Major changes

• Your family has grown. Perhaps you got married. Your responsibility now extends to another person. The birth of a child increases your responsibility that much more. Be sure to expand your life and disability insurance coverage accordingly. A divorce, serious illness, or death in the family may also require you to adjust your insurance and estate plans. Changes in family obligations also affect spending patterns, investment goals and other aspects of your financial affairs.

• Health concerns. If you have been diagnosed with an illness, it may affect how you want to structure your finances. Perhaps you need funds readily available, or you need expert advice on the best way to access your savings.

• Your work has changed. Did you start a new job this year? Are you expecting a raise or promotion soon? Higher income means greater financial losses to your family if something were to happen to you. If you left a full-time job to raise children or start your own business, it’s crucial that you replace group insurance benefits with a personal plan. Think about how work is going. Do you expect a promotion? Is a layoff possible? Good news or bad — these should factor into your investment decisions.

• You took on debt. Perhaps you’ve bought a new home or car, or borrowed money to renovate your kitchen. If you’ve taken on additional debt, make sure your insurance is adequate to cover all liabilities and interest payments.

• You are approaching retirement. As you get closer to retirement age, an investment review and retirement plan is essential. Your tolerance for risk may go down, as you look for more stability and security. Your investment time horizon may also change to ensure that your funds are available when you want to access them.

For help in getting your financial needs in balance so you can live a more generous life, contact FaithLIfe Financial. We can provide a detailed financial analysis giving you the peace of mind that you have the necessary insurance coverage and investment mix for your current situation.

Call 1-800-563-6237, or email moreinfo@faithlifefinancial.ca.

Visit our website www.faithlifefinancial.ca

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Would you like to discover peace, despite your circumstances? Why does such tragedy strike? Where is God in all of this? Take this study and gain insight in the crisis situations of life.

Related:
Online study: When God doesn’t make sense
A Doctor’s Journey with Cancer

Do you believe in life after death? Questions? Ask us.

“And you will know the Truth and the Truth will set you free.” “For the Lord shall be your confidence, firm and strong” (John 8:32; Proverbs 3:26, Amp).

When I was fifteen I discovered that confidence must be rooted in and informed by truth or it won’t hold up in a crisis. Until my fifteenth year I lived a self-confident, carefree life. Mom and dad loved me and I enjoyed my friends and school. I lived for the moment, oblivious to life’s big questions, until my brother’s unexpected death changed everything.

Suddenly questions bombarded my mind. Where is Roy now? Will I see him again? Is God real? Can I know Him? Are Heaven and Hell actual places? If Heaven and Hell are real, how do I get to Heaven? Why does God let children die? Again and again, life and death questions flooded my mind. Without answers, my self-confidence grew shaky.

Self-confidence is exactly that — confidence in self’s intellect, giftedness, skills, beauty or wealth. Natural man doesn’t understand Spirit life. Eternal answers remain unknowable until truth becomes the cornerstone and foundation of our understanding.

My questions pressed me into a search for God. I began praying and reading a Bible my grandma gave me. Slowly, a pattern emerged and my confusion lifted. I began to understand God and the Truth in His word. “And you will know the Truth and the Truth will set you free.” “For the Lord shall be your confidence, firm and strong” (John 8:32; Proverbs 3:26 Amp).

Revealed truth became my cornerstone and began shaping the foundation of my life, informing and forming my Spirit man. “in Me you may have (perfect) peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer (take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted)! For I have overcome the world” (John 16:33, Amp).

In Christ we have perfect confidence and peace, the Apostle John states. And so, the question became, “How do I get ‘in’ Christ?” Romans 10:13 answers, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” If I am ‘saved’ will I then be ‘in’ Christ, I wondered.

I tried calling on the Lord. “Help me, Jesus. I want to know You, I want to be ‘in’ You.” Instantly, from deep within, I felt the comfort of His presence. Doubt vanished and I felt loved and accepted by God. Shaky self-confidence disappeared and deep assurance that Christ was ‘in’ me and I was ‘in’ Him filled me with bold new confidence in Christ.

