“Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us.” (Luke 11:14)

Imagine you’re doing work on a deck and you fall on a rusty nail. It’s a small puncture but you keep working. Meanwhile, anaerobic bacteria begin to metabolize and cause infection. You don’t treat it and soon you have lockjaw, facial spasms, difficulty swallowing, and muscle rigidity. You start to get full body spasms and they continue for weeks until one day you die… if you don’t treat it.

Sin is the same way. It loves to fester in a grudge. The puss and poison of bitterness will eat away at your soul and enslave you… if you don’t treat it.

But treating it is hard. It’s open-heart surgery. We feel justified in our grudges! We think our bitterness is warranted and our rage is necessary for justice. Justice? Consider our Lord Jesus Christ:

He was crushed for our iniquities.

He took up our pain.

He bore our suffering.

He was stabbed for our sin.

His punishment brings us peace.

His wounds heal us.

We receive unwarranted forgiveness every day. We must also give it. The giving and receiving are two in one. Love God and your neighbor by accepting forgiveness and also forgiving.

Recall the people who have hurt you. Have you forgiven them? Reach back in your memory to your childhood and ask, “Does hate still linger there?”

Don’t listen to the voice that tells you, “Things are fine, let’s move on.” Search your heart. Ask the Holy Spirit to search you as well. Uproot and kill the weeds of hate in your soul and humble yourself before God and man. Ask for forgiveness and be made new right now.

Lord, I understand that my salvation is not fair. You forgave me when I did not deserve it. And so, as I have been forgiven, so I must forgive. Holy Spirit, help me give up my grudge. Draw out the poison from my heart. In Jesus’ name I rebuke the unclean spirits in my heart and confess I have allowed them to fester. I repent and ask that you Lord Jesus to make me new. Cleanse me oh God from all unrighteousness. I trust you to heal and cleanse me and praise you for being the Great Physician. Amen.

Do find yourself drifting away from God? Talk to one of our mentors about that.

“A perverse heart shall depart from me” (Psalm 101:4).

Susan had wanted the photo to be perfect. But it came back distorted and she realized she had moved at just the wrong moment.

Distortion is subtle. We often don’t know its happening. It’s a bending or twisting out of shape. It can happen in conversations, in creative projects, in paintings and in photos. It often isn’t even noticed at the time.

My husband laid some hardwood floor in our house last week. At one point several rows were down and we noticed an end in one of the boards had twisted out of place and a sharp edge appeared where it should have been smooth. Immediately he reworked the area to remove the distortion. It seemed small but in the overall view it would have distorted the look of the whole floor.

It’s much the same with our hearts. Jagged edges pop up of resentment, anger, negativity, self pity and any number of little things we rationalize away. Left alone they will create a distortion in our hearts that will interfere with the picture God wants to paint of our heart in connection with Him.

Psalm 101:4 says “A perverse heart shall depart from me.”

In the original Hebrew language the word “perverse” means “distorted” and the word “depart” suggests to “sour” or “decline”.

Normally we would never view our Christian hearts as perverse and departing from God.

We recoil at the thought! But here we are warned to be careful we don’t let our hearts become distorted. It can cause a heart to become sour and decline away from our God. Distortion is so subtle.

Are you feeling a sourness in your heart? Is there a slight decline away from your God and you are puzzled by it? Ask God today to show you if there is a distortion in your heart that you have allowed to come in by resentment, hurt, or some emotion or circumstance that has caused your trust in your God to falter just a bit. Ask for forgiveness and let God know you want a pure heart so you can see Him undistorted.

Father God, I confess to You that I have allowed distortion of my view of You to creep into my heart by some relational or circumstantial difficulty I have experienced. I recognize my potential for a sour heart that can decline away from You. I don’t want that Lord. I ask that You would forgive my wrong attitude and heal my hurt. May I see You clearly and draw near to You with a pure heart today. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

Questions: Do you find yourself drifting away from God? Has your attitude become sour over time? Let’s spend some time asking God to forgive us and to heal our hurt so that we can again draw close to Him.

