“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”  (John 16:33)

We have this idea that if God is with us, He’ll protect us from trouble. He’ll work things out for us. When bad things do happen, we conclude that God has left us. He’s abandoned us. But this is not true.

On this broken, sinful planet bad things do happen to all people. Jesus promised us this: “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

Jesus didn’t promise us a carefree life. He didn’t come to explain suffering or to remove it. He came to fill it with His presence. And that makes all the difference. When you know Jesus is with you– walking with you every step of the way– it makes the difference between despair and hope.

There have been times in my life when I felt I was losing everything I value: my marriage, my family, my reputation, my health and my job. Then I would hear Jesus’ voice, not out loud but distinctly in my heart,
“Don’t be afraid. I am here and I can handle it. Trust me.”

Now looking back, I can honestly say it was good for me to experience suffering and loss. It provided an opportunity to experience God in a very real and practical way. I’m a much richer person. Life has a quality it didn’t have before. I can testify that when you have Christ, no matter what you’re going through, you won’t have to do it alone.

Jesus did not come to make us escapists, but overcomers.

Thank you, Jesus, that we can always depend on You to be there for us and to give us what we need to be overcomers. Amen.

Question: Are you struggling through a time of suffering and loss? God wants to be near you during this time. How can you let God meet you in your pain?

I could see the fear and apprehension written so clearly on their faces when I went in the room to introduce myself. I tried to be encouraging as I asked questions concerning the pregnancy and assessed her condition. I too, had felt the same fear when I saw the blood present and began to pray silently that God, if it be his will, let this little one be carried full term.

My heart broke

This was not to be however. Several hours later, my heart broke when I saw the emergency light go off at the desk. Walking into the room, I learned the wife was going into labor and were about to lose their precious baby. I distinctly remember holding the patient tightly, rocking back and forth with her, tears falling down our cheeks. The sobs of her husband could be heard from the adjoining room. She was asked if she wanted to see the baby yet, and she declined.

The husband entered the small room and I knew it was time for me to leave. They needed to grieve alone. I helped the wife with her clothes and helped her back to bed. I cried all the way back to the nurse’s station.

The baby was a perfect little boy. He had everything he was supposed to have: ten tiny fingers and toes, small ears, nose and mouth. To me he appeared as if everything should have been fine. As I continued to look at him, I knew in that moment, that God had a better plan for this little guy than to suffer in this world this journey we call life. He would never have to know the heartache of losing a child, like his parents had. He would never have to suffer from a terminal illness or grow up in a world filled with temptations. He was where God wanted him to be, resting in the love and safety of God’s hand.

My hope holds on

I trust his parents will be reunited with him one day for eternity. That although they may not be with him in the present, that they will be together in the future. I hope that they too know of this perfect love from above. If not, I pray that they will discover it in this sorrowful step in their lives.

This experience, I am certain, changed them in ways they never wanted to be changed. I know this, because it changed me also. I saw the stark reality of losing a child and felt a small part of their loss. All I could do was cry. No words had been necessary and not one was spoken. Even when I returned later to check on them, silence, intermingled with quiet sobs, was all that echoed from the room.

This article is dedicated to all that have ever lost a child – whether it be one that was stillborn, or in life as they grew. God knows the tears you have shed and those that you will continue to shed. He has imprinted your hearts with a love that He too, knows very well; the love of a parent and the loss of losing a child. May He touch and comfort you with that same hand that holds your son or daughter in ways that only He can do.

Take the next step:
Unthinkable Loss: Miscarriage and Stillbirth
Starting over after a loss
Read the story of Ruth, a woman who lost a great deal and had to find the strength to start over.
Are you facing the loss of a child? We are here to talk.

I don’t know what possessed me to do it.

As the time for the trip drew near, I grew more excited. I looked forward to the trip because I dreaded the thought of staying home all summer. I had spent the last few summers taking care of my mom, who had been sick with cancer and had recently passed away. I don’t think I could have stayed home with those memories.

