How are the two of you doing?

The first thing you need to know is this: a baby won’t fix your marriage struggles. If you feel this is a good way to help your relationship then you are totally wrong. A baby complicates issues. You don’t have to have a perfect marriage, just don’t decide to have a baby as a cure.

Are you physically ready?

Schedule a checkup with your doctor for each of you and tell him/her what you are planning. You can get great advice on vitamins, supplements and discover any problems that need to be dealt with.  Just a heads up, especially for the guys: your sex life will change when baby arrives. You need to be prepared to take a back seat with your needs. Each woman is different but be ready for change.

Are you financially ready?

See a Financial Planner. You don’t need money to talk with a planner and most are free. Tell them your plans and ask for their advice. Ask about Disability Insurance and Life Insurance. Get a second opinion if you want. Start putting aside money right now for the baby’s needs. Talk with friends discretely about what you will need to purchase just to start out. Also make sure you have a current will. Check to see what policies your employer has for Leave of Absence, child care and any other benefits they may offer.

Take a Trip!

It’s great to celebrate your decision as a couple by taking a trip. Make sure you aren’t spending all your “baby” money but have fun!  This could be your last, “just the two of us” trip for some time, so make the most of it.

Waiting for the perfect situation?

Circumstances are never perfect.  For some couples waiting until they can “afford” a baby will launch them well past the age of fertility.  So keep this list in mind but don’t wait for life to be perfect, jump in!  Keep in mind that you afford what is important, both in time and in finances. Your children will be important.  You won’t have all the answers and life won’t be perfect, but you can do it!

So now that you have taken care of those details, end the birth control, learn your cycle and let the “trying” begin!

Take the next step:

Making the transition to motherhood
Choosing a name for baby
Video: And baby makes three
Tips for new Moms 

This is the time of year when many people look at their debt situation and shudder.

They’ll begin with high hopes. But many of them will quit before reaching their goal, disappointed, discouraged and defeated. Is there something that they could have done differently that would have given them a better chance at success? I think so.

You can find all kinds of advice about how to get out of debt. The web is full of the stuff. But, when you boil it all down, there are three things that form a foundation for a get out of debt effort.

1. Don’t expect immediate results. You won’t be getting out of debt in a matter of days or weeks. The only way to eliminate your debts quickly is to inherit a large sum of money, win the lottery or declare bankruptcy. The first two are unlikely. The third may remove debts quickly, but you’ll suffer with a lower credit score for years to come.

Recognize that it will probably take about as long to get out of debt as it took you to get into it. You can speed up the process but you won’t eliminate debt that took 10 years to accumulate in 10 months. You can shorten the time by being aggressive in your payback plan, but it still will be a long process.

What’s the take-away? You need to be prepared for a marathon race. This is not a sprint. If you’re prepared for the long haul you won’t be disappointed and discouraged when a year passes and you haven’t eliminated all your debts. You’ll expect a long battle and be ready to fight it.

2. You need a good plan. A good plan will stand the test of time. The longer you work with a good plan, the more you appreciate its usefulness. There are a number of good plans readily available. You may find that one is particularly well suited to your situation.

Any good plan will have a number of characteristics:

1. It will include all your debts. That’s important to help you see the whole picture.
2. It will help you evaluate exactly how bad your debt situation is. Not only will you know how much you owe, but you’ll know how much it’s costing you in interest each month/year.
3. It will include a priority of which debts to pay off first – smallest to biggest? Highest to lowest interest rate?
4. It will allow you to know how much money you’ll have each month to repay debts.
5. It will free you from having decisions to make each month. You know how much money you’ll have and which debt is being reduced first. The decision is already made. It’s just a matter of executing your plan.
6. It will allow you to calculate an approximate date that you’ll be debt free.
7. It will help you monitor your progress. You should be able to predict where you’ll be 6 months from now. And, then compare your actual results to that prediction.
8. It will take your personality into account. Some people need the motivation of seeing many small accounts being repaid quickly.
9. Others are happier watching the average interest rate their paying decrease each month. A good plan will be tailored to your personality.

A good plan will do all those things. Some offer other bells and whistles. But any good plan should do all of the above things. If your plan doesn’t do them, keep looking for one that does. This job is hard enough with a good plan. Don’t weigh yourself down with a bad one.

