So this year, may we encourage you to put the best ingredients into your marriage?  Simple ones like time.  Attention.  Intention.  Romance.  Sex.  Laughter.  Gratitude.  Celebration.

At the beginning of every year, Neil and I have a “State of the Union” weekend where we review the past year and look forward to the next.  We talk about the joys, challenges and disappointments of the year past and set some goals, make some plans and dream forward into the new year.   We started doing it about 15 years ago after a particularly troubled time in our marriage.   In fact, it was the roughest season we’d ever experienced.  We found ourselves frosty roommates rather than the passionate friends and lovers we’d always been to each other.  We couldn’t believe we’d allowed ourselves to get so far off track.  A weekend retreat helped us get honest and slowly start making our way back.   We realized our marriage had become the victim of benign neglect.  We’d been trying to keep a marriage alive on scraps.  Scraps of time, scraps of attention, scraps of energy.   Cheap ingredients.  We agreed we wanted more than that.  So now we get away once a year – for a day, a weekend, and this year, for a week – to take stock, to plan and to make sure we’re putting the very best ingredients in our 33 year “stew”.  We leave on Sunday!

We use different tools to guide our conversation.  This year we’ll be using a guide I found on a blog site (simplemom.net) I visit occasionally and highly recommend. You can download the Goal-Setting Guide for 2012 here.  It might help provide a process and some great questions for you and your spouse to talk through.

Some suggestions:

And cover it all with a big helping of prayer.  That’s the best ingredient of all.

Bon Appetit!

Neil and Sharol Josephson are the Directors of FamilyLife Canada

“He went without knowing where he was going.” (Hebrews 11:8b, NLT)

It’s a new year – a new beginning, new unknown territory. It can be a scary journey at times. Will I have the courage to step out into the unknown as Abraham did? Will you?

As I stand here with my toes on the threshold of the new year I know that God knows where He and I are going. Do I then go forward in faith’s victory to possess this new year…or remain frozen in victim’s defeat, allowing it to possess me?

As Jesus once said to a man whom He was about to heal, “Step forward.” (Mark 3:3b NKJV) Will I step forward believing and trusting for the answer to that which I need, remembering what God has done for me in the past? Or will I hang back in the shadows afraid to move ahead, forgetting God’s providence?

Just as God told Isaiah, He says to you and me, “Remember the things I have done in the past. For I alone am God! I am God, and there is none like Me.” (Isaiah 46:9, NLT)

God will again make His provisions available in the new year for it is in His plan for each of us. He says, “I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” (Jer. 29:11 Msg)

As God led every step of the Israelites’ journey to the new land, so He still leads us today. When we take those wobbly steps into the unknown, what will this new land hold for us?

We may encounter…

* joys unspeakable

* smooth paths of guidance

* lush pastures of provision

* hilltop experiences

* spiritual blessings in abundance

However, we may also encounter…

* desert dryness

* valley mists and fogs

* wilderness wanderings

* gremlins hiding behind bushes

* paths with potholes and pitfalls

* steep uphill climbs and dangerous downhill slides

Challenges will meet us at every turn, some easier to handle than others. But God will work in all the ups and downs of those trials, heartaches, and blessings.

He does this for us because of His compassion and mercy. Jeremiah tells us, “Yet there is one ray of hope: His compassion never ends. It is only the Lord’s mercies that have kept us from complete destruction. Great is His faithfulness; His loving-kindness begins afresh each day.” (Lamentations 3:21-23, TLB)

Be assured that no matter what happens on your journey this year, He is the source of your fresh mercies every morning. He will never fail you. He will walk by your side along each rocky bend in the road and carry you through each heartache and loss. God will see you through to the end of next year. Will you live as Abraham? “By faith he dwelt in the land of promise as in a foreign country.” (Hebrews 11:9a, NKJV)

We live our outward days on earth as in a foreign country, for we abide in God’s Kingdom of promise within us. Therefore, each day brings a new threshold into eternity. How can we not welcome it with willing feet and open arms?  I am ready to step into the journey of each new day of this year, greeting each one in faith and with God’s mercy.