In the months after her death, my soul grew weary—I was literally walking in the valley of the shadow of death. But God says that when we’re in that valley, He’s with us and we need not fear. I trudged forth and climbed out somehow, but I thirsted for rest. Rest from the pain. Rest from responsibilities. Rest from school. I needed something different, something healing.

The thought of seeing somewhere green instead the dirty brown of Phoenix thrilled my senses. I also looked forward to my two classes about the history and literature of the British world but I expected in this great adventure to also include quite a bit of loneliness. Being a Christian, I knew I’d probably be different than the 40 other college students tagging along on my adventure. But God knew I wouldn’t be lonely. He had something else in mind.

Making friends and memories

I made friends instantly. Three other girls and I roomed together for almost the entire trip.  We did everything as a group – completing homework, and visiting parks in London.  We even found our way to the Irish Sea.

But these girls were quite different from me. One of them was a Taoist, the other two were agnostics. You might think we never broached the subject of religion, but it seems that every day there was a new conversation involving our beliefs.  The girls actually told me that they were amazed by me because they’d never met a Christian who would talk to them about beliefs without condemning them cruelly to hell.

Never alone

In spite of these differences in beliefs, I never felt lonely, but not because the girls were with me everywhere I went. God was there, too. Constantly. He permeated every conversation I had. I felt a calm reassurance whenever I had to negate the others’ claims or argue my own point.

Not only was He there when I was debating points with my friends, but He guided me in every experience I had. I’ve always been a person who wanted everything planned out, and as I’ve realized, the world doesn’t work that way. God stretched me that summer. I had to discover things on the fly and make decisions without knowing every consequence possible.

But the beauty of discovery was in knowing that God’s hand was pressed firmly against my back the entire time. It was just Jesus said a long time ago, “I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

God’s presence resonated in all of nature as well. As a favorite song of mine says, “Mountains bow down and the sea will roar at the sound of Your name.” Every tree, every mountain, every valley whispered to me the secrets of the glory of God. In response, my heart longed to climb to the top of one of those mountains and spin around like Maria in The Sound of Music.

Something I had feared before I went on the trip was being left in my room while my roommates went out drinking. It did happen a few times, but those times became some of my favorite evenings. I read my Bible, wrote in my journal, and spent genuine quality time with my Savior. He showed Himself to me in so many ways that summer. Verses I had never remembered reading before popped off the page.

An unexpected rejoicing

Rather than feeling sorry that I was left alone in my room, I felt so blessed to have that time with God. It was time I might not have discovered otherwise if it had not been “forced” upon me. I look back now and remember one of my favorite passages: “Rejoice in the Lord, always. I will say it again: Rejoice! … The Lord is near.” (Philippians 4:4, 5b)

My faith matured a lot in the summer of 2005.  That experience deepened my knowledge of God. I knew Him better than I ever had before and I realized more than ever that He had always known me.

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Leap of faith: As followers of Christ, we will be called to step out of our comfort zones.
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For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. (Jeremiah 29:11, KJ21)

Have you ever known someone who has had a near death experience and survived? Perhaps it was a serious disease or perhaps a narrow escape from death. Most people who have such an experience comment that they guess the Lord wasn’t finished with them yet and had something else in store for them to do.

I recalled such an experience at an early age, when recently I read about the tragic loss of life from a flash flood on the Caddo River in Caddo Gap, Arkansas. Dozens of campers were victims of a nighttime flash flood when the river rose at the rate of eight feet per hour. Many saved their lives by scaling up the steep embankments and unfortunately many did not survive.

It made me recall a time when I was a teenager and with five others drove to Colorado to camp there for a week and then camp the following week in Yellowstone National Park in Wyoming. Shortly after arriving in Colorado one of our group became seriously ill and required medical treatment, causing us to spend the entire two weeks in Colorado. It was much to my disappointment, as I wanted so much to see Yellowstone, where we had campground reservations for months in advance.

It wasn’t until we were on the way back home when we found out about the big earthquake, so strong that it reversed the flow of a river and obliterated the campground where we had reservations. Dozens of campers perished and certainly we would have been among them but for the illness that kept us in Colorado.

