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It’s a subject that none of us want to think about.

Getting started

So let’s do something today that we don’t want to do. Let’s evaluate your estate planning and see if it’s adequate for the job. For the record, I am not an attorney and this is not meant to be legal advice. I have been a financial planner and often referred clients to get competent legal advice. This is meant to do the same.

First, let’s create working definitions for a couple of commonly used terms. “Estate” refers to what financial and physical assets that you own (or partially own) at the time of your death. “Estate planning” is the planning that you do before your death to make sure that your wishes are followed after death. A “will” is the most commonly used document to make your wishes known to those who survive you and any appropriate government authorities.

Estate planning

We’ll begin with estate planning. You’ll need to decide what you want your estate plan to do. Someone will need to be named the “executor” or boss of your estate. They’ll assume the responsibility of executing your last wishes. That person does not need to be a lawyer.
Any adult with good judgment will do. Often a family member is chosen but you may want someone from outside the family like a lawyer or bank to do the job.

You’ll want something that will provide instructions on how to distribute your financial assets and physical property. You may want specific items to go to designated persons. Or you may want to make it clear that certain persons are to be excluded from any inheritance.

If you have children you’ll want to specify who you want to raise your kids. Remember that they’ll need someone to take care of them both physically and to manage their finances until they reach adulthood. Quite often minor children are left financial assets in a parent’s estate.

You’ll also want to consider whether any estate taxes could apply. If so, you may be able to take steps to reduce the tax burden your heirs will face. OK, now that we’ve spent some time thinking about what we want to happen after we’re gone, let’s talk about how we make sure that it does happen.

Wills matter
In most cases the primary document is a ‘will’ or ‘last will and testament.’ A will is a very specific document. It’s not a list of items with names next to them that you keep in your safe deposit box or post it notes pasted on a silver tea service that you want to go to little Sally.

A will is a legal document that contains certain elements that are required by state law. While none of these elements are difficult, failure to include them could invalidate the will. And, to complicate matters, each state has slightly different requirements. Make sure that your will is legal in your state of residence. Have it rechecked if you’ve moved to a new state since it was written.

Many single adults think that they don’t need a will. Typically they’re wrong. Without a will it take could months to have someone assigned to sell a car owned by the deceased or pay any bills. There could even be a problem finding someone to pay funeral expenses.

Another common misconception is that married couples can solve the problem by putting everything into joint accounts. Unfortunately not everything can be titled jointly (think of jewelry or home electronics). And, even if everything is held jointly, what happens if both spouses go in a joint accident?

Dying without a will can leave a real mess. State law will determine who is the executor and how your property will be distributed. That might not produce the results you want. For instance, in some cases law dictates that some inheritance goes to children before the surviving spouse.

It’s especially important for unmarried couples. State laws are a patchwork. In some places they recognize common-law marriage the same as one registered with the state. In other places, a life-long live-in partner is accorded no more rights than a complete stranger.

State laws are also problematic for couples in a second marriage. You may think that certain assets that you brought into a second marriage should go to the children of your first marriage. The state might think otherwise.

Bottom line? Just about everyone who has reached adulthood should have a will.

Making a will

Being frugal it’s tempting to want to write your own will or buy a form where you just fill in the blanks. Normally I encourage do-it-yourself efforts. But in this case that could be a mistake.
Remember that if something isn’t done right no one will know until after you’re gone and can’t correct it. A small mistake could be very costly. This might be one of those cases where hiring a professional is good money management.

That doesn’t mean that you can’t shop around to save some money. If you’ve already thought about what you want your estate plan to accomplish you’ll reduce the number of hours the attorney will spend preparing your will. That will save you some money.

Finally, you’ll want to make sure that your executor has access to a copy of your will when you die. They will need it as proof that they can make decisions for you. Give them have a copy of the will, or, if you’d prefer that they not see it, give a copy to your lawyer and let the executor know who the lawyer is. Don’t put the only copy in your bank box. The bank will not let the executor enter just because they say they have a right. The bank will require proof. And that proof is locked in your box.

