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During the latter years of her life, my sweet mother-in-law experienced the condition common to many older people: loss of her short-term memory.  While it was sad for us to see her diminished capacity, there was a positive aspect to this condition.  She could no longer remember things that she formerly worried about!

Her sleep was relatively unbroken as the circumstances of the day just past, the often complex lives of her children and grandchildren, and world events no longer occupied her mind to the extent that she lay awake.

The Bible is filled with instructions about worry and anxiety: Do not worry about your life…do not be anxious about anything. Our heads tell us not to give in to the temptation to worry.   We know that worry accomplishes nothing; even that anxiety has detrimental effects on our physical, mental and emotional health. We may even know that our inclination to worry is simply evidence that we think we have control over life.

While we want to grow in obedience to God’s commands—which we know are for our ultimate well-being—I love the words used by Eugene Peterson in the paraphrase above.  “Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace… Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” What a delightful description of a life increasingly without worry!

Acknowledging Jesus at our side as we face all those “worrisome” situations of life, and then imagining how He would live in those circumstances will take us a long way to living “freely and lightly.” And sleeping well, too.

Questions: Why is it that we tend to worry about situations instead of trusting God for guidance? How can we live worry free?

TAKE THE NEXT STEP: Praying through worry

About the Author Marilyn J. Ehle

Al and Tipper Gore are calling it quits after forty years, and journalists and pundits have taken the opportunity to all write fluff pieces about divorce.

In one New York Times article, Deirdre Baer, an “expert” in late life divorces, says:

Divorce is easier now. Our retirement years are longer and healthier. Both men and women often have enough money to make changes. And the stigma of divorce has long since faded. A century ago, Elizabeth Cady Stanton called it a “social earthquake.” But several decades later, Margaret Mead thought every woman needed three husbands: one for youthful sex, one for security while raising children and one for joyful companionship in old age. In the 21st century, Margaret Drabble, the British novelist, calls life after divorce “the third age.” The heroine of her novel “The Seven Sisters” says, “Our dependents have died or matured. For good and ill, we are free.”

So let us not feel shocked or sad about the end of Al and Tipper Gore’s marriage. Let us instead wish them well, and hope that they might enjoy their third age, individually and in peace.

You can read the rest here.

Divorce: A victimless crime?

Forget for a minute about whether or not what she’s saying is true–that people can benefit from late life divorce. What shocks me when I read this is that people think that divorce is a “victimless crime”, so to speak. You do it because you need to. You have no choice. You need your freedom, or your happiness, or your control. And somehow we should all applaud you for your self-actualization.

What about the spouse who is left reeling? What about the fact that you broke a sacred promise? Does that not matter?

Or let’s assume that a divorce is mutually agreed upon. Even so, does that make it all right? What about the children and the grandchildren of this couple? Do they not have a stake in that marriage? Any divorce is devastating, and it’s especially hard for the offspring, even if they’re adults.  Yet somehow we’re all expected just to be happy for the couple who’s splitting, because at least they’re doing “what’s best for them”. I’ve never heard of anything so selfish.

But let’s assume that this couple doesn’t have any kids. They’re in their sixties, they both want to leave, and there’s no children to feel badly for. Is it okay then?

I would still say that this divorce is something to mourn, because society itself has a stake in the marriage. The institution of marriage teaches selflessness. It teaches compromise, and commitment, and it forces people to step outside of their own personal wants and consider others. It makes us better people, and society benefits when people learn to think of others.

The benefits of marriage

It also keeps people from fooling around. When sex is by and large confined to marriage relationships, then these people aren’t having one night stands, spreading disease, breaking hearts, having affairs with married people, or using others. I have known couples who have divorced where one has headed to the bar almost immediately, and over the next few months has slept with a string of new partners. That’s not good for anybody, and it’s in society’s best interests to steer us towards one partner for life. Everything is more stable, there’s less heartache, and less dysfunction at home.

Marriage teaches the value of working hard for something and sticking it out. If we bail when things get tough, then what does society learn? There is no benefit to working at something that is difficult. We should always do what is best for us.

