I don’t know what possessed me to do it.

As the time for the trip drew near, I grew more excited. I looked forward to the trip because I dreaded the thought of staying home all summer. I had spent the last few summers taking care of my mom, who had been sick with cancer and had recently passed away. I don’t think I could have stayed home with those memories.

In the months after her death, my soul grew weary—I was literally walking in the valley of the shadow of death. But God says that when we’re in that valley, He’s with us and we need not fear. I trudged forth and climbed out somehow, but I thirsted for rest. Rest from the pain. Rest from responsibilities. Rest from school. I needed something different, something healing.

The thought of seeing somewhere green instead the dirty brown of Phoenix thrilled my senses. I also looked forward to my two classes about the history and literature of the British world but I expected in this great adventure to also include quite a bit of loneliness. Being a Christian, I knew I’d probably be different than the 40 other college students tagging along on my adventure. But God knew I wouldn’t be lonely. He had something else in mind.

Making friends and memories

I made friends instantly. Three other girls and I roomed together for almost the entire trip.  We did everything as a group – completing homework, and visiting parks in London.  We even found our way to the Irish Sea.

But these girls were quite different from me. One of them was a Taoist, the other two were agnostics. You might think we never broached the subject of religion, but it seems that every day there was a new conversation involving our beliefs.  The girls actually told me that they were amazed by me because they’d never met a Christian who would talk to them about beliefs without condemning them cruelly to hell.

Never alone

In spite of these differences in beliefs, I never felt lonely, but not because the girls were with me everywhere I went. God was there, too. Constantly. He permeated every conversation I had. I felt a calm reassurance whenever I had to negate the others’ claims or argue my own point.

Not only was He there when I was debating points with my friends, but He guided me in every experience I had. I’ve always been a person who wanted everything planned out, and as I’ve realized, the world doesn’t work that way. God stretched me that summer. I had to discover things on the fly and make decisions without knowing every consequence possible.

But the beauty of discovery was in knowing that God’s hand was pressed firmly against my back the entire time. It was just Jesus said a long time ago, “I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

God’s presence resonated in all of nature as well. As a favorite song of mine says, “Mountains bow down and the sea will roar at the sound of Your name.” Every tree, every mountain, every valley whispered to me the secrets of the glory of God. In response, my heart longed to climb to the top of one of those mountains and spin around like Maria in The Sound of Music.

Something I had feared before I went on the trip was being left in my room while my roommates went out drinking. It did happen a few times, but those times became some of my favorite evenings. I read my Bible, wrote in my journal, and spent genuine quality time with my Savior. He showed Himself to me in so many ways that summer. Verses I had never remembered reading before popped off the page.

An unexpected rejoicing

Rather than feeling sorry that I was left alone in my room, I felt so blessed to have that time with God. It was time I might not have discovered otherwise if it had not been “forced” upon me. I look back now and remember one of my favorite passages: “Rejoice in the Lord, always. I will say it again: Rejoice! … The Lord is near.” (Philippians 4:4, 5b)

My faith matured a lot in the summer of 2005.  That experience deepened my knowledge of God. I knew Him better than I ever had before and I realized more than ever that He had always known me.

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For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. (Jeremiah 29:11, KJ21)

Have you ever known someone who has had a near death experience and survived? Perhaps it was a serious disease or perhaps a narrow escape from death. Most people who have such an experience comment that they guess the Lord wasn’t finished with them yet and had something else in store for them to do.

I recalled such an experience at an early age, when recently I read about the tragic loss of life from a flash flood on the Caddo River in Caddo Gap, Arkansas. Dozens of campers were victims of a nighttime flash flood when the river rose at the rate of eight feet per hour. Many saved their lives by scaling up the steep embankments and unfortunately many did not survive.

It made me recall a time when I was a teenager and with five others drove to Colorado to camp there for a week and then camp the following week in Yellowstone National Park in Wyoming. Shortly after arriving in Colorado one of our group became seriously ill and required medical treatment, causing us to spend the entire two weeks in Colorado. It was much to my disappointment, as I wanted so much to see Yellowstone, where we had campground reservations for months in advance.

It wasn’t until we were on the way back home when we found out about the big earthquake, so strong that it reversed the flow of a river and obliterated the campground where we had reservations. Dozens of campers perished and certainly we would have been among them but for the illness that kept us in Colorado.

I was not a practicing Christian at the time, but I remember wondering what kind of adult life I had ahead of me and what I would have missed if I had been camping at Yellowstone. It was a sobering thought that had a deep and early impression on my life.

Sometimes God saves our life in ways we never know about. Sometimes we do. I have a friend who was flying from Chicago to Detroit and got to the gate just as the plane pulled back. He was angry that he was going to miss a meeting he felt he could not miss. But when he found out that the plane went down over Lake Michigan killing all aboard, suddenly his attitude changes from anger to thanks. He thought that the meeting wasn’t so important after all.

