“For you have been my refuge, a place of safety when I am in distress. O my Strength, to you I sing praises, for you, O God, are my refuge, the God who shows me unfailing love”. (Psalm 59:16b-17, NLT)

I was cleaning my house getting it ready for company when the phone rang. The voice on the phone went straight to the point. “Hello, this is Walmart and your son has been arrested for shoplifting.” My whole world came to a standstill.  I thought that the person on the phone had to be joking.  He assured me that he wasn’t.

There a lot of things that I imagined my son might do someday but this was not definitely one of them.  As a mom I had worked diligently to point out to my children the importance of being honest.  There were so many times when I would get out to my car and realize that there was a sack of potatoes in the bottom of the cart that I had not paid for and I would drag all my children back into the store so that I could pay for it.  I thought for sure that doing this would guarantee that my children would do the same.  Unfortunately, that’s not the way it works. (And when I think about it I’m glad it doesn’t work that way because there have been plenty of times when I would not like them to emulate something I’ve done.)

The pain of this time in our family’s life was excruciating, the shame unbearable.  We felt so alone. What do you do with a son who is 17 and is arrested for shoplifting? I wanted to tell him he was grounded for the rest of his life!  Couldn’t he see how much pain and heartache he was causing us?  My mind told me that this was not my fault – I had shown him the truth growing up – but my heart was screaming just the opposite.   I thought I must be a terrible mom, completely inadequate for the job. Why did God give me these children?  It was such a lonely, isolating time.

We had no idea what to do, how to handle this situation.  We never thought we would be in this position.  The emptiness drove us to our knees.  We sought God’s wisdom and He gave us clear direction.

God was with us every step of that difficult journey.  We didn’t see it at the time, but when I took some time to look back and reflect on the path we had traveled and I was amazed at what I saw.

Our son had been making a series of bad choices that culminated in him getting arrested and as I looked back over each one of those decisions I saw God’s hand of discipline in his life.  Where we thought we were alone, God had been right there beside us adding his discipline to ours, partnering with us.

My son threw a party when we were out of town and that same week the transmission went out on his car. When we grounded him for two weeks because of a bad choice, he contracted Mono and was in bed for two solid weeks!  When he chose to drive recklessly, he was pulled over and given a ticket.  And when he shoplifted, that very same week he had his stereo stolen out of his car.

As I looked back over the ways God had brought discipline into my son’s life I was reminded of the verse in Proverbs 3:12 that says, “For the Lord corrects those He loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights.” When I pointed out this verse to my son, he said, “Would He just stop loving me so much?”

It’s funny how that is – we want God’s love when it’s comfortable and cozy and safe but when it causes us to grow and pushes us beyond our comfort zone then we’re not so thrilled with the idea.  But praise God He doesn’t always give us what we want!

God is with you when you’re dealing with angry and unlovely teenagers.  God is with you when the way seems unclear and your heart is heavy.  God is with you when the weight of the world seems like more than you can bear.  He is with you!

Father, You know what I am dealing with today.  Thank you for being with me through all of it.  Be near me today I pray.  Amen.

Question: How do you take comfort that God is with you through everything?

“It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in humans.” (Psalm 118:8)

I received an email from a friend, one of those “you have to read this” emails. They inundate my inbox, especially this time of year. This particular one was one I had heard before, but had shoved way back into the file cabinet of my brain. As I read it again it was a Godly whisper to me to remind me about the center of the Bible.

The center of the Bible is Psalm 118:8. There are 594 chapters before it, and 594 chapters after it (which equals 1188).  Psalm 118 is wedged between the shortest and the longest of the psalms. The message is simple and direct: “It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man.”

That’s a pretty cool verse. If we follow that verse right in the middle of the Bible, won’t the center of our lives change? It will be more level like a picture hanging on a hook. It will be right and even, not tilted to the side and wobbly.

Faith is trust without reservations. There are no what ifs, no maybes. Faith is pure trust in a loving God whose utmost desire is to restore His people to Him. That is the Bible in a nutshell. Our LORD is in the restoration business.  There is no broken life He cannot renew, no sin He cannot forgive, no hurt for which He cannot provide balm. He knows our lives can be knocked off center which I believe is why He gave us the center of the Bible as a reminder.

What is weighing on your soul, tilting your life to the side? Is it something you have done, or you should have done? If we need disciplining, we may have to endure some time out in the corner. But we can trust He will still be there watching over us. He has not left. He loves us enough to discipline us. He also loves us enough to forgive us. He loves us even now in the middle of our sin.