Imagine a society where everybody operates that way. Imagine what the world would be like when people did not take commitments or responsibilities seriously. Imagine what the work world would be like, or the church, or families. Marriage calms society down and steers people towards responsibility. Each divorce, on the other hand, is the death of a small civilization. Many divorces lead to the ultimate death of a large civilization.

When people divorce, I mourn. All of us have lost something. Sometimes divorce is the best thing in different circumstances, but it should never be something to applaud. We should always feel remorse for what could have been, should have been. If we fail to feel that remorse, then we’ve given up on the cornerstones of what makes society function.

For decades our society has been sputtering along on fumes–we have no gas in the car anymore to make us be good parents, be responsible spouses, honor our commitments, pursue right rather than fun. We have lost the worldview–Christianity–that used to keep us rooted. But we have enough of the cultural leftovers of that Christianity that at least we tend to agree on certain things: people shouldn’t sleep around on their spouses; kids do best with two parents; people should honor their commitments.

It won’t be long before those fumes die off, and our society gives up those values that it once had simply because of Christianity. And articles like this one, applauding late life divorces as if no one else is affected, are hurrying up that trend.

I hope you will stand with me, and the next time you hear that someone is splitting up, you will express your regret. Let us never take joy in the end of something which is so important. Let us instead pursue what is good in the world–and that includes protecting and strengthening the institution of marriage, starting with our own.

This blog was originally posted on tolovehonorandvacuum.blogspot.com . Used with permission.

We are living in challenging times, shaken by the unrest in the world around us.

The GRAND magazine statistics show there are over 70 million grandparents in the United States. Not all the grandparents are Christians. However, can you imagine the influence godly grandparents could have? Our grandchildren need godly grandparents to stand in the gap by praying deliberately and modeling godly lives.

When you get discouraged after listening to the daily events on the newscast, have you thought about you respond? Do you get discouraged, complain, or worry how it might affect your family? We read in Psalm 25:4-6, “One generation will commend your works to another, they will tell of your mighty acts. They will speak of the glorious splendor of your majesty . . .They will tell of the power of your awesome works and I will proclaim your great deeds.”

Grandparents are to be influencers

We influence our grandchildren whether purposely or unknowingly. God’s Word tells us we are to influence others toward God and His purposes, especially our own children and grandchildren. We have a wonderful opportunity to share how God has brought us though the challenges and difficulties in our lives when we trusted Him. Even though our journey in life may be difficult at times, God will walk with us.

What are some ways grandparents can spiritually influence their grandchildren? In the Psalms, we read that we are to tell them about the power of God’s mighty works in our lives. God has given us two resources that we can use in order to maximize our influence for His glory.

Here are the two resources:

1. Prayer - God has given us the avenue of prayer as the best weapon against the evil in our world today. Nothing threatens the enemy more than grandparents praying intentionally and regularly for their grandchildren. When we pray according to God’s Word, we are in line with His will; it enables us to pray with direction, power, and wisdom. As we start claiming God’s promises and personalizing the scriptures, we will experience more confidence and boldness in our praying.

It is God who works in the lives of our grandchildren; however, we have the opportunity to intercede in their behalf for them to allow the Holy Spirit to speak to their hearts. Our prayers can open the door for God to work in their hearts but they still have to choose to cooperate with Him.

I want to share part of a letter from my oldest granddaughter which is a confirmation that praying for these precious grandchildren is never a wasted effort. She wrote:

Your phone calls, cards, and emails were encouraging and made a significant impact on my life, especially in my teenage and college years. Your prayers and encouragement have been rock-solid reminders of God’s truth in my incredible, crazy life-shaping years, and now in my married life. Your prayers help me surrender the craziness of my life to God.

2. Example – Another powerful tool that God has given us to influence our grandchildren is the example of our own lives. However, He has given us His example of how to live a godly life in His Word. As grandparents, we can be a great influence in how we live our lives. On the way to a restaurant the other day, another granddaughter said, “Tell them I am only eleven years old even though I am twelve years old now, then I can eat for the children’s price”. It was a good time to be a good example and not lie about her age. “In everything set them an example by doing what is good.” Titus 2:7

Is your attitude toward the moral and spiritual depravity of our nation one of acceptance, indicating there is nothing we can do about it? It is just the sign of the times. However, on the other hand, is your attitude one of concern, praying, and trusting the Lord to walk with us during these difficult times? Are you praying that truth will stand and the deceit exposed?