I don’t yet have all the answers for my questions, but I know the One who knows the answers and that gives me peace of mind.

Dear Jesus, thank You for the bold confidence that obedience to Your Truth gives me. Faith in Your character and Word are the cornerstone and the foundation of confidence for every man and woman and child. Help us all walk in freedom of faith in our Eternal God. Thank You, amen.

Questions: Have you answered to question about life after death for yourself?

I gave a homeless man five minutes of my time, a smile and a chance to earn a few dollars.

Honestly I had tried to avoid him at first. I saw him walking toward me as I pushed my grocery cart across the parking lot. He wore cutoff jeans, a t-shirt with holes in it and some beat-up sneakers. His curly hair hung in a ponytail down to the middle of his back.

“Can I wash your windows for some spare change, ma’am?”

I hesitated trying to remember if I had any cash on me. I finally said “okay.”

“What? Really?” A grin spread across his face revealing a few missing teeth. “Wow.” He shook his head. “You caught me off guard ma’am.”

I wondered how many people had said “no.”

When I drove off a few minutes later, my windows sparkled. He smiled and waved.

Back at my apartment, I unloaded my groceries and wondered, “Do I show God the same kind of gratitude for His good and perfect gifts that this man showed me? If I don’t give thanks in good circumstances, how will I ever manage to do so during the not-so-good times?”

Paul’s Super Power

The apostle Paul gave thanks locked in a prison cell or shipwrecked on an island just as readily as in the company of good friends. In his letter to the Philippians (4:4) he encouraged his readers to do the same. “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: rejoice!”

Paul seems almost super-human in his contentment, doesn’t he? No food? No problem! Imprisonments, beatings, shipwrecks? Praise God! But what about the rest of us ordinary humans? For those who have watched a loved one die, or for those who have known the heartbreak of a lost romance, the command “rejoice always” seems near impossible to carry out. But I have good news. Paul does not leave us stranded on our own islands of discontent. Later in his letter to the Philippians (4:13), Paul shares his secret: “I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” Paul assumes the Christian empowered by Christ can do the near-impossible.

Paul’s “How-To’s”

He also gives some “how-to’s” to help his readers on their way. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God” (Phil 4:6).

How-To #1: Don’t Worry

We read in Luke’s Gospel where Jesus said, “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?” (12:25–26). In this crazy world we take great measures to protect ourselves from harm. When we buy a car, we check Consumer Reports for the safety rating. When we buy a house, we ask about the neighborhood’s crime rate. When we buy a carton of eggs, we check to make sure none have already cracked.

And yet we know that at some point bad things will happen. So what do we do? We buy insurance: car insurance, health insurance, life insurance, home owner’s insurance, insurance for floods, fire, wind. There comes a time when we’ve done everything we can do. At this point we should sit back, kick up our feet, and give it to God, but instead we worry.

Worrying comes naturally to me. If this describes you too, don’t fret. When that familiar feeling comes, you and I can remind ourselves that we have direct access through Jesus Christ to the God of all creation, and then go to Him in prayer. We can use worry like a string tied around the finger. We can present our requests to God and remember to give thanks.

How To #2: Give Thanks

When I took a typing class, my fingers moved clumsily across the keyboard. I made a lot of mistakes, and I typed slowly. Today when I type, my fingers move of their own accord, apart from any conscious direction from me. The muscles in my hand seem to perform automatically. Our minds work the same way. Once we establish a habit we can use that built-in muscle memory to our advantage. Paul instructs his readers to dwell on “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable” (Philippians 4:8) for that very purpose. The more we think about praiseworthy gifts, the more we will give thanks and praise.