What if it is something not of your doing? The rumbles of life can tilt us off balance. When someone or something else slants our life out of whack, He is there to dust us off and set us back the right way. Use Psalm 118:8 like the bubble in a level, to make sure you are balanced in the truth, trusting He is there loving you – always, no matter what.

TRUST = Total Reliance Upon the Sovereign Trinity. May having this trust as the center of your life be an ongoing adjustment you make each day, and perhaps several times during your day, to keep it level.

Dear God, We sing about asking You to be the center, to be our hope, to be our guide and I ask for that for myself today.   Help me to weigh every choice against the truth of Your word. Help me to choose wisely and to come to You quickly when things go wrong.  Thank you for loving me enough to discipline me. Amen.

Question: How will you apply this verse to your life this week?

“If we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, His Son, purifies us from all sin… If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:7 and 9)

The young couple have a four-year-old daughter and Daddy was describing to friends how they help their little girl when she has disobeyed or fallen short of their expectations. Instead of going to the proverbial Timeout Chair, she sits in the Think-It-Over Chair. After the allotted time, mom or dad ask Susie if she understands what she did wrong and then assure her of their love. Off she goes to resume life, “walking in the light.”

What a beautiful example of what confession can mean for the Christian. Too often we quickly admit our sin but give little thought to what led up to our displeasing actions or attitude. When we acknowledge and accept God’s gracious forgiveness without such contemplation, it is easy to fall in to a repetitive pattern of confession/forgiveness/ confession/forgiveness without deep-seated and lasting change.

Perhaps we should appoint a place—either an actual physical location or a quiet spot in our minds, a Think It Over space—where we stop activity and think carefully about our actions. And then, of course, bask in God’s gracious forgiveness as we walk in the light.

“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me” Galatians 2:20

What does it mean to be crucified with Christ and live by faith?

It is all about surrender.

As believers, we desire to live for Jesus. Yet experience teaches that no matter how hard we try, we continually fall short of the life to which God calls us.

You see, living a life of faith is not dependent on how much we do but rather on how much we allow Christ to do in and through us. Therefore, the essential ingredient in a life lived for Jesus is surrender.

I think of surrender as a deliberate relinquishment of control to God. It is the laying down of my own agenda and choosing to let Him rule my life.

Problems arise when, forgetting my yielding of control over to God, I try to run my own life again.

Thus, I am convinced that surrendering to God needs to be a daily discipline.

Each morning, my day needs to be given to Almighty God.

Moment by moment, my thoughts and emotions need to be submitted to the Holy One.

Every evening, the cares and worries of the day need to be relinquished to the Maker of the universe.

Then, day by day, little by little, I will begin to truly understand what it means to surrender to God.

Question: What does it mean to “surrender to God”?

“And the Holy Spirit descended on him in bodily form, like a dove; and a voice came from heaven, ‘You are my beloved Son; with you I am well pleased.’”  Luke 3:22

Today, would God say He is pleased with you? Would you say He is pleased with you? He wants to say that- and He is, if you have accepted Christ into your heart, life and soul. But there is more to that formula, isn’t there?

God said this at Jesus’ baptism, which at the time was only a cleansing act. Anytime a Jew felt they had sinned and were unclean, they went to be washed by baptism.  Today we must undergo mini baptisms and call upon the blood of Christ to wash us white as snow. How? Confession.

I recall a time that I had done something I should not have done. For the life of me I can’t remember what that deed was, but to this day I remember how horrible I felt. If I told my mother, I knew I’d be disciplined. I didn’t want that. I was afraid she’d find out because moms always do, so I pulled away from her and avoided her the rest of the day.  I barely spoke to her the next day.

Each hour the fear and anguish grew. She paid attention to my siblings but I’d walk away. I actually became jealous that they were in good with her when I was not. I began to think she didn’t love me as much as she loved them. I became the victim instead of the offender. I stewed and stewed until it all burst out in tears. Once I’d confessed, my relationship with my mother was restored. Only then did I learn how much I had hurt her, and myself.

Where are you with God? Are you afraid to go to Him and confess your sins in fear He might discipline you?  Do you pull away because you know He knows? Are you stewing in jealousy of others’ closer relationship with Him?  Do you cry out “Please God love me” forgetting it is you who pulled away?

Ever hear of getting back in good graces with someone? It means to restore your relationship with them so they will think of you in a favorable way – they are pleased to be in your company. Each night, before we close our eyes, we should wipe the slate clean with our Lord. It is a good time to touch base with Him, receive His forgiveness, discipline and loving embrace.

