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This is supposed to be a season of joy and happiness, but many people don’t feel it. Many people suffer from bouts of depression or the blues at different times during the year. During the holiday season people encounter memories of loved ones they have lost through death or divorce or friends who have moved away. People experience stress and difficult family reunions over the holidays. Depression is a growing problem. In fact, psychologists have said that we live in an “age of depression”.

There are many causes for this mood disorder. Reasons for depression range from grief, divorce, major changes, lack of sunlight or physical exercise, a general disappointment with life or friends, low self-worth, relationship, spiritual or anger problems, false beliefs about life and God, trauma from the past, deficiency of neurological chemicals and more.

What are some of the symptoms of depression? Check to see if you have been experiencing any of these symptoms:

1. Loss of appetite. Weight gain or loss.
2. Depressed affect. Children & Adolescents: cranky, irritable, angry/explosive outbursts.
3. Diminished interest in or enjoyment of activities.
4. Psychomotor agitation or retardation.
5. Sleeplessness or hypersomnia.
6. Lack of energy.
7. Poor concentration and indecisiveness.
8. Social withdrawal.
9. Suicidal thoughts and/or gestures.
10. Feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness, excessive or inappropriate guilt.
11. Low self-esteem.
12. Unresolved grief issues.
13. Hallucinations or delusions.

If you have 3 or more of the above symptoms which have lasted for over 2 weeks, you should seek medical help or professional counseling. You can find a counselor or go to the nearest mental health center.If you are suicidal please contact 911 (in the USA or Canada) or go to a hospital emergency room.

How do you move beyond depression?

Usually people who are feeling depressed are not doing what would help them feel better.

• Talking about your feelings with someone is very beneficial. Exploring with someone, especially a counselor, what is underlying your feelings can help you begin to problem-solve.
• Seeing your doctor for a physical exam and telling him/her about your depression can lead to further treatment for physiological causes. You may need to consider taking an anti-depressant.
• Regular exercise and proper diet, spending time with family and friends and reaching out to others is very helpful. Seeking a relationship with God and praying to Him brings hope and encouragement when you are feeling down-hearted.

If you or someone you know are trying these activities and still stuck in depression, it is wise to seek out professional Christian counseling.

Is there a spiritual dimension to depression?

Is there a spiritual dimension to depression that gets overlooked when we rush into taking medication? In other words, in our effort to “hurry up and feel good” do we possibly miss out on important lessons that God might be wanting to teach us? There most certainly is always a spiritual dimension to depression. In the book of Psalms in the Bible, David, one of the Kings of Israel wrote:

Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.

Most people who walk in my office feeling depressed are spiritually hungry. Many have a general sense of distance from or disappointment with God. They struggle with periods of doubt about God’s love for them and begin to question whether He will help them through their problems. Some people express anger towards God wondering, “how a good God can allow suffering?”. Or they question whether God exists. This spiritual vacuum can actually be the basis for some of the hopelessness and despair they feel.

Depression is a complex disorder.

Since human beings are very complex it is necessary to address all the underlying causes of depression such as: low self-esteem, losses, physical pain, relationship or financial issues, guilt, shame, trauma, dysfunctional family issues, along with the spiritual and physiological reasons.

Medication can give people more motivation and energy to get through a depressive period in their life but it will not be a cure-all for depression. One must take steps to fight depression on all fronts: spiritually, mentally, physically, emotionally and relationally.

The great news for this holiday season and throughout the year is that God does exist and whether you realize it right now or not, he loves you very much.  You are not in this alone. If you are looking for someone you can place your trust in, a foundation to build upon, you can find that safe place whether you’re in a relationship right now or not.  Place your trust in God and his promises.  Anchor your life to the hope that he brings.

He is the well deep enough to draw from when you need peace, hope and wisdom, insight and love, endurance and faith. He gave His Son Jesus Christ to die on the cross for all our sins.  Everyone feels unworthy sometimes, but God thinks you’re worth it—even worth the death of His Son.

