Facebook has dominated our world!

If you’ve been on the sidelines waiting for “the fad” to fade or have been dabbling with social media and waiting for the frenzy to die down, it is not going away anytime soon.  Facebook has cemented itself so much into our culture and way of life that it’s here to stay. In this season of new commitments and hopeful promises, here’s a bit of New Year’s advice: get on the social media train!

To help you get more out of social media (and for social media to get more out of you), here are 11 resolutions for you to consider as we kick off a new year:

1. Join the party – If you’ve been a social media spectator until now, start participating. Connect with people you know on Facebook, network with people in your field of business with LinkedIn, or exchange information with people you may or may not know on Twitter. You could also find some other social network to join so that the multi-dimensional, real-time interactions become a part of you and you become a part of it. The party is waiting for you to arrive!

2. Engage more – There are a lot of different names for them: virtual voyeurs, online lurkers, or Facebook gawkers. While they’ve joined a social network, these people just read what others are posting, and keep to themselves. That’s like going to a party, sitting in the corner and watching people have a good time, listening into their conversations, and ignoring anyone trying to talk to you. If this describes you, then this social media resolution is all about you! There’s a reason social media is called SOCIAL…people engage with each other.  Go ahead and give it a try!

3. Watch the clock – Social media can be really addictive. Especially when you’re starting out. For some, reality and virtual reality get so intertwined that they can’t seem to separate the two. For others, their online connections take precedence over their real-time relationships. If you spend more than two hours a day on social media sites, set a timer for a certain amount of time (15-60 minutes) and once the alarm goes off, log off until the next day. Watching the clock with social media will give you time to pay attention to the more important things of life, like your kids, your spouse and your health.

4. Be interesting – There is a reason people connect with you through social media: they want to get to know you better. Stop hiding behind other people’s quotes or passing on something someone else has posted.  Speak for yourself!  Don’t stress out if nobody responds to your post.  Find your voice and let it be heard (or read) and you’ll be surprised how much more fulfilling social media can be.

5. Branch out – Most people embarked on the online network journey with Facebook. If you feel like you’ve got a good grasp on your Facebook friends, try making connections on LinkedIn, or follow and be followed on Twitter. So many of these sites are interconnected, making it easy to jump from one social network to another, yet each site offers something unique, different and worthwhile. Get adventurous and go explore another social media site – you might be surprised by what you discover!

6. Set up guard rails – There is a line between doing the right thing and wrong thing with social media. The challenge is that there’s no map pointing out where that line is. There’s no set of written rules or a list of proper social media etiquette. Unfortunately, people usually discover the line by crossing it. Be proactive. Set up your own set of boundaries (e.g. rules and etiquette) to protect yourself, your marriage and your family. Guard rails prevent problems from happening, and keep issues from getting out of hand if a problem does arise.

7. Have “the talk”- If you’re in a relationship and involved with social media, then a conversation about how social media impacts your relationship is inevitable. The question is: will the discussion occur before or after a relationship-related issue erupts? By setting up some mutual guard rails, agreed upon time limits and other social media house rules, couples and families can avoid a lot of headache, heartache and hassle. This is not the type of discussion you can text, IM, email, or video chat. You need to get face-to-face and TALK.

8. Go mobile – All the experts predict that in the near future, more people will shift a bulk of their internet and social media experience to a smartphone. Millions of people already access social media sites from their mobile phone. And millions more will make the leap to greater mobility. Why not you? It’s the way of the future for the internet, social media and gaming.  Give it a try!

9. Avoid the drama – We all have them – high-maintenance Facebook friends. They post status updates intended to create a reaction. They comment on updates that spark drama. They have something to say about everything, and nothing is off limits. You cringe when you see their profile picture. This is the year to move beyond “Hide” and discover how to unfriend or block your if-it-were-TV-they’d-be-a-featured-guest-on-Jerry-Springer friend.