To get back in good graces with God, i.e. receive God’s mercy and grace, we must be the ones willing to come forward and be cleansed. Once we do, He will say to us as He said to Jesus, “You are my child. I am pleased with you.” His Spirit will once again rule in us and we will be thankful.

Question: Do you feel the need to earn God’s love?

“Think about it: Just as a parent disciplines a child, the Lord your God disciplines you for your own good” Deuteronomy 8:5, NLT

I can remember being deployed in military service and having marriages issues. Many nights I cried and said why Lord, why did you separate me and my wife? Finally after wrestling with the Lord, I submitted and understood what he was doing.

I was leading my marriage down the wrong path. I had allowed sin to warp my thinking and cause issues in my marriage. I thought I could handle it on my own, but God had a better plan. He brought me on the deployment to take me into the wilderness and discipline me and fix the issues in my life, HIS way. I learned so much being out there and it was only when he separated me from all the sin I was involved in that he was able to do his work.

As a matter of fact, I am writing this very devotional from the wilderness here in Kuwait. I have been used mightily in helping, praying, and ministering to other people. He used me in ways I never ever would have imagined.

So know this, if you are in situation and you really wonder why, seek the Lord and ask him. I guarantee he has a plan for your situation or a plan to get you out of the sin and put you in a better place! Yes of course discipline hurts sometimes, but in the end, we learn to not make those same mistakes again. Isn’t that the whole glorious point? Praise God, we have a Lord that loves enough to show us our mistakes and put us on the right path!

“ ‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the LORD. ‘They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.’ ” Jeremiah 29:11

Learn how to learn from your mistakes. Try our life lesson “Built by Brokenness”

“Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, you will find rest for your souls” (Jeremiah 6:16).

“Elizabeth, you disobeyed me by riding your Hot Wheels in the middle of the street. I’m going to spank you.”

Fists tightly held together as if to lessen the pain I waited as the first smack hit my bottom. Ouch! Only three more—or at least I hope so. Feeling every burn I finally hear the words I longed to hear, “Okay Elizabeth. Sit up and let’s talk.”  I knew what was going to be said next. Geez, I’d been spanked many times before. I think I could spare him the details, but better not.

“This hurt me more than it hurt you out of His love for us. Do you understand?”

Mustering the courage to speak I said, “Yes sir.”

“I’m glad, Elizabeth.” Whew! Forty five painstaking minutes later my punishment was complete.

As an adult, I still am just as wayward as I was on my Big Wheels. I like to be in control and not worry with the world around me. And every time, God ends up pulling me aside and realigning my heart with His own loving discipline.

I’m confident that you are much like me—struggling to let go of the wheel. When I think of my Big Wheels story, I can’t help but believe it parallels to my Christian walk. Too often, I don’t think about what I’m doing or where I’m going while driving when just like my Dad, God is saying, “Stop. Let go of the wheel. You are not safe. Get out of the road. Let me help you.”

Discipline isn’t pretty—as a child or as an adult. Since it’s not fun, I definitely want to avoid it. How? And there it was—a nugget from God’s word that would help me stay the course in His safety. Let me share it with you, “Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, you will find rest for your souls.” Wow. The word my heart craved I had now found—rest.

Want to avoid driving in unsafe territory? Stand, look, ask, and walk.

• Stand—position yourself to have feet that respond to what you believe God is calling you to do. “Stand firm then, with the breastplate of righteousness in place” (Galatians 6:14)

• Look—expect to see God in a way that empowers your spirit to follow Him. “Ears to hear and eyes to see both are gifts from the Lord” (Proverbs 20:12).

• Ask—ask God to invade your situation. “The prayer of the righteous person is powerful and effective” (James 5:16).

• Walk—move in concert with your faith and act. “By faith Abraham …obeyed and went” (Hebrews 11:8)

I’d take four steps of faith over a spanking any day—and with that, I think I will stop and get moving.

Questions: What are some ways that will help you to stay on course in God’s safety? What are some things to avoid in order to not have God discipline us?

One of the most difficult parts of marriage is agreeing how to discipline.

One of our daughters, who had been very compliant, hit puberty, and things started to really bother her. She’d even snarl at her sister sometimes, and become quite bossy and miserable. My husband handled it by becoming very firm. He didn’t want to put up with any of that and reinforce it, so it was better to nip it in the bud, he thought.

While on the whole I agreed with it, I also saw that sometimes when said daughter became upset she had legitimate reasons. But instead of trying to see those reasons, my husband reacted to everything the same way: punish her for sulking. For several months they were at loggerheads.

