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	<title>Power to Change &#187; lies</title>
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	<itunes:category text="Society &#38; Culture" />
	<itunes:author>Power to Change</itunes:author>
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		<itunes:name>Power to Change</itunes:name>
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		<title>Walking with Integrity</title>
		<link>http://powertochange.com/blogposts/2011/11/21/walking-with-integrity/</link>
		<comments>http://powertochange.com/blogposts/2011/11/21/walking-with-integrity/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 21 Nov 2011 09:00:55 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><a href="http://powertochange.com/blogposts/author/tholladay/">Tom Holladay</a></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[BreakThroughPrayer Mens Daily Devotionals]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Devotional]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Devotional For Men]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[God]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[holiness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[integrity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Men]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[prayer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[righteousness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tom holladay]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[truth]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thelife.com/?p=11420</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Would you like someone to walk with you in your walk with God, keeping you accountable in your integrity? A mentor can help! “The man of integrity walks securely, but he who takes crooked paths will be found out.” Proverbs 10:9 Have you noticed how your stomach turns into knots when you tell a lie? [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-17554" title="devo-interact-icon-42x42" src="http://powertochange.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/devo-interact-icon-42x42.jpg" alt="devo-interact-icon-42x42" width="42" height="42" align="left" /><br />
<em>Would you like someone to walk with you in your walk with God, keeping you accountable in your integrity? A <a href="http://powertochange.com/discover/talk-to-a-mentor/">mentor</a> can help!</em></p>
<p><em></em><em>“The man of integrity walks securely, but he who takes crooked paths will be found out.”</em> Proverbs 10:9</p>
<p>Have you noticed how your stomach turns into knots when you tell a lie?</p>
<p>We are dishonest for a lot of reasons: we fear how we might appear, what others might think, and how it might impact us. But, when it comes right down to it, we usually lie because we think it will make things &#8220;better.” We see an advantage in the lie.</p>
<p>But this proverb shows two practical advantages that always come with the truth.</p>
<p>1) Security &#8212; Without integrity we feel like we&#8217;re walking on Jell-O, never quite sure if it will hold us up or when it will let us down.</p>
<p>But the truth is always rock solid, and that brings us security and peace of mind. When you tell the truth you never have to worry about remembering to whom you told what lie. Just think of how much less complicated life would be!</p>
<p>2) Peace of Mind &#8212; You&#8217;re going to be found out in the end anyway! So, you may as well tell the truth as soon as possible. Then you’re not always looking over your shoulder.</p>
<p>To paraphrase Rick Warren, &#8220;He who lacks integrity in the beginning will eventually be exposed in the end.&#8221;</p>
<p>There is a tough question in all of this. Is there a lie you’ve been torturing yourself to keep covered? I encourage you to do what may be the bravest thing you&#8217;ve ever done: ask God for the courage and strength to tell the truth.</p>
<p><strong>Point to ponder</strong>: Telling the truth brings security and peace of mind.</p>
<p><strong>Verse</strong>: <em>“The man of integrity walks securely, but he who takes crooked paths will be found out.”</em> (Proverbs 10:9)</p>
<p><strong>What will you do about it</strong>: Come clean. If you’ve been living a lie, ask God for the courage to start living the truth. Trust him for the outcome and begin living honestly.</p>
<p><strong>Prayer</strong>: Ask God to stop you from lying. Ask him to convict you whenever you begin to tell half-truths or outright lies.</p>
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Would you like someone to walk with you in your walk with God, keeping you accountable in your integrity? A mentor can help!
“The man of integrity walks securely, but he who takes crooked paths will be found out.” Proverbs 10:9
Have you noticed how[...]</itunes:subtitle>
		<itunes:summary>
Would you like someone to walk with you in your walk with God, keeping you accountable in your integrity? A mentor can help!
“The man of integrity walks securely, but he who takes crooked paths will be found out.” Proverbs 10:9
Have you noticed how your stomach turns into knots when you tell a lie?
We are dishonest for a lot of reasons: we fear how we might appear, what others might think, and how it might impact us. But, when it comes right down to it, we usually lie because we think it will make things &#8220;better.” We see an advantage in the lie.
But this proverb shows two practical advantages that always come with the truth.
1) Security &#8212; Without integrity we feel like we&#8217;re walking on Jell-O, never quite sure if it will hold us up or when it will let us down.
But the truth is always rock solid, and that brings us security and peace of mind. When you tell the truth you never have to worry about remembering to whom you told what lie. Just think of how much less complicated life would be!
2) Peace of Mind &#8212; You&#8217;re going to be found out in the end anyway! So, you may as well tell the truth as soon as possible. Then you’re not always looking over your shoulder.
To paraphrase Rick Warren, &#8220;He who lacks integrity in the beginning will eventually be exposed in the end.&#8221;
There is a tough question in all of this. Is there a lie you’ve been torturing yourself to keep covered? I encourage you to do what may be the bravest thing you&#8217;ve ever done: ask God for the courage and strength to tell the truth.
Point to ponder: Telling the truth brings security and peace of mind.
Verse: “The man of integrity walks securely, but he who takes crooked paths will be found out.” (Proverbs 10:9)
What will you do about it: Come clean. If you’ve been living a lie, ask God for the courage to start living the truth. Trust him for the outcome and begin living honestly.
