I don’t know what possessed me to do it.

As the time for the trip drew near, I grew more excited. I looked forward to the trip because I dreaded the thought of staying home all summer. I had spent the last few summers taking care of my mom, who had been sick with cancer and had recently passed away. I don’t think I could have stayed home with those memories.

In the months after her death, my soul grew weary—I was literally walking in the valley of the shadow of death. But God says that when we’re in that valley, He’s with us and we need not fear. I trudged forth and climbed out somehow, but I thirsted for rest. Rest from the pain. Rest from responsibilities. Rest from school. I needed something different, something healing.

The thought of seeing somewhere green instead the dirty brown of Phoenix thrilled my senses. I also looked forward to my two classes about the history and literature of the British world but I expected in this great adventure to also include quite a bit of loneliness. Being a Christian, I knew I’d probably be different than the 40 other college students tagging along on my adventure. But God knew I wouldn’t be lonely. He had something else in mind.

Making friends and memories

I made friends instantly. Three other girls and I roomed together for almost the entire trip.  We did everything as a group – completing homework, and visiting parks in London.  We even found our way to the Irish Sea.

But these girls were quite different from me. One of them was a Taoist, the other two were agnostics. You might think we never broached the subject of religion, but it seems that every day there was a new conversation involving our beliefs.  The girls actually told me that they were amazed by me because they’d never met a Christian who would talk to them about beliefs without condemning them cruelly to hell.

Never alone

In spite of these differences in beliefs, I never felt lonely, but not because the girls were with me everywhere I went. God was there, too. Constantly. He permeated every conversation I had. I felt a calm reassurance whenever I had to negate the others’ claims or argue my own point.

Not only was He there when I was debating points with my friends, but He guided me in every experience I had. I’ve always been a person who wanted everything planned out, and as I’ve realized, the world doesn’t work that way. God stretched me that summer. I had to discover things on the fly and make decisions without knowing every consequence possible.

But the beauty of discovery was in knowing that God’s hand was pressed firmly against my back the entire time. It was just Jesus said a long time ago, “I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

God’s presence resonated in all of nature as well. As a favorite song of mine says, “Mountains bow down and the sea will roar at the sound of Your name.” Every tree, every mountain, every valley whispered to me the secrets of the glory of God. In response, my heart longed to climb to the top of one of those mountains and spin around like Maria in The Sound of Music.

Something I had feared before I went on the trip was being left in my room while my roommates went out drinking. It did happen a few times, but those times became some of my favorite evenings. I read my Bible, wrote in my journal, and spent genuine quality time with my Savior. He showed Himself to me in so many ways that summer. Verses I had never remembered reading before popped off the page.

An unexpected rejoicing

Rather than feeling sorry that I was left alone in my room, I felt so blessed to have that time with God. It was time I might not have discovered otherwise if it had not been “forced” upon me. I look back now and remember one of my favorite passages: “Rejoice in the Lord, always. I will say it again: Rejoice! … The Lord is near.” (Philippians 4:4, 5b)

My faith matured a lot in the summer of 2005.  That experience deepened my knowledge of God. I knew Him better than I ever had before and I realized more than ever that He had always known me.

 Take the next step:

Are you ready to take a risk in your faith walk?
Leap of faith: As followers of Christ, we will be called to step out of our comfort zones.
Take our online lesson: Developing a heart of worship

“Blessed be the Lord, Who bears our burdens and carries us day by day, even the God who is our salvation! Selah!”    (Psalm 68:19, Amplified Bible)

In college, I took a camping class for a semester and one of the requirements for the class was a weekend backpacking trip in Northern Michigan.  We were told that we would do some rafting, as well as climb a tree 100 feet up and then zip line across the river.  Our guide told us that everyone was required to go across the zip line and that if we took too long, he would push us off the branch!

Our guide had brought along his 9 year old son. When it came time for him to climb up the tree he made it about half-way up and then began to have a meltdown.  He refused to budge; he was stuck.

I watched as his father (our rough, tough, “push you off the branch” guide) climbed up the tree to his son.  He talked with him for quite a while before he began to help him climb down to the bottom of the tree step by step.  I remember being quite surprised that he had helped him climb down rather than making him climb up to the top where the zip line was.  I thought, “Wow, this should be interesting to see what he does!

