It’s a subject that none of us want to think about.

Getting started

So let’s do something today that we don’t want to do. Let’s evaluate your estate planning and see if it’s adequate for the job. For the record, I am not an attorney and this is not meant to be legal advice. I have been a financial planner and often referred clients to get competent legal advice. This is meant to do the same.

First, let’s create working definitions for a couple of commonly used terms. “Estate” refers to what financial and physical assets that you own (or partially own) at the time of your death. “Estate planning” is the planning that you do before your death to make sure that your wishes are followed after death. A “will” is the most commonly used document to make your wishes known to those who survive you and any appropriate government authorities.

Estate planning

We’ll begin with estate planning. You’ll need to decide what you want your estate plan to do. Someone will need to be named the “executor” or boss of your estate. They’ll assume the responsibility of executing your last wishes. That person does not need to be a lawyer.
Any adult with good judgment will do. Often a family member is chosen but you may want someone from outside the family like a lawyer or bank to do the job.

You’ll want something that will provide instructions on how to distribute your financial assets and physical property. You may want specific items to go to designated persons. Or you may want to make it clear that certain persons are to be excluded from any inheritance.

If you have children you’ll want to specify who you want to raise your kids. Remember that they’ll need someone to take care of them both physically and to manage their finances until they reach adulthood. Quite often minor children are left financial assets in a parent’s estate.

You’ll also want to consider whether any estate taxes could apply. If so, you may be able to take steps to reduce the tax burden your heirs will face. OK, now that we’ve spent some time thinking about what we want to happen after we’re gone, let’s talk about how we make sure that it does happen.

Wills matter
In most cases the primary document is a ‘will’ or ‘last will and testament.’ A will is a very specific document. It’s not a list of items with names next to them that you keep in your safe deposit box or post it notes pasted on a silver tea service that you want to go to little Sally.

A will is a legal document that contains certain elements that are required by state law. While none of these elements are difficult, failure to include them could invalidate the will. And, to complicate matters, each state has slightly different requirements. Make sure that your will is legal in your state of residence. Have it rechecked if you’ve moved to a new state since it was written.

Many single adults think that they don’t need a will. Typically they’re wrong. Without a will it take could months to have someone assigned to sell a car owned by the deceased or pay any bills. There could even be a problem finding someone to pay funeral expenses.

Another common misconception is that married couples can solve the problem by putting everything into joint accounts. Unfortunately not everything can be titled jointly (think of jewelry or home electronics). And, even if everything is held jointly, what happens if both spouses go in a joint accident?

Dying without a will can leave a real mess. State law will determine who is the executor and how your property will be distributed. That might not produce the results you want. For instance, in some cases law dictates that some inheritance goes to children before the surviving spouse.

It’s especially important for unmarried couples. State laws are a patchwork. In some places they recognize common-law marriage the same as one registered with the state. In other places, a life-long live-in partner is accorded no more rights than a complete stranger.

State laws are also problematic for couples in a second marriage. You may think that certain assets that you brought into a second marriage should go to the children of your first marriage. The state might think otherwise.

Bottom line? Just about everyone who has reached adulthood should have a will.

Making a will

Being frugal it’s tempting to want to write your own will or buy a form where you just fill in the blanks. Normally I encourage do-it-yourself efforts. But in this case that could be a mistake.
Remember that if something isn’t done right no one will know until after you’re gone and can’t correct it. A small mistake could be very costly. This might be one of those cases where hiring a professional is good money management.

That doesn’t mean that you can’t shop around to save some money. If you’ve already thought about what you want your estate plan to accomplish you’ll reduce the number of hours the attorney will spend preparing your will. That will save you some money.

Finally, you’ll want to make sure that your executor has access to a copy of your will when you die. They will need it as proof that they can make decisions for you. Give them have a copy of the will, or, if you’d prefer that they not see it, give a copy to your lawyer and let the executor know who the lawyer is. Don’t put the only copy in your bank box. The bank will not let the executor enter just because they say they have a right. The bank will require proof. And that proof is locked in your box.

Planning for your estate does not need to be expensive. Unless your financial or personal affairs are complicated getting the documents prepared isn’t that expensive. But, it is important. Don’t leave a financial mess as a last memory of you for your loved ones.

Take the next step:

Get control of your finances
Lessons from an economic crisis
5 Things money can do

Editor’s Note: It is always our hope that a couple is able to reconcile. If your own marriage is in trouble our mentors are available to help. 

It is difficult to deal with everyday life when you’re going through a divorce. You feel lousy both physically and emotionally. But in spite of that, you need to take care of your financial situation as soon as possible. After meeting with your attorney, you need to sort out all the assets and get a general feeling of who is going to get what. This includes bank accounts, retirement accounts, real estate investments, life insurance, stock plans and the martial home.