Questions: How about you? Are you ready? How will you greet the challenges of your new journey?

Some trust in chariots, and some in horses; But we will remember the name of the Lord our God Psalm 20:7.

As we usher in another year, I recall a question a reporter asked Benjamin Franklin as he emerged from the Continental Convention that was forming the structure of America’s government. “What kind of government have you given us’” asked the reporter. Franklin’s response was “a republic if you can keep it.”

That statement was made more than two hundred years ago and history shows that the cycle of national dominance usually expires in about that period of time. Where are we in the cycle of nations?

The historical cycle seems to be: From bondage to spiritual faith; from spiritual faith to courage; from courage to liberty; from liberty to abundance; from abundance to selfishness; from selfishness to apathy; from apathy to dependency; and from dependency back to bondage once more.

At the stage between apathy and dependency, men always turn in fear to economic and political panaceas. New conditions, it is claimed, require new remedies. Under such circumstances, the competent citizen is certainly not a fool if he insists upon using the compass of history when forced to sail uncharted seas.

As we usher in 2012 we are in worldwide economic chaos, fighting wars we cannot win against enemies we cannot identify. In our country, more people are getting from rather than contributing to the revenue stream that powers democracy. The world is encased in a turmoil never before known in history.

Where can we place our trust and faith in the New Year? Certainly not in men nor in nations, as both will disappoint us. Certainly not in the economy, as it is in shambles as the corporate, national and personal debt is one we can never hope to repay. Certainly not in military might, as we are vulnerable to a defense that could lead to world annihilation.

In this coming year, the only safe place to put our trust is in God. “Blessed are all those who put their trust in Him” (Psalm 2:12). “Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good; Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!” (Psalm 34:8).

The New Year is always full of resolutions. Let this one be yours from Psalms (18:2) “The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; My God, my strength, in whom I will trust; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold”

Put your trust in God! For where your treasure is, there you’ll find your heart. Put your trust in him! He won’t let you down. God is our hope, so put your life in his hands. May this be our resolution for the New Year.

( a thought on life from John Grant)

“Sing aloud, O daughter of Zion; shout, O Israel! Rejoice and exult with all your heart, O daughter of Jerusalem! The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.” (Zephaniah 3:14 & 17, NASB)

“We’ve come to rejoice with Him!”

The statement startled me. It seemed out of place. As believers we gathered that week to worship, to rejoice in the work that God had done, to listen for direction for the year ahead. We’d come to encourage one another, to share, perhaps even to weep or laugh together. But “to rejoice WITH God” sounded strange.  Surely the speaker meant to say that we were gathered to rejoice in what God had done, right?

The image in my mind of God’s people simply praising and worshipping Him, changed. We were not “performing” for a God who simply watched, nor were we awaiting orders for the next step on a task list. We were coming that evening to truly join with God who was actively rejoicing … over us!

I thought of a mother beaming with pride as her daughter completed a challenging piece of music, a parent cheering as a child scored in a ball game. I thought of a father who couldn’t stop smiling as his son graduated. Parents celebrate the accomplishments of their children, proud of their perseverance, their skill, their hard work and a goal accomplished. Teachers rejoice too when students apply their studies to life situations. Coaches brag about the teamwork that was required to win a championship.

Imagine the Father, leaning forward in His seat, smiling with admiration as He too reviews the year just past. It might have been a year of trials and challenges, yet it was a year in which He sees growth in His daughter. Perhaps it was a year in which a son has formed solid new relationships after significant hurts the year before, a year in which old ways were laid aside and new patterns began to emerge. Imagine Him as He sees a growing trust, an increasing longing to be near Him. Imagine Him rejoicing … over you!

