Facebook has dominated our world!

If you’ve been on the sidelines waiting for “the fad” to fade or have been dabbling with social media and waiting for the frenzy to die down, it is not going away anytime soon.  Facebook has cemented itself so much into our culture and way of life that it’s here to stay. In this season of new commitments and hopeful promises, here’s a bit of New Year’s advice: get on the social media train!

To help you get more out of social media (and for social media to get more out of you), here are 11 resolutions for you to consider as we kick off a new year:

1. Join the party – If you’ve been a social media spectator until now, start participating. Connect with people you know on Facebook, network with people in your field of business with LinkedIn, or exchange information with people you may or may not know on Twitter. You could also find some other social network to join so that the multi-dimensional, real-time interactions become a part of you and you become a part of it. The party is waiting for you to arrive!

2. Engage more – There are a lot of different names for them: virtual voyeurs, online lurkers, or Facebook gawkers. While they’ve joined a social network, these people just read what others are posting, and keep to themselves. That’s like going to a party, sitting in the corner and watching people have a good time, listening into their conversations, and ignoring anyone trying to talk to you. If this describes you, then this social media resolution is all about you! There’s a reason social media is called SOCIAL…people engage with each other.  Go ahead and give it a try!

3. Watch the clock – Social media can be really addictive. Especially when you’re starting out. For some, reality and virtual reality get so intertwined that they can’t seem to separate the two. For others, their online connections take precedence over their real-time relationships. If you spend more than two hours a day on social media sites, set a timer for a certain amount of time (15-60 minutes) and once the alarm goes off, log off until the next day. Watching the clock with social media will give you time to pay attention to the more important things of life, like your kids, your spouse and your health.

4. Be interesting – There is a reason people connect with you through social media: they want to get to know you better. Stop hiding behind other people’s quotes or passing on something someone else has posted.  Speak for yourself!  Don’t stress out if nobody responds to your post.  Find your voice and let it be heard (or read) and you’ll be surprised how much more fulfilling social media can be.

5. Branch out – Most people embarked on the online network journey with Facebook. If you feel like you’ve got a good grasp on your Facebook friends, try making connections on LinkedIn, or follow and be followed on Twitter. So many of these sites are interconnected, making it easy to jump from one social network to another, yet each site offers something unique, different and worthwhile. Get adventurous and go explore another social media site – you might be surprised by what you discover!

6. Set up guard rails – There is a line between doing the right thing and wrong thing with social media. The challenge is that there’s no map pointing out where that line is. There’s no set of written rules or a list of proper social media etiquette. Unfortunately, people usually discover the line by crossing it. Be proactive. Set up your own set of boundaries (e.g. rules and etiquette) to protect yourself, your marriage and your family. Guard rails prevent problems from happening, and keep issues from getting out of hand if a problem does arise.

7. Have “the talk”- If you’re in a relationship and involved with social media, then a conversation about how social media impacts your relationship is inevitable. The question is: will the discussion occur before or after a relationship-related issue erupts? By setting up some mutual guard rails, agreed upon time limits and other social media house rules, couples and families can avoid a lot of headache, heartache and hassle. This is not the type of discussion you can text, IM, email, or video chat. You need to get face-to-face and TALK.

8. Go mobile – All the experts predict that in the near future, more people will shift a bulk of their internet and social media experience to a smartphone. Millions of people already access social media sites from their mobile phone. And millions more will make the leap to greater mobility. Why not you? It’s the way of the future for the internet, social media and gaming.  Give it a try!

9. Avoid the drama – We all have them – high-maintenance Facebook friends. They post status updates intended to create a reaction. They comment on updates that spark drama. They have something to say about everything, and nothing is off limits. You cringe when you see their profile picture. This is the year to move beyond “Hide” and discover how to unfriend or block your if-it-were-TV-they’d-be-a-featured-guest-on-Jerry-Springer friend.

10. Show P.D.A. the right way – People post updates as a substitute for a thank you card or to publicly show appreciation to someone. The problem is, their attempt to bring a virtual ego-boost to the person fails miserably and the person never sees the written praises. Make this the year of learning how to correctly hotlink people on Facebook. Just typing their name does not ensure they see it. Add the “@” sign in front of their name and they will see your special display of affection.

11. Give credit where credit is due – Plagiarism is rampant within social media. Cite the source when you’re sharing info, videos, pictures, or links. When using someone else’s update as your own, at least give them credit.  A simple citation of who you got whatever you’re sharing from is the right thing to do.

Play your part in social media and let it play its part in your life!

Take the next step:

Facebook for couples: 8 Things to do today
 Learn to speak your spouse’s love language
What’s your communication style?