Let’s start by thanking God for the small things, the things we take for granted. When we wake up in the morning let’s thank God for our comfortable beds. As we go through our morning routines, let’s thank Him for indoor plumbing and a hot shower. We can thank God for a pantry full of food, and the electricity that keeps our refrigerators cold. When we imagine life without these conveniences, we realize how big these “small” things truly are. Look around your home. For what can you thank God?

Paul Shows Us How

In 1 Thessalonians, Paul instructs his readers to “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (5:16–17). How many times have we prayed to know God’s will or searched the Scriptures for answers? Right in this verse Paul says it plainly: God wills that we give thanks continually. Establishing thankful habits will prepare us to give thanks even in the not-so-good times.

God does not promise His followers lives free of suffering. When Paul pleaded with God to remove a painful circumstance in His life, God answered “no.” But He also said, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9). God did not remove Paul’s pain, but He did enable Paul to praise Him through it.

Maybe like Paul you have experienced a depth of pain unfathomable to most. But God’s truth remains true through any crisis. He commands us to give thanks in all circumstances because in hard times a thankful heart leads us out of our pain.

Noemia Cessito works with Children’s Relief International serving the poorest of the poor in Mozambique. Speaking about the AIDS victims in her ministry, she said, “Here in Africa girls become women early. Many become mothers at age 13 or 14. Real babies suddenly take the place of their dolls. When these women have an opportunity to play, they quickly become children again. They run like they never ran as children. They laugh until their bellies ache. In that brief moment of time, they give themselves over to joy and they forget about their AIDS.”

Acts of thanksgiving will not quick-fix our pain. But like those women who embraced the opportunity to rejoice even in the most dire circumstances, we too can find relief from our grief when we lift up a prayer of sincere thanks to God. When we see God and His good gifts through our pain, healing eventually comes, and through that process we learn worship. That worship turns our suffering into joy, our mourning into mirth.

After my encounter with the homeless man, as I put away my strawberries, my yogurt, my bread, my milk, and especially my ice cream, I thanked God for His provision, and the gift this man had given me. His abundant gratitude for my meager offering made me keenly aware of the meager gratitude I offer to God for His abundance. While I filled my refrigerator, thanks filled my heart, and I realized God’s command to give thanks is a gift in itself.

Related reading:
Learn to Listen to God – Take our online interactive study on how to discern what God is telling you
Reason to Rejoice – Why the resurrection is our greatest reason

Do you feel cared for? Try this online study.

One day I was home sick with a really bad cold/flu combination. I was lying on the couch. Our grandson wanted me to play. I explained that I was not feeling good and needed to rest.

A few minutes later, just as I was slipping off to sleep, he came up to me and put his blue blanket over me. This was not just any blanket. This was his special blanket that goes everywhere with him. (If it cannot be found at bed time or in sad moments, it is a major crisis.) The fact he was willing to loan me his blue blanket was a gesture of something special.  He did not say, “I love you,” or “I trust you with my blanket” but he cared for me with a simple, sacrificial act.

It made me reflect on what I hold as precious and what I’m willing to give to God. This blue blanket ranks really high on the list of precious things for my grandson. I was reminded that God is perfect in his love for me. I can and must trust him with any and all my precious things.

I wonder if we can bless God as we are willing to give to him in simple acts of love and obedience. Was this blanket big enough to cover me? No but at that moment it was the best blanket in the world!! It blessed me. It made me feel valued, cared for and loved.

The Bible indicates that we can bless God through giving generously from the heart.  2 Corinthians 9 says:

“Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work” (2 Corinthians 9:6-8, NIV).

Questions: What is the most precious thing that you can give God?

About the Author Mike Woodard

Choose a friend. Look at your life and choose one or two close, trustworthy people to include in your confidence.  You really need support to walk through this with.  Make sure this person can keep a confidence and is a source of help for you.  You will need someone to talk through your decisions with.  Make sure you keep your circle of confidence small, don’t tell everyone. You can always broaden the circle as needed, but you can never take the information back after it is out there.

