10. Tools. Unless she’s a handywoman or she’s told you her great desire to take out the bathtub and build a new one, I’d save the wrenches for someone else—maybe yourself.

9. A vacuum. Any cleaning or kitchen appliance says, “Honey, clean the house for me.” Your wife or girlfriend wants to be more than the housekeeper in your life.

8. A cookbook. “She has to cook all the time,” the rationale may go, “I’ll get her a cookbook!” But see the rationale for #9: She wants to be reminded how she is special and appreciated at Christmas time, not given more work to do!

7. Clothes. Now, some men are very good at buying clothes and they know the exact size of their woman. However, you must keep in mind that women are shaped very differently and sizes can vary depending on the store. For example, I am a size 2 at one store and a size 4 at another, and I have shirts that are size small or large. To avoid complications, I suggest buying a gift certificate at your wife or girlfriend’s favorite mall, or bring her sister or best friend to pick out the clothing with you!

6. Tickets to the monster truck rally. I have a feeling that I’m in the minority when it comes to women who might enjoy a monster truck rally, so if I were you, I wouldn’t even bother lining up for tickets. And yes, this includes the car show, the motorcycle show, the boat show, NASCAR races…OK, you get my point.

5. Tires. Continuing the car theme, while your wife might need new tires for her car, she doesn’t necessarily want them as a Christmas gift. In fact, unless she’s a real greasemonkey or you’re buying her a completely new car, it’d be best to avoid car-related gifts entirely.

4. Computer equipment. There is a short list of tech gadgets, like an iPad, that are a good gift. But whether it’s a new printer or a copy of Microsoft Office or QuickTax, Christmas just isn’t the time to buy hardware or software for your wife or girlfriend. Wait until you’re both doing your taxes.

3. Socks. Yes, socks are useful, but they’re just not the type of Christmas gift a woman is thrilled about. I don’t feel a need to explain further.

2. Fruitcake. Yes, Christmas fruitcakes last about 12 years, but that’s because nobody eats them. And neither will your wife.

1. Membership to a diet program. Maybe she’s told you that she’s always wanted to join one. Maybe she’s told you that she thinks she’s fat. Does that mean you think she’s not beautiful and won’t be until she loses weight? I sure hope not. But that’s exactly what a membership to a diet program says. Exercise videos have the same effect. Men, flee from the infomercials that convince you otherwise! I suggest giving her something that makes her feel special and loved. Be thoughtful about it, and don’t forget to tell her how beautiful you think she is this holiday season.

Take the next step:

8 Ways to romance your wife 
Give her a gift she’ll treasure forever: How to write a love letter
10 Dates for any budget 

“Welcome to the Genesis Room,” he says.

Meet David Maclean, founder, president and creative director of Maclean Group Marketing and Maclean Sports Marketing. With 20 years of marketing experience under his belt, it was a privilege to sit down with him in the Genesis Room—where new ideas are created and birthed—and ask him, What makes a great leader and entrepreneur?

MTO: So David, what’s one of the greatest traits of an entrepreneur?

David Maclean:

“Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checked by failure, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.” - Theodore Roosevelt

Courage. Anything of significance demands courage. Every entrepreneur knows it takes courage to succeed in being an entrepreneur. Courage isn’t something that was taught in school; it’s is an issue of the heart. It is important to dig deep inside and find out what keeps you from having courage.

I was completely depressed about 10 years ago when I was unemployed and had two young boys and a wife to provide for. I had no idea what I was going to do. My whole world seemed to have fallen apart. But I had to make something out of myself.

Sitting alone at my desk, I knew I had to come up with something. I remembered playing with small parachutes as a kid, where there was a small plastic figurine tied to a plastic parachute sheet. The figurine would fall and the parachute would come down with it.

That’s it! That’s the idea! I took this idea and presented a marketing strategy to a phone company. At a sports game, t-shirts with the team logo would be dropped from high above, and attached to each t-shirt is a parachute with the phone company’s logo. The parachute would sail down and everyone would see the phone company’s logo, large and clear.

I presented this idea to the phone company and they bought it right away. Needless to say, it took courage.

Courage

Courage is not knowing what’s going to happen, but still believing. I didn’t know what was going to happen and I didn’t know how I was going to earn a living. I didn’t even know if the company would like the idea. But I went for it.