From my perspective, I was stuck in the middle. I saw when my husband was right and she was being unreasonable. But other times she was just upset and needed help working through something. But they both started digging in their heels, refusing to really communicate well with each other.

Finally I went out for a walk with my husband and just shared my heart. I didn’t blame him. I didn’t say “you are treating her all wrong.” I said, “I am scared that you aren’t connecting with her anymore.” (and they used to be closer than I was with her). “Why do you think that is?” We talked for a while, and then, when the opportunity was there, I told him that I thought that at times he was overreacting, and gave a recent example. He got defensive at first, but I asked him just to listen to me for a few minutes and agree to try to do things differently. And he did, and today they have a great relationship.

I should note, by the way, that there are other times when he has had to do the same with me. I remember about five years ago he had to sit me down and talk to me about how I wasn’t being firm enough with our other daughter. I disagreed. I thought he was too mean. But in retrospect, he was right, and after a while I took his advice to heart and did something about it.

The main lesson: as far as it depends upon you, do not get in the middle with a child and your spouse. Here’s some key pointers:

1. Present a united front with your children. If you feel that your spouse is disciplining (or failing to discipline) appropriately, do not take this up with the children. Take it up with your spouse afterwards, when the children are out of earshot. It is so important for kids to see their parents in agreement with one another, so that they know they cannot play you both against each other.

2. Never use your child as a sounding board for your disappointment in your spouse. If you think your spouse was too harsh, and you’re mad at him for it, don’t tell your child that you get frustrated when Daddy gets angry. Don’t tell your child that you don’t like it when Daddy is sulky, too. It sets up a weird relationship where you have an emotional bond with your child where Daddy is excluded, and it’s not healthy. If you’re upset with your spouse, take it to God. Take it to a close friend or mentor. But do not take it to your child.

3. Talk to your spouse frequently about how you should discipline. Discipline changes every 6 months or so as children age. What worked before may not work now, nor is it necessarily appropriate. Have conversations when there are no major crises about what behaviour you should expect, and what appropriate consequences should be.

4. If you don’t agree with how your spouse is disciplining, talk to him at a time when there is no crisis. Go for a walk. Go on a date night. Have breakfast on Saturday. Share some time when you also show him that you love him, so that you can really talk.

5. If you still don’t agree, and it’s a big issue, talk about having a third party, preferably a mentor couple who has children older than yours, in to talk about discipline. Usually outside people can see problems, even when we think they can’t, and chances are couples would love to help you with this! Find a couple whose children you admire, and ask them to come and talk to you. But don’t ambush your hubby with this! Talk to him and find a couple that you both agree on.

If you aren’t on the same page when it comes to discipline, ask yourself this: am I going to my children for emotional support? Am I undermining my husband in front of them (even if he is wrong?). If the answers to this are yes, you have some major changes to make. A family can’t function well if you are not a unit. Work at being a unit first, and then deal with the problem. Don’t think that his disciplining mistakes justify you undermining the relationship.

This blog was originally posted on tolovehonorandvacuum.blogspot.com . Used with permission.

Do you and your spouse need to work as a team? Read this article and find out how

Please open your Bible and read Psalm 139:1-10.

In the light of God’s omniscience and omnipresence, it is easy to wonder why Christians still attempt to run from Him. Jonah certainly demonstrated that it could not be done, and yet people insist on trying. Why?

Sometimes they act out of pure selfishness. It seems that we have an unlimited capacity to believe we know what is best for us, no matter what God thinks or says. Sometimes we balk out of simple fear: we are afraid that we might not succeed; we are concerned that others will be critical of our efforts; or perhaps we fear obedience might be too costly. What we often fail to recognize is the high price of turning aside and fleeing from the Lord.

Jonah paid dearly for his rebellion. Not only did he suffer embarrassment, terror, and guilt, but he also jeopardized the lives of innocent men. You cannot run from the Lord without inflicting heavy punishment on innocent people. How many fathers and mothers walk away from their children and say, “I can do what I want. It’s my own life.” No, it is not. You cannot leave little children fatherless or motherless without reaping lifelong pain and suffering. Nor can you sin against the Lord without paying a terrible price yourself and hurting others in the process.

In spite of this awful reality, it is also true that God is forgiving – He offers a second or third or fortieth or millionth chance. (Jonah 3:1) He kept after Jonah as long as it was necessary, and He will be faithful to you as well.

Questions: Have you ever “run from God”? What did you learn from that experience?

About the Author: Charles Stanley