About the Author Gail Rodgers

“I do not trust in my bow, my sword does not bring me victory; but you give us victory over our enemies…in God we make our boast all day long, and we will praise your name forever.” (Psalm 44:6, 7)

We all know the story of David and Goliath how a young shepherd boy defeated a strong, experienced warrior almost twice his height using a smooth stone and a slingshot.

But there was another giant David defeated that day: the giant of family discord.

When his elder brother heard of David’s desire to fight the giant, he rebuked him sharply, “Why have you come down here? And with whom did you leave the few sheep in the desert? I know how conceited you are and how wicked your heart is; you came down only to watch the battle.” (1. Samuel 17:28)

Being unjustly accused, David could have allowed hurt feelings to dominate him. He could have stomped off in a huff and gone home ruminating on negative thoughts: The very people who ought to support me, doubt me. They always twist everything I do and say. They never believe in me. They always think the worst of me. In their books I don’t count.

Have you ever been caught up on this treadmill?

What happens? Dwelling on the negative leads to resentment and bitterness.

Had David gone that route, he would have missed out on a wonderful opportunity to see God at work through him.

Do you feel forsaken by friends and family? Then listen to what Paul writes to Timothy, when he felt forsaken and alone, “But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength.” (2. Timothy 4:16)

With the LORD on our side, we’re not alone. Like David and Paul, we can move ahead and gain the victory.

Father, I release my family from the expectation to help me. I want to move ahead in your name. I depend on your strength to see me through and to win this battle.

Question: How has God comforted you when you’ve felt forsaken in the past?

About this Author: Helen Grace Lescheid

How many sentences stick out in your mind as those that took aim at a dream or challenged a purpose or pulled down a belief? Maybe one, maybe a dozen. It could be the story of your life – time and time again, your dreams fell prey to haphazard words and stinging remarks.  It could remain the story of your life or you could take these words, examine them for any worth and keep going. See, that’s the key with words. They have power, but only as much as you give them. So the great question is: how much power are you giving them?

For me, I escaped the junior high teasing and the last name mangling. The worst I got was the grade school song about being paired with a boy and “sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g”. I am so thankful I didn’t have to learn the power of negative words until I was old enough to better handle them.  I say that because, now at 24, I’ve taken in a few sharp jabs this year. The sharpest took a direct shot at my future and my dreams. I have a strong and healthy relationship with the person who said them, maybe that’s why it stung, because it was so unloving and out of character.

Careless words

I had just returned from traveling, and was telling family friends some stories. The question that inevitably follows is, “What are you going to do now?” Since I am forever full of wanderlust dreams, my mouth dove headfirst into my thoughts of places like Cambodia, Nepal and India. I mentioned my hope to grab my backpack, book a one-way flight and just go. The response? “Ah, well, someday you’ll stop trying to swim upstream.”

I couldn’t believe it. I felt like I had been asked to give up on my dreams, to be quiet and to let resignation run through my veins instead of adventure. I was too shocked to say anything at all. So I didn’t say a word. I just avoided responding and conversation turned to something else.

There were a lot of mixed feelings left in the wake of those words. In part, I was hurt and I was also quite angry. Then asked myself these questions: Why did they say that? Was it intentional? Do they know how that made me feel?  Words affect us. They linger.  When these words stuck around, I had two choices – take them to heart, or throw them out.

Take them to heart

I could have absorbed them right into my heart and allowed them to start tearing down my confidence. Negative thoughts and words can easily take the place of positive ones.   Before you know you’re repeating someone else’s unchecked words to yourself instead of strong assurances. Just one comment and out goes what you believed you could do.

Recognize their worth, and then throw them out

For me, it took about one night’s sleep to see right through these words. If someone points out that you’re fighting your way upstream, they’re most likely riding with the current and doing what everyone else is doing. There are a million reasons why they could have said it, but one thing is for sure: it wasn’t encouraging. It’s enough of a challenge to fight the current without people discouraging you from doing so.  I decided that I’m not going to make it any even bigger challenge by letting the noise of others’ opinions slow me down. Not now, not ever. Those words had no value so out they go.