“Courage is being scared to death – but saddling up anyway.” – John Wayne

Sometimes hiring your first employee takes a lot of courage. It’s tough to trust someone and pay someone. You might even ask yourself: Am I paying them enough that they’ll do a good job? Can I trust them to get the job done? It takes courage to trust your company in someone else’s hands.

Courage is not letting fear stop you. It’s pressing through fear. Without fear, an entrepreneur is not pushing his or her limits past the comfort zone; and an entrepreneur’s true comfort zone is outside his or her comfort zone.

MTO: What are some other characteristics that make a great entrepreneur?

David Maclean: Compassion and empathy, perseverance, and work life balance are key in succeeding as an entrepreneur.

1. Compassion and empathy

Great leaders know it’s not all about them, it’s about the team. Keep in mind that charisma is a great quality to have, but it can also be your handicap. Your charisma can make it easy for you to make everything about you—and this could be your greatest downfall.

Business is about people. We usually think people serve as resources to get more time and more money. But that’s not true. Time and money are resources to serve people, not the other way around.

When it comes to customers, vendors and staff, it’s not about working them to get money.

My goal is to help my staff achieve the goals they have in the corporation. It’s about understanding what’s going on in their work and lives. It’s important to ask them, “Are you feeling stressed?” You want your staff to like being part of the company. They should want to succeed in the company and enjoy their role in the company. It’s not just about money, it’s about people.

2. Perseverance

The key to perseverance is to show up and keep going. There are so many things you’ll miss out on because you gave up too soon. Know that there will be days when we say, “I’ve had enough!”

Sometimes what makes you want to give up can be a heart issue. It’s important to ask yourself why you’re giving up. What is going on in your heart? What’s keeping you from getting through the situation? Is it because your pride is on the line? Did your feelings get hurt? Can communication help the situation?

Remember, bad things happen and issues will come up. It’s inevitable. But we must keep going. Perseverance makes us stronger in the end.

3. Work life balance

We hear it again and again: balance is essential. But how do you balance, practically speaking?

The key to having balance is taking care of your heart. What renews you? Take time out to do those things, whatever they are. If you don’t, the company will burn you out. You need time outside the company to restore, renew and rejuvenate. Your heart and spirit will thank you.

People tend to forget to take care of their heart, physically, emotionally and spiritually. If you don’t take care of your heart, who will? It’s the essence of who you are and it will make you a greater leader and entrepreneur.

Pink is the new black

Gone are the monochromatic blacks and grays in favor of color, especially the color pink.

Pink striped ties and shirts are the way to go, try matching by mismatching a pink striped shirt with a green mini-dotted tie. Go with striped tie and striped shirt, stripes and checks, checks and checks—anything you want! Even pants and jackets can be found in a wide array of colors. Corals, coppers, pastels and wheat are very popular. For the laid-back, relaxed look, try wearing a sport coat with an open neck bright colored shirt, or take off the tie and open your dress shirt collar. The rule is to be bold, don’t worry about highly contrasting colors, and feel free to have your own individual style.

Cooling down

When the suit comes off and it’s time for those summer barbeques and dinners, Tommy Bahama and Nat Nast washed silks and prints in pastels can be worn over the pants or shorts. They are loose fitting and comfortable, perfect for looking good in the hot weather.

Big names in business fashion

What’s in a name? For men who consider fashion part of their personality, a lot. From top end brands like Canali and Brioni, to Hugo Boss, Kenneth Cole, Ted Baker, Ralph Lauren Couture, Prada and Versace, what’s on your suit’s tag dictates its quality and your eye for fashion. When asked if they are concerned about fashion, most men will say they are not, but if you ask to see the inside label of their suit or what’s parked in their garage, they are more than happy to oblige.

Today, there is no need to hide beneath the “I’m the man” façade. As fashion has changed, so has people’s perception of a man who knows how to dress. A man who knows how to look good and in turn feels good about himself is very attractive. Don’t hesitate to be creative when it comes to fashion, a woman digs a man who has his own style.