Prayer: Ask God to stop you from lying. Ask him to convict you whenever you begin to tell half-truths or outright lies.</itunes:summary>
		<itunes:keywords>Devotional</itunes:keywords>
		<itunes:author>blogadmin@truthmedia.com</itunes:author>
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		<title>Walking with Integrity</title>
		<link>http://powertochange.com/blogposts/2011/04/13/walking-with-integrity-2/</link>
		<comments>http://powertochange.com/blogposts/2011/04/13/walking-with-integrity-2/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 13 Apr 2011 08:00:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><a href="http://powertochange.com/blogposts/author/tholladay/">Tom Holladay</a></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[BreakThroughPrayer Mens Daily Devotionals]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Devotional]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Devotional For Men]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[faith]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[God]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[honestly]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[integrity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jesus Christ]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Men]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[peace]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[prayer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rick Warren]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[security]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tom holladay]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[truth]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://powertochange.com/?p=26459</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Do you know someone who is going through a time of wilderness in their spiritual life? Perhaps they could benefit from talking with a mentor online. “The man of integrity walks securely, but he who takes crooked paths will be found out.” Proverbs 10:9 Have you noticed how your stomach turns into knots when you tell [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-17554" title="devo-interact-icon-42x42" src="http://powertochange.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/devo-interact-icon-42x42.jpg" alt="devo-interact-icon-42x42" width="42" height="42" align="left" /><em>Do you know someone who is going through a time of wilderness in their spiritual life? Perhaps they could benefit from <a href="http://powertochange.com/blogs/experience/devotionalformen/page/experience/talk-to-a-mentor/">talking with a mentor online</a>.</em></p>
<p><em>“The man of integrity walks securely, but he who takes crooked paths will be found out.”</em> Proverbs 10:9</p>
<p><strong>Have you noticed how your stomach turns into knots when you tell a lie?</strong></p>
<p>We are dishonest for a lot of reasons: we fear how we might appear, what others might think, and how it might impact us. But, when it comes right down to it, we usually lie because we think it will make things “better.” We see an advantage in the lie.</p>
<p>But this proverb shows two practical advantages that always come with the truth.</p>
<p><strong>1) Security</strong> &#8211; Without integrity we feel like we’re walking on Jell-O, never quite sure if it will hold us up or when it will let us down.</p>
<p>But the truth is always rock solid, and that brings us security and peace of mind. When you tell the truth you never have to worry about remembering to whom you told what lie. Just think of how much less complicated life would be!</p>
<p><strong>2) Peace of Mind</strong> &#8211; You’re going to be found out in the end anyway! So, you may as well tell the truth as soon as possible. Then you’re not always looking over your shoulder.</p>
<p>To paraphrase Rick Warren, “He who lacks integrity in the beginning will eventually be exposed in the end.”</p>
<p>There is a tough question in all of this. <strong>Is there a lie you’ve been torturing yourself to keep covered?</strong> I encourage you to do what may be the bravest thing you’ve ever done: ask God for the courage and strength to tell the truth.</p>
<p><strong>Point to ponder</strong>: Telling the truth brings security and peace of mind.</p>
<p><strong>Verse</strong>: <em>“The man of integrity walks securely, but he who takes crooked paths will be found out.”</em> (Proverbs 10:9)</p>
<p><strong>What will you do about it</strong>: Come clean. If you’ve been living a lie, ask God for the courage to start living the truth. Trust him for the outcome and begin living honestly.</p>
<p><strong>Prayer</strong>: Ask God to stop you from lying. Ask him to convict you whenever you begin to tell half-truths or outright lies.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Lies, Lies</title>
		<link>http://powertochange.com/blogposts/2010/04/10/lies-lies-2/</link>
		<comments>http://powertochange.com/blogposts/2010/04/10/lies-lies-2/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 10 Apr 2010 09:00:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><a href="http://powertochange.com/blogposts/author/sbenner/">Suzanne Benner</a></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Devotional]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Devotional For Men]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[FamilyLife Devotionals]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[God]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lying]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Men]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Proverbs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[spirtual growth]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Suzanne Benner]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[truth]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://powertochange.com/blogposts/2010/04/10/lies-lies-2/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Our online chat room is almost always open. Feel free to drop in for our daily chats or whenever, just to talk. “There are six things the LORD hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img title="devo-interact-icon-42x42" src="http://powertochange.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/devo-interact-icon-42x42.jpg" alt="devo-interact-icon-42x42" width="42" height="42" align="left" /><em>Our <a href="../experience/chat/">online chat  room</a> is almost always open. Feel free to drop in for our daily chats  or whenever, just to talk.</p>
<p></em></p>
<p>“<em>There are six things the LORD hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers</em>.” (Proverbs 6:16 – 19, NIV)</p>
<p>When one thing gets mentioned two times in a list of seven things God hates, we’d better take notice. These verses in Proverbs tell us that God hates lying tongues.   He detests false witnesses who pour our lies.  The call to follow Jesus, to be His disciple, requires us to love the things He loves and hate the things that He hates. That includes hating lies.<br />
Often when we lie, it is because lying looks like an easier way.  We fool ourselves into thinking that no one will know. That in itself is a lie.  The Bible teaches us, “There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known.” (Matthew 10:26, NIV)</p>