You can receive Christ right now by faith through prayer. Praying is simply talking to God. God knows your heart and is not so concerned with your words as He is with the attitude of your heart. Here’s a suggested prayer:

Lord Jesus, I want to know you personally. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life to you and ask you to come in as my Savior and Lord. Take control of my life. Thank you for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Make me the kind of person you want me to be.

Does this prayer express the desires of your heart? You can pray it right now, and Jesus will come into your life, and forgive you of your sins forever, just as he promised.

Feeling low this Christmas season?  You’re not alone.  Amid cheery songs, festive parties, gifts and good wishes, many lonely people are crying or dying on the inside.  Maybe you’re one of them.  I was.

During a horrible year, my wife of 20 years divorced me, my employer of 25 years fired me, and I had a cancer scare.  As I drove home one night, lovely Christmas music came on the radio.  Melancholy aching evidenced the deep pain of abandonment and loss that I was still processing.

No fun.

Blue Christmas

Romantic estrangement, family strife, and bereavement can make your holidays dismal.  One of Elvis Presley’s most popular songs was “Blue Christmas.”  A lonely crooner mourns heartbreaking lost love.  Performers from The Beach Boys to Celine Dion, Loretta Lynn, and Jon Bon Jovi have recorded it.

Does even thinking about that song make you depressed?  The spoofed “Porky Pig” version could get you laughing.  Google will take you there.  But please … wait until finishing this short article to search, OK?!

Several factors can produce Christmas blues.¹ Hectic activity can bring physical and emotional stress.  Overspending can produce financial pressure.  Year-end reflection and focus on loss can magnify sorrow.

McGill University psychologist Dr. Michael Spevack notes, “Overeating and over drinking combined with a decreased amount of sleep is also a formula for extreme emotional swings.”  Depression can lead to thoughts of suicide, especially among the socially isolated, he says.²

The “empty chair”

Is your family apart this season by necessity or choice?  Maybe an “empty chair” reminds you of your pain.  Does Christmas “Ho, Ho, Ho” contrast with your deep anguish?

One widow recalled how she felt during the Christmas after her husband’s death:  “Little mattered to me. I didn’t want to hear carols. I didn’t want to be cheered up. I didn’t want to look at perky Christmas cards. I wanted the same thing I’d wanted every day for eight months: the strength to force myself out of bed in the morning, to brush my teeth and to eat.”³

One possible influence, Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), is a form of depression the medical community doesn’t completely understand.  The Mayo Clinic says genetics, age and body chemistry could be the culprits.  Mayo recommends seeing your doctor if you feel down for days and have motivation problems.  Symptoms can include changing sleep patterns and appetite, feeling hopeless, contemplating suicide, or seeking comfort in alcohol.⁴

Coping

How can you cope with Christmas loneliness?  Some suggestions:

• Spend time with people, especially positive ones who lift your spirits.  Perhaps you’ll be grateful for their cheer.
• Exercise regularly. Blood pumping can help clear your mind.
• Eat right.  Chocaholics beware.  Overindulgence can mean temporary highs followed by disappointing flab.
• Lights on!  Enjoy sunlight, outdoors if possible.  Brighten up your home and workplace.  Light therapy sometimes helps SAD.
• Budget your gift spending and stick with your budget.  Prevent January bill shock.
• Talk about your feelings.  Keeping them bottled up can mean anxiety, ulcers, sour disposition, and/or explosion.  Need a trusted, listening friend?  Try a local church.
• Give to others.  Volunteer.  Medical professor Stephen Post, PhD, is convinced that giving is essential for optimum physical and mental health in our fragmented society.  He says some California physicians give volunteerism “prescriptions” to their Medicare patients.⁵
• Seek counsel.  I used to be embarrassed to obtain professional counsel.  Now I recommend it.  We all can use good advice navigating life’s storms.
• Develop spiritual roots.  I’m glad that before my dark days began, I had a friendship with God.