I was not a practicing Christian at the time, but I remember wondering what kind of adult life I had ahead of me and what I would have missed if I had been camping at Yellowstone. It was a sobering thought that had a deep and early impression on my life.

Sometimes God saves our life in ways we never know about. Sometimes we do. I have a friend who was flying from Chicago to Detroit and got to the gate just as the plane pulled back. He was angry that he was going to miss a meeting he felt he could not miss. But when he found out that the plane went down over Lake Michigan killing all aboard, suddenly his attitude changes from anger to thanks. He thought that the meeting wasn’t so important after all.

The truth is that every day we live and survive is through God’s mercy and grace. He saves our life daily so we can serve and praise Him tomorrow. Truly, our days are numbered and when we will begin eternity, we know not. But one thing we do know is that each day is a gift, to be lived for His glory and mission each day. Live today as if it were your last and then be thankful when you wake up tomorrow.

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God in every day conversations

Join the conversation with the following discussion questions:

I have questions for God, do you?  Here are some of mine . . .

 God, did you see…when a broken-hearted couple lost their three year old son to cancer and just 10 short years later were sitting in that same funeral home grieving the loss of another son?

“When Jesus saw her weeping and saw the other people wailing with her, a deep anger welled up within him, and he was deeply troubled. . .  Then Jesus wept.”  (John 11:33,35)

Lord, were you listening…when a young girl lost her innocence and cried herself to sleep night after night?

‘I keep track of all your sorrows.  I have collected all your tears in my bottle and I have recorded each one in my book.’”  (Psalm 56:8)

God, do you see…the mother who has run out of options and doesn’t know where to turn?  She’s exhausted, tapped out, and emotionally spent – her child has completely drained her.

“Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.’”   (Matthew 11:28-29)

Lord, where were you…when a family watched everything they owned burn to the ground?

“Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me.  There is more than enough room in my Father’s home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am.’”  (John 14:1-3)

Where were you, Jesus…when a loving wife and mother lost her life to an insatiable disease, and a young dad was left to pick up the pieces and care for his two little daughters?

“My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)

God sees our sorrow, He knows every tear we’ve cried and every prayer we’ve prayed. Isaiah, the prophet says this about God who became flesh and dwelt among us (Jesus).

There was nothing beautiful or majestic about his appearance,
nothing to attract us to him.

He was despised and rejected—
a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief.
We turned our backs on him and looked the other way.
He was despised, and we did not care.

Yet it was our weaknesses he carried;
it was our sorrows that weighed him down.
And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God,
a punishment for his own sins!

But he was pierced for our rebellion,
crushed for our sins.
He was beaten so we could be whole.
He was whipped so we could be healed.

                       (Isaiah 53:2-5)

God understands our pain, He hears our questions in times of great need and He answers! His greatest answer to our questions came in the person of Jesus Christ.

Romans 6:23 says, “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.”

God offers you a free gift – you cannot earn it, you are not born into the right family to receive it.  Each individual must accept God’s free gift for themselves. Each one of us has sinned and gone our own way and our just payment is eternal death.  But God sent His Son Jesus to take our punishment and die in our place!  When we acknowledge that we are a sinner and invite Christ to come into our lives and save us from our sins, we become one of His children and carry the promise of spending eternity with Him in our hearts.

If you have never accepted this free gift, I urge you not to wait.  He stands ready and waiting to come into your life and make you NEW!  Learn more about how to accept Jesus here.

Question: What are your questions for God?

Heartbreak and loss, loneliness and disappointment stand out in sharp contrast to the sparkly excitement of Christmas. An article I was reading earlier quoted Kate O’Dwyer Randall, a Chaplin, who said,

“Holidays in our culture are often about families, and families are not always happy institutions.  I think that particularly if you’re facing a death or a divorce, the ‘empty chair syndrome’ becomes very real at this time of year.”

The article went on to say that many churches now have “Longest Night” or “Blue Christmas” services.  These services offer a more subdued atmosphere to welcome those who want to acknowledge Christmas, but can’t face the ebullient joy of a well intentioned “Joy to the World!”