Planning for your estate does not need to be expensive. Unless your financial or personal affairs are complicated getting the documents prepared isn’t that expensive. But, it is important. Don’t leave a financial mess as a last memory of you for your loved ones.

Take the next step:

Get control of your finances
Lessons from an economic crisis
5 Things money can do

Bitterness often costs us more than forgiving would

Recently we received a ticket in the mail from the Toronto Parking Authority. It seems we parked one evening at midnight in a no-parking zone, and we owed them $40. There was just one minor detail they overlooked. It wasn’t us. Sure, that was our license plate on the ticket, but we were nowhere near Toronto that night. My husband was working in the Emergency Room, and I was home with the kids two hundred kilometers away. No problem, I thought. I’ll just clear this all up.

That was easier said than done. There was no email address on the ticket, just a regular phone number (not even toll free) to phone during business hours. The only other way to deal with it was to go in person. So I phoned. It was busy. I tried for three days. And then, miraculously, I got an answer. “You are number 24 in line. Your wait will likely be 38 minutes.” So I waited. And waited. Number 17. Number 8. Number 3. And finally, number 1. And as I was being transferred, I heard—a busy signal. I had been disconnected.

In desperation, I called some traffic ticket specialists, figuring they could help me. They told me that if I didn’t pay the ticket on time, the authorities would double the fine, and it would cost me more than $40 to fight it. I could take them to small claims court, they explained, but again, it would cost me more than the price of the ticket. I may as well just pay it. “But it wasn’t me!” I told her. “It’s the principle of the thing!” She told me she understood, but there was nothing I could do.

How could the government just do this to me? I was really steamed. I told everyone my story, and actually found other people who had received similar tickets. “What did you do?” I asked. “We paid.” they said. “We could never get through on that phone number.”

So after a week of worrying about this, I finally realized there was no point. Sometimes you just have to let it go.

Bitterness holds you hostage

A lot of life is like that. We choose to hold on to our grudges, because it’s the principle of the thing. Bitterness, though, doesn’t pay very good dividends. It doesn’t do anything to the person you’re angry at, but it hurts you. You go through life always testing, always suspicious, and never at peace.

Letting go isn’t easy, but it’s a lot better than driving yourself nuts. I could have fought that ticket on principle, but it would have cost me more. Bitterness often costs us more than forgiving would, even if forgiving doesn’t seem fair. Yet Jesus put no limits on forgiveness. Philip Yancey, in his book What’s So Amazing About Grace?, admits that forgiveness is an “unnatural act”. Extending grace to someone who does not deserve it feels just plain wrong. Yet just as Jesus already paid for the guilt we feel, He already paid for everyone else’s guilt, too.

Un-forgiveness is probably the biggest barrier to healing this side of heaven. It takes such humility and strength to say, “I will no longer hold this against you,” and often we just don’t feel up to the task. As hard as it seems, though, it is so much harder to live with bitterness. As speaker Patricia Frances asserts, “un-forgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die.” You may be protecting your need to be right, but you give up your only chance at freedom and peace, and limit what God can do in your family.

Forgiveness does not mean ignoring problems

Forgiveness, of course, does NOT mean that we ignore problems or subject ourselves or our kids to harm. It just means that we choose not to let those problems consume so much of our emotional energy. We let the anger go so we can enjoy the rest of life. Dwelling on such problems and seeking revenge, even if only in your head, only hurts you. You spend your life with such negativity that you don’t even notice the good around you.

I know someone whose wife left him for someone else. It wasn’t a pretty situation. It certainly wasn’t fair. This man, though, now uses his kids to get back at her. He won’t buy them clothes, school supplies, or toys. He tries to minimize his child support payments as much as possible so she has very little money to live on so that she can’t spend on herself. He’s punishing her, he thinks, but really he’s hurting his kids and himself in the process. He’s losing out on his relationship with his children because he’s still so hurt over her.