3.  Find a way to keep yourself motivated throughout the process. Once again, you’ll need to know what would encourage you when you’re thinking of quitting. For some people, rewards along the way work well. Perhaps a nice dinner or that coffee maker you’ve wanted would be a good reward when your car loan is repaid. Knowing that a reward is within reach could be enough to keep you going.

For others one big reward at the end is the best motivation. I know of people who’ve wanted to go on a cruise for years. They’ve added the cost of the cruise to their debts. And when it’s all paid off they’ll be packing their bags. To remind them now, they’ve posted pictures of cruise ships around the house as a continual reminder.

Getting out of debt is a tough challenge, but it’s a worthwhile one. And it’s one that you can accomplish with the right tools and sufficient determination!

Take the next step:
Managing debt starts with a plan
Digging out of debt 
Take a lesson: How to beat stress

Take the next step:
How to help the homeless
10 Ways to help your community
Take a lesson: Cultivate generosity

Take the next step:
You can know God personally
Why did Jesus suffer?
Are you lonely?

Have you ever had an experience that separated you from the people around you? For some of us it was a divorce, for others, a failure. Sometimes it’s our finances that makes us different, or our health (or the lack of it). If you’ve ever felt like you were on the outside looking in, there is hope for you. Watch the video.

Take the next step:
Are you lonely? Life is very lonely when you don’t feel like you belong
Craving intimacy? You are not alone.
If you feel lonely, come talk to a mentor

The carols try to tell us that this is a calm and silent time of year. But for most of us, the weeks leading up to Christmas can be anything but calm. You know the drill: office parties, shopping, baking, wrapping, relatives, Christmas plays and everyone’s favorite - family pictures. It’s enough to leave even the strongest among us exhausted. Can we slow things down a little so we can enjoy the season again? Does anyone have time for that?

Whatever your plans for the season, don’t let them overtake your holiday. Remember Dr. Seuss’s classic tale How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Christmas will come without all the wrappings and bows, it will still come if the turkey isn’t perfect, if your tree is a little lop-sided or the dog decides to help you ‘redecorate’.

There are ways to put a little relaxation back into your Christmas season without adding too much to your busy schedule. As we get closer and closer to the 25th, try a couple of these simple ideas and remember what enjoying the holiday feels like.

1. Host a coloring party. Coloring parties are a tradition I learned from my Mom’s friend Gail. Every Christmas the local hospital sells large (3′ x 2′) coloring books as a fund raiser and Gail uses these as the center of her get together. Friends are invited to bring a little of their Christmas baking and come over for a morning of coffee and coloring. Upon arriving, everyone gathers around the coloring books on the kitchen table and dives into brand new packs of crayons with the glee of five-year-olds. The conversation flows. It is a relaxed, non threatening time, a great way to catch up with old friends, an easy way to get to know new neighbors.
2. Choose one or two people from your list and make their present. Making gifts gives you a great excuse to go off somewhere by yourself for a few hours. Put on your favorite music, light a pine scented candle and enjoy the quiet as you work. The possibilities for hand-made gifts are endless.
3. Attend a local highschool or college concert. Most school bands and choirs put on Christmas concerts and the entrance fee is almost always minimal. Grab a friend or the whole family and support local musicians while relaxing and getting into the Christmas spirit.
4. Read your favorite children’s Christmas story. Find a quiet corner, a cup of cocoa, and favorite blanket and curl up a read the story you most loved as a child. How the Grinch Stole Christmas and The Night Before Christmas are classics, or better yet, read the original Christmas story in the Bible in the book of Luke (Luke 2:1-20).
5. Reflect on the season. Christmas is many things to many people, but at the heart of all the celebrating and festivities is a baby born in a manger. In Bethlehem, two thousand years ago God sent his son into the world. The Bible tells us that Jesus was not sent into the world to condemn it, but to save it. Many churches put on special Christmas pageants that portray the story of Jesus, who he is and what he came to earth to do. Why not take in a performance over the next few weeks and rediscover the true reason for the season?

“Peace on Earth” is a phrase you see everywhere this time of year. For many of us, we have to wonder where that peace is? Who is at peace? What about countries that are at war? Is “Peace on Earth” even possible in this day and age? Peace on Earth is possible, and it can start with you. You can find peace through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

You can receive Christ right now by faith through prayer. Praying is simply talking to God. God knows your heart and is not so concerned with your words as He is with the attitude of your heart. Here’s a suggested prayer:

Lord Jesus, I want to know you personally. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life to you and ask you to come in as my Saviour and Lord. Take control of my life. Thank you for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Make me the kind of woman you want me to be.