“Sing aloud, O daughter of Zion; shout, O Israel! Rejoice and exult with all your heart, O daughter of Jerusalem! The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.” (Zephaniah 3:14, 17)

“Well done, good and faithful servant….Enter into the joy of your master.” (Matthew 25:23)

Father God, You have been faithful in the past, and remain faithful today. Your work has been good, and I rejoice in what You’ve done. I’m reminded that You too rejoice! Help me to rest in Your love and Your work in the past and the future. Thank You for the invitation to share Your joy! Help me as I yield myself once again to You in the year ahead. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Questions: Do think of God leaning forward in His seat proud of you and what you’ve done? How will this year be different if you keep this picture of God in your heart?

The tiny wrinkles around my eyes seemed to appear almost overnight. One day I was very aware of them and knew I had better get that eye cream I was hearing about. I’d better try the “triple action”! I was amazed at the results…and in such a short time! This was good.

The waistband on my jeans felt tight. Could it be those wonderful cappuccinos I was regularly enjoying? I was amazed at the results…and in such a short time! This was not good.

I didn’t like the sand paper edge that seemed to spring up between my teen and I. I asked the Lord for patience and grace to bit my tongue. I was amazed at the results…and in such a short time! This was good.

Little decisions are peppered throughout the day. Little changes push the edge of results to the negative or the positive.

It’s the same in your spiritual journey. Little changes…conscious little choices that push your walk with God in one direction or another. Little choices to let God in or to hold Him at a distance. Little choices of attitude; little choices of purity in thoughts or choices of entertainment. Little choices. Invite Him into them. You will be amazed at the results… and in such a short time!

“Create in me a clean heart O God, and renew a right spirit within me”. Psalm 51:10

This New Years don’t make grand resolutions that will fade in a few short weeks. Choose daily to let God be a part of the little choices…choose to be amazed…and in such a short time!

Prayer & reflection

Heavenly Father,
Thank you that You can create what is right and good in this heart of mine that often struggles with the little daily choices. Thank you that I can count on You to renew a right attitude within me. I am not making grand New Year’s resolutions that will fade, but I am asking You to help me make the right daily choices in the little things of life. I want to be changed in this New Year. I want to reflect Your patience to my family; I want to turn away from entertainment that reflects the opposite of what you desire for me. I want You to renew right attitudes in me daily. Amaze me with the results, Father, as You guide me in the small things of my day. Thank you that I can face this New Year with freshness and anticipation because you are holding my hand! You will help me in the little things of my life. For this I give You my praise!
In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Question: How do you guard against the little things?

How can we life self-controlled, alert lives? Take this online interactive study which explores this important topic!

“I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at last you have renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you have been concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:10-13

Remember the truth that God owns it all? When we have a firm grasp of this concept and apply it to our thinking and handling of money, we will have mastered the first principle of prosperity. If we realize that everything we see in our world is His, then we will begin to realize that we literally own nothing; we are merely stewards handling the wealth of our Master. As money managers, we must understand that we do not have the right to dictate how it is to be spent or invested; only God does. He is still in control, and He wants to have the final word in the matter.

The second principle of prosperity is that God wants His resources used in a way that glorifies Him. Not only does He own it all and have the right to tell us how to manage it, but He also expects us to obey. Our obedience in money matters brings Him glory. The Lord wants us to keep this in mind as we put His resources into circulation to accomplish His work, to meet basic needs, and to provide enjoyment.

So, for the New Year, ask God these three questions: How much do You want to be designated for Your work? What proportion should go to meet my basic needs and the needs of others? How much do You want me to utilize to enjoy life?

When we accept that God owns it all, that we are His money managers, and that our resources are to be used to glorify Him, then we will be satisfied with His choices for how to use the money we have. How satisfied are you?

Question: How satisfied are you, in life in general, and more specifically with your spiritual life & walk with God?

What does your soul crave? Take this study.

“Show me Your ways, O Lord, teach me Your paths; guide me in Your truth and teach me, for You are God my Savior, and my hope is in You all day long” (Psalm 25:4&5).