Tired of friends who betray, manipulate, disrespect, or desert you?  God won’t.  He cares for you, values you, will listen to you and comfort you.  You can trust Him.  He always wants your best.

One early believer put it this way: “Since God did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t God, who gave us Christ, also give us everything else?”⁶His point: God loved us enough to send Jesus, his only Son, to die on the cross to pay the penalty for our wrong, our sins.  What a demonstration of love!  I can trust a God like that.  Then Jesus rose from the dead so He could live inside us and become our friend.

Your choice

Would you like to meet Jesus, the best friend you could ever have?  Wouldn’t Christmas season be a great time to place your faith in Him?  You can tell Him something like this:

Jesus, I need you.  Thanks for dying and rising again for me.  Please forgive me, enter my life, and give me eternal life.  Help me to become good friends with you and learn to follow your lead.

End notes

1. “Christmas Holiday Depression,” 18 December 2005; www.medicalnewstoday.com.
2. Ibid.
3. Mary Cartledgehayes, “Blue Christmas – Grieving Through The Holidays,” Christian Century, December 27, 2003; www.findarticles.com.
4. “Seasonal affective disorder (SAD),” Mayo Clinic Staff, September 24, 2007; www.mayoclinic.com.
5. Stephen Post, PhD., and Jill Neimark, Why Good Things Happen to Good People (New York: Broadway Books, 2007).

“It’s my party and I can cry if I want to.” This was my attitude when my husband, a Marine pilot, was deployed over the holidays.

The first few holidays David was deployed, I went back to Canada where my parents live so I wouldn’t have to be by myself. But that became costly and it was too much work dragging four kids on the airplane.

I remember the day I determined to finally spend Christmas at home without running away. I imagined waking up Christmas morning, with my four children tugging on my pajamas, excited to see what was under the tree. Then I felt anxious, knowing I would miss out on what I knew so many other couples were doing… drinking eggnog together, making pancakes, dancing to Christmas music.

And what about David? I knew he was having just as difficult a time. It was just different. What was he eating in Iraq during Thanksgiving? At least I was invited to a friend’s house, no matter how awkward it felt sitting at a formal dining room table with her and her husband. David was probably eating hot dogs and chips, perhaps the candy I sent him. And then he would take a baby wipe and wash his hands afterwards, seeing as there was lack of sinks and water. Of course, he would be imagining what I was doing with our kids, wanting to be home to fry a turkey and make a bon-fire, and just hang out.

As Christmas approached, he was probably looking in his mailbox wondering when a gift would come for him. What about a card? Was anybody back home thinking about him?

A new celebration

After languishing through the holidays during David’s first few deployments, it hit me: Why load the holidays with such expectations? Why not see every day as a holiday, a day of celebration?

I began to sit down with my children and make banners and gifts for their father on a daily basis. I would buy the kids gifts on non-calendar holiday days just to show them I celebrated them all the time. Sometimes, it was the simple things they longed to do… reading a book, or playing Frisbee, making crafts, even sitting down on the couch and watching a movie.

We found creative ways to celebrate, even without Daddy around. Every day became Christmas, in a way. Every day became a day of Thanks, and every day became a day of Love in our home. David would even find ways to celebrate with us by sending handmade cards to each of the kids on a regular basis. One year, I received around seven different Valentine cards in a week. I laughed. He knew.

“Choose life!”

In many ways…we can choose life…living to the fullest, seeing every day as a day of opportunity to celebrate. I have realized it is in all our perspective and how we choose to look at things. I choose life… every day! What about you?

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His deployment changed everything
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Updated to modern English by Darren Hewer, 2008.

“… for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith —of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire— may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.” 1 Peter 1:6b-7

Untested faith may be real faith, but it is sure to be immature faith. It is likely to remain immature as long as it never faces difficulties.

When all things seem against it, faith often prospers. Storms are faith’s illuminators. When a calm reigns on the sea, spreading a ship’s sails is futile because the ship will never leave its harbor. However, when the howling winds rush forth causing the water to crash intensely around the ship, even though the vessel may rock and its deck may be flooded by the waves, it is only then that it will progress towards its destination.