There are many things you can do to protect yourself. If you’ve yet to be served with divorce papers from your soon-to-be-ex, you can change your will so that half of your estate goes to your family (children, siblings, parents) if you die before the divorce decree gets signed. Otherwise, your entire estate could go to the woman you’re divorcing (check your state’s laws or consult with an attorney). You can also change the beneficiary of your life insurance plan as well.

1. Close joint banking and credit card accounts. One other important thing to do before you’re served is to close out joint banking and credit card accounts. Open up new ones in your name only. I made the mistake of not knowing my ex-wife was on one of my checking accounts and she took $1,300 out of it. I’ll never get that back.

2. If you’re in the US, don’t forget about your health insurance. If you’re on her plan, she has to keep you there until the divorce decree is signed, or vice-versa. If don’t have your own health insurance, start shopping now so that you’re ready when everything’s done. It is a terrible idea to be without major medical coverage.

3. Figure out how much you’re going to need to live on. Stay on a budget if you’ve moved out and keep track of your expenses. In many cases, men now have legal rights to spousal support if your ex-wife-to-be earned more than you did.

If you do not have a current document of the net wealth you and your ex have accumulated, you need to get that in order too. Most attorneys or your CPA can provide you with a simple file to input that information. It is basically assets minus liabilities to get a good idea of how much your estate is valued.

Taken from the ebook, 9 Secrets A Man Needs To Know About Divorce.  Used with permission.

Take the next step:

Life after divorce
How do you define yourself?
Helping kids cope with divorce

This is the time of year when many people look at their debt situation and shudder.

They’ll begin with high hopes. But many of them will quit before reaching their goal, disappointed, discouraged and defeated. Is there something that they could have done differently that would have given them a better chance at success? I think so.

You can find all kinds of advice about how to get out of debt. The web is full of the stuff. But, when you boil it all down, there are three things that form a foundation for a get out of debt effort.

1. Don’t expect immediate results. You won’t be getting out of debt in a matter of days or weeks. The only way to eliminate your debts quickly is to inherit a large sum of money, win the lottery or declare bankruptcy. The first two are unlikely. The third may remove debts quickly, but you’ll suffer with a lower credit score for years to come.

Recognize that it will probably take about as long to get out of debt as it took you to get into it. You can speed up the process but you won’t eliminate debt that took 10 years to accumulate in 10 months. You can shorten the time by being aggressive in your payback plan, but it still will be a long process.

What’s the take-away? You need to be prepared for a marathon race. This is not a sprint. If you’re prepared for the long haul you won’t be disappointed and discouraged when a year passes and you haven’t eliminated all your debts. You’ll expect a long battle and be ready to fight it.

2. You need a good plan. A good plan will stand the test of time. The longer you work with a good plan, the more you appreciate its usefulness. There are a number of good plans readily available. You may find that one is particularly well suited to your situation.

Any good plan will have a number of characteristics:

1. It will include all your debts. That’s important to help you see the whole picture.
2. It will help you evaluate exactly how bad your debt situation is. Not only will you know how much you owe, but you’ll know how much it’s costing you in interest each month/year.
3. It will include a priority of which debts to pay off first – smallest to biggest? Highest to lowest interest rate?
4. It will allow you to know how much money you’ll have each month to repay debts.
5. It will free you from having decisions to make each month. You know how much money you’ll have and which debt is being reduced first. The decision is already made. It’s just a matter of executing your plan.
6. It will allow you to calculate an approximate date that you’ll be debt free.
7. It will help you monitor your progress. You should be able to predict where you’ll be 6 months from now. And, then compare your actual results to that prediction.
8. It will take your personality into account. Some people need the motivation of seeing many small accounts being repaid quickly.
9. Others are happier watching the average interest rate their paying decrease each month. A good plan will be tailored to your personality.

A good plan will do all those things. Some offer other bells and whistles. But any good plan should do all of the above things. If your plan doesn’t do them, keep looking for one that does. This job is hard enough with a good plan. Don’t weigh yourself down with a bad one.

3.  Find a way to keep yourself motivated throughout the process. Once again, you’ll need to know what would encourage you when you’re thinking of quitting. For some people, rewards along the way work well. Perhaps a nice dinner or that coffee maker you’ve wanted would be a good reward when your car loan is repaid. Knowing that a reward is within reach could be enough to keep you going.

For others one big reward at the end is the best motivation. I know of people who’ve wanted to go on a cruise for years. They’ve added the cost of the cruise to their debts. And when it’s all paid off they’ll be packing their bags. To remind them now, they’ve posted pictures of cruise ships around the house as a continual reminder.