If this prayer expresses the desire of your heart, pray it right now and Christ will come into your life as He promised. If you invited Jesus Christ into your life, thank God often that He is in your life, that He will never leave you and that you have eternal life. As you learn more about your relationship with God, and how much He loves you, you’ll experience life to the fullest.

Christmas is a time to remember the gift of love that was given to us. May your days be merry and bright and may the love that sparked the season find you in the days and weeks to come.

Are you feeling ready to walk away from a relationship – are you possibly even considering divorce? We want to pray for you.

“I needed to hear that”, Kelly said with a catch in her voice. The layoff notice had come as a complete surprise. Anger and panic had welled up within her.
Sue had listened to her vent. Then she had spoken quietly and gently reminded Kelly that God knew of this turn of events. He would direct her through the unknown path. He could be counted on to guide her. He would give her wisdom. Kelly’s heart was comforted and strengthened. She was encouraged to go on and her heart softened at the reminder of God’s care.

God’s Word alerts us that in difficult times our hearts can go astray. They can become hardened and turn away from God.

We all know that wondering of “Where is God?” when something significant does not go as we had hoped or planned and life seems to tumble around us.

We live in a world that acknowledges God less and less. Often the choices of others affect us in hard ways. Politics at work, relationships with those we care about, finances, even health issues. We can feel alone and our faith can feel slippery as we walk.

When clouds gather in our lives we can begin to allow unbelief into our hearts. It’s very subtle and slips in. We pray less and our Bible sits unopened more. When we don’t understand God, unbelief creeps in. It can harden our hearts to the point where we tune out God even when He speaks to us. We can find rebellion creeping up on us if we are not monitoring our hearts. Listen to God’s words to us…

“See to it brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness” (Hebrews 3:13).

God knows the tendency of our hearts toward unbelief. That’s why He counsels us in these matters. We need to be aware of keeping our hearts soft. God’s call to “Encourage one another daily…” helps build a reservoir within our own hearts … it helps keep our hearts soft.

It is easy to be deceived into thinking God doesn’t have our best interest at heart, especially when things don’t go well. We need to guard our hearts against unbelief and rebellion and know that, in those tough places, He is there to guide us through and teach us.

When you feel unbelief slipping into your soul and find rebellion nibbling around the edges of your heart, seek out spiritual encouragement. Walk and talk with a friend and be honest in sharing your need of prayer. Do a Bible study on a topic that grabs at your heart. Choose to spend some time with God and cry out to him from the depths of your soul telling Him all the things in your heart. Choose to turn toward Him. God will encourage you even when people aren’t there to. Choose to draw near to Him and ask Him to help your unbelief.

When we receive encouragement in our soul from God, we are then in a position to give encouragement. You cannot offer something you don’t possess.

Then, when you hear despair in the lives of those around you or in the emails of those writing to you, you will be equipped to encourage them with words from Scripture, or a gentle reminder of God’s everlasting love even when the road ahead is obscured.

It’s an amazing circle. Daily speaking of God’s care will not only encourage others and bring comfort, strength and hope…it will also encourage you and help keep your own heart soft and your faith strong.

It’s an amazing circle…”He who refreshes others will himself be refreshed” ( Proverbs 11:25).

Pay attention to God’s warning against unbelief. Our faith in Jesus is our most valued treasure. If you loose it there is nothing of true value left. Guard against an unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. Turn to Him and ask Him to speak to you. Watch for those whose hearts are turning away and ask God to give you encouragement to share. It will build you up as you do.

Father God, I know the tendency of my own heart to grow hard around the edges with unbelief and even rebellion at times. I choose to draw near to You and ask that You would encourage my heart and help my unbelief. I need You to refresh my inner being and give me strength.

Encourage me through Your Word. Give me a greater desire to read it and to pour my heart out to you. Give me people in my life who will share with me the encouragement they receive from You. Help me to encourage others whose hearts are growing hard in difficult times. Daily be my source in everything I pray, in the name of Jesus, amen.

Questions: How does unbelief and rebellion start to take root in ones life?  How can you be ever ready to help those that are in despair around you?