Togetherness is a part of Christmas celebrations. Even with family squabbles, the Christmas season is packed with family functions. Spending time with family makes us happy. When stress plays a larger part in Christmas than family it’s hard to be joyful. Peace can be hard to come by in a busy household. This year, rediscover the joy of the season. Find out what really makes you happy this Christmas.

Take the next step:

Decorating on a small budget
Eating Christmas favourites without the guilt
Stay healthy over the Christmas season
Tips for stress-free company parties this season

In his autobiography Surprised by Joy C. S. Lewis describes the distinction between happiness and joy. Happiness is a temporary and fickle emotional state, whereas joy is knowing and understanding the purpose and meaning of our lives despite our temporary and fickle circumstances. This kind of joy is not self-delusion: It is belief based on knowledge, not feelings.

Elsewhere in his writings, Lewis said “We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”

Do you value truth? Are you interested in a life of secure joy rather than unstable happiness? If you would like someone to pray for you, please contact us for prayer.

Related reading:
What does your soul crave? – Take our online interactive studies on the topic of soul cravings: Destiny, intimacy, and meaning
The Christian Hosoi Story – Known as “The Michael Jordan of skateboarding,” Christian Hosoi tells the story of his life, jail time, and search for contentment (with video)

A person can live their entire life allowing themselves to be defined by external circumstances or peer pressure. Who are you? Who do you desire to become?

Related:
“My self-esteem is at an all-time low.” – How can I restore my self-esteem?
Is there a “secret” to being a “happy person”? – Your happiness is in your own hands

“Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him. Fear the LORD , you his saints, for those who fear him lack nothing. The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.” Psalm 34:8-10

Just think – our God, who created the world and is Lord of all, wants us to find pleasure in our union with Him. His Word teaches us that He “richly supplies us with all things to enjoy” (1 Timothy 6:17). But the most important thing God has given us to enjoy is Himself. We are to find satisfaction in our relationship with Him.

One of the keys to having a satisfying relationship is acceptance. Being accepted by someone who cares for us despite our flaws frees us to enjoy the friendship. The same is true of our kinship with God. Our loving heavenly Father understands exactly who we are and, because of Jesus’ work on the cross, accepts us by means of our adoption as His children. We who were once His enemies are now embraced as His family. Permanently accepted by God, we are free to enjoy rich intimacy with Him.

There are certain actions we can take that will increase our enjoyment of the Lord. Praising God for who He is – in other words, for His attributes – will make our hearts rejoice. Spending time with Him, getting to know Him, and listening to Him increase our intimacy with God and make our spirits glad. Refusing to believe the Devil’s lies, such as “You should be afraid of God” or “Your sin is too great to be forgiven,” enables us to encounter the Lord’s love in a deeper way and know the joy of forgiveness.

Are you experiencing the joy and freedom that come from knowing God accepts you? Will you act on His invitation to find your true pleasure in Him

Question: What does Dr Stanley suggest to become more able to experience the joy and freedom?

Related:
Do You Crave Intimacy?

Related:
What Does Your Soul Crave?

Related:
Do You Want To Experience Love?

“I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live.” Ecclesiastes 3:12

It has been said that “money isn’t the only road to happiness, but it’s way ahead of whatever is in second place.” It has also been said that money cannot buy happiness, but a recent Princeton University study says that according to most Americans it can.

The study has pegged $75,000 a year as the happiness benchmark for most Americans. The further a person’s household income falls below that level, the unhappier they are. But at the same time, the study showed that no matter how much more than $75,000 people make, it doesn’t bring them any more joy…. more things, more toys, but not more joy. The study concluded that “High incomes don’t bring you happiness.”

I am not sure how they came to the $75,000 figure, but what I do know is that no amount of money can buy happiness. True happiness comes from within while income and things come from without.

The Bible says that true happiness comes not from having but from doing. God wants us to be happy, but he wants us to do good while we live. Glory built on selfish principles is shame and guilt.

William Cowper wisely noted that the only true happiness comes from “squandering ourselves for a purpose.” What is your purpose? What has God called you to do?

Don’t worry about your talents. God doesn’t call the equipped, rather he equips the called. He will never lead you where will not be equipped to go. We are having a mission week at our church and I have had the opportunity to speak with some of the happiest people I have ever met, some living in poverty and often physical danger.

But all are happy from within …… happier than any amount of money could give them, because they have the inner peace and joy of knowing that they are in God’s will and serving obediently His call. Would you be willing to answer such a call? Try it and find true happiness that cannot be measured in monetary terms.

Question: Are you willing to answer God’s call, even if you don’t feel equipped to do it?

Are you called or are you driven?

Small, isn’t it? And yet the majority of North American families in the 1950s lived in something that looked pretty much like that. After World War II, we radically expanded the idea of home ownership. Instead of renting, people bought these little houses, and they, by and large, thrived in them.

