“Hockey season? Oh no, I just lost him again.” “Football every Sunday, and Monday?!”

This difference of opinion can be detrimental to a relationship, so I have a suggestion for the women, and one for my fellow men, that could make this a winning season for you both.

First the guys: Heads up, your wife relates differently than you. Although you can be in the same room with a group of guys, say nothing but “Oh ya! NO, NO, NO!! Hit him! Yes!” for three hours and feel that you have deeply connected (and if you’re cheering for the same team, bonded), realize that most wives do not share the same connection response capabilities. Yes it is surprising, but true.

So here is the plan: Initiate time to listen to her. Don’t glaze over on me! Women connect through verbal exchange, sitting facing each other instead of side by side watching a screen. I realize this is scary but you did just fine when you were dating. This week, plan a Starbucks date or even just a walk. Suck it up and be a man, you can do it. You might be surprised how meeting her need for connection on a regular basis will make her more willing to let you enjoy the game next time.

Now the women: Most guys speak, not through verbal exchange, but through doing things together. “What! Do you want me to watch the game?” That would work but only if he wants it. Having the guys over to burp, yell, eat junk food and do other rude things are bonding mechanisms for guys but having a woman present could hinder the process. Try to think of it the other way around: imagine your husband joining you and your friends when you go out for coffee and how that would change the dynamics, and the conversation. Don’t take it personally if he’d prefer some all-guys time.

Here is the plan for you: Do something with him, an activity he enjoys. One woman went out to the garage and read a book while her husband worked on his car. She was just there and he loved it! It may confuse your husband at first, but that woman’s husband said, “I don’t know what you are doing, but don’t stop!”

So, one thing each: Guys initiate time to talk this week, without the tv on. Women initiate doing something with (or at least near!) your man this week. I’d love to hear the results even if things didn’t go as planned.

More to Read
Romancing your wife
Paul Henderson: The goal of my life
Go for gold in your sex life

Taekwon Do is a great way to build up muscle tone, flexibility, and lose a few pounds. Practicing martial arts can help develop discipline, reduce stress, and can even help you feel safer by learning self defense moves. It’s an activity that the whole family can enjoy together – students range in age from 5 to 60 or even 70 years old.

Taekwon Do is an internationally recognized sport with competitions held around the world. Based in Vienna, the International Taekwon Do Federation is the oldest Taekwon Do association in the world.

Rod Johnson is a full time martial arts instructor with 27 years martial arts experience and a former Western Canadian champion. His teaching style is positive, inclusive, organized and humorous. He encourages students to excel in all areas of their lives through developing focus and commitment to their martial arts training. Rod believes that the key to a student’s success in martial arts is to create a comfortable learning environment where each student feels welcome and appreciated.

Ready For More?
On the blog: Make a run for it
Work out your stress

Raising a Basketball Player
Many Christian parents find themselves now faced with the question “how do I support my child’s dream, perhaps even her real ability, while instilling in her the tools she’ll need to live out her Christian faith on and off the court?” There’s no perfect formula, there are some tools you can use early on to expose them to good influences, role models, education and the opportunities to practice living out their faith through their love of basketball. Read the full article.

Take action: We have dozens of free online interactive life lessons available, like the “Growing in Faith” series. Why not try one today?

You said it: This week kanj shared on the “Let Go to Grow” devotional, saying “my walk with God presently would be that of the ‘lingerer’. my journey with God began and for the life of me at the time, I could not understand why? but He did understand, I’m here today and His grace and mercy keep me starving at all times now.” Join the conversation on the daily men’s devotional and women’s devotional!

Article: If God is in Control, then Why …
What do you do when the roof falls in? I hate failure and disappointment. Why does God allow these things to happen to me if He’s really in control? God often allows failure to point us to one critical truth … we can’t live the Christian life on our own. Throughout our lives, there will be times when God will place us in situations that will cause us to realize our insufficiency and make us depend on Him. Some thoughts for when you’re going through difficulty. Read more

Devotional: Let God’s Light Through
Imagine a lamp. God is like the light bulb, the source of light, and we are like the lampshade. While it may seem strange to compare God to a light bulb, we’re told in scripture that “God is light; in him there is no darkness at all.” (1 John 1:5). And while I admit it may be difficult to imagine yourself as a lampshade, stay with me. … Continue reading this devo on the men’s devotional blog

Coming up next week: One of the topics of our upcoming online chats is “If someone gave you enough money to start a business of you own, what kind of business would you start?” Join us in the chat room March 21st 2009 @ 12:15 pm EST for this chat or see also our full chat calendar for other upcoming topics.