<p>Although it may seem like we can get away with deception, God promises that the truth will be revealed. It may not be immediately, but every lie will be exposed.  As well, the consequences of lying &#8211; the destruction of integrity and the damage to relationships – are reasons enough to avoid it.</p>
<p>Not only does God hate lies, but Hebrews 6:18 says it is impossible for God to lie. It is against his very nature.  Because God hates lies, and because He lying is contrary to his character, we also must not lie.</p>
<p>Holy God, teach me to love what You love and hate what You hate. Wash me of all lies and falsehoods. I want to be like Jesus. Amen.</p>
<p><strong>Questions</strong>: Why are lies so destructive? How does knowing that God hates lies, keep you from lying?</p>
<p>About the Author:  <a href="http://powertochange.com/blogposts/author/sbenner/">Suzanne Benner</a></p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Lies, Lies</title>
		<link>http://powertochange.com/blogposts/2010/03/17/lies-lies/</link>
		<comments>http://powertochange.com/blogposts/2010/03/17/lies-lies/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 17 Mar 2010 09:00:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><a href="http://powertochange.com/blogposts/author/sbenner/">Suzanne Benner</a></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Devotional]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Devotional For Women]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[FamilyLife Devotionals]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bible]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Chat]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[deception]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[disciple]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[innocent blood]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lies]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[truth]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://powertochange.com/blogposts/2010/03/17/lies-lies/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Are you afraid to ask for help?  Are you trying to get away with deception? Take this lesson. Join us for our Daily Devotional Chat today in our Women’s Chatroom at 10:30 am EST. “There are six things the LORD hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><em><a href="http://powertochange.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/devo-interact-icon-42x421.jpg" rel="lightbox[19225]"><img class="alignnone size-full wp-image-18675" title="devo-interact-icon-42x42" src="http://powertochange.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/devo-interact-icon-42x421.jpg" alt="" width="42" height="42" /></a>Are you afraid to ask for help?  Are you trying to get away with deception? T<a href="http://lessons.powertochange.com/study/teenfearfood.html?section=teenfearfood">ake this lesson. </a></em></p>
<p><strong><a href=" http://thelife.com/experience/chat/room/?channel=cwt-forum">Join us for our Daily Devotional Chat</a> today in our Women’s Chatroom at 10:30 am EST.</strong></p>
<p>“There are six things the LORD hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers” (Proverbs 6:16 – 19, NIV).</p>
<p>When one thing gets mentioned two times in a list of seven things God hates, we’d better take notice. These verses in Proverbs tell us that God hates lying tongues.   He detests false witnesses who pour our lies.  The call to follow Jesus, to be His disciple, requires us to love the things He loves and hate the things that He hates. That includes hating lies.</p>
<p>Often when we lie, it is because lying looks like an easier way.  We fool ourselves into thinking that no one will know. That in itself is a lie.  The Bible teaches us, “There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known” (Matthew 10:26, NIV).</p>
<p>Although it may seem like we can get away with deception, God promises that the truth will be revealed. It may not be immediately, but every lie will be exposed.  As well, the consequences of lying &#8211; the destruction of integrity and the damage to relationships – are reasons enough to avoid it.</p>
<p>Not only does God hate lies, but Hebrews 6:18 says it is impossible for God to lie. It is against his very nature.  Because God hates lies, and because lying is contrary to his character, we also must not lie.</p>
<p><em>Holy God, teach me to love what You love and hate what You hate. Wash me of all lies and falsehoods. I want to be like Jesus. Amen.<br />
</em><br />
<strong>Questions: </strong>Why are lies so destructive? How does knowing that God hates lies, keep you from lying?</p>
<p>About the Author <a href="http://powertochange.com/blogposts/author/sbenner/">Suzanne Benner</a></p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>8</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Tears of Repentance and Forgiveness</title>
		<link>http://powertochange.com/blogposts/2010/01/17/tears-of-repentance-and-forgiveness/</link>
		<comments>http://powertochange.com/blogposts/2010/01/17/tears-of-repentance-and-forgiveness/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 17 Jan 2010 09:00:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><a href="http://powertochange.com/blogposts/author/cspurgeon/">Charles Spurgeon</a></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Devotional]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Devotional For Women]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[FamilyLife Devotionals]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[blasphemies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[charles spurgeon]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[denied]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Peter]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[repent]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Repentance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sin]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sorrow]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://powertochange.com/blogposts/2010/01/17/tears-of-repentance-and-forgiveness/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Needing to forgive someone? Finding forgiveness sets us free from binding chains. Join us in this study. Originally written by Charles H. Spurgeon, published in “Mornings &#38; Evenings,” entry for July 30th, AM. Updated to modern English by Darren Hewer, 2009. “Immediately the rooster crowed the second time. Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><em>Needing to forgive someone? Finding forgiveness sets us free from binding chains. <a href="http://mag.thelife.com/study/findfreedomforgiveness.html?section=findfreedomforgiveness">Join us in this study.</a><br />
</em><br />
Originally written by Charles H. Spurgeon, published in <em>“Mornings &amp; Evenings,”</em> entry for July 30th, AM.</p>
<p>Updated to modern English by Darren Hewer, 2009.</p>
<p>“Immediately the rooster crowed the second time. Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken to him: “Before the rooster crows twice you will disown me three times.” And he broke down and wept” (Mark 14:72).</p>
<p>As long as Peter lived, a fountain of tears began to flow whenever he remembered how he denied his Lord. It is not unlikely that it was so, for his sin was very great, and grace granted to him afterwards was even greater.</p>