10. Show P.D.A. the right way – People post updates as a substitute for a thank you card or to publicly show appreciation to someone. The problem is, their attempt to bring a virtual ego-boost to the person fails miserably and the person never sees the written praises. Make this the year of learning how to correctly hotlink people on Facebook. Just typing their name does not ensure they see it. Add the “@” sign in front of their name and they will see your special display of affection.

11. Give credit where credit is due – Plagiarism is rampant within social media. Cite the source when you’re sharing info, videos, pictures, or links. When using someone else’s update as your own, at least give them credit.  A simple citation of who you got whatever you’re sharing from is the right thing to do.

Play your part in social media and let it play its part in your life!

Take the next step:

Facebook for couples: 8 Things to do today
 Learn to speak your spouse’s love language
What’s your communication style?

The following shows how many of these resolutions are maintained as time goes on:
1) Past the first week: 75%
2) Past 2 weeks: 71%
3) After one month: 64%
4) After 6 months: 46% ⁽¹⁾

But don’t let those stats convince you to plop down on your couch with a bag of chips. People who explicitly make resolutions are 10 times more likely to attain their goals than people who don’t explicitly make resolutions. ⁽¹⁾ So, if you want to lose weight or just get more fit in 2007, then resolving to do so may be beneficial to you. Just make sure you have an action plan that helps ensure your success.

A Department of Labor survey of adults asked them to identify the biggest issue that prevents them from achieving their New Years Resolutions or goals. The top 3 reasons identified were as follows:
1) Procrastinating 33%
2) Lack of discipline 24%
3) No game plan 19%.

Here is a specific action plan for diet and fitness related resolutions that will help eliminate these three top issues.

• Find a positive support system
  For some, family may be just what they need. But, if your family members are struggling with the same diet or weight loss issues as you and aren’t ready to commit themselves to change, then you might want to look elsewhere. Friends may also be an option, but again if they are struggling with their own issues then you might want to enlist other help. Try finding a local support group of like-minded people, go online for a virtual support group or seek out the help of a professional personal trainer or dietician.

• Don’t put off tomorrow what you can do today
  One of the biggest obstacles new dieters/exercises face is just getting started. If you continue to say “I’ll start tomorrow”, then you may find that tomorrow never comes. You repeatedly push it off and before you know it another year has passed by while you remain in the same place you were before. If you promise to start tomorrow, then do it! Don’t allow any other “priority” to get in the way. At the risk of sounding cliché, Just Do It!

• Start a new exercise plan slowly but remain consistentand build up on it. Follow this example:
  • Week 1: Walk for 20- 30 minutes just 2 times per week.
  • Week 2: Increase your walking frequency to 3 times per week. Add in one day of strength training. Try 5-10 exercises to target your entire body.
  • Weeks 3-4: Maintain the three days of walking and increase the strength training to two times per week.
  • Weeks 5-6: Increase the intensity of your walk sessions by increasing the speed and/or increasing the incline. If possible, walk four times per week and strength train 3 times per week.
  • Weeks 7-8: Time to change things up to keep your body challenged and avoid plateaus and burnout. Try adding a different cardio option at least two times per week (swimming, jogging, playing a sport, etc.). For the strength training, try new techniques like pyramids or supersets. You may need to enlist the help of a personal trainer for new ideas.

• Start a new diet plan slowly but consistently.Avoid labeling any foods as “bad”. Eat a variety but in moderation and include more of the nutritionally dense foods.
  • Week 1: Improve your hydration through your daily water intake. Try to consume approximately 64 ounces per day.
  • Week 2: Add in one extra vegetable a day until you are eating 5 servings of vegetables every day.
  • Week 3: Include one serving of lean protein at every meal.
  • Week 4: Limit starches and sweets (simple carbohydrates).

Find more help with weekly dietary guideline advice.

The above exercise and diet recommendations give you a substantial game plan for your first two months. All you have to do is implement it.   Post this action plan on your refrigerator or somewhere else that will force you to look at it every day. And, mark every action on your daily calendar to ensure it doesn’t get bumped by some other priority.

