“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” (Psalm 139:14)

I opened my inbox and said, “Wow”.  My niece had sent me pictures of some very unusual art. There’s a man who sculpts detailed, realistic images of animals and birds from tiny pieces of torn and shredded paper. Things that were tossed aside as junk, he has recycled into art. It’s absolutely gorgeous. Leftover scraps of paper have  been transformed into wonderful works of art.

That is what artists do. They take wood, or clay, or rock and sculpt beauty. They take a piece of coal and use it to draw breathtaking scenes. They take a spool of thread and weave meticulous designs. Each one sees beyond the ordinary material in their hands and envisions what it can become.

Isn’t that just what our Heavenly Creator does with each of us? He takes us in His hands and envisions the beauty inside. He considers us “wonderfully made”. (Psalm 139:14) David Crowder sings that, “God makes everything glorious, so what does that make me?” The old children’s hymn says, “Red or yellow, black or white, we are precious in His sight.” Bumper stickers claim God doesn’t make junk. Yet, how often do we really hear this message?

Mary DeMuth, a Christian author, asked her readers why we say harsh things to ourselves that we’d never say to anyone else. Why are we so mean to ourselves? Why is it that can we not see in ourselves what we see in others so easily?

Too often we see what is crumpled and torn. We see only the parts of us others may have crushed and tossed aside. We see the imperfections, the warts, the mistakes. But God sees the potential. He sees what can be. He can take the pieces of our lives and turn them into a spectacular work of art. Not one of us is worthless. We are wonderfully and fearfully made because all of His works are wonderful.

What is your self image like? Whether you are puffed up with vanity or want to break every mirror in the house, it is two sides of the same coin. It is still self-centeredness at work clouding the true beauty God has made.  Each of us is fearfully and wonderfully made.  We need to live in that truth. We need to live like women who believe it.

Dear God, I know that when you look at me You see good things.  Help me to see them too.  Help me to live as a person who believes that she is here on purpose.  In the times when I feel like I am the leftovers, the junk or just broken beyond use, remind me that You are not finished with me yet.  Help me to see the child that You see when you look at me.  Amen.

Questions: Will you ask God to begin to reveal His goodness in you more and more so you can see your inner beauty? Will you allow yourself to see you as He does?

“Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?  Actually, who are you not to be?”

I am standing in a crush of three-year-old pint-sized princesses. Surrounded by sparkling tiaras and frilly dresses, these little daubs of pink and purple are up way past their collective bed time.  We giggle.  We dance.  We wait patiently for the real princess to arrive.  Well, at least a real princess played by an actress.

Finally, the moment arrives.  Belle, the beauty from Beauty & The Beast, walks in to the room.  As she comes out from backstage, I  can see it in my daughter’s eyes.  The beauty is here.  My daughter climbs out of my arms, fixes her purple dress, and runs toward her.

Running to beauty

We are all attracted to beauty.  Beauty sells magazines.  Beauty drives our self-perception.  When I counseled teens, the issue of distorted definitions of beauty came up on a weekly basis. Our society hasn’t left us wondering what beauty is.  Beauty is full lips.  Beauty is long flowing hair.  Beauty is a body shape Barbie would be envious of.  Beauty wears the right clothes, surrounded by the right friends, and always plays with the right toys.  We’ve immersed ourselves in cultural perceptions of beauty, so much so that we don’t know where to turn.  We are consumed with the concept.

As I watch my daughter wrap her arms around Belle, a concern reveals itself in my mind.  What chance do I have to speak truth into my daughter’s life?  As she grows, who will inform her on what beauty is?

I’ve been told by culture (and a few friends) that a father’s most important job is to provide. Be strong.  Be courageous.  And bring home the cash. Become “the provider for all, and the enemy of all,” as J. August Strindbergto once so eloquently wrote.  On TV the only other option is to fill the role of a bumbling, awkward individual — the comedic outlet in the family fabric (see world-famous dad Homer Simpson).  Is there room for a father to “woo” his daughter and reflect God’s heart for her?  Are those moments as rare as a dance at a graduation, followed by another at her wedding?

Wooing your daughter’s heart

The role of father is vitally important to the emotional and spiritual (not to mention relational!) well-being of a daughter.  A Dad is not just a provider, protector, and live-in comedian.  Neither is a mother only a cook, cleaner, and sole provider of “the nurture factor”.

A father has the ability, to reflect the love that the Father has for us.  He has the opportunity to “woo” his daughter’s heart – to let her taste the depth and strength of love.  He is given the capability to speak the truth of beauty deeply into the heart of his daughter.

The tragic truth is this – if fathers do not take the opportunity to speak beauty into their daughters’ lives, someone else happily will.  Turn your television on to any station and watch for a few minutes.  Volunteer to chaperone a junior high dance.  These are the prevailing voices of beauty in our culture.  These are the voices your daughter (or son) will hear every day.

I want my daughter to know that she is beautiful. Not just for the reason that she could star on Toddlers and Tiaras, or even because she is smart, and talented, and funny.  Those are all wonderful things and part of the gift of a daughter, but I want her to know that she is deeply beautiful because of Who made her.  I want her to believe that her Father desires a deep and meaningful relationship with her, and so do I.

I want to be someone she can trust, someone she can talk with, someone she can walk through life together with.  I want to be someone who can humbly and brokenly reflect the love that her Heavenly Father has for her.  I want to woo the heart of my daughter so that she knows that her beauty transcends the length of her hair, the color of her eyes, the ability with which she reads.

After all, who is she?

“…who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?  Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.”

She is a child of God — and so are you.  God has created you beautifully.

As fathers, we have the gift of engaging in our daughters’ lives meaningfully.  And to unveil the true meaning of beauty found in each of our daughters.

Take a deep breath

It’s important, Dads, to take a deep breath.  You’ve likely walked through the feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt that come with parenting already in your journey.  This segment of your daughter’s life – no matter if she is a two year old dress-twirler or a fourteen year old boy-chaser – is a great time to speak beauty into your daughter’s life.  So take few tips from a fellow bumbling live-in comedian:

> Open your ears. Chances are, if she’s older than two, she’s using more words than you do.  When you listen, you’re communicating more than attention in her life.  You’re signifying that her world is a priority and that she is worthy of your interest.

> Be in the moment with her. With a thousand other pressures confronting fathers, it is easy to tune out.  These are the moments you live for, not what’s coming for you tomorrow at work.

>Two words: date night. This is a special phrase in our house.  The word date means undivided attention over breakfast, at a restaurant, walking with candy apples.  It’s a time when my daughter can talk to her Dad.  (And believe me, she does.)

So I stand here and reflect, amidst the mass of little princesses, as my daughter embraces Belle and looks back at me.  And when she looks back, I hope she begins to understand that her daddy is in this moment with her, that she is loved, and that she is beautiful.

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