Develop a plan.   Your plan will depend on the timeline in your journey.  Is this the first day you found out, the first month or one year later?  Your plan may include getting kids picked up, getting dinner on the table, pampering yourself, etc. Further into the process you need a plan to make decisions.  Take control, don’t just let “it unfold”.  Make educated decisions taking in to account emotions, but not ruled by emotions.

There are no right, wrong, or easy answers to the question, “What do I do now?”  Some people have pre-set answers before they find themselves in this situation.  Some people say, “I’d change the locks, if that ever happens”.  But when faced with the reality, they love their spouse and want to work things out if possible.

Make sure you eat and get rest. If you cannot eat, get some nutrition drinks to keep your body going.  You need to stay strong to make decisions and get through this.  You may need some time off work.  Take the time to take care of yourself through this.

Allow others to help you.  If you need child care, rides for kids, or meals, let others do those things for you.  Don’t allow pride to rob you of much needed help during this difficult time.

Let some of your expectations go, and just focus on getting through today.  You will not be able to achieve as much as normal during this time of stress.  Lower the bar for yourself until you can develop a coping strategy.  I recently heard an answer I just love, “Right now I am focusing on breathing in, and then breathing out”.  I love it because, in crisis, that is enough.

Get some resources to help you.  Books, podcasts, a counselor are all available to help.  It’s important to educate yourself as you make decisions.  Hearing stories of others will help too.  You are not alone and it will not always hurt this intensely.

If you would like to talk to a mentor we have mentors here.   Mentors are trained volunteers with real world experience and can often help to offer a second opinion, a listening ear or other resources. These are big issues you’re dealing with and mentors are the best resource we have to help work through them.

The mentor would email you using our secure system which ensures your privacy and protects your information.  If you want to keep talking, just hit reply.  The conversation is confidential and non-judgmental.   You can keep talking to your mentor as long as you like and there is never a fee.

If this sounds like something that might help, just click on the Talk to a Mentor top at the top right of this page and fill out the form.  A mentor will contact you.

Recommended Resources on this topic are:

Beyond affairs Network

My Husband’s affair Became the Best Thing that Ever Happened to Me by Anne Bercht.

Torn Asunder: Recovering From an Extramarital Affair by Dave Carder

Torn Asunder Workbook: Recovering from Extramarital Affairs by Dave Carder

Take a deep breath: You will survive, you are not alone and it has happened to someone else, there is hope.  You feel like your world is out of control right now and it probably is.  Remember it won’t stay this way forever.  Think of another time you felt overwhelmed, what did you do to handle it in a healthy way?  We all handle stress differently some need to talk; some need a quiet walk, others write, you may exercise. Stay away from negative ways of handling stress.  Consider your best go to response to handle stress and make sure you build this into your life.

Get help: We all need help at times. Help is not a sign of weakness, but strength. Make sure to reach out for help when you need it.  Find a pastor, trusted friend, or mentor and ask for help.  Let them know you are hurting and what you need from them.  If your crisis is severe, you may need them to get you to the right help, counselor, coach, intervention etc.  Often in severe crisis making simple decisions is overwhelming, much less making big decisions.  Make sure this person is wise and makes good choices.  Help comes in many forms:  a meal, someone to talk to, someone to remind you of a different perspective, a gift, (money or food), a place to stay, babysitting and many others.  You need help now so accept that from someone who cares.  If you have a home church this is a good starting place.   Or we can connect you with one of our mentors who will help give your some guidance on-line.

Focus on Now: What needs to be done today? Don’t focus on the long term, focus on today, if that is too overwhelming, focus on the next hour.  What can you do today?   The thing about today is that we have enough energy for now, not enough to figure out the future and all the different scenarios.  The Bible has some wisdom on this topic Mathew 6:34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Control your emotions: It is VERY easy to let emotions make your decisions in a time of crisis.  Use your emotions as an indicator rather than a decision maker. Emotions are important as they are a barometer of what is going on, that being said, they can greatly lead in the wrong directions if left untamed or shut out.  So the bottom line is, don’t ignore emotions but don’t let them rule your life and decisions. 