Our guide then proceeded to put his son on his shoulders and carry him across the river.  The river was full from the melted snow and was running at a good clip.  We held our breath as he slipped on the rocks and worked against the current to carry his son across.  What I will never forget was the sight of that boy on his daddy’s shoulders.  All the fear was gone from his face, he was smiling and laughing and waving at us as he rode on his father’s strong shoulders across the river.  He had not a care in the world!

As I watched that beautiful picture of a father’s great love for his son and the son’s complete and unwavering trust in his father, I thought, “God, is that the way you want me to live?  To trust You even though the river is rushing and the water is cold?  Even when my situation seems impossible and the future is daunting, do you want me to trust you like that little boy?  Do you want me climb up on your shoulders and enjoy the ride?!”

Look at how the writer of Galatians describes our relationship with God once we are His:

You can tell for sure that you are now fully adopted as his own children because God sent the Spirit of his Son into our lives crying out, “Abba! Father!” Doesn’t that privilege of intimate conversation with God make it plain that you are not a slave, but a child? And if you are a child, you’re also an heir, with complete access to the inheritance.     (Galatians 4:6-7, The Message)

Your Abba Father stands ready and waiting.  Climb up on His shoulders and let Him carry you in whatever “river” you are wading through and most of all enjoy the ride! Because you have nothing to fear when you are on the shoulders of the One who willingly sacrificed His most treasured possession for you!

Questions: Do you trust your Abba Father?  Are you enjoying the journey or are just enduring?  Do you find yourself running away or refusing to budge?  Or are you just barely staying afloat?

This fall my 18 year-old son, my first-born, my newly minted young adult, will be leaving home to start university.

After that there were vacations with his best friend’s family, 2-week ski trips with his French elementary school, excursions to Quebec with his French class, and to Mexico on mission trips, all without me along.  I always knew that my role was to “let go” and encourage him to try his wings so that when the day came for him to become independent, he would be ready.  For years I have been progressively working myself out of a job, or at least gradually changing my job description.

The universal questions

But am I ready?  The distant deadline somehow always approaches far too rapidly. All parents experience this, but does that make it any easier?  Joel Achenbach, in his touching blog post, Last-minute bonding to make up for lost time wrote, “It’s not true that kids grow up fast. What is true is that it seems fast if you’re paying too much attention to other stuff.”  After all the years of reminding our much younger daughter that we had years together ahead of us before Josh left for college, we now find ourselves hurtling toward the day.

I talk to other moms a little ahead of me on this journey, and I realize that I am the Universal Mother asking the Universal Questions.  Will he wake up in the morning and get to class?  Will he eat properly?  Will he so enjoy the taste of freedom that he will forget why he has gone to college?  Will he wash his sheets?  Will he think to call me occasionally, or will I be reduced to reading his Facebook posts to learn that he is off rock climbing?

Then there are the Important Questions.  Will he be safe, going from a small town where we don’t always lock the front door, to living in a big city?  Will he make wise choices about priorities, money, and friends? Will we still enjoy the complicity that now exists between us?   Will he continue to walk with God? Will the new ideas he will be exposed to shake his faith or help him to go deeper still?

I think back to my own departure at 18. Was my mom sad or worried? Probably, but I don’t remember. I was too excited about starting college, growing up, and the anticipation of new friends and new adventures to pay much attention.  And while Josh admitted recently that his excitement is also tinged with a little anxiety, I’m betting that it won’t be long before he is immersed in this new world.

I will miss him terribly, but would I really prefer that he only aspire to stay here, in the safety and security of our home?  The idea behind the movie Failure to Launch is comical, but not so entertaining for real-life parents whose adult son is still living in the basement playing video games. I don’t want him to be too fearful to step out by faith, on his own.  This is exactly the goal I had in mind as I raised him.  I say to myself, often, “This is good and right. This is how it should be.”  I can’t stop him from growing up, and I shouldn’t try either.  But I can prepare him for the day that we say good-bye.  This is ultimately not about me.  It is about him, his future, and his life. I need to let him live it.

Take the next step

Is your family changing?
Are you ready to let go?