The truth is that every day we live and survive is through God’s mercy and grace. He saves our life daily so we can serve and praise Him tomorrow. Truly, our days are numbered and when we will begin eternity, we know not. But one thing we do know is that each day is a gift, to be lived for His glory and mission each day. Live today as if it were your last and then be thankful when you wake up tomorrow.

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God in every day conversations

Join the conversation with the following discussion questions:

I have questions for God, do you?  Here are some of mine . . .

 God, did you see…when a broken-hearted couple lost their three year old son to cancer and just 10 short years later were sitting in that same funeral home grieving the loss of another son?

“When Jesus saw her weeping and saw the other people wailing with her, a deep anger welled up within him, and he was deeply troubled. . .  Then Jesus wept.”  (John 11:33,35)

Lord, were you listening…when a young girl lost her innocence and cried herself to sleep night after night?

‘I keep track of all your sorrows.  I have collected all your tears in my bottle and I have recorded each one in my book.’”  (Psalm 56:8)

God, do you see…the mother who has run out of options and doesn’t know where to turn?  She’s exhausted, tapped out, and emotionally spent – her child has completely drained her.

“Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.’”   (Matthew 11:28-29)

Lord, where were you…when a family watched everything they owned burn to the ground?

“Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me.  There is more than enough room in my Father’s home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am.’”  (John 14:1-3)

Where were you, Jesus…when a loving wife and mother lost her life to an insatiable disease, and a young dad was left to pick up the pieces and care for his two little daughters?

“My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)

God sees our sorrow, He knows every tear we’ve cried and every prayer we’ve prayed. Isaiah, the prophet says this about God who became flesh and dwelt among us (Jesus).

There was nothing beautiful or majestic about his appearance,
nothing to attract us to him.

He was despised and rejected—
a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief.
We turned our backs on him and looked the other way.
He was despised, and we did not care.

Yet it was our weaknesses he carried;
it was our sorrows that weighed him down.
And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God,
a punishment for his own sins!

But he was pierced for our rebellion,
crushed for our sins.
He was beaten so we could be whole.
He was whipped so we could be healed.

                       (Isaiah 53:2-5)

God understands our pain, He hears our questions in times of great need and He answers! His greatest answer to our questions came in the person of Jesus Christ.

Romans 6:23 says, “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.”

God offers you a free gift – you cannot earn it, you are not born into the right family to receive it.  Each individual must accept God’s free gift for themselves. Each one of us has sinned and gone our own way and our just payment is eternal death.  But God sent His Son Jesus to take our punishment and die in our place!  When we acknowledge that we are a sinner and invite Christ to come into our lives and save us from our sins, we become one of His children and carry the promise of spending eternity with Him in our hearts.

If you have never accepted this free gift, I urge you not to wait.  He stands ready and waiting to come into your life and make you NEW!  Learn more about how to accept Jesus here.

Question: What are your questions for God?

Heartbreak and loss, loneliness and disappointment stand out in sharp contrast to the sparkly excitement of Christmas. An article I was reading earlier quoted Kate O’Dwyer Randall, a Chaplin, who said,

“Holidays in our culture are often about families, and families are not always happy institutions.  I think that particularly if you’re facing a death or a divorce, the ‘empty chair syndrome’ becomes very real at this time of year.”

The article went on to say that many churches now have “Longest Night” or “Blue Christmas” services.  These services offer a more subdued atmosphere to welcome those who want to acknowledge Christmas, but can’t face the ebullient joy of a well intentioned “Joy to the World!”

Christmas gets all glammed up, but at the heart of it all, it celebrates a very quiet moment.   Christmas began with a little baby in a stable.  It started with two parents who were tired from a long journey and caught off guard that the baby would choose this particular moment to be born.  It wasn’t glamorous, and it wasn’t shiny but it did mark the moment that hope came to the world.  (If you’re rusty on the details, you can read the Christmas story from the book of Luke.)

As I was reading about the Longest Night services, I found this poem by Ann Weems from her book Kneeling in Bethlehem.  Her poem sums it up perfectly:

The Christmas Spirit
Is that hope
Which tenaciously clings
To the hearts of the faithful
And announces
In the face
Of any Herod the world can produce
And all the inn doors slammed in our faces
And all the dark nights of our souls
That with God
All things are possible,
That even now
Unto us
A child is born!
~ Ann Weems

If you would like someone to talk to, we are here waiting to talk and listen. May you continue to cling tenaciously to the hope that we celebrate, even now.

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Read the Christmas story from the book of Luke
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Home alone for the holidays 

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”  John 3:16

On a trip to China, I rode past Tiananmen Square in a bus full of Westerners. We tried to recollect the causes and consequences of the revolt. Our knowledge of history was embarrassing. One gave one date; another gave a different one. One person remembered a certain death toll; someone else disagreed. All this time our translator remained silent.

Finally one of us asked her, “Do you remember anything about the Tiananmen Square revolt?”

Her answer was solemn. “Yes, I was a part of it.”

We quickly grew quiet as she gave firsthand recollections of the bloodshed and oppression. We listened, because she’d been there.