Was it tight? You betcha. Often three bedrooms with four or five kids, so 2-3 kids would have to share a bedroom. Bunk beds became major furniture items. The living room was small, so people sat on the couch and the floor to watch TV. Kids did homework at the dining room table.  My husband grew up in a house like that: four boys, one bathroom, small kitchen.  They survived just fine.

Am I about to write a post telling everyone you should run out and buy that house? No, of course not. What I am saying is this: many of the things we think are absolutely necessary are not. It is simply that we have listened to our society and we have turned many wants into needs. And that is part of what is making our lives so harried!

Today I want to talk about how to make decisions about work, because one of the biggest issues you will face when it comes to quality family time is whether or not both parents work outside the home. It’s just a fact. I’m not going to talk about whether or not you should leave your child in day care. I’m not going to talk about how you can make money if you stay at home. I’m also not going to talk about the fact that often it costs so much to work that it’s not worth it.

What I do want to talk about is how we can get off this merry go round that tells us that we NEED so much stuff. Work, you see, is directly related to expenses. Lower the expenses, and a job is not as much of an issue. Increase the expenses, and you have to work.

So let’s ask this: what was the quality of life like for people growing up in those tiny homes?

Of course, so much depended on the family, but the size of the home was not necessarily bad because people adjusted. It was all they knew and they felt grateful to have a home. Let’s also remember that in most parts of the world, far more people are squeezed into far smaller spaces than even that house represents. We are the strange ones, living with our huge homes. Our grandparents, in these small homes, were not strange. They were more the norm.

What did people do with less space? The kids played in the living room together, or in the basement. They didn’t hang out in their own rooms, away from their siblings. They tended to be together. They went outside more since inside was cramped, and thus they got more exercise, even in the winter. They didn’t spend as much time on television, because families usually only had one, and sometimes Mom and Dad would want to watch their programs and the kids had to scatter. They played board games. They made Lego. They played with dolls. They used their imagination.

And that was okay.

Dreaming big

When you were 13, did you love bridal magazines? Did you used to read them and stare at the pictures and imagine what your own wedding would be like? Many of us did. But many of us still do–we just replace the bridal magazines with Home & Garden, and we dream of a beautifully decorated, spacious home. It’s what we’re aiming for. We want to have “arrived”. We want the space, and the luxury.

But what if that space and luxury comes at the expense of massive amounts of your time–or your husband’s time? For it is not just women working that this quest for more stuff affects. It’s also men working. A few years ago we made the decision that my husband would work less so he could be home with the kids one day a week. Because he was on call so much, he was often gone at night, and he was missing out on so much with them. So he decided to work less. We gave up some money so that he could gain some much needed time. That’s what it all comes down to.

Not surprisingly, when we trim our expenses, we’re often able to build wealth and increase our security. Millionaires, for instance, don’t tend to act like millionaires. It’s those with less than a million dollars who consume all the luxury stuff, because they’re acting like they want to be millionaires.

Here are just a few stats I picked up from the Growth Matters blog:

•Eighty-six percent of all prestige or luxury makes of motor vehicles are driven by people who are not millionaires.
•Typically, millionaires pay about $16 (including tip) for a haircut.
•Nearly four in 10 millionaires buy wine that costs about $10 a bottle.
•In the United States, there are nearly three times as many millionaires living in homes with a market value of less than $300,000 than there are living in homes valued at $1 million or more.

The two things to take away so far? We can surely survive on less than we think, and yet at the same time society is lecturing us that we need more–and we’re believing it.

Think “Enough”!

Imagine how we could change the culture if we just said, “Enough!”. Enough credit card debt. Enough working round the clock to afford all the latest gadgets and the big cars. Enough stress from living beyond one’s means. Enough believing that life is all about entertainment and stuff instead of about family. You see, the best things in life aren’t things at all. But we seem to have forgotten that. We think our kids need stuff, when what they really need is us.
Here’s a family that gave up the rat race and decided to “live in the middle”.  His income has stayed steady at roughly $20,000 a year. Lola earns about $30,000 plus benefits working part time as a medical technician in a nearby hospital lab. A decade ago, the couple earned twice as much — about $100,000 a year. Gregg sold insurance, and they lived in tony North Scottsdale. But he wasn’t happy.

“We were on this treadmill of making money, making as much money as possible every year, and feeling that we always had to increase that because we wanted to buy more things and live in a nice house and have nice cars and everything else,” he says.

At the same time, Lola didn’t get a job she’d dreamed of, working at the Mayo Clinic in Scottsdale. That’s a painful memory.

“I remember I prayed, I prayed so hard. I still didn’t get a job. But there was a sense of letting go,” she says.