1. People are valuable

Fame and fortune will only leave you dissatisfied. When we realize that we are created and designed to have relationships, we see that life is always exciting. Dr. Clyde Narramore once said, “Every person is worth understanding.” This concept applies to the workplace in huge ways. Achieving something by throwing money at it (or him or her) can only get someone so far, while achieving a goal through establishing relationships can last a lifetime.

Each person we work with is a real person who is invaluable. Understanding the people we work with and spending time with them creates team synergy. One man cannot run a business by himself, and if he does, he is sure to fail. He needs to work with a team, and care for the members. When someone doesn’t care, they can try to hide it, but people can tell eventually. In the same way, when someone does care, it can be seen and is encouraging and empowering to the people around them.

2. Attitude affects success

Our attitude towards life and people can affect our success. When we take the time to know people for who they are, we begin to empathize with them and want what’s best for them. People are worth the time put into them. When we have an empathetic attitude towards people and start to understand where they are coming from, we meet them where they are—their needs, their talents and their vision. Our attitude in the workplace affects other people, and it’s contagious too. At the end of the day, it is the people we’ve influenced, touched, and come to truly care about that really keep us going.

3. Delegation expands capacity for success

In organizing anything, whether it is a large event, a meeting, a project—whatever it is, an effective leader knows how to delegate. Delegation isn’t just the boss giving orders and telling people what to do. A great leader cares for the people he is delegating. He knows them: their strengths, weaknesses, needs and vision. He assigns them the tasks he knows they are capable of and gifted in. He empathizes with their needs and is there to encourage and empower when it is considered valuable. If he knows his team and has relationships with them, it is much easier for him to delegate and there is trust in each team member to get the task done.

4. Passion fuels success

Making a difference in the world seems so cliché these days. Well, in essence, everyone does make some sort of contribution, though the question is whether it’s a good one or not.

Making a difference means impacting people’s lives. Jack has a passion for helping  people in third world countries. He had the privilege of using his gifts in management, construction and architecture to start a company. This company in turn made the money possible for him to start The Jack Neufeld Family Charitable Foundation, which supports humanitarian endeavors worldwide by building houses for low income people, and improving healthcare, education and environmental conditions. Jack believes a man without passion is like a car without gas. Passion is the fuel that keeps us headed towards our destination.

5. Invest in your relationships

When it comes down to it, true success is what you want it to be. How many times has someone gained all the acclaims and money he can in the world and still felt unsuccessful? Success is about impacting people. It’s time to invest in people’s lives, whether it’s taking the time to truly care for people we work with, or making someone’s world just a bit better to live. When people are on their deathbed, they don’t regret not getting more education or making more money. One of the first things they regret is not investing more time in relationships. You may not see all the resources available at your fingertips, however, as you begin to focus on success being about influencing people, you will see that you can make a difference in the lives of those you interact with. This type of success has huge return on investment!

For the love of the fame

Darrel sought his news broadcasting endeavors because of his high school teacher’s suggestion to go into the field. Having taught him English and Social Studies, this teacher knew Darrel’s abilities in reading and writing, as well as his interest in History. After high school, Darrel landed a job at a radio station in Moose Jaw as a news broadcaster. Then he moved into news reporting and anchoring at a TV news station in Saskatchewan. From there, he went to Montreal to be an anchor and then to Calgary to be a news broadcaster for CFCN. As one of the most recognized TV personalities in the city, he has been there for 32 years.

Darrel admits that he loved the attention he got in his career and that the fame was a part of what he was after. He was not able to give up his career for anything such as his own beliefs and values at the time. As a child in Vacation Bible School, he believed in Jesus but never really had a relationship with him. In fact, in the first 15 years of his career, he was scared of going back to God and starting a relationship with him. He feared that if he did, he’d be asked to give up his job. And he wasn’t ready to give up his career as a news broadcaster.

But God kept tugging at his heart and Darrel felt God’s presence. The feeling confirmed God’s existence and how much Darrel needed him. Darrel knew that there was a God out there and that Jesus Christ was very real and still is today—the Son of God who died on the cross for our sins. He felt lost and knew he needed Christ. It finally got to point where he had to overcome his fear and be ready to leave the business if God asked.

But God didn’t ask him to give up his job…

When Darrel surrendered everything to God, even his career, he finally found freedom. Freedom because his career wasn’t the be all and end all anymore; he wasn’t living for his job, but for God.