She did betray him. She did hurt him. But sometimes you have to let it go. It isn’t always easy, and it isn’t always pretty. Chances are, though, that life will be much easier on the other side. The principle of the thing isn’t always worth it. People are. Sometimes that’s hard to swallow, but it’s the best medicine there is.

After finishing this column, I gave that phone number one last try. To my amazement I got through, and they cancelled the ticket immediately. It felt great, but not nearly as wonderful as giving up that anger in the first place.

Then, when we know that we’re not really in the mood for an amazing, earth-shattering experience, we feel like it would be dishonest to go ahead and have sex. So we don’t do anything at all. We roll over and say goodnight and wait for a night where we might actually be breathless and wanting it–even if such nights only occur about every six weeks (or six months), if we’re lucky.

But here’s the truth about female libido: normally we aren’t breathless until we start making love. Our libido isn’t like a man’s; we don’t typically feel “hot” before we start. We usually need some stimulation to help things get going. And interestingly, the more women have sex, the easier it is to become aroused. The less often women have sex, the harder it is to become aroused. It’s not like if we deprive ourselves for a long time, that makes it even hotter. It’s actually the opposite. The less you do it, the less you want to do it. Your body just forgets about its sex drive.

Have you ever heard the term maintenance sex? Maintenance sex is not a Hollywood idea where every encounter is supposedly incredible.  Maintenance sex is a real marriage term. In real marriage I think maintenance sex is important. It keeps the juices flowing, so to speak.  So maintenance sex is not just about pleasing him; it’s sort of like making love as a promise to him and to yourself:  I’m doing this because sex is important in our relationship. I’m doing this because I believe sex is great, even if the earth doesn’t always move for me. And I’m doing this because I know that the earth will move for me soon, even if it’s not tonight.

Now, if the earth NEVER moves for you, check out Why Doesn’t Sex Fell That Good to Me?  To Love Honor and Vacuum, my blog has numerous other articles about women and sex.

Remember that maintenance sex helps him feel good about the relationship, keeps you connected, and helps your own libido. So don’t forget about sex until you really want to. Make love regularly. It doesn’t have to take a ton of time.  Just throw yourself into it, and you’ll likely find that your improved attitude makes it a lot more fun!

How are the two of you doing?

The first thing you need to know is this: a baby won’t fix your marriage struggles. If you feel this is a good way to help your relationship then you are totally wrong. A baby complicates issues. You don’t have to have a perfect marriage, just don’t decide to have a baby as a cure.

Are you physically ready?

Schedule a checkup with your doctor for each of you and tell him/her what you are planning. You can get great advice on vitamins, supplements and discover any problems that need to be dealt with.  Just a heads up, especially for the guys: your sex life will change when baby arrives. You need to be prepared to take a back seat with your needs. Each woman is different but be ready for change.

Are you financially ready?

See a Financial Planner. You don’t need money to talk with a planner and most are free. Tell them your plans and ask for their advice. Ask about Disability Insurance and Life Insurance. Get a second opinion if you want. Start putting aside money right now for the baby’s needs. Talk with friends discretely about what you will need to purchase just to start out. Also make sure you have a current will. Check to see what policies your employer has for Leave of Absence, child care and any other benefits they may offer.

Take a Trip!

It’s great to celebrate your decision as a couple by taking a trip. Make sure you aren’t spending all your “baby” money but have fun!  This could be your last, “just the two of us” trip for some time, so make the most of it.

Waiting for the perfect situation?

Circumstances are never perfect.  For some couples waiting until they can “afford” a baby will launch them well past the age of fertility.  So keep this list in mind but don’t wait for life to be perfect, jump in!  Keep in mind that you afford what is important, both in time and in finances. Your children will be important.  You won’t have all the answers and life won’t be perfect, but you can do it!