<p>This same experience is common to all of God’s children; according to the degree the Holy Spirit has removed your natural heart of stone. We, like Peter, remember our boastful promises: “Even if everyone else deserts you, I will never desert you.” (Matthew 26:33, NLT). We eat our own words with the bitter herbs of repentance. When we think of how we promised we would act, and how often in, overt or subtle ways, we have denied our Lord, we may weep whole showers of grief.</p>
<p>Peter must have contemplated, at length, his denial of his Lord. The place in which he did it, the reasons that led him into such heinous sin, the lies and blasphemies he uttered, and the dreadful hardness of heart which drove him to do so again and yet again. How can we, when we are reminded of our misdeeds, and their exceeding sinfulness, remain indifferent and stubborn? Shouldn’t we repent of our sin, and cry to the Lord for renewed assurances of His pardoning love? May we never take a dry-eyed look at sin. Doing so threatens us on a dangerous and lonely path, with a tongue parched in the flames of hell.</p>
<p>But Peter must also have thought about his Master’s look of love. The Lord followed up the rooster’s warning voice with a cautioning look of sorrow, pity and love. That glance was never out of Peter’s mind so long as he lived. It was far more effectual than ten thousand sermons would have been without the Holy Spirit. The regretful apostle would be sure to weep when he recollected the Savior’s full forgiveness, which restored him to his former place. (John 21:15-19)</p>
<p>To think that we have offended so kind and good a Lord is more than sufficient reason for being constant weepers, both out of sorrowful repentance and at the same time joyful, thankful forgiveness. Lord, smite our rocky hearts, and make the waters flow.</p>
<p><strong>Questions: </strong>When you look at the world, what issues bring you sadness? What about within your own life?</p>
<p>About this Author <a href="http://powertochange.com/experience/devotionalformen/authors/charles-spurgeon/">Charles Spurgeon </a></p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<item>
		<title>Deceit</title>
		<link>http://powertochange.com/blogposts/2009/06/03/deceit-2/</link>
		<comments>http://powertochange.com/blogposts/2009/06/03/deceit-2/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 03 Jun 2009 10:00:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><a href="http://powertochange.com/blogposts/author/sbenner/">Suzanne Benner</a></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Devotional]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Devotional For Women]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[FamilyLife Devotionals]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[accept responsibility]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bombarded]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[deceit]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[disobedience]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jeremiah]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Suzanne Benner]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[truth]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[unfulfilling marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[worth]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thelife.com/?p=15703</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Do you believe lies? Do you have a difficult time facing the truth? Talk to one of our mentors. Join us for our Daily Devotional Chat today in our Women’s Chatroom at 10:30 am EDT. “A horrible and shocking thing has happened in the land: The prophets prophesy lies, the priests rule by their own [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><em>Do you believe lies? Do you have a difficult time facing the truth? <a href=" http://christianwomentoday.com/chat/askus.html">Talk to one of our mentors.</a><br />
</em><a href="http://thelife.com/experience/chat/room/?channel=cwt-forum"><br />
</a><strong><a href="http://thelife.com/experience/chat/room/?channel=cwt-forum">Join us for our Daily Devotional Chat</a> today in our Women’s Chatroom at 10:30 am EDT. </strong></p>
<p>“A horrible and shocking thing has happened in the land: The prophets prophesy lies, the priests rule by their own authority, and my people love it this way” (Jeremiah 5:30, 31).</p>
<p>Today, as in Jeremiah’s day, we are bombarded with lies and surrounded by deceit. Unfortunately, we too sometimes decide we like it that way. The truth reveals our sinfulness. At times we would rather have people lie to us than have our mistakes, failures and willful disobedience exposed. Facing the truth would mean we’d have to change our actions, accept responsibility, humble ourselves and repent.</p>
<p>Over and over Jeremiah points out this error:</p>
<p>“But look, you are trusting in deceptive words that are worthless”(Jeremiah 7:8).</p>
<p>“They cling to deceit; they refuse to return” (Jeremiah 8:5).</p>
<p>“Friend deceives friend, and no one speaks the truth. They have taught their tongues to lie; they weary themselves with sinning” (Jeremiah 9:5).</p>
<p>Some of the lies the world promotes are subtle, whereas others are blatant. Things like:</p>
<ul>
<li>The worth of a human being can be measured by their beauty, their abilities or their wealth.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Truth is relative.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>You’ve got to look out for number one.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>It’s okay as long as I don’t get caught.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>If you buy these clothes you will have friends.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>If you live in this neighborhood you will be content.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Leaving an unfulfilling marriage will make you happy.</li>
</ul>
<p>Let us heed Jeremiah’s warnings, acknowledge that we have believed lies, repent of our sin and return to God’s ways.</p>
<p><em>Holy God, You alone are the One whom I need. I have believed lies. I acknowledge that I have done wrong and need Your forgiveness. It is frightening to be exposed by the truth. Help me to trust that You will not leave me. Amen.</em><br />
<strong><br />
Questions:</strong> Why do we like to believe lies? What deceptive words have proved worthless to you?</p>
<p>About the Author <a href="http://talk.thelife.com/experience/devotionalforwomen/authors/suzanne-benner/ ">Suzanne Benner </a></p>
<p><em>Daily audio podcast: A second daily devotional, <a href="http://thelife.com/blogs/experience/devotionalformen/2009/06/03/believe-and-be-saved/">Believe and Be Saved</a>, today on the Men’s Devotional Blog</em></p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>A Real Look at Pornography: Part 1</title>
		<link>http://powertochange.com/students/sexandlove/porn/</link>