Make a plan:  What needs to be done immediately? Is physical safety an issue?  Can you function?  Do kids need caring for?  Make a plan, you may need someone who cares to help with a plan.  Educating yourself about your specific crisis may be part of your plan.  Know what you are dealing with, but don’t assume worst case scenario.

Understand the problem. It is important to realize that every marriage or family problem involves at least two people: you and the other person. How might you have contributed to the problem? How might you need to change? What attitudes and actions need to be addressed? The more you understand the problem, and how to address it, the better prepared you are.

By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established. Proverbs 24:3

Be comforted:  Prayer and God’s word can be very comforting in crisis.  Prayer is a big help.  You are not alone, God cares about you and your situation.   One of our prayer mentors is available for you.

Psalm 46:1   God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

Philippians 4:6-9 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

Every marriage and family has problems, but sometimes those problems appear so difficult that it seems impossible to address them—at least with your knowledge and in your own power.  On this website you will find many resources to help you understand principles that will strengthen your home. In this article, we’d like to help you evaluate your issue to help you determine if professional counseling is needed.

There are actually several levels of problems in a home. And different options are available for each level. The four levels we will look at here are:

Basic issue – common and every marriage experiences this level

More serious – beyond basic, not yet out of control

Desperation – Issues are constant and you feel desperate

Crisis – Crisis has hit and you don’t know which way to turn

Keep reading to learn more about each area

Level One: Basic Issues or Problems

Are you facing issues in your family that stem from things like selfishness and pride?  Perhaps you lack the knowledge of how to make your marriage relationship work or how to raise your children.  Here are some examples:

• Difficulty in resolving conflicts in marriage
• Consistent lying in a young or pre-teen child
• Young child repeatedly throws fits to get his/her way
• Sibling rivalries
• Little or no deeper communication with spouse
• Misunderstandings about your sexual relationship in your marriage
• Poor habits in handling finances

This is not a complete list, just examples of some basic issues. Issues like these are common and help is available.

Find someone to talk to.  Start with a mentor, pastor or trusted wise friend to get help.  Ask for book, video, or audio resources regarding your situation.  Find a group to discuss what you are going through; knowing you are not alone is huge! Having a mentor is so helpful;often an older couple who is further along in life is a great resource.  Choose wisely who to open your heart to.

This website offers many resources—audio from radio, articles on most marriage and family problems, and resources you can purchase. If you need some ideas, use the navigation bar above to click on an area of need or interest.

We particularly recommend FamilyLife’s conferences: the Weekend to Remember is a three day conference, or A Day Together a one day conference. This is a fun and informative way for married couples to learn principles for building a solid marriage. These conferences have been instrumental in changing the lives of hundreds of thousands of couples.

Remember that family problems are the norm, not the exception. Don’t get frustrated because your children are not listening and obeying you; or your husband or wife does not seem to understand you. It happens to every couple or family at some point.  It is important to seek help or answers before things get out of control.

Level Two: More Serious Problems

Do you feel that your problems go beyond basic issues but are not yet out of control?
For example:

• The communication breakdown between you and your spouse is acute.
• Not sure that the two of you are still in love.
• Focus on priorities other than your marriage or family—jobs, hobbies, etc.
• One of you handles most of the discipline of children.
• A teenager is becoming more and more difficult to manage.
• Frustration is a prevailing emotion over issues in your family life.

If one or more of these examples resonates with you, there is a lot of help for you. One of the first things to consider is a marriage conference. These conferences are available to give you answers and tools to help change your marriage or home.

The Weekend to Remember or A Day Together conference can be a tremendous help. When you attend one of these conferences, you will also be introduced to and get to see many of the best resources FamilyLife has to offer.  Conferences can open communication or reveal problem areas in a relationship in a non-threatening environment; while equipping you to help yourselves.  You are not alone; there is help and hope.