So now that you have taken care of those details, end the birth control, learn your cycle and let the “trying” begin!

Take the next step:

Making the transition to motherhood
Choosing a name for baby
Video: And baby makes three
Tips for new Moms 

This is the time of year when many people look at their debt situation and shudder.

They’ll begin with high hopes. But many of them will quit before reaching their goal, disappointed, discouraged and defeated. Is there something that they could have done differently that would have given them a better chance at success? I think so.

You can find all kinds of advice about how to get out of debt. The web is full of the stuff. But, when you boil it all down, there are three things that form a foundation for a get out of debt effort.

1. Don’t expect immediate results. You won’t be getting out of debt in a matter of days or weeks. The only way to eliminate your debts quickly is to inherit a large sum of money, win the lottery or declare bankruptcy. The first two are unlikely. The third may remove debts quickly, but you’ll suffer with a lower credit score for years to come.

Recognize that it will probably take about as long to get out of debt as it took you to get into it. You can speed up the process but you won’t eliminate debt that took 10 years to accumulate in 10 months. You can shorten the time by being aggressive in your payback plan, but it still will be a long process.

What’s the take-away? You need to be prepared for a marathon race. This is not a sprint. If you’re prepared for the long haul you won’t be disappointed and discouraged when a year passes and you haven’t eliminated all your debts. You’ll expect a long battle and be ready to fight it.

2. You need a good plan. A good plan will stand the test of time. The longer you work with a good plan, the more you appreciate its usefulness. There are a number of good plans readily available. You may find that one is particularly well suited to your situation.

Any good plan will have a number of characteristics:

1. It will include all your debts. That’s important to help you see the whole picture.
2. It will help you evaluate exactly how bad your debt situation is. Not only will you know how much you owe, but you’ll know how much it’s costing you in interest each month/year.
3. It will include a priority of which debts to pay off first – smallest to biggest? Highest to lowest interest rate?
4. It will allow you to know how much money you’ll have each month to repay debts.
5. It will free you from having decisions to make each month. You know how much money you’ll have and which debt is being reduced first. The decision is already made. It’s just a matter of executing your plan.
6. It will allow you to calculate an approximate date that you’ll be debt free.
7. It will help you monitor your progress. You should be able to predict where you’ll be 6 months from now. And, then compare your actual results to that prediction.
8. It will take your personality into account. Some people need the motivation of seeing many small accounts being repaid quickly.
9. Others are happier watching the average interest rate their paying decrease each month. A good plan will be tailored to your personality.

A good plan will do all those things. Some offer other bells and whistles. But any good plan should do all of the above things. If your plan doesn’t do them, keep looking for one that does. This job is hard enough with a good plan. Don’t weigh yourself down with a bad one.

3.  Find a way to keep yourself motivated throughout the process. Once again, you’ll need to know what would encourage you when you’re thinking of quitting. For some people, rewards along the way work well. Perhaps a nice dinner or that coffee maker you’ve wanted would be a good reward when your car loan is repaid. Knowing that a reward is within reach could be enough to keep you going.

For others one big reward at the end is the best motivation. I know of people who’ve wanted to go on a cruise for years. They’ve added the cost of the cruise to their debts. And when it’s all paid off they’ll be packing their bags. To remind them now, they’ve posted pictures of cruise ships around the house as a continual reminder.

Getting out of debt is a tough challenge, but it’s a worthwhile one. And it’s one that you can accomplish with the right tools and sufficient determination!