We who follow Christ do so for the same reason. He’s been there . . .

He’s been to Bethlehem, wearing barn rags and hearing sheep crunch. Suckling milk and shivering against the cold. All of divinity content to cocoon itself in an eight-pound body and to sleep on a cow’s supper. Millions who face the chill of empty pockets or the fears of sudden change turn to Christ. Why?

Because he’s been there.

He’s been to Nazareth, where he made deadlines and paid bills; to Galilee, where he recruited direct reports and separated fighters; to Jerusalem, where he stared down critics and stood up against cynics.

We have our Nazareths as well—demands and due dates. Jesus wasn’t the last to build a team; accusers didn’t disappear with Jerusalem’s temple. Why seek Jesus’s help with your challenges? Because he’s been there. To Nazareth, to Galilee, to Jerusalem.

But most of all, he’s been to the grave. Not as a visitor, but as a corpse. Buried amidst the cadavers. Numbered among the dead. Heart silent and lungs vacant. Body wrapped and grave sealed. The cemetery. He’s been buried there.

You haven’t yet. But you will be. And since you will, don’t you need someone who knows the way out?

From 3:16, The Numbers of Hope
Copyright (Thomas Nelson, Inc, 2007) Max Lucado
Used by permission

Question: Where can you see how Jesus faced similar difficulties to the ones you’re facing in your life now?

“Answer me when I call, O God of my righteousness! You have relieved me in my distress; Be gracious to me and hear my prayer.” Psalm 4:1, NASB

Lord, we’re desperate for you. We’re bunched up in confusion, moving by impulse and fear, flitting here and there like a frenzied flock caught in the wilderness of the far country.
We are here! We are here! And we know you hear. You’ve heard us before; you’ve swept in and saved us from our hopeless paralysis.

Do it again, O, Holy One; how long must we wait?

And we hear you say, “Yes, how long? How long must I wait while you wear my grace and peace like a cheap cloak from a secondhand store?”

Oh God, I hear your heart. You set me apart; yet, I joined the crowd – like birds of a feather.
From now on, Abba, when the swirl and twirl shoves at me, instead of taking to panicked wings; I’ll let you quiet my soul.

“I am ready now; I am willing now to be swept under the safety of your wings, as a hen gathers her chicks.” (Matthew 23:37, NKJV)

Question: Does this prayer sound like one you’ve prayed recently? What about sometime in the past?

One of the greatest things we can be thankful for is God’s love for us. No matter what situation we may be in, the Lord has a special way of touching us with His hand of peace and grace that comforts us in all our troubles. He knew exactly what the Baumann family needed as they grieved the loss of their father and husband Bill Baumann, who tragically took his life last April.

Thanksgiving has always been our most sacred family holiday. Our main tradition is an unvarying brunch menu served on the same dishes every year. Each person has their own candle at their place setting and a carefully selected verse attached by ribbon to the candleholder. After a time of sharing what we’re thankful for, we read the verses and I explain why I chose it for them. It is usually a pretty special time, but I knew this year would be different. The most visible thing would be who was not there.

The days before Thanksgiving were filled with more than the usual stresses. Every area of my life seemed to demand my attention. By the time I finally had a moment to prepare for the brunch, it was 11pm Wednesday night and I had nothing to offer. But somehow, between then and Thursday morning, God gave me verses for each person, and I knew Bill must have his candle as well.

Daniel loves a celebration and was excited to find me cooking breakfast. He ran to get his tape recorder so we could cook and listen to story tapes together. He watched me set the table and he noticed the candle for Bill. A light went on in his mind and he disappeared for a while. He came back with a smile and a bowl full of scraps of paper, each with one of our initials. Each person could say or show two things they were thankful for when their initials were drawn.

Daniel was eager for his turn. First he showed us the pumpkin pie he was thankful for, his favorite. Then he disappeared again. My daughters and I were sure he was retrieving our much-loved cat. But he came back with a picture from his room, a photo of him and his dad building his swing set together. He placed it by Bill’s candle. Instant tears for all the girls.

A remarkable time of heart felt sharing followed. There were many scraps of paper in the bowl, and we had much to be thankful for. Finally we read the verses. I want to share two of them.

A most difficult part of my life is making decisions on my own, the kind I have no experience or confidence in making. As I prayed for direction one morning, God showed me Isaiah 30:20,21, the verse I had at my candle. “Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more, with your own eyes you will see them. Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice saying, ‘This is the way, walk in it.’” I heard His voice and shared with my kids how some of my burdens were lifted.

For Bill’s verse, I chose a familiar passage in Romans. “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38). Though we are now separated from Bill, we are not separated from the love of God, and neither is he. And some day, our reunion in heaven will be all the sweeter in contrast to the pain we feel now.

We blew out the candles and our brunch was over. God met us on a special day. He used our family tradition, His word, and the spontaneity of a little boy.

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Rediscover the gift of grace with this lesson in the book of Ruth
How to be thankful when times are tough