		<comments>http://powertochange.com/students/sexandlove/porn/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 18 Dec 2008 20:55:43 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><a href="http://powertochange.com/blogposts/author/gmcconnell/">Gene McConnell</a></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Sex and Love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Students]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[addiction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[affair]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[God]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[intimacy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Men]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[porn]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pornography]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[truth]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Women]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thelife.com/students/sexandlove/porn/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[A look at what sex in porn really is, the lies, the symptoms of addiction, the truth and how to break free.  Sex, love &#038; relationships in college and university.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://thelife.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/porn.jpg" rel="lightbox[4636]"><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-11586" style="border: 2px solid white;" title="porn" src="http://thelife.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/porn.jpg" alt="" width="290" height="220" /></a></p>
<p><a href="http://www.facebook.com/posted.php?id=39420514563&amp;success#/pages/Life-in-Residence/39420514563"><img class="alignnone size-full wp-image-12803" title="facebook" src="http://thelife.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/n10381469571_770783_51051.jpg" alt="facebook" width="144" height="44" /></a></p>
<p><em><strong>Are you a “starving student living in rez? Check out <a href="http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/pages/Life-in-Residence/39420514563?ref=ts">Life in Residence</a> on Facebook and see other students have to say </strong></em><em><strong>about campus living.</strong></em></p>
<p><em><strong> </strong></em>On a cold, dark night, there&#8217;s nothing better than a blazing fire in the fireplace. You can pile on the wood and let it burn nice and warm. It&#8217;s safe, warm, relaxing and romantic.</p>
<p>Now take that same fire out of the fireplace (which was built for it) and drop it in the middle of the living room. Suddenly it becomes destructive. It can burn down the whole house and kill everyone inside.</p>
<p><strong>Sex is like that fire.</strong> As long as it&#8217;s expressed in the protective commitment of a marriage relationship, its wonderful, warm and romantic. But porn takes sex outside that context.</p>
<p><strong>A Big Business</strong><br />
According to the <em>New York Times,</em> there were 11,000 porn video titles last year verses 400 movie releases from Hollywood last year 70,000 pornographic web sites. (May 20, 2001, &#8220;Naked Capitalists&#8221;).</p>
<p>Porn is a big business that makes a lot of money and doesn&#8217;t care how. Porn will show you whatever they think will make you come back and buy more.</p>
<p><strong>Porn&#8217;s Image of Sex</strong><br />
One of the most vital parts of our mental environment is a healthy idea of who we are sexually. If these ideas are polluted, a critical part of who we are becomes twisted.</p>
<p>The porn culture tells you that sex, love and intimacy are all the same thing. In porn, people have sex with total strangers &#8212; people they just met. Porn communicates the attitude of &#8220;All that matters is my satisfaction. It doesn&#8217;t matter whose body I&#8217;m using, as long as I get it.&#8221; Porn communicates the message that sex is something you can have anytime, anywhere, with anyone, with no consequences.</p>
<p><strong>What Sex is Really About</strong><br />
Porn&#8217;s outlook is obtuse and shallow. Relationships are not built on sex, but on  commitment, caring and mutual trust. In that context, like fire in the fireplace, sex is wonderful. What makes sex really great is being with someone who loves and accepts you, someone who is committed to you for your whole lives together, someone you can give yourself completely to.</p>
<p><strong>The Lies of Porn</strong><br />
You can&#8217;t learn the truth about sex from pornography. It doesn&#8217;t deal in truth. Pornography is not made to educate, but to sell. Therefore, pornography will tell whatever it wants and needs to attract and hold the audience. Porn thrives on lies &#8212; lies about sex, women, marriage and a lot of other things.</p>
<p>A closer look at these lies can shed light on the negative messages communicated and how they are influencing and degrading the lives and attitudes of those consuming pornography.</p>
<ul>
<li><strong>Lie #1 &#8211; Women are less than human</strong><br />
The women in Playboy magazine are called &#8220;bunnies,&#8221; making them cute little animals or &#8220;playmates,&#8221; making them a toy. Penthouse magazine calls them &#8220;pets.&#8221; Porn often refers to women as animals, playthings, or body parts. Some pornography shows only the body or the genitals and doesn&#8217;t show the face at all.</p>
<p>The idea that women are real human beings with thoughts and emotions is played down.</li>
<li><strong>Lie #2 &#8211; Women are a &#8220;sport&#8221;</strong><br />
Some sports magazines have a &#8220;swimsuit&#8221; issue. This suggests that women are just some kind of sport. Porn views sex as a game and in a game, you have to &#8220;win,&#8221; &#8220;conquer,&#8221; or &#8220;score.&#8221; Men who buy into this view like to talk about &#8220;scoring&#8221; with women. They start judging their manhood by how many &#8220;conquests&#8221; they can make.</p>
<p>This encourages men to adopt the attitude &#8220;Each woman I &#8216;score&#8217; with is another trophy on my shelf, another &#8216;notch&#8217; in my belt to validate my masculinity.&#8221;</li>
<li><strong>Lie #3 &#8211; Women are property</strong><br />
We&#8217;ve all seen the pictures of the slick car with the sexy girl draped over it. The unspoken message, &#8220;Buy one, and you get them both.&#8221; Hard-core porn carries this even further. It displays women like merchandise in a catalog, exposing them as openly as possible for the customer to look at.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s not surprising that many young men think that if they have spent some money taking a girl out, they have a right to have sex with her. Porn tells us that women can be bought.<br />
<strong><br />
</strong></li>
<li><strong>Lie #4 &#8211; A woman&#8217;s value depends on the attractiveness of her body</strong><br />
Less attractive women are ridiculed in porn. They are called dogs, whales, pigs or worse, simply because they don&#8217;t fit into porn&#8217;s criteria of the &#8220;perfect&#8221; woman.</p>
<p>Porn doesn&#8217;t care about a woman&#8217;s mind or personality, only her body.</li>
<li><strong>Lie #5 &#8211; Women like rape</strong><br />
&#8220;When she says no, she means yes&#8221; is a typical porn scenario. Women are shown being raped, fighting and kicking at first, and then starting to like it.</p>
<p>Porn teaches its consumers that enjoying hurting and abusing women for entertainment is acceptable.</li>
<li><strong>Lie #6 &#8211; Women should be degraded</strong><br />
Porn is often full of hate speech against women. Women are shown being tortured and humiliated in hundreds of sick ways and begging for more.</p>