Kathy thought about the New Year as she filed away the boxes of last year’s paperwork. There were things she would like to do differently in this new year. Oh, there were the usual things most of her friends were claiming as their New Year’s Resolutions:

•    Lose weight
•    Stop smoking
•    Take more time for relationships
•    Set goals

The list went on. The office was filled with laughter and the prospect of hope for change that a new year would bring.  Yet Kathy knew, in a week or so, the chatter would turn to the broken resolutions and very few of the hoped for changes would become a reality. She wanted something more for her life.

That night Kathy picked up her Bible and read Psalm 25. It was full of hope and an expectation of change that only God could bring to her life. She read it through a couple of times and underlined some verses that seemed to jump off the page, bringing fresh hope to her heart.

“Show me Your ways, O Lord, teach me Your paths; guide me in Your truth and teach me, for You are God my Savior, and my hope is in You all day long” (Psalm 25:4&5).

The second time she read it through it struck her… here was her New Year’s resolution! This would be the prayer of her heart everyday in this New Year. She grabbed a recipe card and wrote out the words, letting them soak into her soul. This was the change she wanted in her life…to keep her focus daily on the path God wanted her to walk in hope and in faith.

Take a little time over the next few days and read through Psalm 25 yourself. Consider reading it every day for a week and ask God to make the promise of hope come alive to your heart. Write verses 4 & 5 on a card or a sticky note and place it where you will see it regularly. Memorize it and let it soak into your soul and change your life.

Father God,
Thank you for the promise of hope You bring to my heart and my life. I do lift up my soul and my life to You now. I want to trust in You more fully this year. Tune my ears to hear Your voice more clearly. Teach me Your path and guide me in Your truth. In these changing days I need to discern Your ways for me. Help me to put my hope  in You, not just occasionally or when I am in a hard place, but every day all day long. Thank you that You are God, my Savior! I ask this in the strong name of Jesus, amen.

Questions: Do you crave to be closer to God?  How do you plan on growing closer to God this year? Read Psalm 25.

TAKE THE NEXT STEP: Hannah: a study in contentment

About the Author Gail Rodgers

Tonight, when the clock strikes midnight, many people will celebrate – some a little too much. We have lived various places and witnessed various traditions. In the Rio Grande Valley of Texas, guns are shot up in the air and in the next morning’s paper is the inevitable news of how one stray bullet found an innocent victim, again.

I remember our first December 31st in Louisiana.  It was just months after Desert Storm invaded Baghdad and I thought I was witnessing “shock and awe” in person. We were the only ones in our neighborhood who had not purchased fireworks. To say the sky lit up with color would be an understatement. Within minutes the sulfur smells were so thick it was hard to breathe in the humid Bayou night air. The house across the street became veiled in a hovering film of smoke like a Speak Easy in the old movies.

Some people will celebrate a little quieter. A kiss at the stroke of 12, a fork full of black-eyed peas for luck and prosperity,  a toast with a flute of champagne, or passing the peace in a candlelit church.  Resolutions will be penned, and adhered to for a few days, maybe. Promises will be made to jog more and eat less, to love more and argue less.

But should not each stroke of midnight be a new beginning for us?  We don’t have to wait 365 days to renew a right spirit within us. God’s mercies are new every morning. He has bridged the gap between our sinful nature and His Holiness and each day, each hour, each breath we decide  whether to cross it and receive His forgiveness or to cower on the other side and try to resolve it ourselves.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.  The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. 2 Corinthians 5:16-17

Happy New Year – Happy new day of hope. Your God has given you yet another opportunity. Today decide who you will follow. Celebrate new life in Him who gave up His life for you. Shine His light for the world to see and draw near with awe.

Remember we are still in the Christmas season – wise men (and women) are still seeking Him.  He is our New Year’s resolution. He has resolved the quandary of how we can approach a Holy Sovereign God. The true New Year’s babe is the one lying in the manger, and forever in Heaven preparing a place for you and me.

Questions: What resolution will you make this year? Will you present it before God seeking His strength and guidance and forgiveness?

About the Author:  Julie Cosgrove

New Year’s Resolutions used to be my enemies.

Why is it that we as humans even have this tradition in place?  It inevitably results in failure for me almost every year.  Except for this one.  This year, I have actually attained the goal that I resolved to attain.  Wonder of wonder, miracle of miracles!