Drawing the line

When it comes to compromising his values with his career, Darrel has learned to draw the line. A person without a foundation of morals or values will end up falling in the end or letting something else control him. Once, Darrel had to decide if he thought it was okay to have some obscene language on air. He insisted that their network was a family network and that the news was also viewed by many young people. He was ready and willing to put his job on the line because he believed so strongly that the obscene language was inappropriate. In the end, the network did not air the obscene language and to this day, Darrel does not doubt standing by his morals on this.

To Darrel, true success means having a vibrant relationship with the Lord. Without that, he would not have the foundation for standing by his beliefs. When we compromise our values, we are lost. Darrel believes that without God, he would not be where he is today as a senior anchor. Yes, it is difficult at times when people know you are a Christian and watch you like a hawk, but Darrel can always count on his relationship with God at the end of the day.

What do you stand by?

If you’ve ever felt lost, or controlled by your career, your old habits, what people think, etc., you are not alone. Jesus Christ died on the cross so that we could be free from the shackles that bound us. He offers a relationship with God that no career or amount of money can give you.

You can receive Christ right now by faith through prayer.  Praying is simply talking to God. God knows your heart and is not so concerned with your words as He is with the attitude of your heart. Here’s a suggested prayer:

Lord Jesus, I want to know you personally. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life to you and ask you to come in as my Savior and Lord. Take control of my life. Thank you for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Make me the kind of person you want me to be.

Former police officer and expert hunter Manley McCorkell sat down with MenTodayOnline to talk about hunting, fears and the things that make life worth living.

MTO: When did you start hunting?

MC: I got my first deer when I was 12 years old. For me, hunting is a way of life. I love being out in the wilderness, appreciating nature and being outdoors, away from the busyness of life.

MTO: What do you hunt? What kind of equipment do you use when you hunt?

MC: I usually hunt deer, elk and bear too. Bears make good sausage! I have a 4-wheel-drive quad and I usually use a 300 Winchester Short Magnum or 30-06 rifles.

MTO: What tips do you have for people who may be interested in hunting?

MC:

1. Attend a training program. There are core hunter training programs available. Check for hunting programs in your location. Get a gun and hunting license and be sure to get a government safety manual. Depending on where you are, you may need to pass an examination before you get your hunting license.

2. Go with someone you know. Make sure your friend has gone hunting before. Going with a friend and learning from him is the easiest way to learn how to hunt. Learn from experienced people.

3. Be well-equipped. Make sure you have all the right equipment. Your life depends on it. You can get most of your supplies at a sporting good store. If you’re camping outdoors, don’t forget the right clothing and a sleeping bag. Oh, and remember to pack meals for yourself!

4. Research. It is vital that you do your research before you go. Make sure you know which animals will be at the location you are hunting. Sometimes there are grizzlies, mountain lions and other wild animals that could hurt you. Be extremely cautious and aware of the risks and dangers involved.

MTO: What do you enjoy most about hunting?

MC: I see hunting as a bonding time with friends and family. When I was a police officer, I was in a car accident with my partner and he was killed. Afterwards, I started thinking about the things that mattered in life. Relationships and spending time with my friends and family were on that list.

I also learned what didn’t belong on that list. You see, I spent most of my life living for a pat on the back. I wanted my sergeant, parents, friends and even strangers to say, “Good job, Manley” or “Great going, you’re the best!” I wanted to be somebody special. But I learned there’s more to life than getting ahead.

MTO: What makes life more? What makes it worth living?

MC: Knowing God. Now, let me explain that. I was baptized as an infant but that didn’t mean much to me because I didn’t really know anything about religion or who Jesus was. When I joined the police force, I had fellow officers who were Christians and tried to tell me about God. At that time I didn’t really respond but what they said stuck with me. They told me God loves me and sacrificed his son Jesus Christ on the cross to die for my sins—all my faults and all the things that made me feel guilty. Jesus rose from the dead after three days and offers us the gift of forgiveness and ultimately, the gift of eternal life. We can have a relationship with God if we believe.