Take the next step:
Managing debt starts with a plan
Digging out of debt 
Take a lesson: How to beat stress

1. Men would rather feel unloved than inadequate and disrespected. Husbands need to know that their wives respect them both privately and publicly. Men thrive when they know that their wives trust them, admire them and believe in them. Shaunti Feldhahn’s research indicated that men would rather sense the loss of loving feelings from their wives than to be disrespected by them.
2. A man’s anger is often a response to feeling disrespected by his wife. When a husband becomes angry with his wife, he may not come out and say, “You’re disrespecting me!” But, there is a good likelihood that he is feeling stung by something his wife has done which he considers disrespectful and humiliating.
3. Men are insecure. Men are afraid that they aren’t cutting it in life — not just at work, but at home, in their role as a husband. They may never vocalize this, but inwardly, they are secretly vulnerable. The antidote? Affirmation. To men, affirmation from their wives is everything! If they don’t receive this affirmation from their wives, they’ll seek it elsewhere. When they receive regular and genuine affirmation from their wives (not flattery, by the way), they become much more secure and confident in all areas of their lives.
4. Men feel the burden of being the provider for their family. Intellectually, it doesn’t matter how much or little a man makes, or whether or not his wife makes more or less money in her career. Men simply bear the emotional burden of providing for their family. It’s not a burden they’ve chosen to bear. Men are simply wired with this burden. As such, it is never far from their minds and can result in the feeling of being trapped. While wives cannot release their husbands from this burden, they can relieve it through a healthy dose of appreciation, encouragement and support.
5. Men want more sex. Everyone’s natural response to this is probably, “Duh!” But, that response is probably for the wrong reason. We primarily assume that men want more sex with their wives due to their physical wiring (their “needs”). But, surprisingly, Shaunti Feldhahn’s research showed that the reason men want more sex is because of their strong need to be desired by their wives. Men simply need to be wanted. Regular, fulfilling sex is critical to a man’s sense of feeling loved and desired.
6. Sex means more than sex. When men feel their wives desire them sexually, it has a profound effect on the rest of their lives. It gives them an increasing sense of confidence and well-being that carries over into every other area of his life. The flipside of this coin also carries a profoundly negative affect. When a husband feels rejected sexually, he not only feels his wife is rejecting him physically, but that she is somehow rejecting his life as a husband, provider and man. This is why making sex a priority in marriage is so incredibly important!
7. Men struggle with visual temptation. This means the vast majority of men respond to visual images when it comes to women. And, this doesn’t just mean the guys with wandering eyes. Even the most godly husband cannot avoid noticing a woman who dresses in a way that draws attention to her body. Even if it is just a glance, these visual images are stored away in the male brain as a sort of “visual rolodex” that will reappear without any warning. Men can choose whether to dwell on these images and memories or dismiss them, but they can’t control when these images appear.
8. Men enjoy romance, but doubt their skills to be romantic. True, many men appear to be unromantic clods, but it doesn’t mean that they want to be that way! Men want to be romantic, but they just doubt their ability to pull it off. They are plagued by internal hesitations, perceiving the risk of humiliation and failure as too high. Wives can do a great deal to increase their husbands’ confidence in their romantic skills through encouragement and redefining what romance looks like. For example, a wife may balk when her husband asks her to go along to the hardware store, but it’s likely that he’s asking because he sees it as a time they can get away as a couple and hang out together. What’s not romantic about that?
9. Men care about their wife’s appearance. This isn’t saying that all men want their wives to look like the latest supermodel. What men really want is to know that their wives are making an effort to take care of themselves (and not letting themselves go) because it matters to them (the husbands!). Husbands appreciate the efforts their wives make to maintain their attractiveness.
10. Men want their wives to know how much they love them. This was the number one response of men. Men aren’t confident in their ability to express this, but they love their wives dearly. Men want to show how much they love their wives and long for them to understand this fact.

Facebook has dominated our world!

If you’ve been on the sidelines waiting for “the fad” to fade or have been dabbling with social media and waiting for the frenzy to die down, it is not going away anytime soon.  Facebook has cemented itself so much into our culture and way of life that it’s here to stay. In this season of new commitments and hopeful promises, here’s a bit of New Year’s advice: get on the social media train!