My secret to being successful this year was to aim lower than other years.  That way I expect less of myself, and it’s easier to get a win.  You’re probably thinking “Really?  That is how you are going to tell me to live? To aim lower in order to win?”  And to that I say, NO.

What I am trying to express is that people need to be realistic in setting their goals. Set milestones in your life that are attainable.  If you are able to actually achieve what you are setting out to do, you will walk away happy, with a sense of accomplishment.  More importantly you will feel that there is so much more that you are able to accomplish.  Do not expect the impossible of yourself, or you will feel like a failure when you fail to meet that goal. We were meant to do great things!  Author Erwin McManus said something once that stuck with me “You are not supposed to just passively enter into tomorrow.  You are supposed to be actively engaging in the creation of tomorrow”.  How true, but unfortunately, how easily forgotten.

I have heard people say to me, “God expects the best of me” and use it as a reason to see themselves as failures when they don’t live up to lofty expectations of themselves.

It is also my firm belief that God blessed us with minds that are able to recognize when we are in over our heads.  Yes, God does expect the best of us, but He sees each of us as the individual that He created us to be.  It has been a long road for me to come to realize this, and one that I will continue to walk on daily with Him.  But I know it is the truth.

When I set out with a goal for myself, I do it after talking to God about it. Isaiah 55:6  says “Seek the Lord while he may be found, call on him while he is near” (NIV).  God loves to be in conversation with his children.  I take an inward look to see what is realistic for myself.  This does not by any means go to say that I do not push myself.  If we never push ourselves, we will never grow, never move forward.  God expects me to try and learn, but he does not except me to live in failure.  He wants only the best for his children.

When you set a goal that through hard work, and perseverance, and with God’s help, you will see positive change happening.  That is why resolutions exist; to succeed at them, to create a positive change in ones life, to further yourself.  I find for myself that once I have achieved one goal, I am eager to move onto the next one and work hard at it.  Small planned steps will get you further than blind leaps.

When I take stock of how I am doing with my New Years Resolutions at this 4-month point, I feel good for the first year ever.  Have I lost 50 pounds? Do I have hair longer than any other person I know?  Am I fluent in Italian? Of course not, those are unrealistic goals that would have set me up for failure, would have created a negative feeling towards myself. However, I have committed to fitness and am exercising weekly.  I don’t have any split ends.  And I can now properly communicate to any Italian that I am in need of a telephone and want to eat an apple.

For me, small steps in the right direction means getting a win in the end.

Is your best never good enough? Talk to a mentor

But Jesus, walking on the water, called out to them, “Take courage! I Am. Don’t be afraid.” He climbed into the boat and immediately the wind ceased. Soon they reached their destination. (John 6:16-21 Amplified Bible; also Exodus 3:14))

What challenges are you facing as you enter a new year? Are you in the midst of a storm? Maybe it’s a family crisis. Financial insecurity. Sickness. Loneliness.

See Jesus walking towards you on the waves and calling out to you, “Take courage! I Am. Don’t be afraid.”

I Am the beginning of all things, the end of all things and in the midst of all things.

I was present at your birth; I will be there at the end of your years and through all the days in between.

I Am ever present. I Am not only the God of your past and your future,

But I Am also the God of your present moments.

All that I have been and will be, I Am to you now. You do not have to look at the coming year

and wonder how you will get through it physically, emotionally, mentally, financially or spiritually.

I Am your life, your health, your strength and your supply.

I Am your source, your confidence, your victory!                                                              Author Unknown

Father, the very waves that threatened the disciples, Jesus walked on. Thank you that Jesus is ever present and sufficient to make me a conqueror. Amen.

Questions: Are you wondering whether you will be able to get through this coming year physically, emotionally, mentally, financially or spiritually? What would be your first step to help you to continue on with confidence?

About the Author Helen Lescheid

Daily audio podcast: A second daily devotional, We Are Desperate For You, today on the Men’s Devotional Blog