<p>Does this kind of treatment show any respect for women? Any love? Or is it hatred and contempt that porn is promoting toward women?</li>
<li><strong>Lie #7 &#8211; Little kids should have sex</strong><br />
One of the biggest sellers in pornography is imitation &#8220;child&#8221; porn. The women are &#8220;made-up&#8221; to look like little girls by wearing pony tails, little girl shoes, holding a teddy bear.</p>
<p>The message of the images and cartoons is that adults having sex with kids is okay. This sets the porn user up to see children in a sexual way.</li>
<li><strong>Lie #8 &#8211; Illegal sex is fun</strong><br />
Porn often has illegal or dangerous elements thrown in to make sex more &#8220;interesting.&#8221; It suggests that you can&#8217;t enjoy sex if it isn&#8217;t weird, illegal or dangerous.</li>
<li><strong>Lie #9 &#8211; Prostitution is glamorous</strong><br />
Porn paints an exciting picture of prostitution. In reality, many of the women portrayed in pornographic material are runaway girls trapped in a life of slavery, many having been sexually abused. Some of them are infected with incurable sexually transmitted diseases that are highly contagious and often die very young. Many take drugs just to cope.</li>
</ul>
<p><strong>Bottom Line</strong><br />
Pornography makes a profit from the ruined lives of young women and entraps men who will spend much time AND money succumbing to their product.</p>
<p><a href="www.thelife.com/students/sexandlove/porn2"><strong>Continue page 2</strong>&gt;&gt; The power of images and how to tell if someone&#8217;s addicted&gt;&gt;</a> 1.<strong><a href="www.thelife.com/students/sexandlove/porn2">2</a></strong>.<strong><a href="www.thelife.com/students/sexandlove/porn3">3</a></strong></p>
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		</item>
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		<title>A Real Look at Pornography: Part 2</title>
		<link>http://powertochange.com/students/sexandlove/porn2/</link>
		<comments>http://powertochange.com/students/sexandlove/porn2/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 18 Dec 2008 20:54:41 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><a href="http://powertochange.com/blogposts/author/gmcconnell/">Gene McConnell</a></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Sex and Love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Students]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[addiction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[affair]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[God]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[intimacy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Men]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[porn]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pornography]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[truth]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Women]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thelife.com/students/sexandlove/porn2/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[A look at what sex in porn really is, the lies, the symptoms of addiction, the truth and how to break free.  Sex, love &#038; relationships in college and university.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://thelife.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/porn3.jpg" rel="lightbox[4773]"><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-11590" title="porn3" src="http://thelife.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/porn3.jpg" alt="" width="290" height="220" /></a><strong>The Power of Images</strong></p>
<p><strong>Images affect us &#8212; both positively and negatively.</strong> It&#8217;s dumb to think that the things we see and hear don&#8217;t affect us. We all admit that good music, good movies and good books add a lot to our lives. They can relax us, educate us, move us or inspire us. Obviously, good images do good things to us. It&#8217;s not a far stretch to believe that bad images can do negative things to us.</p>
<p><strong>Images can also persuade us.</strong> Businesses know that if they can get a persuasive image of their product in front of you during a highly emotional moment, it will sink into your subconscious mind. The advertising scientists are very deliberate at what they do, and they do everything they can to persuade you to buy their product if you see their ad.</p>
<p>Sometimes, viewers don&#8217;t even see the name of the product. Reeses Pieces paid a huge price just to have their candy shown for a few seconds in the movie &#8220;ET,&#8221; and sales of Reeses Pieces skyrocketed. Why? Because the emotions connected with watching that small boy reaching out to the alien were transferred to the visual image of the candy. If a split second view of a product &#8212; even when it&#8217;s not the center of attention &#8212; can affect people&#8217;s behavior, imagine the effect of a movie that keeps your attention glued to the screen for an hour and a half with sexually explicit images.</p>
<p><strong>What effect can this have on a man?</strong><br />
What kinds of ideas is porn putting into our heads? If the wrong things keep getting dumped in, your mental environment can get polluted enough to raise problems in your life. One of the most vital parts of mental environment is a healthy idea of who we are sexually. If these ideas are polluted, a critical part of who we are becomes twisted.</p>
<p><strong>Addiction&#8211;The Pull of Porn</strong><br />
Not everyone who sees porn will become addicted. Some will just come away with toxic ideas about women, sex, marriage, and children. However, some will have some kind of emotional opening that allows the addiction to really grab hold. The porn companies don&#8217;t mind at all if you become completely addicted to their product. It&#8217;s great for business.</p>
<p>Dr. Victor Cline has divided the progress of addiction into several stages; addiction, escalation, desensitization, and acting out. For porn addicts, I&#8217;ve found that there is another stage that comes first &#8212; early exposure. Let&#8217;s look at these stages:</p>
<ol>
<li><strong>Early exposure.</strong> Most guys who get addicted to porn start early. They see porn when they are very young and it gets its foot in the door.</li>
<li><strong>Addiction.</strong> You then keep coming back to porn. It becomes a regular part of your life. You become hooked and can&#8217;t quit.</li>
<li><strong>Escalation.</strong> You start to look for more graphic pornography and start using porn that disgusted you earlier. Now, it excites you.</li>
<li><strong>Desensitization.</strong> You start to become numb to the images you see. Even the most graphic porn doesn&#8217;t excite you any more. You become desperate to feel the same thrill again, but you can&#8217;t find it.</li>
<li><strong>Acting out sexually.</strong> This is the point where men make a crucial jump and start acting out the images they have seen. Some move from the paper and plastic images of porn into the real world, with real people, in destructive ways.</li>
</ol>
<p><strong>Am I Addicted?</strong><br />
If you see any of these patterns in your life, you need to put the brakes on right now. Is porn becoming more and more in control of your life? Do you have trouble putting it down? Do you keep going back for more?</p>