Check out the book that Carol featured: Last-minute bonding to make up for lost time by Joel Achenbach

One clear September morning my son packed up his car and headed off to college.

But my heart, my mother-heart stared sadly at that rumbling car as he drove away.  He turned and waved at the corner.  I waved back and blew a kiss.   A deep melancholy overwhelmed me.  A chapter of mothering had just turned that corner with him.  Well, that is, it had always looked like a corner, up until now.  In the clarity of the early morning air, I felt a certain kinship with Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz, when she proclaimed to her dog, “Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.” That corner was not really a corner it was a precipice, a great abyss, a free fall into the great unknown.

I was now the mother of an adult son, and mothering would look differently than it had up to this point.

What happens now?

Questions, doubts, like balloons, floated between my heart and my head, vying for attention, squeezing aside trust, obstructing peace.   Had we prepared him for the journey ahead?  Was he equipped to withstand the hard knocks, to make wise decisions, to be responsible?  Was his faith strong enough to walk him through the difficult questions that the future would bring?  What did my new role look like?  A hundred and one questions collided inside my head.

And then, quietly a bubble of faith floated into the air before me.  I reached out and took hold of it.

“I will never leave him, nor forsake him.   For I know the plans I have for him, plans to prosper him and not to harm him, plans for a hope and a future.  When he asks for wisdom, I will give it to him.  I have given my angels charge over him.”  And softly, gently, peace and trust returned to my soul.  A calm assurance pushed aside the melancholy.  “I will instruct you, and teach you in the way that you should go.”

Our Father is a parent to so many adult children.  He would instruct me.  He would guide me.  This same God of peace would also carry my son as he steered towards the hazy precipice of the future.  Oh, I knew that he wouldn’t sail through life.  No one does.  I knew that he might drag his feet at the bottom of that chasm more than once.  But I also had the calm assurance that God would not allow him to get stuck in the mud at the bottom, but would carry him on angels wings to fulfill the plans and purposes for which he was created.

My reverie was broken by the sound of a familiar distant rumble.   I glanced towards the sound, and caught the sparkle of the sun, glinting off my son’s car for just a brief second before he slid out of sight.  I smiled.  I almost had a sense that my prayers, like balloons, were wafting silently upon the morning haze, across the hilltops and were lifting him, carrying him into the future.  He had not fallen off the precipice.  He was being carried.

We can’t see the road ahead.  But, we know the One who can!  It is this One that guides our journey; that carries us through the melee of life.   It is also this 0ne that is always within our reach, waiting for us to inhale His truth, His love, His presence.  As we inhale His Presence, He lifts us up above the fears and mysteries of the unknown, and fills us with peace, wisdom, guidance and trust.

I stood to my feet.  As I turned to go inside, I glanced once more at the hillside.  A quiet refrain soughed gently in the breeze.

I will lift up my eyes to the hills –

From whence comes my help?

My help comes from the LORD,

Who made heaven and earth. 

The LORD is your keeper;

The LORD shall preserve you from all evil;

He shall preserve your soul.

The LORD shall preserve your going out and your coming in

From this time forth, and even forevermore.  

Psalm 121: 1, 2, 5a, 7, 8.  

Related:

Do you need to find shelter in God’s arms?
Trust God through the Seasons of Life

Do you feel isolated and sad? Talk to us.

“It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees” (Psalm 119:71).

All her life, Connie Anderson had served God and people enthusiastically. In her teens she  worked during the day to be able to support her invalid father, mother, and younger brother. She studied hard at night school and weekends to earn four university degrees.

As a teacher she taught high school English for twenty years. Then she became a supervisor of 110 schools. In addition, she taught a college and career class in church and an accredited course in seminary. All this came to an abrupt halt when a blood clot behind her left eye caused excruciating pain and severe disturbances in her peripheral vision. Suddenly, Connie was the one who needed help with basic functions. “I was so depressed,” she said.

One day she came upon a Bible verse that showed her a way out of depression. “I will remember the deeds of the LORD; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago. I will meditate on all your works and consider all your mighty deeds” (Psalm 77:11,12).

Acting upon this verse, Connie began to recount the blessings of her past. By focusing on God’s faithfulness to her in the past, her spirits lifted and hope began to stir within her heart that God would continue to be faithful to her.