No stars gleam as brightly as those which glisten in the polar sky. No water tastes so sweet as that which springs amid the desert sand. And no faith is so precious as that which lives and triumphs through adversity. Tested faith brings experience. You would never have believed your own weakness had you not needed to pass through trials. And you would never have known God’s strength had His strength not been needed to carry you through. Faith is precious, and since they may build faith they are precious too.

This shouldn’t, however, discourage anyone who is young in faith. You’ll face enough trials without even looking for them! These faith building tests will be measured out to you in due time. Meanwhile, if you currently lack experience, thank God for what grace you’ve received and praise Him for the degree of holy confidence you’ve attained so far, while honestly asking Him to bring you even more. Continue to walk in faith, and, through success and adversity, you will have more and more of the blessing of God until your faith is powerful enough to move mountains!

Question: What trials have you faced lately, and how could they be working to mature your faith?

I have done a good deal of thinking and writing about Pharisees (probably because I understand them so well) and one comment that Jesus made about them stands out to me: “Unless your righteousness surpasses that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 5:20)

Such a statement would have come as a shock to the general Jewish populace who considered the Pharisees as perched atop the religious hierarchy. It certainly would have come as a shock to the Pharisees themselves, who took pride in looking down from there. These people spent all their time being righteous. They were scrupulous about this, and in so doing, they set the bar for everyone else. They were the righteous professionals. To disqualify them and everyone under them, as Jesus did, put righteousness out of everyone’s reach.

Which, of course, was the whole idea. This was not a statement to make people try harder to be holy. It was a statement to persuade people to give up trying. If Jesus was rejecting the best that the best could do, then who could possibly stand a chance of being good enough to get into heaven? No one. And isn’t that the point Jesus was trying to make? Only sinners get saved; only the lost can be found. The Pharisees were too good for heaven, too good for grace, too good for the gift of salvation.

True righteousness is something that can only come from Christ, and it comes through the admission of our own unrighteousness and a total dependence upon God to make us clean. What He wants is way beyond us and we cannot begin any real growth without realizing this. Our goodness comes through faith in what Christ has done for us on the cross in forgiving our sins and in giving us His Spirit. It is that Spirit that begins to work on our insides, changing us from the inside out, and the good that comes from this is so clearly outside our ability to manufacture it as to leave us as surprised as anyone.

I’ve often heard the objection to becoming a Christian on the grounds of Christianity being a crutch. I always laugh when I hear that because if that’s all faith is, I wouldn’t be a Christian either. Did Jesus endure a brutal death on a cross just so he could hand us a crutch to help us along? I don’t think so. We weren’t just stumbling along without Jesus; we were dead. Christianity isn’t a crutch; it’s an iron lung. It’s a cure for cancer. It’s a heart transplant.

Question: Have you ever heard someone derisively refer to faith as “just a crutch”? How did you (or how can you) respond to such an accusation?

Originally written by Charles H. Spurgeon, published in “Mornings & Evenings,” entry for November 6th, AM.
Updated to modern English by Darren Hewer, 2008.

“I will pour out water to quench your thirst” Isaiah 44:3

When a Christian believer falls into spiritual depression, he or she often tries to lift themselves out of it by focusing on their sorrow. That’s not the way to rise from the dust. It’s a sure way to continue in it.

It is not the law, but the gospel which saves the seeking soul. And it is not legal slavery, but gospel liberty which can restore the hurting believer. Slavish fear won’t bring back the backslider to God, but the sweet wooings of love will draw them back to Jesus. Similarly, the spiritually depressed must focus on the living God’s love and promises.