It wasn’t until after I resigned from the police force that I found a Bible in my night drawer and started reading it. I remembered all the things my friends shared with me and I realized there is a God, a God who loves me and sacrificed his son for me. I believe in Jesus and I believe he saved my life. I see that there is more to life than recognition. I know where I’m going when I die, and knowing God makes life worth living.

I have a new life with Jesus now. I still face challenges today, but I know I need to follow the Lord. I am so thankful for my Christian friends who support me in all the big and little things in life. Life isn’t easier as a Christian, but it’s better.

Take a look at your life.  How would you describe it? Contented? Rushed? Exciting? Stressful? Moving forward? Holding back? For many of us it’s all of the above at times. There are things we dream of doing one day, there are things we wish we could forget. In the Bible, it says that Jesus came to make all things new.  What would your life look like if you could start over with a clean slate?

If you are looking for peace, there is a way to balance your life. No one can be perfect, or have a perfect life. But every one of us has the opportunity to experience perfect grace through a personal relationship with God through His Son, Jesus Christ.

You can receive Christ right now by faith through prayer. Praying is simply talking to God. God knows your heart and is not so concerned with your words as He is with the attitude of your heart. Here’s a suggested prayer:

Lord Jesus, I want to know you personally. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life to you and ask you to come in as my Savior and Lord. Take control of my life. Thank you for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Make me the kind of person you want me to be.

TOM:

Suellen likes to introduce me as her first and third husband because it surprises people. I can see why some people think it’s shocking and I guess it is, but I am so grateful to God that I have the privilege of being her husband today. A marriage  with God in it is so different from one without. We had to learn this the hard way, after much pain, difficulty and tears.

But let me first tell you how it all started and Suellen can fill in the parts I miss, or tell what it was really like.

In the beginning…

TOM:

Suellen and I went to university together and started dating at a very young age. She hates it when I say this, but I think she was probably the best looking girl in Saskatoon. She was even in a Miss Canada pageant! She was a beautiful woman and still is today. Our work careers started out and I stumbled into the healthcare field, through the finance area, and then I quickly became the CEO of a healthcare organization. That organization merged with two other ones into a new organization and I was named one of the 50 best bosses in Canada by MacLean’s magazine. Externally, everything in my life seemed to look good, but that wasn’t enough for me. I was always looking for something else.

[See post to watch Flash video]

Broken relationships

My looking for something else led me to start a relationship with another woman. This brought a five-year saga of pain into my life that drove me to illness. All the things I had worked for started to fall apart. Although Suellen and I both professed to be Christians, I wasn’t allowing God to be active in my life and I didn’t actually have a relationship with him at the time.

SUELLEN:

I was completely devastated when I found out Tom was having an affair. As the youngest of four daughters, I was an over-achiever. I learned to please. I was a competent and independent individual, which is what I think attracted Tom to me in the first place. I knew Tom was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and I tried in so many different ways to be the woman that Tom wanted me to be. Tom was never really satisfied with anything, so I always felt like I had to be better.

My whole world fell apart when I found out Tom was unfaithful to me but I didn’t turn to God for help. I felt like I did something wrong and didn’t do enough to be the woman Tom wanted. I had made a commitment to Christ long ago, but I didn’t actually have a relationship with God at the time. I was so consumed with Tom’s affair it took me a long time to realize that I needed God’s help to get through this.  During this horrible time, Tom tried to come home about five times, but he left me every time, over and over and over again. It felt as if he came back each time to say, “You’re not good enough.”

Tom got married again and I foolishly remarried also. We regret hurting two other people. As we allowed God to be at the center of our lives He began our healing journey.

Fixing mistakes

TOM:

During the five-year period our marriage was broken, I felt that I had to turn to God because I wasn’t getting anything done myself. I was a complete mess. I think God was telling both of us that our own plans weren’t working.

SUELLEN:

Right after my second wedding, I knew very quickly that I had made a mistake. Tom wanted to come home again and he said, “You know what? I’ve got God sitting at the center of my life. He’s in control now.” And I watched him change. Over a period of time, I realized again that this was the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with. People thought I was crazy! My three older sisters told me not to trust Tom because he was going to hurt me all over again. I felt my credibility as a reasonable and sane person was at stake.