<p><strong>What Can I Do?</strong><br />
The first thing to do is admit that you struggle with pornography. Believe me, you are not strange or unusual if you do. Millions of men are at various stages in the struggle with porn. It&#8217;s really not surprising.</p>
<p>The porn industry has spent billions of dollars trying to snare you. Is it really shocking that they have succeeded? For some of you there may also be issues in your past, such as abuse or sexual exposure, that makes porn addiction even harder to shake. There is only so much you can do in fighting addiction without help.</p>
<p><strong>You need someone to help you break this addiction. </strong>Overcoming the secrecy is absolutely vital. You probably can&#8217;t escape addiction without it. That doesn&#8217;t mean everyone has to know you&#8217;re struggling. Pick someone you can trust who counsels men who are having problems with addiction &#8212; a counselor, youth group leader or pastor. Someone you can completely trust, feel safe with and has experience in the area of addiction isn&#8217;t going to be surprised.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.thelife.com/students/sexandlove/porn3"><strong>Continue page 3</strong>&gt;&gt; Is there any freedom? What does God have to do with freedom from porn?</a> <strong><a href="http://www.thelife.com/students/sexandlove/porn">1</a></strong>.2.<a href="http://www.thelife.com/students/sexandlove/porn3"><strong>3</strong></a></p>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>A Real Look at Pornography: Part 3</title>
		<link>http://powertochange.com/students/sexandlove/porn3/</link>
		<comments>http://powertochange.com/students/sexandlove/porn3/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 18 Dec 2008 20:00:37 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><a href="http://powertochange.com/blogposts/author/gmcconnell/">Gene McConnell</a></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Sex and Love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Students]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[addiction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[break]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[college]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[lies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thelife.com/?page_id=7358</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Is There Any Freedom? Pornography entraps you with lies. In contrast, God can lead us into truth. Jesus said, &#8220;If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.&#8221;{1} Those who heard Jesus say this were offended and countered, &#8220;We have [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://thelife.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/porn5.jpg" rel="lightbox[7358]"><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-11592" title="porn5" src="http://thelife.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/porn5.jpg" alt="" /></a><strong>Is There Any Freedom?</strong></p>
<p>Pornography entraps you with lies. In contrast, God can lead us into truth.</p>
<p>Jesus said, &#8220;If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.&#8221;{1} Those who heard Jesus say this were offended and countered, &#8220;We have never been slaves of anyone, how can you say that we shall be set free?&#8221;{2} And Jesus explained that people are enslaved to sin, but that He can set you free.{3}</p>
<p>Sin not only enslaves us, but it distances us from God. And no one is perfect. No one is righteous in God&#8217;s eyes. Instead we&#8217;re told that &#8220;We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way.&#8221;{4}</p>
<p>We all deserve God&#8217;s judgment and punishment. Yet God, who is holy and loving, provided a solution for our sin, so that we would not have to be justly condemned. He personally took the punishment for our sin on Himself. Jesus Christ, the Son of God, was tortured and died on the cross for our sin so that we could be forgiven. Three days later Jesus rose from the dead, just as He said He would.</p>
<p>And He now offers you a relationship with Him. One of the most amazing statements in the Bible is this one, &#8220;If we confess our sin, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sin and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.&#8221;{5}</p>
<p><strong>The Most Important Relationship</strong><br />
In your search for intimacy and love, pornography is an empty substitute for real love. We have been created by God to have our intimacy needs met most deeply by God Himself. &#8220;For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.&#8221;{6}</p>
<p>In contrast to the darkness and destruction that pornography can bring to people&#8217;s lives, Jesus said, &#8220;I came that they might have life, and have it more abundantly.&#8221;{7}</p>
<p>God offers you his forgiveness through a relationship with Him. Do you want to ask Him to forgive you and come into your life? You can tell Him right now. If you need help putting this into words, here is a prayer that might help:</p>
<p><em>&#8220;Lord Jesus, I am aware of my sin, and I know that you are also. I ask you to forgive me and cleanse me. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins. I ask you to come into my life right now and begin to work in my life. Direct my life as you see fit. Thank you for your forgiveness and for coming into my life right now.&#8221;</em></p>
<p><strong>Take a next step:<a href="http://powertochange.com/sex-love/sexaddiction/"><br />
</a></strong><a href="http://powertochange.com/sex-love/sexaddiction/">Sex Addiction </a>   <a href="http://powertochange.com/itv/family/why-cant-i-look-at-porn"><br />
Why Can’t I Look at Porn? </a></p>
<p><a href=" http://www.thelife.com/students/sexandlove/porn3"><strong>Back to start</strong>&gt;&gt; What porn really is</a> <strong><a href=" http://www.thelife.com/students/sexandlove/porn">1</a></strong>.<strong><a href=" http://www.thelife.com/students/sexandlove/porn2">2</a></strong>.3</p>
<p><em>This article is courtesy of AuthenticRelationships.com. Reprinted with permission of the author.</em></p>
<hr />
<p>God created us for relationship &#8212; with him and with others. Life as a Christian is not meant to be lived alone. Share your step of faith of asking the Spirit to fill you with someone you trust and know. <strong>Please let us know about your decision</strong> <strong>&#8211; we have a team of email mentors ready to help you and we want to</strong> <strong>offer you free resources </strong>for your spiritual growth.</p>
<p>Use the form below to send us your questions, comments and concerns (or if you simply need a friend to talk to or need help getting connected to a church). We will reply to you privately via email and do all that we can to help you on your journey in learning more about Jesus and following him as a Christian.</p>
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		<title>When All Else Fails, Tell the Truth</title>
		<link>http://powertochange.com/experience/spiritual-growth/telltruth/</link>
		<comments>http://powertochange.com/experience/spiritual-growth/telltruth/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 14 Oct 2008 20:05:54 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><a href="http://powertochange.com/blogposts/author/karenschenk/">K Schenk</a></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Culture]]></category>