Find someone to talk to.  This is no longer a nice suggestion, but a significant step. Gaining a different perspective is VERY important in serious family issues. Consider your options:  a pastor, wise friend, older mentor couple, marriage coach, or counselor.  Remember, just because a friend is willing to listen does not make him/her equipped to help.  Choose wisely.  Our mentors are available to you as well.

Prayer is a very important resource for hurting relationships.  God cares and is available.  One of our prayer mentors is available for you.

Millions of people around the world turn to prayer and the Bible as a source of help when dealing with difficult situations. Both offer comfort and the realization that you are not alone in this ; there is hope and help. Remember, God is the ultimate source of help and He loves you just as you are.Philipieans4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Educate yourself by reading books and articles and watching videos etc.

Level Three: Desperation

Are you are at your wits end?  Perhaps you feel a sense of desperation that things will never change. It is definitely time for help through Christian counseling. Are your issues like these:

• All or most of your communication with your spouse ends in anger or hurt feelings
• Physical intimacy is non-existent or nearly so
• The routine of life keeps you going, not being fulfilled or full of joy
• One or both of you think about separation or divorce
• A child is in full rebellion
• Issues of sex, drugs, or alcohol touch your teen’s life
• You feel like a single parent even though you are still married

These and other serious issues indicate that problems are chronic. The issue(s) may have been growing in your family for months or years.  You feel as though the problem is your constant companion. At times, you think the situation is hopeless.  Don’t give up; there is hope.  Hang in there and get help.

A Christian counselor is trained and committed to helping people like you.  We have a list of national list of referral counselors. This will help you know where to begin or how to proceed in returning life to normal again.

If your spouse or child refuses talk to a counselor, perhaps you should consider Conflict Coaching or Mediation. Be sure to read our articles that define this option.

Level Four:  Crisis

If you have already filed for separation or divorce, and one or both of you has completely given up on the marriage, we consider this a crisis, and you need to contact someone immediately. Also, find a resource that can begin to reshape your perspective.  Find some close, spiritually mature friends to pray with and for you.  Make sure you actively pursue counseling, conflict coaching, or mediation. You may want to include a Weekend to Remember or A Day Together conference in your search for change and help.

These indicators would show the need to seek counseling immediately:

• Separation or divorce is in process
• An affair is active or recently ended
• Pornography has a hold in your life or spouse’s life
• A teen talks of suicide
• You have lost control of your teen
• You are sure your teen is abusing drugs and/or alcohol

These links can help you in your search.

If you are at this point in your marriage, begin with a pastor and ask for a referral to a counselor. If he is not able to give you direction to a counselor, please visit our list of referral counselors.

As you reach out for help, ask your pastor and close friends to pray for your family. This is a crucial time in your life and facing crises often demands hope. We believe that true hope comes from an understanding that God is in control. If you are not sure that you can trust God, you may need to begin a relationship with Him through Jesus Christ. Click here for an explanation about how you can know God personally.

Take a deep breath

Get help: We all need help at times. Help is not a sign of weakness, but strength. Make sure to reach out for help when you need it.  Find a pastor, trusted friend, or mentor and ask for help.  Let them know you are hurting and what you need from them.  If your crisis is severe, you may need them to get you to the right help, counselor, coach, intervention etc.  Often in severe crisis making simple decisions is overwhelming, much less making big decisions.  Make sure this person is wise and makes good choices.

Help comes in many forms:  a meal, someone to talk to, someone to remind you of a different perspective, a gift, (money or food), a place to stay, babysitting and many others.  You need help now so accept that from someone who cares.  If you have a home church this is a good starting place. If you do not go to church we can connect you with one of our mentors who will help give your some guidance on-line.