A happy and different ending

I didn’t trust Tom, I trusted God. We both made God the central part of our lives and sought a relationship with him, individually and together. We got married again. That was 10 years ago and it’s been a miracle that God could take the mess that we created and kept making worse and worse, and turn it into the beautiful relationship we now have. When you put Jesus right at the center of the marriage, it works differently and works well. We have to get up each and every day and say, “Jesus, I want you on the throne of my life,” because that’s the only way it can work.

TOM:

Our marriage has changed and improved dramatically. But the real story is that none of this would have been possible without God. I believe God’s love is continuing to be shown through our lives and that is why we’re happy to share our story with others. We want everyone to know that when you give up your life to God and allow him to be the center of your marriage; he can heal every wound and make any marriage work.

SUELLEN:

We’re here together as husband and wife to serve God together in any way we can. Every day we thank God for how things have turned out for us. We are also thankful for our son Brett.

Healing

There are some things in life that we feel can never be mended again. If you’ve ever felt this way, there is hope. Jesus can bring healing to anything. God gave us his Son Jesus Christ on the cross to die for our sins so that we can be made new again and have a relationship with him.

You can receive Christ right now by faith through prayer.  Praying is simply talking to God.  God knows your heart and is not so concerned with your words as He is with the attitude of your heart.  Here’s a suggested prayer:

Lord Jesus, I want to know you personally. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life to you and ask you to come in as my Savior and Lord. Take control of my life. Thank you for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Make me the kind of person you want me to be. Amen.

I was desperate, dissatisfied and in great despair that Saturday night I ran with Debra to the church for help. For 12 years, my wife and I had been hiding our broken and dishonest marriage beneath the veneer of the happy and “normal” couple. We had to break the cycle of deceit and conflict before it affected our daughter, so we finally went to the nearby church.

A cheating past

I was unfaithful to Debra, and after this was revealed to her, we had to face the possibility of divorce and a family breakup. As we began the painful and ugly process of ending our marriage, we tried to seek counselors and therapists for hope, but no matter where we turned, people told us there was no saving the marriage.

But something inside me told me there was hope. I wanted to mend this relationship so badly and I was willing to do anything, even go to a church where I didn’t know anybody. There, we met a man who later became a good friend of ours. He was the only person who told us there was indeed hope but we needed God’s help. That night, Debra and I realized and came to believe that Jesus is the son of God and that we needed him. He died on the cross for our sins—past, present and future—and I realized I was forgiven by God for my actions in the past.

Proving hopelessness wrong

In the weeks that followed, Debra and I spent time with the friend we met at the church and we began reading the Bible together. As we better understood God and his love for us, we began to see that our marriage may not be hopeless after all. It might seem impossible to fix our marriage from a human perspective, but with God and his love for us, anything is possible.

Shortly after, Debra told me that she had forgiven me, but she didn’t know how that could be possible. She repeatedly asked God in prayer how she could have forgiven me for hurting her. Even more confusing to her was the realization that she was feeling genuine love for me. We quickly came to recognize that this was the grace of God—a gift we do not deserve, especially me. God was giving us hope; his grace and forgiveness was healing our marriage and bringing restoration to our lives.

We decided to take time off work and focus on each other and our relationship. At that time, our backyard was a complete disaster because of a major renovation project. Like our lives, it looked like a bomb had hit it. Each day we would get up and work on the yard together. Shovel by shovel, stone by stone, tree by tree, our yard was transformed from a disaster to a thing of beauty. As the yard changed, we too were changed. Through this project, we began to know each other better and fall in love with each other again. There was hope after all.

God longs for all of us to come to repentance, to admit we have sinned and need God. For me repentance meant being sorry enough to ask God to help me stop and being convicted enough to turn from my sin. Christ didn’t want our marriage to end and he was with us to save it. Debra and I had to deal with the past wrongs together with God, and to this day, God has indeed saved our marriage and granted us healing.

A new marriage

We renewed our vows this past year and wrote out a new contract that we both signed. We know it will take time for the trust to be built again between us, but we are ready to do whatever we can. We’ve even taken practical steps—she comes with me on my business trips whenever she feels uncomfortable with me leaving and I’ve given her all the passwords to my computer. Each morning, we spend time reading the Bible and praying together. We are so grateful for the grace that God has given us. We’ve finally let go of our own lives and trusted them to him.