Making a choice

I had a choice. You do too. You can choose to let discouraging words rip your dreams apart and make you feel small or you can refuse to let words with no value affect you. Be prepared to continue to make this choice over and over because, people are going to say reckless and off-handed things to you your whole life. The words could be about your purpose, appearance, choices or dreams. We’re human and no one will ever have complete control over their own tongue. But whatever they are taking aim at, it will always come down to a choice on your part.

So where do you stand today? Are you harboring hurt feelings over something that has been said to you? What particular instances or words still ring in your head? Take whatever words are coming to mind and look at how they have affected you and the emotions they evoke. If they stir up anger, revenge, bitterness, pain, or anything resembling heartache, then they are still hurting you now, long after they’ve been said. Acknowledge them and decide what to do with them.

Take them to heart? They will keep you small and continue to replace positive and true things that would serve to spur you on.  Recognize their worth and throw them out? That would require you facing them square-on and choosing to believe that they have no truth or influence over you. Leaving words behind in the dust is a conscious choice.

Choosing to act

If the words are still painful, they might be something you need to talk about with the person who said them. Not a confrontation or an argument, just a simple acknowledgment between two people. It gives you the opportunity to express how their words hurt your heart and it also gives the other person an opportunity to be aware of how their words affected you. Maybe they had long forgotten their remark and had no idea their words still lingered.

Either way, you need to bring those words under a microscope. If all they do is dictate what you’re incapable of doing or how silly your dreams are or make every imperfection you’ve ever felt stand out, then why are you hanging on to them? They don’t strengthen you or make you believe in yourself, so they need to go.

Today could be the day that you release your heart and your mind from the echo of hurtful words. I did. I’ve never looked back and wondered, “Could they be true?” I knew that they weren’t and kept going. I challenge you to do the same. Clean out the tapes of painful remarks and usher out their influence. Trust me, you won’t look back.

Looking for further help to balance your life? Or would you feel better talking out your situation with a patient listener?

More on communication:

5 Levels of communication
Where do we go from here?
Asking the right questions

Image credit: harold.lloyd (a most unexpected happening)

I found myself resenting Paula (not her real name), and feeling sorry for myself because I had to put up with her cutting remarks.  Such things are known as abuse, and can quite ruin one’s day!

“Lord, how can I handle this?” I asked.  “I want to live peacefully with everyone but it’s hard not to answer back.  And when I don’t, it sort of lays on me like a rock!”  It was hard also not to harbor resentment and anger toward Paula.  But I knew if I did that, it would rob me of peace and perhaps cause me to respond in kind.

Light From God’s Word

As I talked to the Lord, Proverbs 15:1 came to my mind: “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (NIV).

Then I remembered Jesus’ teaching in the Sermon on the Mount about how to deal with those who hurt us.  I decided to pray for Paula and seek God’s help in being especially friendly and thoughtful toward her.

It worked!  Before long she and I became good friends, and what a difference it made in my work day!  When my husband took another church and I left my job at the bank, Paula threw a wonderful going-away party for me!

Thus I found that love is God’s answer to hostility.  What?  Me love that unpleasant person who hurts me?  Yes.  The Lord Jesus gave this recipe in Matthew 5:44.

First, he told us to love our enemies and bless them.  This sure runs against our earthly grain, doesn’t it?  But the Lord can help us do that.  And here’s how: Jesus also tells us to pray for our enemies.

As I have prayed for Paula and others who have hurt me, the Lord has helped me realize that something in their background has probably contributed to the way they speak and act.  Often they are miserable people.  This gives me a feeling of compassion for them and makes it easier to forgive and pray for them.

The Lord also told us to return good for evil.  As we do this we will see God at work.

Heavenly Father,
You know the places where I find it hard to respond with Your love and kindness. Please fill me with Your Spirit today so that I might have gentle words on my lips and prayers for those who are a challenge to love. Amen.

Questions: Is there someone in your life that is hurting you but who needs your love and your blessing? How will you begin returning good for evil?

About the Author Muriel Larson

Daily audio podcast: A second daily devotional, Hopefully in Love, today on the Men’s Devotional Blog

Join us for our Daily Devotional Chat today in our Women’s Chatroom at 10:30am EST.

When I lived in an unhappy situation, I had a recurring dream. I would be in the seashore town where I grew up, trying to go crabbing but never able to do so. I’d wake up feeling frustrated.  When I prayed, God showed me that I longed to go back to the carefree days of my youth. As I accepted that I couldn’t do that, the frustrating dream disappeared.

