“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”  (Galatians 5:22-23, emphasis mine)

One of the most common questions of the Christian life is this: how do I know God’s will for my life? It’s a very important question.  As Christ-followers we want to be obedient.  We know that God has a plan for each of us and we know that His plan is for our good. So why doesn’t God just write out His plan so we can dive in? And what are we supposed to do until He reveals His plan?

It can be easy to slip into a never-ending holding pattern thinking, “I’ll just stay right here until I get a very clear direction from God.  Preferably in writing.  In triplicate if possible.” When we stand still, at least when I stand still, it’s often out of fear more than piety.  (Or if I’m being really honest, I stand still because I’ve heard something I don’t like the sound of so what I’m really doing is waiting to hear God say something else.)  But time and again in the Bible we see God telling people to start moving and His plan is revealed along the way.  When God calls Abram in Genesis 12 He says, “go to the land that I will show you.” He doesn’t tell him his destination until later.

So how do we start walking? The other night at small group we were talking about this very topic and our leader told us that the when they launch the space shuttle the navigation system doesn’t kick in until it leaves Earth’s atmosphere.  Why? Because there’s nowhere to go but up.  Until the space shuttle enters orbit they don’t need to direct it because there is only one way it can go.

It’s the same for us.  If we do the basic things God has asked us to do, we can be sure we’re headed in a good direction. Galatians 5:22-23 lists the fruit of the spirit and then ends with this phrase, “against such things there is no law.”  If you are actively pursuing love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control and asking God to develop these things in your life, you can’t go wrong.  You will be headed in the right direction. As you are walking God will continue to reveal His plans for you.

In that same small group meeting our leader quoted another pastor who said that “God uses what’s in your hands to get to what’s in your heart.”  So if you are wondering what God’s will for your life is, look at what you have in your hands. Are you an excellent financial planner? Do you love horses? Are you really good at making people feel welcome? Do you have a great voice? Take the things that are in your hands and look for a way to use them for God.

God created each of us specifically for the good works he planned in advance for us to do.  (Ephesians 2:10) Ask God to show you how to use what you have.  Pursue the fruit of the spirit in your life and you can rest assured that you are pursuing God’s will for your life. Walk forward in confidence, abiding in prayer. There’s nowhere to go but up.

Father, Give me the courage to start walking.  Remind me that You will come with me and that You know the way, even when I can’t see it.  Amen.

Question: What holds you back when God tells you to start walking? Have there been times when you stepped out in faith? What happened?

It can be hard to hear God in the busyness of life. Take today’s lesson to hear how to listen better.  

“And after the fire came a gentle whisper.” (1 Kings 19:12b)

There’s a moment just before the performance begins where the lights go down and the symphony tunes.  It’s a strange, cacophonous sound, nothing at all like the music that will start a few minutes later.  I love that sound.  It sounds like anticipation.  It’s a sound that tells you that something wonderful is about to happen.

Tuning is not a warning bell; it’s an alignment.  One musician plays a single note, always the same note, and each of the instruments joins in.  They play, they listen, and they adjust and play again.  They keep going until all the sounds blend together, until there are united and aligned, in tune.

I love the line in the old hymn “Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing” that says, “tune my heart”. I want that.  I want my heart to sound like God’s.  Did you know that if you put two grand pianos in a room and play a note on one of them the corresponding string in the other piano will start to vibrate? I want the note God is playing to resonate in my heart.

In 1 Kings, God tells Elijah to go and stand on a mountain where He will pass by.  There is wind and fire, even an earthquake, but God is not in the wind or the fire or the earthquake.  God comes in a gentle whisper.  I need to be still and hear that whisper; I need to tune my heart to it.

I cannot do the things God has planned for me if my heart is out of tune. No matter how carefully I try to serve God, if my heart is out of tune it’s all just garbage. I think it’s so interesting that even professional musicians have to tune and they tune every single time they play.  I want my life to be like that, to begin every day by listening for the voice of God and moving my heart – dragging it along sometimes – until my heart, my attitude sounds like God’s.  I want to go through my days in tune with Him.

Father,

As the hymn says, “Come, thou Fount of every blessing, tune my heart to sing thy grace”. Teach me to stop and listen for your whisper.   Keep me still until the song of my heart sounds like You.  Mold me so that when people hear my words and see my actions they think of You.  Thank you for being patient with me.  Tune my heart. I’m listening.  Amen.

Question: When is it hard to hear God? Where do you find it easiest to hear His gentle whisper?

What could be more romantic than receiving a love letter?