Focus on now: What needs to be done today? Don’t focus on the long term, focus on today, if that is too overwhelming, focus on the next hour.  What can you do today?   The thing about today is that we have enough energy for now, not enough to figure out the future and all the different scenarios.  “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. “(Mathew 6:34 )

Control your emotions: It is VERY easy to let emotions make your decisions in a time of crisis.  Use your emotions as an indicator rather than a decision maker. Emotions are important as they are a barometer of what is going on, that being said, they can greatly lead in the wrong directions if left untamed or shut out.  So the bottom line is, don’t ignore emotions but don’t let them rule your life and decisions.

Make a plan: What needs to be done immediately? Is physical safety an issue?  Can you function?  Do kids need caring for?  Make a plan, you may need someone who cares to help with a plan.  Educating yourself about your specific crisis may be part of your plan.  Know what you are dealing with, but don’t assume worst case scenario.

Understand the problem. It is important to realize that every marriage or family problem involves at least two people: you and the other person. How might you have contributed to the problem? How might you need to change? What attitudes and actions need to be addressed? The more you understand the problem, and how to address it, the better prepared you are. Remember Proverbs 24:3, “By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established.”

Be comforted:  Prayer and God’s word can be very comforting in crisis.  Prayer is a big help.  You are not alone, God cares about you and your situation.  If you are facing a difficult time in your life we would love the opportunity to pray for you.

Requests sent to us will not be posted on the website. All requests will be mailed out to our prayer team, and a prayer mentor may respond to you. Whenever possible we pray for these requests within a day of receiving them. If we receive a lot of requests, a quick response time may not be possible, but we will be praying for you.

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.” (Philippians 4:6-9)

Take a deep breath:

Get help: We all need help at times. Help is not a sign of weakness, but strength.  Make sure to reach out for help when you need it.  Find a pastor, trusted friend, or mentor and ask for help. Let them know you are hurting and what you need from them.  If your crisis is severe, you may need them to get you to the right help, counselor, coach, intervention etc.  Often in severe crisis making simple decisions is overwhelming, much less making big decisions.  Make sure this person is wise and makes good choices.

Help comes in many forms:  a meal, someone to talk to, someone to remind you of a different perspective, a gift, (money or food), a place to stay, babysitting and many others.  You need help now so accept that from someone who cares.  If you have a home church this is a good starting place. If you do not go to church we can connect you with one of our mentors who will help give your some guidance on-line.

Focus on now: What needs to be done today? Don’t focus on the long term, focus on today, if that is too overwhelming, focus on the next hour.  What can you do today?   The thing about today is that we have enough energy for now, not enough to figure out the future and all the different scenarios.  There is a verse in the Bible that says”Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Mathew 6:34 )

Control your emotions:  It is VERY easy to let emotions make your decisions in a time of crisis.  Use your emotions as an indicator rather than a decision maker.  Emotions are important as they are a barometer of what is going on, that being said, they can greatly lead in the wrong directions if left untamed or shut out.  So the bottom line is, don’t ignore emotions but don’t let them rule your life and decisions.

Make a plan:  What needs to be done immediately? Is physical safety an issue?  Can you function?  Do kids need caring for?  Make a plan, you may need someone who cares to help with a plan.  Educating yourself about your specific crisis may be part of your plan.  Know what you are dealing with, but don’t assume worst case scenario.

Understand the problem. It is important to realize that every marriage or family problem involves at least two people: you and the other person. How might you have contributed to the problem? How might you need to change? What attitudes and actions need to be addressed? The more you understand the problem, and how to address it, the better prepared you are.

Be comforted:  prayer and God’s word can be very comforting in crisis.  Prayer is a big help.  You are not alone, God cares about you and your situation.  Millions of people around the world believe in the power of prayer. If you are facing a difficult time in your life we would love the opportunity to pray for you.

Requests sent to us will not be posted on the website. A prayer mentor will respond to your request. Whenever possible we pray for these requests within a day of receiving them. If we receive a lot of requests, a quick response time may not be possible, but we will be praying for you.