We can’t go back to the past. We can’t undo the mistakes we made. Unfortunately, many live with guilt for years. But God provided a way of deliverance for us: First John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

If our guilt is caused because of people we hurt, how can we be delivered from that oppressing memory? Well, Jesus said, “Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). Take your burden of guilt to Jesus and let Him lift it from your shoulders and bring you rest. If there is any action you need to take you can rest assured that He will guide you and help you.

In the present, many people live burdened down by depression, defeatism, anger, and resentment. They may suffer from some handicap, some tragic loss, an abusive marriage, rage that has simmered in their hearts since childhood.

We can take the vicissitudes of life two ways: we can either allow them to make us angry, bitter, and frustrated, or we can rise above them with God’s help, love, and grace.

Our lives may be hampered by deep-down anger and hostility toward persons who hurt us when we were younger. This can hurt our present relationships. I once attended a  Conference at which one woman’s test score revealed that her hostility almost went off the chart! “I don’t think I’m hostile,” she exclaimed angrily. Then she added, “But my family does!”

If our relationships are not right with others, let’s examine ourselves for old wounds and grudges. Let’s pray as King David did: “Cleanse me from secret faults.”  As we forgive those who hurt us, healing will come. Easy? NO! But we can hold them up and say, “Lord, help me to forgive them and pray for them, as you said.” And He will.

Serving the Lord and others can lift us out of ourselves, out of grieving, sadness, and gloom—and make our lives worth living.

Although our past and present may have been clouded by unpleasant things, we can look forward to our futures with hope and joy! We can leave Romans 7 behind, as Paul did, with its pessimistic self-centeredness and defeat. At the end of that chapter Paul exclaimed, “What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God–through Jesus Christ our Lord!” (Romans 7:24-25).

Paul moved then into Romans 8, his victory chapter, where he is seen living in the Spirit, instead of the flesh. There he exclaimed, “In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us” (vs. 37).

Ridding ourselves of the dead wood in our lives, dying to self and committing ourselves to the Lord, we step into the new life of love, peace, and joy that Christ promised us. Now we live for Him and others. We can press toward the mark for the high calling of God in Christ Jesus (Philippians 3:14).

Lord, please help me to live in Your love and shine for You.  I want to  lay up treasures in heaven. Thank you that I can look forward to enjoying everlasting life with You in a wonderful world of peace and joy!   Work in me to heal my past and my present and may Your love flow through me to others. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.

My website

Questions: Are you holding on to your past? Do you have deep-down anger and hostility toward persons who have hurt you in the past?  How do you rid yourself of the dead wood?

About the Author Dr Muriel Larson

Daily audio podcast: A second daily devotional, Triumph in Tragedy, today on the Men’s Devotional Blog

If you are hurting from the pain of a divorce or loss of a loved one, we care and want to pray for you.

Join us for our Daily Devotional Chat today in our Women’s Chatroom at 10:30am EST.

Sometimes we find our world shaken from the challenges that come with emotional hardship. It can be devastating. We can feel helpless when our world is shaken emotionally by disunity that puts relationships on edge.

In the steps to stability that God outlines for us, we find a strong call to live in unity with one another.

“See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many” (Hebrews 12:15).

When your world is shaken by emotional turmoil, guard your heart from harboring a bitter root. God tells us that it will show up when we least expect it and cause no end of trouble.

Be on your guard to keep unity in the relationships in your life. Bitterness cannot take root without first planting the seed of hurt and watering the sprouts of resentment. Watch for this cycle that begins in the heart.

• Hurt – We all experience it and we often cause it. When we find our heart has been bruised by hurt we can choose our response.

o    We can let it go, knowing the heart of the offending person was not set on causing us pain.
o    We can choose to forgive even if the offender meant to hurt us.
o    We can nurse the hurt in our heart and allow it to grow. This choice begins a destructive cycle.

• Resentment will be the result – When resentment is left to stew in our heart it becomes a filter for all interactions with the other person. This must be dealt with before God and sometimes with the other person. If left, resentment will smolder.