Getting out of debt is a tough challenge, but it’s a worthwhile one. And it’s one that you can accomplish with the right tools and sufficient determination!

Take the next step:
Managing debt starts with a plan
Digging out of debt 
Take a lesson: How to beat stress

Take the next step:
How to help the homeless
10 Ways to help your community
Take a lesson: Cultivate generosity

What does worship mean to you? Here is an online Bible study to guide you.

The second aspect of Paul’s definition of who we are in Christ is: we are the ones who worship by the Spirit of God.  To worship means to show reverence, honor and intense love, as well as to perform acts of service, toward an object or being.  Although others may worship celebrities, sports heroes or less tangible idols like money, success or power, as believers we worship the living God.

Not only is who we worship critical, but also how we worship. We worship by the Spirit of God.  Therefore our worship flows not from our humanity, but from God who dwells within us.

Jesus told the Samaritan woman, “[A] time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and His worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth” (John 4:23, 24, NIV).

No longer are we trapped in the mold of the Old Testament days where the High Priest approached God on our behalf with the blood of animals. Because of Jesus’ sacrifice, His Spirit lives within us, allowing us to enter into the very presence of God.  Our acts of worship are not external rituals that draw attention to us, but rather they are acts of surrender and service with our whole heart, body, mind and spirit, made possibly through the Holy Spirit.

“Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God – this is your spiritual act of worship” (Romans 12:1).

Thank you, Holy God, for making a way for me to worship you in spirit and in truth. Amen.

Questions: What does worshipping in spirit and in truth look like in your life? How have you been challenged to make sure your worship is not merely an external ritual?

How can we life self-controlled, alert lives? Take this online interactive study which explores this important topic!

“I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at last you have renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you have been concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:10-13

Remember the truth that God owns it all? When we have a firm grasp of this concept and apply it to our thinking and handling of money, we will have mastered the first principle of prosperity. If we realize that everything we see in our world is His, then we will begin to realize that we literally own nothing; we are merely stewards handling the wealth of our Master. As money managers, we must understand that we do not have the right to dictate how it is to be spent or invested; only God does. He is still in control, and He wants to have the final word in the matter.

The second principle of prosperity is that God wants His resources used in a way that glorifies Him. Not only does He own it all and have the right to tell us how to manage it, but He also expects us to obey. Our obedience in money matters brings Him glory. The Lord wants us to keep this in mind as we put His resources into circulation to accomplish His work, to meet basic needs, and to provide enjoyment.

So, for the New Year, ask God these three questions: How much do You want to be designated for Your work? What proportion should go to meet my basic needs and the needs of others? How much do You want me to utilize to enjoy life?

When we accept that God owns it all, that we are His money managers, and that our resources are to be used to glorify Him, then we will be satisfied with His choices for how to use the money we have. How satisfied are you?

Question: How satisfied are you, in life in general, and more specifically with your spiritual life & walk with God?

“Don’t you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean nothing to you? Can’t you see that his kindness is intended to turn you from your sin?” (Romans 2:4, NLV)

God has created each one of us with this inner desire to be filled by Him but we often choose to allow other things to fill that hole in our life.  Recently, I had come to acknowledge that I had a substitute god in my life.

Substitute gods take. They take your time, energy, thoughts, money, focus, and purpose. If they give it’s only temporary and then it leaves you needing and wanting more.  That’s what this god was doing in my life.  I was bowing down to this god and was worshiping and accepting it as lord of my life.

Through the study of God’s Word, He has shown me that I need His sorrow for my sin and His repentance.  I now know that this area of my life is sin – before I called this everything else but that and by not confessing my sin and relinquishing this area in my life I have experienced frustration, anger and defeat.

Joel 2:12-13 (NLV) says,  “That is why the LORD says, ‘Turn to me now, while there is time.  Give me your hearts.  Come with fasting, weeping, and mourning.  Don’t tear your clothing in your grief, but tear your hearts instead. Return to the LORD your God, for he is merciful and compassionate, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love.  He is eager to relent and not punish.’”

Praise God that He loves us in spite of our failures! Each day I am experiencing His amazing grace as I continue to give this issue in my life to Him and accept His forgiveness.

I’m here to tell you, it’s not worth it to hold on – sin only brings shame, sorrow, frustration and guilt. God is ready and waiting to release you from the bonds of your sin and to set you free!  There is so much joy and freedom and He is patiently waiting.

So trade in that substitute god for the REAL ONE – it’ll be the best decision you’ll ever make!

Questions: Do you have a substitute god in your life? Is there an area in your life that you have been unwilling to relinquish and submit to God?