Are you today thirsting for the living God, and unhappy because you cannot find him to the delight of your heart? Have you lost the joy of your relationship with God? Then this is this your prayer: “Restore to me the joy of your salvation.” (Psalm 52:12)

If you are feeling totally barren, like the dry ground, in this state you are not producing the fruit which God has a right to expect of you. Here is the promise which you need: “I will pour out water to quench your thirst.” (Isaiah 44:3)

You will receive all the grace you require, and it will exceed all of your needs. Water refreshes the thirsty and you will be refreshed. Your desires shall be gratified. Pulse quickened by exhilarating grace. Harvest of fruit multiplied. You will enjoy all of the goodness of divine grace. It will be as though you were drenched with the water of divine grace. How do I know that? Because God promised it!

And as sometimes the meadows become flooded by the bursting rivers, and the fields turn into pools, you yourself will become a pool of living water as God fills you. In this way the entire thirsty land can become full of pools of living water for the good and refreshment of all!

Question: Have you felt spiritually dry lately?

“For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace” Romans 8:6, KJV

I believe the truth of this verse may speak to a common cause of depression among Christians who allow their minds to dwell on ungodly thoughts and/or over-introspection.

Paul writes: “I advise you to obey only the Holy Spirit’s instructions. He will tell you where to go and what to do, and then you won’t always be doing the wrong things your evil nature wants you to. For we naturally love to do evil things that are just the opposite from the things that the Holy Spirit tells us to do, and the good things we want to do when the Spirit has His way with us are just the opposite of our natural desires” (Galatians 5:16,17).

Our minds are susceptible to the influence of our old sin- nature and, as such, can pose real dangers to us. As soon as we get out of step with the Holy Spirit and get our focus off the Lord, our minds begin to give us trouble.

“The Christian life is really simple,” I heard a pastor say recently. “It’s simply doing what we’re told to do.” And he is right. We will be spiritually minded, not carnally minded, if we obey the simple commands of God’s Word.

Bible Reading: Romans 8:5-11

Today’s Action Point: Through the enabling of the Holy Spirit, I will give the spiritual mind priority over the carnal mind in my life.

Are you hiding behind secrets?

“God is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance” (2. Peter 3:9)

During my visit in Senegal, West Africa, my daughter and I went to see a dear Senegalese friend. Fatima had just returned from a trip to Mecca and was she ever excited! Her eyes glowed as she said, “I was in the procession of millions of other believers; I performed all the ceremonies; I circled the Ka’aba (the cube shaped stone building); I said all the prayers. I did it all.” Then her eyes clouded as she lowered her voice, “Still, if Allah should call me tonight, I don’t know if he would receive me into his heaven,” she said. “That’s really his choice, isn’t it?”

“Fatima, we can know for sure,” my daughter replied. “Should God call me tonight, I know I’d go to heaven, not because of all the things I’ve done, but because of what Jesus has done for me.” She took Fatima’s hand and said softly, “And also for you – Jesus died for your sins also.”

An impersonal God requires ritual, rote prayers, sacrifices... and we can never be sure if we’ve done enough.

The Bible teaches that we have a personal God who wants a love relationship with us. He wants it so badly that He gave His only Son to die for our sins on the Cross.

Do you know of one person who doesn’t know Jesus personally? Perhaps she’s struggling with addictions, depression, loneliness or pride. What can you do to help her find Jesus?

1. Pray for her by name every day. Prayer breaks down spiritual barriers.

2. Spend time with her: Go for walks together, go out for coffee with her, help her with a project

3. Listen to her without giving advice. Listening affirms a person as a valued human being.

4. When you’ve gained her trust, share the good news of a personal, risen Savior who wants to set her free.

5. Continue to be her friend even if she doesn’t respond. Coming to Jesus is like being born again – there’s a gestation period. We need to continue to water the seed even though we don’t see a harvest.

Lord Jesus, you are still the good Shepherd who came to seek and to save the lost. I commit my friend to you right now…………(name her). I pray that your Holy Spirit will soften her heart and open her eyes to your salvation. Amen

Questions: Do you know someone who is struggling with life? How can you help her?  What can you do to help her find Jesus?

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