To help you get more out of social media (and for social media to get more out of you), here are 11 resolutions for you to consider as we kick off a new year:

1. Join the party – If you’ve been a social media spectator until now, start participating. Connect with people you know on Facebook, network with people in your field of business with LinkedIn, or exchange information with people you may or may not know on Twitter. You could also find some other social network to join so that the multi-dimensional, real-time interactions become a part of you and you become a part of it. The party is waiting for you to arrive!

2. Engage more – There are a lot of different names for them: virtual voyeurs, online lurkers, or Facebook gawkers. While they’ve joined a social network, these people just read what others are posting, and keep to themselves. That’s like going to a party, sitting in the corner and watching people have a good time, listening into their conversations, and ignoring anyone trying to talk to you. If this describes you, then this social media resolution is all about you! There’s a reason social media is called SOCIAL…people engage with each other.  Go ahead and give it a try!

3. Watch the clock – Social media can be really addictive. Especially when you’re starting out. For some, reality and virtual reality get so intertwined that they can’t seem to separate the two. For others, their online connections take precedence over their real-time relationships. If you spend more than two hours a day on social media sites, set a timer for a certain amount of time (15-60 minutes) and once the alarm goes off, log off until the next day. Watching the clock with social media will give you time to pay attention to the more important things of life, like your kids, your spouse and your health.

4. Be interesting – There is a reason people connect with you through social media: they want to get to know you better. Stop hiding behind other people’s quotes or passing on something someone else has posted.  Speak for yourself!  Don’t stress out if nobody responds to your post.  Find your voice and let it be heard (or read) and you’ll be surprised how much more fulfilling social media can be.

5. Branch out – Most people embarked on the online network journey with Facebook. If you feel like you’ve got a good grasp on your Facebook friends, try making connections on LinkedIn, or follow and be followed on Twitter. So many of these sites are interconnected, making it easy to jump from one social network to another, yet each site offers something unique, different and worthwhile. Get adventurous and go explore another social media site – you might be surprised by what you discover!

6. Set up guard rails – There is a line between doing the right thing and wrong thing with social media. The challenge is that there’s no map pointing out where that line is. There’s no set of written rules or a list of proper social media etiquette. Unfortunately, people usually discover the line by crossing it. Be proactive. Set up your own set of boundaries (e.g. rules and etiquette) to protect yourself, your marriage and your family. Guard rails prevent problems from happening, and keep issues from getting out of hand if a problem does arise.

7. Have “the talk”- If you’re in a relationship and involved with social media, then a conversation about how social media impacts your relationship is inevitable. The question is: will the discussion occur before or after a relationship-related issue erupts? By setting up some mutual guard rails, agreed upon time limits and other social media house rules, couples and families can avoid a lot of headache, heartache and hassle. This is not the type of discussion you can text, IM, email, or video chat. You need to get face-to-face and TALK.

8. Go mobile – All the experts predict that in the near future, more people will shift a bulk of their internet and social media experience to a smartphone. Millions of people already access social media sites from their mobile phone. And millions more will make the leap to greater mobility. Why not you? It’s the way of the future for the internet, social media and gaming.  Give it a try!

9. Avoid the drama – We all have them – high-maintenance Facebook friends. They post status updates intended to create a reaction. They comment on updates that spark drama. They have something to say about everything, and nothing is off limits. You cringe when you see their profile picture. This is the year to move beyond “Hide” and discover how to unfriend or block your if-it-were-TV-they’d-be-a-featured-guest-on-Jerry-Springer friend.

10. Show P.D.A. the right way – People post updates as a substitute for a thank you card or to publicly show appreciation to someone. The problem is, their attempt to bring a virtual ego-boost to the person fails miserably and the person never sees the written praises. Make this the year of learning how to correctly hotlink people on Facebook. Just typing their name does not ensure they see it. Add the “@” sign in front of their name and they will see your special display of affection.