Also, remember that setbacks are normal and should not spell disaster for your resolution. If you are following your game plan 90% of the time and only 10% of the time falling off the wagon, then pat yourself on the back and cut yourself a little slack! If you find yourself starting to really wane from the plan, then tap back into what helped you initially get motivated. Don’t give up. Just start where you can (even if that’s taking a few steps backward) and head toward your goal.

If you’d like the help of a guide who can personally help you reach your goals this year, help is available, and free! Contact an email mentor today and they will help you. (This is a free and confidential service.)

⁽¹⁾ Source: Auld Lang Syne: Success predictors, change processes, and self-reported outcomes of New Year’s resolvers and nonresolvers, by John C. Norcross, Marci S. Mrykalo, Matthew D. Blagys , University of Scranton. Journal of Clinical Psychology, Volume 58, Issue 4 (2002).

Are the people in your house about to embark on another set of New Year’s resolutions?

1. Commit. You might take a step or two in the right direction, but until you are committed, chances are you might turn back. Don’t forget that in order for Providence to move, you have to make that leap of faith first.

2. Get the facts. Gather information. Study. Try to know as much as possible – and more – about your mission.

3. Start doing it in some way or form. Goethe said: “Whatever you can do, or dream you can…begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.” Where you are right now is a good place to start. Mother Teresa started caring for the poor when she saw a need at her front door. Joan of Arc started in her hometown. You might find that your purpose lies closer than you think.

4. Know that there will be obstacles. You will encounter opposition, often from within your own heart. Doubt and disbelief have a way of creeping in, often almost in-noticeably. That’s why it’s so important to write down your discoveries, as well as confirmations and encouraging words as you go along.

5. Get a goal. “Boil your mission statement down to the single most important goal or task,” advises Jones. Then, take steps to achieve it.

The Chinese proverb reminds us: “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” Mary Kay, founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics, said one of the smartest things she ever learned was to write a list of the six most important things to be done the next day.

6.Ask for help. You’ll be amazed at how many people are ready and willing to either help, or if they can’t, direct you to someone who could.

Take the next step:
Start over this year and determine a fresh purpose for your life.
What if you could fulfill your deepest yearnings this year?

New Year’s Resolutions used to be my enemies.

Why is it that we as humans even have this tradition in place?  It inevitably results in failure for me almost every year.  Except for this one.  This year, I have actually attained the goal that I resolved to attain.  Wonder of wonder, miracle of miracles!

My secret to being successful this year was to aim lower than other years.  That way I expect less of myself, and it’s easier to get a win.  You’re probably thinking “Really?  That is how you are going to tell me to live? To aim lower in order to win?”  And to that I say, NO.

What I am trying to express is that people need to be realistic in setting their goals.  Set milestones in your life that are attainable.  If you are able to actually achieve what you are setting out to do, you will walk away happy, with a sense of accomplishment.  More importantly you will feel that there is so much more that you are able to accomplish.  Do not expect the impossible of yourself, or you will feel like a failure when you fail to meet that goal. We were meant to do great things!  Author Erwin McManus said something once that stuck with me “You are not supposed to just passively enter into tomorrow.  You are supposed to be actively engaging in the creation of tomorrow” (watch Erwin speak more about this here).

I often hear people say “ I expect nothing but the best from myself”.  I also believe this.  But what is my best?  When I set goals for myself, am I holding myself up to others’ expectations, or my own?  Setting attainable goals will help you to succeed, and have a feeling of accomplishment.  You will be ready to take more and more on.

When I set out with a goal for myself, I take an inward look to see what is realistic for myself.  This does not by any means go to say that I do not push myself.  If we never push ourselves, we will never grow, never move forward.

When you set a goal that through hard work, and perseverance, you will see positive change happening.  That is why resolutions exist; to succeed at them, to create a positive change in ones life, to further yourself.  I find for myself that once I have achieved one goal, I am eager to move onto the next one and work hard at it.  Small planned steps will get you further than blind leaps.