Four years later, Connie Anderson was once more doing the thing she loved most–teaching young people. Only this time, she was teaching foreign students who had immigrated to Canada and knew very little English. She tutored them in English and many other subjects preparing them for high school and college.  “Mine is all joyful living,” she said.

Are you discouraged today? Take a step out of your sadness by recounting and writing down blessings you have received. Remember that God, Who was faithful to you in the past, is still the same God Who is with you today, and Who will be faithful to you in the future.

Thank you, Father, that your everlasting love is with those who fear you and that you work all things together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. Amen. (Romans 8:28)

Questions: Are you discouraged today? Step out of your sadness and tell us about some of the blessing that you have received in the past.

About the Author Helen Grace Lescheid

Approximately one in three American college students drops out.

By now, you’ve been at college/university for a few weeks. Maybe a trip or two back home, maybe not. Whether it’s your first year or your “final” year (hopefully this year will be the year!) sometimes school sucks.

And it’s not always the classes. I’d wager that a large part of the struggles people face at school have nothing to do with academics. Loneliness, depression, uncertainty, lack of direction … these distractions can cast their shadow over any academic success you can hope to achieve. If you feel like you just need someone to talk with about it, but aren’t sure your new friends (or old friends) will really understand, feel free to contact an online mentor to talk about it; it’s free and confidential, and they will reply to you in the next few days.

In the meantime, in the interest of helping you adjust to your new life at school, here are some articles that we hope will be helpful:

FROSH: Freshmen Survival Tips – Here are the top 10 survival tips for frosh; “Survival Advice for Life”

STRESS: 10 Ways to Manage Stress in College – Feeling stressed?!?! Some amount of stress during college will be unavoidable, but here are some ways to manage it better.

LONELINESS: How to Meet People in University: Conquering Loneliness – Tyrone, a Queens University student who says he’s “really shy when it comes to meeting people” explains some ways to conquer loneliness

SUCCESS: Get through Life Without Really Trying – Economics professor Douglas Allen of Simon Fraser University reveals his “secrets of success”

BELIEFS: What do you Believe, and Why? – University is a time to rethink our beliefs and determine if they cohere with reality. Maybe some of your struggles are the result of an inaccurate worldview?

Let us know how your university experience is going so far: Good or bad. What have you found unexpectedly wonderful? Surprisingly terrible? Enlightening? Disappointing? Let us know!

Money don’t get everything, it’s true
What it don’t get, I can’t use
Now give me money (that’s what I want)
That’s what I want (that’s what I want)

Few people would actually take such a calloused approach to money. We’ve experienced enough to realize that money alone isn’t enough to guarantee happiness. But when we are faced with difficult moral decisions involving money, how can we balance our own desires against those of others?

A contest for university students called “Paid vs Aid” seeks to highlight the difficult choices we need to make daily, but rarely take the time to think about:

Each and every day, we make choices. We make choices about our base needs: what to eat, what to wear, how many cups of coffee we want to drink. We make choices about relationships: Who we want to befriend, who we love, how we want to be loved.

The winner of the $1,000 prize in the Paid vs Aid contest must make a choice: Do they want to use the money towards their university tuition bill, or to help others by building clean water wells, housing in Haiti, or support for orphans in Tanzania? (All funds donated would be managed and followed-up by the Global Aid Network, a registered charity with ongoing ministries in all of these locations.)

The choice is offered to the winner: What do you choose to do with the money?

But why even bother to offer a choice? Why not just give the winner the money and tell them to do whatever they want with it? The reason is to make us think a little deeper about the choices we make, and the cravings that we all have that drive those choices.

What would you choose if you won, and why? Can you recognize how your own cravings, like for intimacy, destiny, and meaning, could impact your decision?

For information on how to enter, visit this page to see a list of campuses in Canada where the contest is being offered, and look for the booth at your school this September. One prize will be awarded per campus.

We know that the college years can be a time when young people walk away from their faith, but what about the teen years?

In a recent article for CNN, Kenda Creasy Dean, a professor at Princeton Theological Seminary, author of the book Almost Christian,  and one of the researchers on the study found that, “American teenagers are embracing what she calls ‘moralistic therapeutic deism.’ Translation: It’s a watered-down faith that portrays God as a “divine therapist” whose chief goal is to boost people’s self-esteem.”