You don’t have to be Shakespeare to write the perfect love letter. All you need to know is how you feel. What makes a love letter so romantic is that it is deeply personal. It shows your beloved how well you know them, and that knowledge is the very stuff of love.

All you need to get started is a pen and some decent stationary. Use thick card stock rather than stationary with roses and cupids around the edges. The recipient is probably going to keep this letter for a long time. Writing on heavy card stock will help it last.  (You can find paper like this at scrap booking stores and some office supply outlets.)

As you are writing be specific. Tell him exactly how he makes you feel and what he does that makes you feel that way. Write in the second person ( use “you” ) so that your letter speaks directly to him. Before you start writing, take a few moments to think about your beloved.

The following questions can help to get your thoughts going:

• What is his greatest strength?
• What do you see in him that he doesn’t see in himself?
• What is the most romantic thing he has ever done for you?
• What does he do on a regular basis that shows you he cares about you?
• When did you fall in love with him?
• What about him pleasantly surprised you?
• What is your favorite memory of the two of you?
• How has your world changed since you got together?

You can start your letter anyway you like as long as you include his name. You don’t have to be super-mushy right from the start, a simple “Dear _____” works well. Begin your letter with a very specific quality that you appreciate about him. Make the sentence exclusive – for example “I’ve never met anyone as _______ as you” or “No one has ever made me feel as____ as you do when you ____” Starting out this way shows him that he ranks higher than anyone else in your books – a great way to start a love letter.

A Conversation about Love & God
You were designed for love. Believe it or not, love moves God to you. And there’s nothing this world needs more than people who have been changed by love.

As you write, tell him exactly how you feel. Use specific examples that show that you’ve been paying attention. Remind him of the things he has done that really meant something to you. Share a favorite memory and a hope for the future. Don’t forget to say “I love you.” It doesn’t matter how long or short your letter is, as long as it’s sincere.

There’s no rule that says you have to use poetry in a love letter, but if you’re stumped finding just the right words, one or two carefully chosen lines can work really well. If you don’t have a poem in mind, there’s a lot to choose from online. If you want to use something other than the usual classics, I highly recommend “Dance Me to the End of Love” by Leonard Cohen.

Once your letter is complete, read it over carefully and check for errors. This letter will be read over and over. You don’t want a mistake spoiling the mood.If you want to add an extra special touch, seal the envelope with wax. Sealing kits are available at most fine stationary stores, but a regular taper candle in a dark color works just as well. Simply light the candle and carefully drip a small puddle of wax about the size of a quarter over the flap.

Once the letter is complete, drop it in the mail and wait for a great response. If you’re lucky, you just might get a love letter yourself.

Take the next step:

What’s your love language? Take this lesson to find out.
Unlock the secret to love
Do you know how much God loves you?

The carols try to tell us that this is a calm and silent time of year. But for most of us, the weeks leading up to Christmas can be anything but calm. You know the drill: office parties, shopping, baking, wrapping, relatives, Christmas plays and everyone’s favorite - family pictures. It’s enough to leave even the strongest among us exhausted. Can we slow things down a little so we can enjoy the season again? Does anyone have time for that?

Whatever your plans for the season, don’t let them overtake your holiday. Remember Dr. Seuss’s classic tale How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Christmas will come without all the wrappings and bows, it will still come if the turkey isn’t perfect, if your tree is a little lop-sided or the dog decides to help you ‘redecorate’.

There are ways to put a little relaxation back into your Christmas season without adding too much to your busy schedule. As we get closer and closer to the 25th, try a couple of these simple ideas and remember what enjoying the holiday feels like.

1. Host a coloring party. Coloring parties are a tradition I learned from my Mom’s friend Gail. Every Christmas the local hospital sells large (3′ x 2′) coloring books as a fund raiser and Gail uses these as the center of her get together. Friends are invited to bring a little of their Christmas baking and come over for a morning of coffee and coloring. Upon arriving, everyone gathers around the coloring books on the kitchen table and dives into brand new packs of crayons with the glee of five-year-olds. The conversation flows. It is a relaxed, non threatening time, a great way to catch up with old friends, an easy way to get to know new neighbors.
2. Choose one or two people from your list and make their present. Making gifts gives you a great excuse to go off somewhere by yourself for a few hours. Put on your favorite music, light a pine scented candle and enjoy the quiet as you work. The possibilities for hand-made gifts are endless.
3. Attend a local highschool or college concert. Most school bands and choirs put on Christmas concerts and the entrance fee is almost always minimal. Grab a friend or the whole family and support local musicians while relaxing and getting into the Christmas spirit.
4. Read your favorite children’s Christmas story. Find a quiet corner, a cup of cocoa, and favorite blanket and curl up a read the story you most loved as a child. How the Grinch Stole Christmas and The Night Before Christmas are classics, or better yet, read the original Christmas story in the Bible in the book of Luke (Luke 2:1-20).
5. Reflect on the season. Christmas is many things to many people, but at the heart of all the celebrating and festivities is a baby born in a manger. In Bethlehem, two thousand years ago God sent his son into the world. The Bible tells us that Jesus was not sent into the world to condemn it, but to save it. Many churches put on special Christmas pageants that portray the story of Jesus, who he is and what he came to earth to do. Why not take in a performance over the next few weeks and rediscover the true reason for the season?