I’ve realized that trying to run my own life doesn’t work. I’ve stopped taking control and He is in control now. His love is everlasting. Jesus has forgiven everything and can heal anything.

Is there an area of your life that needs restoration?

God is waiting to help put the broken pieces back together.  In the Bible it says that God loves the world so much that he sent his son to suffer in our place so that the slate can be wiped clean.  Because of Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross forgiveness is available for everyone.  No matter what has happen to us, no matter what we’ve done.

You can receive Christ right now by faith through prayer. Praying is simply talking to God. God knows your heart and is not so concerned with your words as He is with the attitude of your heart. Here’s a suggested prayer:

Lord, I need you now more than ever. I want your peace of mind. In the midst of my broken heart and my pain, I turn to you. Jesus, I ask you to forgive my sins and to give me your peace and comfort. I open the door of my life and put my trust in you.

If you sincerely expressed that prayer to God, you can know that you have a personal relationship with Him. He will be your comfort. God promises us “peace that passes understanding” in other words peace in a world that doesn’t make sense. You can know peace and hope even when your world is in turmoil. You can be restored.  God does not change. Ever.

At the unripe age of nine, I was necking girls.

Looking back as a husband and father, I could see I was going down a dangerous road at such a young age. That same year, my mom died of a heart attack. At that time, my sister was 20 and my brother was 19—I was the youngest child by 10 years.

My mother’s death changed who we were, especially my brother. He went to university and started attending a Bible study there because he was searching for more in life. He said our mom’s death made him think about life and what makes life worth living. My family was never religious or Christian so my brother studying the Bible was new and surprising to me.

The accident

The Christmas after my mom died, my family and I went on a family trip to Whistler, British Columbia. We accidentally left the car headlights on and the battery died. We ended up having to push the car.

So there I was, pushing the car, when WHAM! A car came around the corner and ran over top of me. I was dragged down the highway, stuck onto the bottom of the car! All I could remember from the traumatic incident was my brother asking me, “Do you want to know Jesus Christ?” And he prayed Jesus would save me.

I woke up in the hospital with a concussion, a cracked tooth and a cast. It was a miracle. Needless to say, at nine years old, I should have been dead.

Things started to change

That night something happened in me, something changed. I wanted to learn who Jesus is—and I did:

1. I learned that God created the universe and he created me.
2. I learned that I’m a sinner—I lie, I cheat, I hate… the list goes on.
3. But God gave his son Jesus to us. Jesus died on the cross for all of our sins, past, present and future. He rose from the dead and is alive today.
4. I came to believe in Jesus and I accepted him into my life. I now have a relationship with God. He has changed my life.

Now, my view of women and relationships changed. Just thinking back to how I was making out with girls at such a young age makes me realize I was seeking women for my own gain, so that I could feel good. Now I see my selfish ways—I see relationships as a blessing from God.

Happily ever after?

The story doesn’t end here. In fact, the Christian life isn’t just roses and daisies after you believe in Jesus. There are many challenges, but each challenge makes you stronger.

In college, I realized how important it is to be a part of a church. Following Jesus is a team game. The church is not a building; it is a gathering of believers. The church is the army and family of God where we learn to love and care for each other. I know this doesn’t happen at every church building and some people have in fact been hurt by the church. But if church is what it’s supposed to be—a family—I assure you it is a powerful experience.

God and business

I later got a degree in business and physical education. I realized that God and business do mix. If God is going to be the most important part of my life, why can’t he be a part of my career?

It was God who provided me with the opportunity of starting a marketing group, Maclean Group Marketing, Inc. As the president, I don’t see my staff as a means of helping my company advance; rather, my staff are real people, and I am there to help my staff reach their goals within the corporation.

I think life takes the boot to men’s hearts. These days, men are walking through life, going about their daily business, but their hearts are not alive. God has a great adventure for mankind. He has a journey he wants to take you on.

Is your heart dead?

If you have obtained many things yet still feel like something is missing, like you’re dead inside, just going about your daily routine, you are not alone. Christ is the only fulfillment that lasts. You can receive Christ right now by faith through prayer. Praying is simply talking to God. God knows your heart and is not so concerned with your words as he is with the attitude of your heart. Here’s a suggested prayer:

Lord Jesus, I want to know you personally. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life to you and ask you to come in as my Savior and Lord. Take control of my life. Thank you for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Make me the kind of person you want me to be.