When I take stock of how I am doing with my New Years Resolutions at this 4-month point, I feel good for the first year ever.  Have I lost 50 pounds? Do I have hair longer than any other person I know?  Am I fluent in Italian? Of course not, those are unrealistic goals that would have set me up for failure, would have created a negative feeling towards myself. However, I have committed to fitness and am exercising weekly.  I don’t have any split ends.  And I can now properly communicate to any Italian that I am in need of a telephone and want to eat an apple.

For me, small steps in the right direction means getting a win in the end.

Is your best ever good enough? Talk to a mentor

1) Spend more time with family
2) Lose weight
3) Quit smoking or stop drinking
4) Do more fun stuff
5) Getting your finances in order

Other popular choices probably include spending more time reading the Bible and/or praying, getting in better shape, improving your marriage, getting out of debt, or serving more at church.

Do you identify with any of these? Maybe you’ve tried some of them in past years, but they’ve fizzled out after a month or two. (Or perhaps a week or two!) You may have even wondered this year, “What’s the point of making a new year’s resolution? I’ve failed in the past, what makes any difference this year?”

Psychologists might term this way of thinking learned helpnessness. This occurs when past failures cause us to think we have no control over the outcome of our own lives. However, this can be conquered! Maybe the problem is that you’ve been trying to do it alone. You might just need someone to walk with you, to encourage you as you strive to better your life.

If you already know someone who would be confident, patient, and trustworthy in a mentorship role, great! However, it can be tough to find someone like that. If you’d like to talk to an online mentor via email, there are mentors standing by to talk with you. It’s free, private, and totally confidential.

Mentors can encourage you to learn more about God and depend more on His strength by the power of the Holy Spirit to reach your goals this year. They can also help keep you accountable to your goals.

> Contact an online mentor today

Upcoming online chat topic: Facing Grief and Loss. Join us January 5, 2010 at 4:00pm EST in the chat room

1) Spend more time with family
2) Lose weight
3) Quit smoking or stop drinking
4) Do more fun stuff
5) Getting your finances in order

Other popular choices probably include getting in better shape, improving your marriage, getting out of debt, finding a more fulfilling job, or spending more time pondering the deeper questions of life.

Do you identify with any of these? Maybe you’ve tried some of them in past years, but they’ve fizzled out after a month or two. (Or perhaps a week or two!) You may have even wondered this year, “What’s the point of making a new year’s resolution? I’ve failed in the past, what makes any difference this year?”

Psychologists might term this way of thinking learned helpnessness. This occurs when past failures cause us to think we have no control over the outcome of our own lives. However, this can be conquered! Maybe the problem is that you’ve been trying to do it alone. You might just need someone to walk with you, to encourage you as you strive to better your life.

If you already know someone who would be confident, patient, and trustworthy in a mentorship role, great! However, it can be tough to find someone like that. If you’d like to talk to an online mentor via email, there are mentors standing by to talk with you. It’s free, private, and totally confidential.  They will be glad to listen and encourage you in whatever you hope to achieve this year.

> Contact an online mentor today

New Year’s Resolution: Make Time for your Kids!
This morning I glanced at my schedule for the coming weekend. Four baseball games and two birthday parties dominate the landscape, along with a list of household chores and errands longer than any one man should have to face. And these are supposed to be my days off! The Bible says that children are a reward from the Lord, and blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them (Psalm 127:4-5a). I have certainly found that to be true. But I’ve also found that the fuller my quiver gets (I’ve got five beautiful arrows), the harder it is to find the time … Read the full story.

Take action: Try the Growing in Faith interactive life lesson.

You said it: This week an anonymous visitor commented on the “Releasing your Regrets” devotional saying, “wow, this nearly brings tears to my eyes. Thank you all for being so honest, and thank you Pastor Warren, for the reminder. God bless.” Join the conversation on the daily men’s devotional and women’s devotional!

Article: Tips for Lay Counselors From Dr. Ginger
As a licensed marriage and family therapist, Dr. Ginger Gabriel of San Bernardino, California is a strong proponent of lay counseling. In fact, she thinks every Christian is called to be a counselor at one level or another.