“Peace on Earth” is a phrase you see everywhere this time of year. For many of us, we have to wonder where that peace is? Who is at peace? What about countries that are at war? Is “Peace on Earth” even possible in this day and age? Peace on Earth is possible, and it can start with you. You can find peace through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

You can receive Christ right now by faith through prayer. Praying is simply talking to God. God knows your heart and is not so concerned with your words as He is with the attitude of your heart. Here’s a suggested prayer:

Lord Jesus, I want to know you personally. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life to you and ask you to come in as my Saviour and Lord. Take control of my life. Thank you for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Make me the kind of woman you want me to be.

If this prayer expresses the desire of your heart, pray it right now and Christ will come into your life as He promised. If you invited Jesus Christ into your life, thank God often that He is in your life, that He will never leave you and that you have eternal life. As you learn more about your relationship with God, and how much He loves you, you’ll experience life to the fullest.

Christmas is a time to remember the gift of love that was given to us. May your days be merry and bright and may the love that sparked the season find you in the days and weeks to come.

On September 21, 2011 we lost a beloved member of our TruthMedia family.  Dorothy Brown served with us for many years, both as an email mentor and also as a member of the editorial team, working diligently to prepare the daily devotionals which you all enjoy every day.  Dorothy had a very aggressive cancer and by the time the doctors discovered that she was sick, she was already very sick.

When she wrote to me to tell me that she needed to take a break from entering the devos she wrote that she hoped to be back the next month.  Dorothy was 74 and she had no plans to slow down. God’s plans were bigger than hers and now, as her husband Norm so beautifully put it, she has been “promoted to glory”.

In 1 Corinthians Paul writes of the reality of Heaven, how in that moment all of the things we have believed will suddenly be right before our eyes.  We have glimpsed Jesus, but Dorothy has seen him face to face.  She knows Him in a deeper way than all her years of Bible study could ever have taught her.  I wonder what she asked Him first?

I do not know what you are facing today.  Are you celebrating? Are you worried? Did you get the house?  Are you waiting to hear about that job? Whatever the day holds, know this: we may see “through a glass darkly”, but God sees us exactly as we are.

We don’t need to fear tomorrow because God is already there. We don’t need to carry the burden of yesterday because God’s forgiveness has already rewritten our stories. We can, we must, live in the hope that a day is coming when we will see Him face to face, just like Dorothy.

Face to face.  Can you imagine it? What an incredible promise. What an amazing hope we have.

Would you join me in praying for Dorothy’s family today? Her husband Norm has been fighting his own cancer for several years.  His health situation is complicated and Dorothy was his primary care giver.  Please pray that God would make a way for him.  If you would like to be prayed for today, please use this link to submit a prayer request.  We would love to pray for you.

Father, When I am confused and can’t see the way forward remind me of Your promises.  You will never leave me or forsake me and the plans You have for me give me hope and a future. Remind me that You always see me as I am and that a day is coming when I will see You as You truly are. Thank you for Dorothy and for her example of a life well lived. Please be with Norm and restore him back to health.  Thank you for loving me more than I can understand.  Amen.

Question: How does the hope of Heaven change the way you see your day?

“Always walk through life as if you have something new to learn and you will.”

It can be hard to find time to learn amid the busyness of work and family but if you have a few minutes here and there, that’s enough.  Pick up a good book, try a new cuisine or dig in to one of our Life Lessons.

Life Lessons are short, topical studies that let you dig a little deeper into a topic that interests you.  There are lessons on marriage, communication, fear, spirituality, secrets, beauty, stress and contentment.

Most lessons take about half an hour to complete. Simply read the material and answer the questions.  When you hit “Submit” your answers will be sent to a Study Coach who will respond with additional insights. If you wish to discuss things further with your coach, they’re always just an email away.

You can see a complete list of topics on our site.
Browse our selection of nearly 100 online interactive life lessons

Which one will you try first?