The power of God is the only thing big enough in the world to help us rise above the economic, hostile conditions of our world and the difficult things we face in life. Paul writes in Ephesians 6:10, 11, “Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.” When we invest in our spiritual lives by being in the Word and growing strong in our walk with the Lord, we will have a positive, spiritual influence on our grandchildren.

Are the grandchildren God has placed in your life a priority in you prayers? Do your family members see authenticity in your life and your relationship with God? Will your grandchildren say, “Grandpa and grandma really do believe who God is and that He can do what He says He will do. I want to follow their example in my life.”

Here’s a prayer you can pray for your grandchildren: “Dear Lord, thank you for my grandchildren. Help me to value them in the same way you value them. Help me to be a loving grandparent who seeks to understand my grandchildren. Work through me so they will see Jesus in me. In Jesus name.

“In the morning, I lay requests before You and wait in expectation” (Psalm 5:3).

One version of the Bible translates the phrase, “wait in expectation” as “to eagerly watch” or “I watch and wait.” That verse took on a new meaning for me when Tabitha, one of our granddaughters, was at our house for a sleep over. I used to have our grandchildren stay overnight when my husband Marvin was traveling, but this time she insisted that she come when Grampa was home so he could take her fishing.

Tabitha was so excited that they were going fishing the next day. As I tucked her into bed we talked about her day and discussed what we should pray about. We decided to pray for a sunny day so they wouldn’t have to fish in the rain.

The next morning, as soon as Tabitha awoke, she ran to the front door and opened it wide to see if God had answered our prayer. She was eager and she was expectantly watching. She was waiting to see what God had done.

I asked myself, “Katherine, when was the last time you were that anxious to see how God was going to answer your prayer?”

Children have great faith. I guess that is why Jesus said:

“I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 18:3).

Lord, You expect us to teach our children and grandchildren, and yet often their childlike faith puts us to shame. Enable us to have the faith of little children. Amen.

Questions: Do you believe that God will answer your prayers? Do you have the faith of a little child?

About the author Katherine Kehler

Parenting AGAIN at 50+
Retirement dreams turn topsy-turvey as more and more grandparents step in to raise their kids’ kids. Hermann Volchert, 63, is little Chantal’s grandfather. As are many grandparents across Canada, he and his wife, Sheila, 57, are the sole caregivers for their grandchildren, six-year-old Chantal and five-year-old Brittany. It’s a choice forced on increasing numbers of people. And who is there to help and support these second-time parents? Read the full article.

Take action: What does it mean to be beautiful? Our new online interactive study Understanding Beauty seeks to help you explore this question from a biblical perspective.

You said it: This week Chipal shared on the Worship on the Go women’s devotional, saying “Great article. Its a good prescription for a busy world like ours. I think that this could also be useful for a marriage setup, i mean creating that conciousness in you would work better that making time even though i still believe we have to make the time.” Join the conversation on TheLife.com Devotional for Men and TheLife.com Devotional for Women, each updated daily!

Experience TheLife Blog: Why do we go to church?
Why do we go to church? Can we agree that the primary reason we should attend church is to worship God? Discuss on the Experience Blog! Read more

Video: Dealing with the Unexpected
What do you do when your prayers are not answered the way you thought they would be? For Patrick and Linda, a day to day process of acceptance turned into a realization that God’s blessings come in different forms. Watch the video

Coming up next week: One of the topics of our upcoming online chats is “How Can We Know a God Who is Everywhere?” Join us in the chat room July 26th 2009 @ 9:00pm EST for this chat or see also our full chat calendar for other upcoming topics.

“Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4 NIV).

What is your greatest delight? What gives you great pleasure or satisfaction?

I am delighted when my grandchildren run up to me with a hug, or a friend calls me on the phone just to chat, or my husband brings me flowers.