Teens unable to articulate faith

According to the article:

The study, which included in-depth interviews with at least 3,300 American teenagers between 13 and 17, found that most American teens who called themselves Christian were indifferent and inarticulate about their faith.

The study included Christians of all stripes — from Catholics to Protestants of both conservative and liberal denominations. Though three out of four American teenagers claim to be Christian, fewer than half practice their faith, only half deem it important, and most can’t talk coherently about their beliefs, the study found.

Many teenagers thought that God simply wanted them to feel good and do good — what the study’s researchers called “moralistic therapeutic deism.

Dean goes on to say that, “If this is the God they’re seeing in church, they are right to leave us in the dust,” Dean says. “Churches don’t give them enough to be passionate about.”

What about the teens in your life? Are we sending our kids off to college with what Blue Like Jazz author Donald Miller describes as a “vending machine God”?

It can be tempting to assume that if you go to a good church and have a great youth pastor your teens are being taught well.  But as the study also found some churches praise youth pastors for being fun and creative a lot more than they praise them for solid teaching.  Yes, we want church to be a place where teens have fun safely, but that’s not its only function.  So what is a parent to do?

Talk to your teens.  Ask them good questions. Could your teen clearly and accurately share their faith? Do they have a solid understanding of forgiveness? How do they view heaven and hell? Do they believe that all of the Bible is true? How does your teen’s faith compare to your own?

Youth Church

Recently, the Youth Church movement has sought to make church more than just movie and game nights.  Youth Church features an actual church service- with music and a message catered to a teen and young adult audience.  They do still have fun – there are water slides and camping mixed in – but the schedule is focused on solid teaching, accountability in small groups and service to others.  You can go to YouthChurch.com to see if there’s a group in your area.

How do you incorporate discussions about faith in your family? We’d love to hear your ideas in the comments.

How can students prepare themselves for success in college & university English classes?

Although the study was released in 2006, its results are still relevant today. Ulrich Knoefplmacher, professor of ancient and modern literature at Princeton University, notes that “Not to have a knowledge of the Bible is almost crippling in students’ ability to be sophisticated readers.”

Most of the professors seem to be recommending reading the Bible because it will help students understand literature better. But reading it will also help them understand life better too.

Is this another approach that Christians can use somehow to introduce others to God’s Word, or a way that parents can encourage their kids to read more of the Bible (and hopefully have their lives transformed by it)? For “faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ” and “without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.” (Romans 10:17, Hebrews 11:6)

If someone you know is interested in studying the Bible for the first time, you can point them to a resource on our own site called “A Guided Tour: Reading through the Bible” which serves as an introduction to learning about the Bible. Another option is suggest that they visit an ALPHA program in your area, which teaches some of the essentials about the Bible and the Christian faith. You can find a program nearby in the USA or in Canada, or visit the ALPHA website for other countries.

If you’d prefer to have a personal recommendation or have specific questions you can always contact us and we’ll try to point you in the right direction!

How can students prepare themselves for success in college & university English classes?

Although the study was released in 2006, its results are still relevant today. Ulrich Knoefplmacher, professor of ancient and modern literature at Princeton University, notes that  “Not to have a knowledge of the Bible is almost crippling in students’ ability to be sophisticated readers.”

The results of this survey align well with the results of the first survey conducted, which found that “98% of leading high school English teachers surveyed said that Bible knowledge gives a distinct academic advantage.” This isn’t particularly surprising, given that the Bible has traditionally been such a pervasive influence on world literature and culture. Having background knowledge in the Bible seems to give a distinct advantage to students in their studies in college and university.

Thankfully there are plenty of free resources available to help students (and others) become a little more biblically literate. One option is a resource on our own site, called “A Guided Tour: Reading through the Bible” which serves as an introduction to learning about the Bible.

Another option is to visit an ALPHA program in your area, which teaches some of the essentials about the Bible and the Christian faith. You can find a program nearby in the USA or in Canada, or visit the ALPHA website for other countries.

If you’d prefer to have a personal recommendation or have specific questions you can always contact us and we’ll try to point you in the right direction.