• Anger is the result. Anger can manifest itself in many different ways. Harsh talk, depression, general meanness, blocked communication and even violence can be signs of an inward anger. Left alone it will continue to grow.
o    Intervention is often needed here to discover what has caused the hurt and resentment that continues to fester.

• Bitterness is the result of anger not dealt with. Bitterness will show up at unexpected times and in hurtful ways. Relationships will become tarnished and the cycle of hurt will begin all over again in the lives of others.

God calls us to unity. Deal with hurt as soon as it happens. Go first to God and if He directs you, then go to the other person. Clean it up and get rid of it. The cost of disunity is much too high.

If hurt has grown into resentment, acknowledge it and ask God to help you defuse it in your heart. Consider talking to a trusted friend who will pray with you and for you.

If anger is causing tension in your life or if bitterness has soured your soul, seek out a counselor who can help you work through the steps to understand your hurt. Find someone who will pray with you and for you.

God’s desire is for your heart to be free. Acknowledge hurt when it happens and choose your response carefully. God will be your rock and your help as you work it through.

Father in Heaven,
I need Your help to deal with the hurts that come my way. Show me how to let Your grace flow through me. Show me how to discern the heart of the one causing the hurt. When their heart is not set against me, help me to be able to release the hurt to You. When someone is set to hurt me, help me to be filled with Your grace and to forgive. Keep me mindful of this cycle that builds toward a bitter root. Give me grace to live in unity by the power of Your Holy Spirit. Replace the sandpaper in my relationships with the oil of Your Spirit.  In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.

Questions: How do you deal with hurt in your life? Why is it so important to deal with hurt immediately instead of nursing it? Do you struggle with anger?

About the Author Gail Rodgers

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“The joy of the Lord is your strength” (Nehemiah 8:10).

Think about the professing Christians you know. There’s Jenna, always bubbling with joy and enthusiasm for the Lord. You may almost envy her for her relationship with Jesus Christ.

Sometimes you may not be able to understand the joy she maintains—like the difficult time she went through when her mother was in the hospital, or the problems a feisty relative has been giving her. Why doesn’t she get angry, worried, or depressed, like most people would? How can she stand there in church with a joyful smile on her face while singing a praise song? If you ask her about it, she exclaims, “Oh, I’m looking up!”

You also notice that Jenna loves to talk about the Lord and speaks of Him as though He is with her all the time. You sense that she is truly trusting in her living Lord.

And then, of course, there’s Monica. Every time something goes wrong for her you can see it written all over her face and hear it in her complaints.

FROM DESPAIR TO JOY

When Jesus died on the cross, His disciples became the most sorrowful people in the world. But when they saw Christ after He rose from the grave, their hearts were filled with joy.  When we realize He is alive and present in our lives, we know the joy Christ promised to His followers.

WHAT ROBS US OF JOY

*ANGER, BITTERNESS, RESENTMENT robs us of joy.  How do we get rid of these hurtful feelings? By forgiving those who hurt us. See Ephesians 4:32.

*LACK OF FAITH robs us of joy. “God let me down; He allowed this to happen,” is a Satanic implant. Christians like Jenna reject such self-pity. Instead they claim Proverbs 3:5: “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” Doing that restores joy.

*DISCOURAGEMENT robs us of joy. We start dwelling on our troubles instead of looking to the Lord. Joyful Christians trust that God will work all things for good in their lives.

*SIN robs us of joy-that means disobedience of any kind.

TRUE JOY

Do you long to know real joy? The Bible says, “Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded” (James 4:8-9).

Jesus Christ said, “If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete” (John 15:10-11).

If you really want that joy of the Lord, read John 14, 15, and 16 to find out what else Jesus said.

Our Lord is in the transforming business. If we turn our lives over to Him completely, He comes into them, cleans them up, and makes us into new persons. And as we walk with Him and grow in Him, He makes us more and more like Himself—loving, joyful, and caring.

Questions: It’s easy to talk about our having joy, but what if we’re living in a bad, depressing situation? I’m angry about all the bad things people have done to me. How can I have joy?

About the Author: http://talk.thelife.com/experience/devotionalforwomen/authors/muriel-larson/