Perhaps you need two incomes to get you to the minimum that you can afford a house, even a small one like that. That’s okay, as long as you’re trying to meet your family’s NEEDS, not WANTS. But many of us are on a treadmill trying to meet WANTS, and it doesn’t work.

Now, those who know me are going to say it’s easy for me to suggest all this, because I’m not in that position. I’ve got it made. And I do. My husband is a doctor, and we’re able to live quite comfortably. But it was not always that way. Both Keith and I put ourselves through school. While he was in training and the kids were born, we lived in a small apartment, without a car. I spent my life with the girls taking them to playgroups and museums, because the apartment was too crowded to stay in during the day. Others in training had taken out the massive loans the banks were offering, and they had bought vehicles and homes. We didn’t. We saved for a down payment.

And then we bought a nice house, 1400 square feet, in a neighbourhood where no doctors ever lived. After ten years, we moved to the house we have now. We have always paid cash for our used cars. We buy our clothes at second hand stores. And we endeavor to take as many missions trips as possible and to give as much away as we can.  Yes, I have it easy, but even when we didn’t we made the decision to live “small” so that we could enjoy life more.

Benefits of downsizing

The best thing some people could do is to sell their home and downsize. Unfortunately, that’s not so easy right now with the glut of houses on the market. Many people will have to remain in the house they’re in simply because you can’t get a decent price right now. But maybe there are other things you can do. Buy a used car instead of a new one. Eat out less. Learn to save money on the big things, like electricity, insurance, utilities, car payments. And learn to save money on the small things, like groceries, eating, shopping. Many women basically “earn an income” by staying at home and putting a lot of time into saving money!

Is it fun? It can be! Think of it like a challenge, to make the money last. Give up some extracurricular activities with the kids, but replace it with fun family time, where you play games or have parties every week. Stop going out for dinner and have people over more. All of these things are “fun”.

Our society cannot go on the way it is, with so many living beyond their means. We are crushed in debt at every level–personal, state, federal. We have built a beautiful society, but it is built on sand. One day it will come crashing down, as it has already begun to. I want to be ready, by raising kids who don’t need stuff. Who don’t ask for a huge list at Christmas, but instead look forward to all the games we play that day. I want to live with less so I can live more. That’s getting back to what’s really important.

So here’s your exercise for today: examine your 10 biggest expenses on a monthly basis, and ask if they’re necessary. Can you downsize? Are these things you want, or things you genuinely need? Can your family develop a new way of looking at money, as something that works for you to build wealth, rather than something that slips through your fingers and is a source of stress? Can money be the vehicle that you help others with, instead of something you’re always desperately worried about?

For some it’s a hard switch, because you’re already living bare to the bone. For many of us, though, we just need to change our habits. Tell me in the comments what you think. Have you ever downsized? Have you ever chosen to forego something big? What did it feel like? Let us know!

Take the Next Steps: Trusting God, Not Credit Cards

This blog was originally posted on tolovehonorandvacuum.blogspot.com . Used with permission.

“Create in me a clean heart, O God: and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from Thy presence: and take not Thy Holy Spirit from me. Restore unto me the joy of Thy salvation: and uphold me with Thy free Spirit. Then will I teach transgressors Thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto Thee” Psalm 51:10-13, KJV

“The Christian owes it to the world to be supernaturally joyful,” said A. W. Tozer.

How do we attain that joy?

When we refuse to exhale spiritually by confessing our sins, we are miserable. On the other hand, when we do confess our sins, we experience God’s complete forgiveness. He removes our guilt and fills our lives with joy, the kind of joy we will very much want to share with others.

The psalmist also knew this when he wrote: “Create in me a new, clean heart, O God, filled with clean thoughts and right desires…Restore to me again the joy of Your salvation, and make me willing to obey You. Then I will teach Your ways to other sinners, and they – guilty like me – will repent and return to You” (Psalm 51:10,12,13).

There was a time when I allowed moods and circumstances to prevent the joyful launching of a new day with the Lord. As a result, I did not feel that close relationship with Him, that beautiful awareness of His presence that comes from fellowship with Him in His Word and in prayer, and through faithful witnessing of His reality to others.

Without that time with Him, there is no joy and the day often begins and continues in the energy of the flesh. There is no personal awareness of God’s presence, and things just seem to go wrong. We can begin every day with that joyful communion with Christ that gives us the assurance of His presence throughout the day. We are the ones who make that choice. God is available; we are the variable.

Bible Reading: Psalm 51:1-9

Today’s Action Point: I will begin this day on my knees, praising and rejoicing in the Lord as an expression of my desire to be with Him. I will read His Word and offer prayers of adoration, confession, thanksgiving and supplication. I will ask Him to lead me to others whose hearts He has prepared for this same joyful relationship with God.

Question: How do you interpret A. W. Tozer’s quote at the beginning of the article? Why does finding this joy often seem difficult?

About this Author: Bill Bright