“I hope you will be patient with me …” (2 Corinthians 11:1a, NLT)

In order to manage change, you must remember four things:

Love each other

The first mistake most people make during change is to focus on what they’ve lost, instead of what has been gained – and that creates fear. The antidote to fear is love: “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear …” (1 John 4:18, NKJV)

It’s impossible for love and fear to exist in the same environment – If we’ll focus on loving each other, then we’ll break out of the self-centeredness that often emerges during change. The love that conquers fear involves thinking about others instead of focusing on your own needs – and the more you love, the less you fear.

Listen to each other

During transition, we must be “quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry …” (James 1:19) If we get the first two right (quick listening, slow speaking), then the third (slow anger) will become automatic. It reflects the concept of “seeking to understand” before trying “to be understood.”

“Post this at all the intersections, dear friends: Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear.” (James 1:19, MSG)

Level with each other

We must speak the truth in love to each other if we’re going to walk together through change. It is human nature to avoid confronting someone directly, but then we fall into problems – even gossip – by talking to other people about the person we need to confront.

We can’t get close to each other until we deal honestly with our fundamental differences. “Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.” (Ephesians 4:15)

Liberate each other

Finally, we need to show each other grace – “cut each other some slack” – during transition. Liberating each other means letting go and treating someone else the same way Jesus treats you.

In other words, we shouldn’t lean into legalism or lording mistakes over others. People will make mistakes, and our response should be to recognize that these things will happen. The goal is not to make those who make mistakes feel bad, but rather to let them get over it and move on.

Question: Who do you know that you could encourage through changes in their lives, and who could in return encourage you?

About this Author: Rick Warren

1) Spend more time with family
2) Lose weight
3) Quit smoking or stop drinking
4) Do more fun stuff
5) Getting your finances in order

Other popular choices probably include spending more time reading the Bible and/or praying, getting in better shape, improving your marriage, getting out of debt, or serving more at church.

Do you identify with any of these? Maybe you’ve tried some of them in past years, but they’ve fizzled out after a month or two. (Or perhaps a week or two!) You may have even wondered this year, “What’s the point of making a new year’s resolution? I’ve failed in the past, what makes any difference this year?”

Psychologists might term this way of thinking learned helpnessness. This occurs when past failures cause us to think we have no control over the outcome of our own lives. However, this can be conquered! Maybe the problem is that you’ve been trying to do it alone. You might just need someone to walk with you, to encourage you as you strive to better your life.

If you already know someone who would be confident, patient, and trustworthy in a mentorship role, great! However, it can be tough to find someone like that. If you’d like to talk to an online mentor via email, there are mentors standing by to talk with you. It’s free, private, and totally confidential.

Mentors can encourage you to learn more about God and depend more on His strength by the power of the Holy Spirit to reach your goals this year. They can also help keep you accountable to your goals.

> Contact an online mentor today

Upcoming online chat topic: Facing Grief and Loss. Join us January 5, 2010 at 4:00pm EST in the chat room

1) Spend more time with family
2) Lose weight
3) Quit smoking or stop drinking
4) Do more fun stuff
5) Getting your finances in order

Other popular choices probably include getting in better shape, improving your marriage, getting out of debt, finding a more fulfilling job, or spending more time pondering the deeper questions of life.

Do you identify with any of these? Maybe you’ve tried some of them in past years, but they’ve fizzled out after a month or two. (Or perhaps a week or two!) You may have even wondered this year, “What’s the point of making a new year’s resolution? I’ve failed in the past, what makes any difference this year?”

Psychologists might term this way of thinking learned helpnessness. This occurs when past failures cause us to think we have no control over the outcome of our own lives. However, this can be conquered! Maybe the problem is that you’ve been trying to do it alone. You might just need someone to walk with you, to encourage you as you strive to better your life.

If you already know someone who would be confident, patient, and trustworthy in a mentorship role, great! However, it can be tough to find someone like that. If you’d like to talk to an online mentor via email, there are mentors standing by to talk with you. It’s free, private, and totally confidential.  They will be glad to listen and encourage you in whatever you hope to achieve this year.

> Contact an online mentor today

It’s easy to be negative about it. That calendar flips over and suddenly humanity swells with good intention. Intention that rarely ever sees February.  But maybe this year, instead of making a top 10 list of vague resolutions – lose weight, pay off debt, quit smoking – you could sharpen your pencil, get real, and ask yourself one question.

What is it that I want?

You want to play guitar, swim off the island of Santorini, Greece, help protect leatherback sea turtles or learn Spanish? Well how much do you want it? Because you are the only one who can take the necessary steps to make it happen. You can decide to do these things on any day of the year, but what better time than at the brink of a fresh, clean slate.

Instead of moping about new year’s resolutions, take some advice from H.L. Hunt,

“Decide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange for it. Establish your priorities and go to work.”

What’s on your list of things you want to accomplish, places you want to see, people you want to meet? Are you trying to tackle that list proactively or are you whining at the thought of resolutions?

Image credit: moni