Growing up my Dad always made a point of telling us that none of us are adopted

I know that I get my love of words and my passion for word-play from my Mom.  We like books and crossword puzzles and silly poems and nonsense.  My Dad has long complained that when the two of us are together we speak a different language entirely.  (He is right about that, but honestly, after all these years how can he not know what numciouses are?)  As I get older I realize that there are other things of hers that are in my life too.

I have her uncertainty in new situations. Just like my Mom I need to know before I can act.  My first impulse is not to try, it’s to question.   We both find safety in the familiar even though we also both like to travel.  I have always had a good relationship with my Mom, but it is only in the last few years that we’ve actually talked about why we are the way we are.

There are conversations that every girl has with her mother, and we’ve had those too but it surprises me that it has taken us this long to get these important topics.  How does she deal with meeting new people? Why does she think we act the way we do?  My Mom has 30+ years more experience than I do.  Why did it take me so long to ask?

I wonder if it’s because asking these questions can feel like we’re calling choices into question? I don’t want to debate with my Mom why she chose not to go to college, but I wanted to know the reasons.  She let me into her heart long ago, now as I get older I find I want to be let inside her brain as well.  What was it like to move to Africa with two small children? What was it like falling in love with my Dad? How did she cope with caring for a sick parent for the 10 years he lived in our house?

These are the conversations I want to have with my mother.  I want to know her better, as a woman, as well as a mother.  I know that her choice to have children has effected everything that came after but it is not the only choice she’s ever made.  I want to hear the other stories too.  I feel like I know her pretty well, but I want to know her better.  I am very fortunate to still have my Mom around.  This year, for Mother’s Day I think I’ll go ask her.

What are the best questions you’ve ever asked your Mom? Tell us in the comments.

Let’s talk: “Lesssons from Mom” – join us in the chat room May 9th @ 12:15 EDT?

The stats in the interview are horrible:

• 420 million pages of pornography on the internet
• 42 million sites
• 68 million searches for porn EVERY DAY

But the one that stuck with me the most was when Dines said that the average age a boy first views pornography is now 11. As she goes on to explain, the danger for these boys is that at 11 they haven’t had any other sexual experiences, so when they see these images they become the boy’s baseline, their “normal” for what sex looks like, for what it is and what it should be.

Roberts goes on to quote a study from 2003 that found that in 56% of divorces one partner was a habitual user of pornography.  As Dines explains, “Porn is industrial strength sex.  Next to that actual sex looks boring and bland.” The fiction is so potent they become incapable of enjoying or even participating in normal, healthy, intimate relations.

As part of her research Dines has spoken to many in the porn industry and it’s their responses that really stopped me cold.  When she asked them, “Where does the industry go from here?” they responded that it feels like a runaway train.  They have no idea where things are going because the consumer demand is for darker and darker material.

The easiest way to stop a runaway train is to go nowhere near it in the first place.  But what if it’s already too late for that? If you or someone you know is there is help available.  If you would like to talk privately with a mentor, use this form to submit your request and we’ll match you up with a mentor who will contact you by email.  Mentoring is a free and confidential service.

These articles are also a good place to start:

Helping Your Husband Battle Pornography
Sex Addiction
Help! My Husband Doesn’t Want Sex
Women Addicted to Porn
The Effects of Internet Pornography

xxxchurch.com is an amazing resource for anyone dealing with issues with pornography.

From a very, very young age we’re taught that choices are important.

Ask any two year old to put on a pair of shoes without consulting them and you’ll get a quick lesson in the importance of choice.  Choice makes us self determinate, gives us control, lets us write the future, or so we’re told.  But researchers do not always agree.

I was fascinated by a talk given by researcher Sheena Iyengar at this year’s TEDGlobal conference.  (You can watch the talk below).  She spoke about the idea of choice, how it varies around the world and how sometimes, getting to choose might not be in our best interest.

She listed three assumptions about choice that are common in America:

1. If a choice is to be made I should be the one to make it.
2. The more choices I have, the more likely I am to make the best choice.
3. I must never say no to choice

At first glance, these seem like reasonable statements, but as she went on to show, it’s rarely that simple.  The statement that stood out to me the most was “The value of choice lies in the ability to see the difference in the choices.”

What happens when the options are barely different at all? Does choice become an illusion?

Is choice always better?

Iyengar did a study of parents who had had an infant born with tragic complications that required the child to be put on a ventilator.  In all cases the parents were told that the child could not survive if removed from life support, and that on life support the child would remain in a permanent vegetative state.  Half the parents in the study were American, the other half French.  All of the children included in the study had been taken off life support and passed away.

