behaviors that are unacceptable and hurtful?

Have you compromised your values, purity, and love of God for a lie?

Do these statements reflect how you feel, or what you do? If so, you may be one of the many women, who are “addicted to love” and relationships. I certainly was. I had spent my entire life on a quest to find love and approval from boys, and later men. I would experience extreme “highs” if all was going well in my relationships, and would then plummet to the depths of despair if I didn’t receive the nightly phone call or if my partner disappointed me. My life revolved around looking a certain way, acting in a certain manner, and compromising myself, and my values – all in the name of love. I put myself in highly destructive situations. Now, years later, as a ministry leader in a woman’s healing ministry, dedicated to helping women break free from the chains of relationship and love addiction, I can see how insidious and how prevalent these issues are amongst Christian women, both single and married.

God offers us perfect love and freedom through His Son, but learning to transfer our heart’s longing to the true source of contentment is challenging and takes time.

All through the Bible, God speaks of idolatry. How I hated to compare my “love-focus” to idolatry. But God makes it very clear that he wants our attention to be on Him first and foremost. When I was spending my every waking moment, thinking about, worrying about, and lusting over the current object of my affection, I was practicing a form of worship, therefore I was focused on an idol! This misdirected worship had to be refocused back to the only One truly worthy of my praise – Jesus Christ. The following process, and yes it is a process, has worked successfully for many women, myself included.

1. Identify the problem. I had to acknowledge, or admit that I was in the grip of a very serious problem/addiction/sin. I was out of control and that I needed help. Without the realization of the struggle I was in, healing remained out of reach.

2. Tell someone about my problem. Confession, with me, had to start with crying out to God. He loves us no matter what. I will say this again. God loves you no matter what! His Word states “Nothing, absolutely nothing can separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” When I repented and asked Him for help, the other steps became attainable. I also had to share my secret with someone else. Someone trustworthy, who cared, and would direct me towards healing and wholeness.

3. Join an accountability or support group. I am blessed to attend a church that offers an array of healing classes. One of them was titled For Women Only. This class focused on women desiring to find healing and grace from love and sexual addictions. This issue cannot be kept a secret. The fact is that sexual sin and co-dependency issues are prevalent in our churches. It is critical to find a group of women to meet and share our struggles, failures, and growth with. I had to be able to “tell on myself” for some time before I began to walk free from my previous behaviors. I needed someone who loved, and supported me, unconditionally, with both God’s truth and grace.

4. Prayer and worship. I learned to pray daily. I had to replace my old way of thinking with new thoughts. This involved reading God’s Word, and praying His Word out loud in order to replace my old negative thinking patterns. In addition to my Bible, I utilized uplifting audiotapes while driving, worship music, daily devotional books, as well as other Christian books on related topics. Goal – keep my thoughts focused on God – the Source of my renewal.

Becoming God-focused rather than self-focused is a commitment I have had to make with the realization the process will be on going until the day I meet Jesus face to face.

5. Reach out and help someone. Finally, I couldn’t keep all of God’s “goodies” to myself. Eventually, I had a testimony of hope and healing to share. It is so important to know we are not alone in any of our struggles. When we move out of isolation into acceptance and grace, healing becomes possible. And through Jesus Christ all things are possible!

We must remember that God loved the woman at the well. He loved her enough to purposefully stage a meeting with her that afternoon by the well. He knew she would be coming to draw water, and He wanted to show her a new way to live where she would never thirst again. Christ meets us where we are in any given moment. He loves us no less if we are rolling around in the pig pen like the prodigal son, or if we are naked in the street accused of adultery, surrounded by raised fists that are ready to throw stones of hatred and judgment our way. There is no stone in His hand, only the scar pierced flesh, evidence of His loving sacrifice for us. He will cleanse us of all unrighteousness and restore us to our former state of purity and integrity. Go ahead; reach for Him, my sister. If you believe you might be love or relationship addicted, please pray the following prayer, and then seek help. Christ came to set you free…free indeed!

Dear Heavenly Father,

Please forgive me for my obsession with people, men, and relationships over You. I believe that I may be love addicted, and practicing the sin of idolatry, that I may be lusting, lying, and using men and relationship in attempts to fill my approval-hungry- heart. I need You, Lord. I want to be free of this enslavement and discover all that You have for me. Your Word says that You love me with an everlasting love, and that You will never leave or forsake me. Today, I surrender my heart, mind and spirit to You, Jesus. Fill me with Your Spirit, cleanse me. May I be as white as snow as You gaze upon me. I pray that You will lead me to safe women who will help me with my struggles. I ask You to guide me and show me what my next step is to be. I am ready to walk forward. Take my hand, Lord. Take my hand. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.