I was desperate, dissatisfied and in great despair that Saturday night I ran with Debra to the church for help. For 12 years, my wife and I had been hiding our broken and dishonest marriage beneath the veneer of the happy and “normal” couple. We had to break the cycle of deceit and conflict before it affected our daughter, so we finally went to the nearby church.

A cheating past

I was unfaithful to Debra, and after this was revealed to her, we had to face the possibility of divorce and a family breakup. As we began the painful and ugly process of ending our marriage, we tried to seek counselors and therapists for hope, but no matter where we turned, people told us there was no saving the marriage.

But something inside me told me there was hope. I wanted to mend this relationship so badly and I was willing to do anything, even go to a church where I didn’t know anybody. There, we met a man who later became a good friend of ours. He was the only person who told us there was indeed hope but we needed God’s help. That night, Debra and I realized and came to believe that Jesus is the son of God and that we needed him. He died on the cross for our sins—past, present and future—and I realized I was forgiven by God for my actions in the past.

Proving hopelessness wrong

In the weeks that followed, Debra and I spent time with the friend we met at the church and we began reading the Bible together. As we better understood God and his love for us, we began to see that our marriage may not be hopeless after all. It might seem impossible to fix our marriage from a human perspective, but with God and his love for us, anything is possible.

Shortly after, Debra told me that she had forgiven me, but she didn’t know how that could be possible. She repeatedly asked God in prayer how she could have forgiven me for hurting her. Even more confusing to her was the realization that she was feeling genuine love for me. We quickly came to recognize that this was the grace of God—a gift we do not deserve, especially me. God was giving us hope; his grace and forgiveness was healing our marriage and bringing restoration to our lives.

We decided to take time off work and focus on each other and our relationship. At that time, our backyard was a complete disaster because of a major renovation project. Like our lives, it looked like a bomb had hit it. Each day we would get up and work on the yard together. Shovel by shovel, stone by stone, tree by tree, our yard was transformed from a disaster to a thing of beauty. As the yard changed, we too were changed. Through this project, we began to know each other better and fall in love with each other again. There was hope after all.

God longs for all of us to come to repentance, to admit we have sinned and need God. For me repentance meant being sorry enough to ask God to help me stop and being convicted enough to turn from my sin. Christ didn’t want our marriage to end and he was with us to save it. Debra and I had to deal with the past wrongs together with God, and to this day, God has indeed saved our marriage and granted us healing.

A new marriage

We renewed our vows this past year and wrote out a new contract that we both signed. We know it will take time for the trust to be built again between us, but we are ready to do whatever we can. We’ve even taken practical steps—she comes with me on my business trips whenever she feels uncomfortable with me leaving and I’ve given her all the passwords to my computer. Each morning, we spend time reading the Bible and praying together. We are so grateful for the grace that God has given us. We’ve finally let go of our own lives and trusted them to him. I’ve realized that trying to run my own life doesn’t work. I’ve stopped taking control and He is in control now. His love is everlasting. Jesus has forgiven everything and can heal anything.

Are you going through more than you feel you can handle? Are you being crushed under the weight of your problems? It doesn’t have to be that way. There is hope for your marriage.  No matter what the circumstance, you can have an abundant life – peace, joy and contentment as God brings about His own character within you. The first step is making sure that Christ is really on the driver’s seat of your life and that you are allowing His Spirit to fill you and empower you.

Pray this simple prayer and by faith invite Him to fill you with His Spirit.

Dear Father, I need You. I acknowledge that I have sinned against You by directing my own life. I thank You that You have forgiven my sins through Christ’s death on the cross for me. I now invite Christ to again take His place on the throne of my life. Fill me with the Holy Spirit as You commanded me to be filled, and as You promised in Your Word that You would do if I asked in faith. I pray this in the name of Jesus. As an expression of my faith, I thank You for directing my life and for filling me with the Holy Spirit. Amen.

If you prayed this prayer, we would love to hear about it! We will e-mail you some information to help you grow, and respond personally to your questions.