To delight is to enjoy, take pleasure, be glad, satisfied, savor, or appreciate.

When we delight in the Lord, his desires will become our desires.

How do we delight in the Lord?

We will delight in the Lord when we develop an intimate relationship with him. We will become spiritually hungry, and passionately in love with Him. Jesus told his disciples in John 14: 15 “If you love me, you will obey what I command.” Then, our desires will align with His desires and our hearts will desire to please him, resulting in peace and contentment.

However, our hearts desire is often contrary to what God desires for us and takes us in the wrong direction. When we don’t have an intimate relationship with the Lord, our human nature desires sinful things, as when we are angry, and we want to seek revenge. If we don’t delight in the Lord we won’t know what He desires for us. If we don’t have an intimate relationship with God it is hard telling what we would ask for. We may be asking for trouble missing God’s best for us.

Don’t be afraid to ask the Lord for His desires since His desires will be better than your own and you will find peace and contentment as you submit to them.

The Lord has not promised to give us all we humanly desire, but the desires of a heart submitted, and delighted in Him.

We must choose to delight and submit to the authority God has placed in our lives. If we don’t submit to those in authority over us, we will find it difficult to submit to God.

Priscilla Shirer writes in her Bible study He Speaks to Me, “Delighting ourselves in God rolls out the red carpet for God to march right in and plant His good, acceptable, and perfect desires in our hearts so that we can get busy praying them and getting some answers.” 1.

Psalm 37:4 tells us when we delight in the Lord He will grant us the desires of our heart. Our desires will be His desires and we will experience more answers to our prayers and contentment. We are not invited, we are commanded to delight.

Lord God, May my heart find delight in You. May Your desires be my own. Amen.

Father, I choose to delight in you. Show me the areas of my life I need to submit to you. I want to spend more time in your Word and grow into an intimate relationship with You so your desires will be my desires. In Jesus’ Name.

Questions: Do I delight in the Lord? Am I willing to up my desires for the Lord’s desires for my life? Which areas of my life do I need to submit to develop an intimate relationship with the Lord?

1. Priscilla Shirer, He Speaks to Me, (Nashville, TN; LifeWay Press) p. 114.

About the Author Lillian Penner

Daily audio podcast: A second daily devotional, Believe in Him, today on the Men’s Devotional Blog

This spring our grandson was visiting on a nice sunny day, so the two of us went to the back yard to do some clean up. The task would have gone faster without the help of a two year old but for the delight of being together I invited him to join me.

I learned two lessons from a two year old child’s perspective that day. In the middle of the afternoon it started to snow, one of those spring squalls that produce large flakes of snow. Domonic turned to me with a big smile and said, “Me chase snow!” He proceeded to run, turning in circles, laughing all the time while attempting to catch the snow flakes. His joy was infectious! The lesson I learned in watching him was that we need to enjoy the moments that God gives.

The second lesson Domonic taught me had to do with his wanting to help me. In the clean up process we filled several baskets with debris. I started to carry the first one away when Domonic said, “Me help.” I really did not need his help but I let him take hold of the basket.  He didn’t really have the strength to help, but I let him do it even though I had to slow down.  It gave him great pleasure to help his Papa!

I began to think about how God views us. I do not claim to be a theologian, but I am convinced that God does not really need our help. The fact that God invites us to join him in his work is because he delights in the relationship with us and knows we will be satisfied in that partnership with him. In my desire to help God, I am very much like a two year old trying to help his Papa.

So the lessons from a two year old that I learned that day were to enjoy each moment God gives, even though there is a task to be done, and to understand that God desires and delights in our relationship with him.

For you make me glad by your deeds, O LORD;
I sing for joy at the works of your hands.
How great are your works, O LORD,
how profound your thoughts! Psalm 92:4-5

I call on you, O God, for you will answer me;
give ear to me and hear my prayer.
Show the wonder of your great love,
you who save by your right hand
those who take refuge in you from their foes.
Keep me as the apple of your eye;
hide me in the shadow of your wings. Psalm 17:6-8

Question: What lessons have your children, or other young people, taught you about God and life?

About this Author: Mike Woodard