Have you ever wondered why

When? Only God the Father knows for certain. Until then, we are to fight the good fight of faith and trust in our Lord, Savior, and Protector. In any battle it is crucial to know your enemy. What are his strengths? What are his weaknesses? The following list, from Willmington’s Book of Bible Lists, gives us the following scriptural insights into the nature and abilities of our advisory, Satan:

• He was named Lucifer before his fall
  (Isaiah 14:12)
• He was in Eden
  (Ezekiel 28:13)
• He was the anointed cherub of God
  (Ezekiel 28:14)
• He was adorned with precious stones
  (Ezekiel 28:13)
• He was the perfection of wisdom and beauty
  (Ezekiel 28:12)
• He fell through pride
  (Ezekiel 28:17)
• He attempted to steal God’s throne
  (Isaiah 14:13)
• He wanted to be like God
  (Isaiah 14:14)
• He possesses intelligence
  (2 Corinthians 2:11; 11:3)
• He possesses memory
  (Matthew 4:6)
• He possesses a will
  (2 Timothy 2:26)
• He possesses a desire
  (Luke 22:31)
• He possesses pride
  (1 Timothy 3:6)
• He possesses wrath
  (Revelation 12:12)
• He possesses great organizational ability
  (1 Timothy 4:1, Revelation 2:9,24)

To sum it up, we are dealing with an intelligent, manipulating force bent on our destruction, and world domination. But this creature is just that – a creature! He was created. He is not the Creator! We serve the Creator of all things. A creative Heavenly Father, who can take what Satan intends for evil, and instead use it to glorify His Heavenly Kingdom.

Taking a stand against evil

God provides us with an incredible arsenal of weapons, described in the book of Ephesians. But before we venture to put on our armor, I’d like to state a very important truth. Although, we are to take an offensive, as well as a defensive posture against evil, we are never to focus on the kingdom of darkness.

Quite the contrary, the closer we are to our Heavenly Father, the safer we are. It is when we venture out of His protective covering, and blatantly live in our own will, that we put ourselves in the direct line of fire. Maintaining an attitude and lifestyle of thankfulness, worship, obedience, confession, service, and love, will be our best defense against the wiles of the devil.

In the book of James, verses 4:6-10, James tells us in his “no-nonsense” manner that God will give us the strength we need to resist evil. We are to live humble lives, for God opposes the proud. We are to repent for our sinfulness, accept its seriousness, and bow before the Lord, acknowledging that we are dependent on Him and Him alone.

When we live in this manner, with confidence, we can resist the devil and he will flee from us! The reason I believe the following scripture is so important, is because it reminds us that we can’t just shout, “I resist you devil—now flee!” No, there is a lifestyle that must be in effect for our words to have meaning and for our enemy to take us seriously.

The destroyer knows when we are out of fellowship with our Creator, not because he is omnipresent, but because his hordes of fallen angels (demons) observe us, and wait for us to falter in our faith. But again, we need not fear. As we continue to fall in love with the Father, He will cover us, and as this scripture in the New Living Translation so beautifully states, God will honor us.

He gives us more and more strength to stand against such evil desires. As the Scriptures say,

“God sets himself against the proud,
but he shows favor to the humble.”?

So humble yourselves before God. Resist the Devil, and he will flee from you. Draw close to God, and God will draw close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, you hypocrites. Let there be tears for the wrong things you have done. Let there be sorrow and deep grief. Let there be sadness instead of laughter, and gloom instead of joy. When you bow down before the Lord and admit your dependence on him, he will lift you up and give you honor.

Thankfully, we are under God’s care. We belong to Him. We, dear friend, are his chosen ones, his daughters, and heiresses to his Heavenly Kingdom. The devil, like the big bad wolf, in Little Red Riding Hood, will attempt to deceive us into thinking he is the loving grandmother, tucked cozily under the fluffy, plaid quilt, on an oversized, cushy bed. But thankfully, our Lord, like the powerful Woodsman, will rescue us when we call out to him. Sometimes, “Help!” will be the best words to pass through our lips. God will hear our cry, and He will rescue us because it’s His nature, to love and protect us – His children.

Putting on the armor of God

He also provides extremely effective weaponry for our personal protection. Armed with His truth, we are mighty warriors. In the days, months, and years ahead, let’s remember to put on our armor, The Armor of God, found in the book of Ephesians 6:10-18.

Though we are to take a stand, nowhere in God’s Word does it say that we are to pursue the devil and his evil forces. In fact, in the Lord’s Prayer, we are told to pray this way: “Lord, keep us from evil.” The best thing we can do is to avoid evil at all costs. It is plain foolishness to start looking for a demon under every bed, or behind every bush. It is inevitable that at some point we will face the devil, but that should never be our focus. Instead, our focus should always be on the only One deserving of our attention, Jesus Christ.

May God keep you, fellow Christian, as you fight the good fight of faith, one step and a prayer at a time. Why not use the following prayer as a way to visualize your commitment of putting on the Armor of God each day:

Dear Heavenly Father, I commit this day to You. I submit my will to Yours and recognize that You are my Commander and Chief. As Your warrior, I want to serve You with all my body, mind, and spirit. I put on the entire armor now. First, I place the belt of truth around my waist, Your truth God, which sets me free.

Then I secure the breastplate of righteousness across my chest, covering my heart and emotions. I place my feet in shoes shed with the gospel of peace.

May I bring your peace into many situations today. I now take up the shield of faith. May this shield protect me from the fiery darts of my enemy. I cover my head securely with the helmet of salvation. May my thoughts be on You, Lord, and may I think good, pure, and godly thoughts throughout my day.

Finally, I pick up the sword of the Spirit, which is Your powerful Word, God. I use this sword to pierce through the enemy’s plans. For your Word tells us that all we must do is submit ourselves to you and tell the enemy to flee and he most go. So go Satan, in the name of Jesus! Thank you in advance, Lord, for a day of victory! In Jesus’ name. Amen.