Christmas gets all glammed up, but at the heart of it all, it celebrates a very quiet moment.   Christmas began with a little baby in a stable.  It started with two parents who were tired from a long journey and caught off guard that the baby would choose this particular moment to be born.  It wasn’t glamorous, and it wasn’t shiny but it did mark the moment that hope came to the world.  (If you’re rusty on the details, you can read the Christmas story from the book of Luke.)

As I was reading about the Longest Night services, I found this poem by Ann Weems from her book Kneeling in Bethlehem.  Her poem sums it up perfectly:

The Christmas Spirit
Is that hope
Which tenaciously clings
To the hearts of the faithful
And announces
In the face
Of any Herod the world can produce
And all the inn doors slammed in our faces
And all the dark nights of our souls
That with God
All things are possible,
That even now
Unto us
A child is born!
~ Ann Weems

If you would like someone to talk to, we are here waiting to talk and listen. May you continue to cling tenaciously to the hope that we celebrate, even now.

Take the next step:

Read the Christmas story from the book of Luke
How to celebrate when you’re not together
Home alone for the holidays 

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”  John 3:16

On a trip to China, I rode past Tiananmen Square in a bus full of Westerners. We tried to recollect the causes and consequences of the revolt. Our knowledge of history was embarrassing. One gave one date; another gave a different one. One person remembered a certain death toll; someone else disagreed. All this time our translator remained silent.

Finally one of us asked her, “Do you remember anything about the Tiananmen Square revolt?”

Her answer was solemn. “Yes, I was a part of it.”

We quickly grew quiet as she gave firsthand recollections of the bloodshed and oppression. We listened, because she’d been there.

We who follow Christ do so for the same reason. He’s been there . . .

He’s been to Bethlehem, wearing barn rags and hearing sheep crunch. Suckling milk and shivering against the cold. All of divinity content to cocoon itself in an eight-pound body and to sleep on a cow’s supper. Millions who face the chill of empty pockets or the fears of sudden change turn to Christ. Why?

Because he’s been there.

He’s been to Nazareth, where he made deadlines and paid bills; to Galilee, where he recruited direct reports and separated fighters; to Jerusalem, where he stared down critics and stood up against cynics.

We have our Nazareths as well—demands and due dates. Jesus wasn’t the last to build a team; accusers didn’t disappear with Jerusalem’s temple. Why seek Jesus’s help with your challenges? Because he’s been there. To Nazareth, to Galilee, to Jerusalem.

But most of all, he’s been to the grave. Not as a visitor, but as a corpse. Buried amidst the cadavers. Numbered among the dead. Heart silent and lungs vacant. Body wrapped and grave sealed. The cemetery. He’s been buried there.

You haven’t yet. But you will be. And since you will, don’t you need someone who knows the way out?

From 3:16, The Numbers of Hope
Copyright (Thomas Nelson, Inc, 2007) Max Lucado
Used by permission

Question: Where can you see how Jesus faced similar difficulties to the ones you’re facing in your life now?

“Answer me when I call, O God of my righteousness! You have relieved me in my distress; Be gracious to me and hear my prayer.” Psalm 4:1, NASB

Lord, we’re desperate for you. We’re bunched up in confusion, moving by impulse and fear, flitting here and there like a frenzied flock caught in the wilderness of the far country.
We are here! We are here! And we know you hear. You’ve heard us before; you’ve swept in and saved us from our hopeless paralysis.

Do it again, O, Holy One; how long must we wait?

And we hear you say, “Yes, how long? How long must I wait while you wear my grace and peace like a cheap cloak from a secondhand store?”

Oh God, I hear your heart. You set me apart; yet, I joined the crowd – like birds of a feather.
From now on, Abba, when the swirl and twirl shoves at me, instead of taking to panicked wings; I’ll let you quiet my soul.

“I am ready now; I am willing now to be swept under the safety of your wings, as a hen gathers her chicks.” (Matthew 23:37, NKJV)

Question: Does this prayer sound like one you’ve prayed recently? What about sometime in the past?