Among the French parents, the choice to withdraw life support sat with the doctors.  For the American parents the choice was theirs.  Overwhelmingly, the American parents had far more negative reactions to their experience – one parent asked how they could be asked to choose, another spoke of feeling like she had played a role in an execution – yet all the American parents said they could not imagine letting someone else make that choice for them.

Is it kinder not to force the parents to choose when neither option is favorable? Is it worse to hear someone else declare that your child will be removed from life saving devices?  It’s an extreme example, and a place no one would ever want to be.  I’m not sure what the answer is.  Is being able to choose always better?

When we were growing up my Mom often reminded us that very few choices are fatal.  With choice comes responsibility, but some choices matter far less than others.  When people at church got up in arms over my older brother’s shoulder length hair my Mom calmly smiled and said “No one’s in jail.  It’s just hair.”  Would she have reacted the same way if it was a tattoo and not a hair cut? Hard to say.

Choices can be a wonderful freedom – no one wants to live as a robot being told what to do when, and where and how.  I think the trick to is to learn which choices are the important ones and to recognize that we are always choosing.  Deciding not to pick up the phone is a choice just as much as making the call is a choice.  Sometimes we mistake passivity for not choosing, but it’s a choice that speaks just as loudly as any other action.

I think it’s fascinating that when it comes to the most important decision of all, God lets us choose. He could have created us with an acceptance of Him as innate as breathing, but He didn’t.  From the very beginning He let us choose, even when our choices were not in our best interest.  Even after we come to faith He lets us choose.  Will I read my Bible? Will I participate in my local church community? Will I share my faith with my neighbor? The better choice is obvious, but God still lets each of us choose.  Sometimes I wonder why He does.

When it comes to the important decisions in your life, how do you choose?

Ready to make even better choices? Try our free life lesson on the Fruits of the Spirit and choose kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control, love, joy and peace.

From a very, very young age we’re taught that choices are important.

Ask any two year old to put on a pair of shoes without consulting them and you’ll get a quick lesson in the importance of choice.  Choice makes us self determinate, gives us control, lets us write the future, or so we’re told.  But researchers do not always agree.

I was fascinated by a talk given by researcher Sheena Iyengar at this year’s TEDGlobal conference.  (You can watch the talk below).  She spoke about the idea of choice, how it varies around the world and how sometimes, getting to choose might not be in our best interest.

She listed three assumptions about choice that are common in America:

1. If a choice is to be made I should be the one to make it.
2. The more choices I have, the more likely I am to make the best choice.
3. I must never say no to choice

At first glance, these seem like reasonable statements, but as she went on to show, it’s rarely that simple.  The statement that stood out to me the most was “The value of choice lies in the ability to see the difference in the choices.”

What happens when the options are barely different at all? Does choice become an illusion?

Is choice always better?

Iyengar  did a study of parents who had had an infant born with tragic complications that required the child to be put on life support immediately.  In all cases the parents were told that the child could not survive if removed from life support, and that on life support the child would remain in a permanent vegetative state.  All of the children included in the study had been taken off life support and passed away.  Half the parents in the study were American, the other half French.

Among the French parents, the choice to withdraw life support sat with the doctors.  For the American parents the choice was theirs.  Overwhemingly, the American parents had far more negative reactions to their experience – one parent asked how they could be asked to choose, another spoke of feeling like she had played a role in an execution – yet all the American parents said they could not imagine letting someone else make that choice for them.

Is it kinder not to force the parents to choose when neither option is favorable? Is it worse to hear someone else declare that your child will be removed from life saving devices?  It’s an extreme example, and a place no one would ever want to be.  I’m not sure what the answer is.  Is being able to choose always better?

When we were growing up my Mom often reminded us that very few choices are fatal.  With choice comes responsibility, but some choices matter far less than others.  When people at church got up in arms over my older brother’s shoulder length hair my Mom calmly smiled and said “No one’s in jail.  It’s just hair.”  Would she have reacted the same way if it was a tattoo and not a hair cut? Hard to say.

Choice can be a wonderful freedom – no one wants to live as a robot being told what to do when, and where and how.  I think the trick to is to learn which choices are the important ones and to recognize that we are always choosing.  Deciding not to pick up the phone is a choice just as much as making the call is a choice.  Sometimes we mistake passivity for not choosing, but it’s a choice that speaks just as loudly as any other action.

When it comes to the things that matter, how do you decide?

Ready to make even better choices? Try our free life lesson Finding Freedom.