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		<description><![CDATA[I’ve had experiences where I decided it was just too difficult to tell the truth and to address an issue.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://thelife.com:80/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/telltruth.jpg" rel="lightbox[9051]"><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-9055" title="telltruth" src="http://thelife.com:80/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/telltruth.jpg" alt="" /></a><em>“Is something wrong”?</em> It was a simple question but left me with a choice. I could lie or tell the truth.</p>
<p>I was afraid of hurting or even losing a friendship if I answered that question with the truth. The easiest thing I could do was respond and say, “no, everything is fine”. I knew that if I did not address the issue, I would begin to withdraw from that relationship.</p>
<p>I felt betrayed and my trust had been greatly shattered. I knew that unless I would take a risk toward resolution, or friendship would be forever altered.</p>
<p>I decided to face the fear and address the issue. My friend became angry, but not at me, but at the fact that she had been misrepresented by a peer. The situation was entirely different than had been portrayed to me. She apologized and our relationship was deepened.</p>
<p><strong>I’ve had experiences where I decided it was just too difficult to tell the truth</strong> and to address an issue. I never consider that I would be actually telling a lie when I avoid conflict and indicate that everything is fine. It’s frustrated me that it is so difficult to say, “no, things are not fine, but I’m not comfortable to discuss it right now”.</p>
<p><strong>Telling the truth to your colleagues</strong></p>
<p>In the workplace, I am faced with opportunities every day to address issues with the truth or to make the choice to provide glib responses that really are lies. A quick and glib response has the potential to “seal your fate” with your colleagues.</p>
<p>When asked your opinion, a quick “that looks great” can make it very awkward for you to give corrective points later. You may end up with a project that you really wish you had taken the time to be honest about. I’ve learned to say “I’m not able to give that the time it needs now. I will get back to you.” This gives me time to come up with a response that I’m comfortable giving.</p>
<p>As a manager, you may have some concerns about a staff member. There are times that our silence communicates our approval. It’s not <em>really</em> a lie, but then we are not really communicating the truth either.</p>
<p>When we don’t address issues, we are not really helping the people around us. As a parent, there are countless times that my silence has indicated that I’m ok with my teen’s choices. I find it much easier to correct my teen than I do a colleague. It’s made me wonder why it is so much harder when I communicate with friends and colleagues than my children.</p>
<p>As we desire to speak the truth to others, we need to realize that there are times <strong>we have a clouded perception that alters our ability to discern the truth from lies.</strong> We may have limited information and with that information, we form a perspective. This opens the door to a very clouded perception to which we can be very reactive. Take time to investigate the facts. There may be a lot more to the situation.</p>
<p><strong>Why the truth is impossible to speak at times</strong></p>
<p>As believers, we are committed to truth. We believe that the “truth will set you free”. Why is it that we go to such great lengths to avoid the truth? Below are a few reasons I’ve come across.</p>
<ol>
<li><strong>The cost is too high.</strong> When we speak absolute truth, we fear rejection, persecution and even monetary cost. It’s easier to dilute our words and not risk as much.</li>
<li><strong>We are afraid.</strong> Fear can paralyze us in so many ways. We may not even fully understand the reason for our fear but it is easier to play it safe.</li>
<li><strong>Its not culturally accepted to speak the truth.</strong> People really do want to hear that you are fine and that all is well. We are a hurried culture and usually don’t have the time to listen to the true matters of the heart. Knowing that the truth is not accepted teaches us to speak in a way that we feel others will accept.</li>
<li><strong>We don’t know how to speak truthfully about difficult things in a diplomatic way.</strong> We’ve never been taught to address issues with a gentle truth. We often feel we need to be brutally honest and that can have harsh results.</li>
</ol>
<p><strong>A polished delivery</strong></p>
<p>Jesus desires for me to speak the truth in love and He desires to equip me with all I need to<strong> speak the truth and deliver it gently. </strong></p>
<p>It sounds so simple, but it really isn’t.</p>
<p>Many years ago, I had a friend come to me and ask, “can I tell you some things that bother me about you?” Being a glutton for punishment, I said “yes”. The next two hours I listened in horror as every characteristic about me was torn to sheds. It took a long while for me come to grips with the fact that this person had a very altered perception of what she referred to as her “gift of exhortation”. She contacted me several years later and apologized profusely for a very distorted perception and told me that she had been going through a lot of hurt and used that meeting as an opportunity to lash out.</p>
<p>When you are faced with the opportunity to tell the truth to others, you should ask the question, “is this helpful or harmful”? <strong>It always takes more time to prepare for a gentle delivery than a frontal attack.</strong></p>
<p>The gentle delivery is practical. It gives next steps. It is affirming in its approach. A conversation which says, “when you ____, I feel ____” does not attack. A helpful comment can start with affirmation. “You have a great way of connecting with people. I was thinking of ways that you could even help others more. “</p>
<p>Think carefully about how your words are beneficial to others.</p>
<p><strong>Free from lies</strong></p>
<p>When we learn to live by <a href="http://thelife.com/experience/spiritual-growth/truth/" target="_blank">the truth</a>, it has the amazing ability to set us free. The fear of rejection will dissipate when you begin to see the rewards of telling the truth and deliver it softly. We need to become aware that we are often not speaking the truth, then we can learn to speak it with the love that God intended.</p>
<p><strong>Want to experience more?<br />
</strong><a href="http://thelife.com/experience/spiritual-growth/anorexia/" target="_self">Karen&#8217;s story</a><br />
<a href="http://thelife.com/experience/spiritual-growth/spiritfilledlife/" target="_self">Live a Spirit-filled life</a><br />
<a href="http://thelife.com/experience/spiritual-growth/hurtingchurch/" target="_self">The hurting church</a><a href="http://mag.thelife.com/study/angrywithoutsinning.htmll?section=angrywithoutsin" target="_blank"></a><strong><a href="http://mag.thelife.com/study/angrywithoutsinning.htmll?section=angrywithoutsin" target="_blank"><br />
</a></strong></p>
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