11. Give credit where credit is due – Plagiarism is rampant within social media. Cite the source when you’re sharing info, videos, pictures, or links. When using someone else’s update as your own, at least give them credit.  A simple citation of who you got whatever you’re sharing from is the right thing to do.

Play your part in social media and let it play its part in your life!

Take the next step:

Facebook for couples: 8 Things to do today
 Learn to speak your spouse’s love language
What’s your communication style?

The carols try to tell us that this is a calm and silent time of year. But for most of us, the weeks leading up to Christmas can be anything but calm. You know the drill: office parties, shopping, baking, wrapping, relatives, Christmas plays and everyone’s favorite - family pictures. It’s enough to leave even the strongest among us exhausted. Can we slow things down a little so we can enjoy the season again? Does anyone have time for that?

Whatever your plans for the season, don’t let them overtake your holiday. Remember Dr. Seuss’s classic tale How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Christmas will come without all the wrappings and bows, it will still come if the turkey isn’t perfect, if your tree is a little lop-sided or the dog decides to help you ‘redecorate’.

There are ways to put a little relaxation back into your Christmas season without adding too much to your busy schedule. As we get closer and closer to the 25th, try a couple of these simple ideas and remember what enjoying the holiday feels like.

1. Host a coloring party. Coloring parties are a tradition I learned from my Mom’s friend Gail. Every Christmas the local hospital sells large (3′ x 2′) coloring books as a fund raiser and Gail uses these as the center of her get together. Friends are invited to bring a little of their Christmas baking and come over for a morning of coffee and coloring. Upon arriving, everyone gathers around the coloring books on the kitchen table and dives into brand new packs of crayons with the glee of five-year-olds. The conversation flows. It is a relaxed, non threatening time, a great way to catch up with old friends, an easy way to get to know new neighbors.
2. Choose one or two people from your list and make their present. Making gifts gives you a great excuse to go off somewhere by yourself for a few hours. Put on your favorite music, light a pine scented candle and enjoy the quiet as you work. The possibilities for hand-made gifts are endless.
3. Attend a local highschool or college concert. Most school bands and choirs put on Christmas concerts and the entrance fee is almost always minimal. Grab a friend or the whole family and support local musicians while relaxing and getting into the Christmas spirit.
4. Read your favorite children’s Christmas story. Find a quiet corner, a cup of cocoa, and favorite blanket and curl up a read the story you most loved as a child. How the Grinch Stole Christmas and The Night Before Christmas are classics, or better yet, read the original Christmas story in the Bible in the book of Luke (Luke 2:1-20).
5. Reflect on the season. Christmas is many things to many people, but at the heart of all the celebrating and festivities is a baby born in a manger. In Bethlehem, two thousand years ago God sent his son into the world. The Bible tells us that Jesus was not sent into the world to condemn it, but to save it. Many churches put on special Christmas pageants that portray the story of Jesus, who he is and what he came to earth to do. Why not take in a performance over the next few weeks and rediscover the true reason for the season?

“Peace on Earth” is a phrase you see everywhere this time of year. For many of us, we have to wonder where that peace is? Who is at peace? What about countries that are at war? Is “Peace on Earth” even possible in this day and age? Peace on Earth is possible, and it can start with you. You can find peace through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

You can receive Christ right now by faith through prayer. Praying is simply talking to God. God knows your heart and is not so concerned with your words as He is with the attitude of your heart. Here’s a suggested prayer:

Lord Jesus, I want to know you personally. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life to you and ask you to come in as my Saviour and Lord. Take control of my life. Thank you for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Make me the kind of woman you want me to be.

If this prayer expresses the desire of your heart, pray it right now and Christ will come into your life as He promised. If you invited Jesus Christ into your life, thank God often that He is in your life, that He will never leave you and that you have eternal life. As you learn more about your relationship with God, and how much He loves you, you’ll experience life to the fullest.

Christmas is a time to remember the gift of love that was given to us. May your days be merry and bright and may the love that sparked the season find you in the days and weeks to come.