On the devotional blog: A Different Kind of Resolution by Gail Rodgers
That night Kathy picked up her Bible and read Psalm 25 … The second time she read it through it struck her: Here was her New Year’s resolution! Continue reading…

Coming up next week: We’re talking about Living in an Unstable World. Join us in the chat room January 4 at 10:00pm EST (See also our full chat calendar.)

It’s easy to be negative about it. That calendar flips over and suddenly humanity swells with good intention. Intention that rarely ever sees February.  But maybe this year, instead of making a top 10 list of vague resolutions – lose weight, pay off debt, quit smoking – you could sharpen your pencil, get real, and ask yourself one question.

What is it that I want?

You want to play guitar, swim off the island of Santorini, Greece, help protect leatherback sea turtles or learn Spanish? Well how much do you want it? Because you are the only one who can take the necessary steps to make it happen. You can decide to do these things on any day of the year, but what better time than at the brink of a fresh, clean slate.

Instead of moping about new year’s resolutions, take some advice from H.L. Hunt,

“Decide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange for it. Establish your priorities and go to work.”

What’s on your list of things you want to accomplish, places you want to see, people you want to meet? Are you trying to tackle that list proactively or are you whining at the thought of resolutions?

Image credit: moni

Your New Year’s Action Plan
How often do you make a New Year’s resolution? How often do you actually keep them? The top two resolutions made each year are to become healthier and exercise more. If you’d like to actually achieve your health goals this year, check out these tips from a certified personal trainer on how to make your resolution a reality! Read the full story.

Take action: Start the new year off right by trying the Living With Significance interactive life lesson.

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You said it: This week Debra commented on our recent In Other Words video “A Meaningful Christmas” saying, “My concern for Christmas is for the people that are less fortunate than my family. My prayers and thoughts are with them. It does provide an additional opportunity for us to truly be thankful for all that we have.” Please join the discussion on TheLife.com Blog and share your thoughts with us!

Article: Choosing Abortion
She chose abortion … but now she chooses to spend her time helping people understand the implications of decisions like those she faced.

On the blog: The Top 10 for 2008
Time Magazine has released their list of the top 10 news stories for 2008. Do you agree with their choices?

Coming up next week: We’re talking about Looking Back, Looking Forward. Join us in the chat room January 4 at 10:00pm EST (See also our full chat calendar.)

Eight non-financial tips for retiring boomers

If you’re one of the millions of baby boomers beginning to think about retirement, here are New Year’s tips from expert Ellen Freudenheim, author of Looking Forward: An Optimist’s Guide to Retirement, recommended by the Wall St. Journal Online Encore section:

• Think big: Life’s about more than money
  Take a look at the non-financial dimension of retirement. For the New Year, make a list of what makes you happy – friends, projects, activities. Focus on what makes your life fulfilling – not just what satisfies your bank account.

• Forge your personal path
  Nobody said you absolutely must retire to Florida and play golf. What is it you’ve always wanted to do but never had time for? Start a log of your unfinished agendas, whether that’s learning to play piano or getting in great shape.

• Find your anchor activity
  Identify one or two things around which you can structure your time. Volunteering, retraining for a new career, grandchildren, travel and personal hobbies are all perennials.

• Give back
  Getting involved in volunteer activities is a great way to meet new people, do useful work and put your own life in perspective.

• Make time for fun
  Kick back! Make sure your schedule doesn’t get so busy there’s no time for you! Make time to read, garden, meet new people – and dance!

• Be realistic about finances
  Get a handle on your finances – and if you can’t afford to retire yet, consider partial retirement, plan a way to earn income from your hobbies or downsize your life so you can save more. Start today!

• Invest in your social portfolio
  Retirement is more than just a matter of financial investment. It’s important to invest in your social portfolio – your friends, family, relationships, too.

• Staying healthy = money in the bank
  Health care costs are the bugaboo of everyone’s retirement. So invest in a healthy regimen by getting enough exercise, losing weight if necessary, eating healthily. Exercise staves off depression, keeps your blood pressure down and is even good for your sex life! You may save thousands of dollars in health care costs just by living healthily.