President Barack Obama, who can still go strong to the rim in pickup games, announced his NCAA picks just before leaving for California on Wednesday. In a first for an American president, he did it with an appearance on ESPN, the popular cable sports channel. It’s risky business, sure to please and anger sports fans around the country. Lucky for Obama, the election is long over.

The first fan will be trying to catch parts of tournament games as he travels, but here Obama has a big advantage. “Air Force One has DirecTV,” he told ESPN. [Mercury News]

Although it’s nice to see the president is in touch with popular cultural phenomenons and actually makes time in his busy schedule for a little recreation, a lot of people probably will react like Duke coach Mike Krzyzewski who commented that “as much as I respect what he’s doing, really, the economy is something that he should focus on, probably more than the brackets.” [ABC News]

Do you agree with his picks? (You can see Obama’s NCAA 2009 picks here on the ESPN site.) How do you feel about Obama’s recent ESPN appearance? Is it lighthearted and fun encouragement, or not taking the severity of the economic situation seriously enough?

Many Christian parents find themselves now faced with the question “how do I support my child’s dream, perhaps even her real ability, while instilling in her the tools she’ll need to live out her Christian faith on and off the court?”

There’s no perfect formula for raising a child to embrace their own personal relationship with Jesus. There is no promise that your efforts to honor God as you raise them will result in an adult who will share their faith boldly. But there are some tools you can use early on to expose them to good influences, role models, education and the opportunities to practice living out their faith through their love of basketball.

We can offer some practical resources as a jumping off point for your job of raising a basketball star who will view the court as his mission field.

Role Models

• Sue Stewart: “I thought basketball would take care of my insecurities”
• Pete Maravich: “I decided once I got the ring, I’d have time for God”
• NC State Wolfpack coach Kay Yow, 1942-2009
• Amare Stoudemire
• Coach John Wooden
• … more role models on Beyond The Ultimate

Camps, Internships & Opportunities

• Athletes In Action Canada’s basketball camps near you
• Athletes In Action USA basketball camps for all ages all over the country
• Friday Night Basketball: A place for kids to learn the fundamentals and build character
• AIA Internships for the college or university athlete
• Encourage your older child that, with practice, they could be part of an international team tour with AIA US
• Endless opportunities with AIA to grow is skill as a play while growing in character as a Christian

For Parents: It Starts With You

• Article: The art of asking great questions
• Get involved with your child: Consider volunteering
• If the coach is a Christian, encourage him to attend the annual Final Four event
• Daily Devotional: Passing on our faith to our kids
• Involvement in sports creates a busy schedule. Make quality time with your kids

Prayer

• Breakthrough Prayer Ministry
• Connect with an email prayer mentor who can come alongside you in praying for your kids
• Let your 16-21 year old know how they can talk to a  Teen & Young Adult Mentor

One former player who spent almost 20 years involved in competitive sports gave this advice to parents,

“Get to know your kid’s coach. Especially at a young age this person will have a huge influence on you child. You need to be confident that the coach has standards and a vested interest in the discipline of his team, on and off the court. Getting involved with the teams your kids play with, as a manager or team parent, might also be a good way to be-in-the-know about the influences, experiences and pressures your kids are exposed to.”

It is important for every Christian parent to remember that your child will look to you as their first example of what living a life of faith looks like. Before their friends, teammates and coaches become their bigger influences, take hold of the opportunities to live out your faith in front of your kids. God gave us His wisdom through Solomon who said, “Point your kids in the right direction— when they’re old they won’t be lost.” (Psalm 22:6 as paraphrased in The Message)

Let them see your example and they will have a firm foundation to take into the competitive world of sports.

The Dominicans were considered one of the favorites to win the event, but they could not overcome a team with a modest baseball tradition. The Dominicans had a speedy chance for redemption against the Netherlands, who jolted them, 3-2, on Saturday, and they did not grab it. … “It’s a miracle,” the Netherlands Manager Rod Delmonico said. “That’s all I can tell you.” (Source: New York Times)

The improbable early exist for the Dominican Republic and the unexpected success of the Netherlands team will enter sports history. Why do we so often root for the underdog? Perhaps we see ourselves in their valiant and rarely but oh so sweetly triumphant struggles.

Heroes: At What Cost?
NFL football coach Vince Lombardi, known for his quotes about the importance of wining, once quipped “If winning isn’t everything, why do they keep score?” With pressure like this on individuals (and athletes in particular) to be successful, is it any surprise that many turn to illegal performance enhancing drugs to improve their abilities? What does God think about using such “performance enhancers”? Read the full article.

Take action: A real measure of success is not how full your wallet is, what kind of car you drive, or whether you have a fancy title. Try our free online interactive study “Living With Significance“?

You said it: This week Tracey shared on the “Power to Know the Love of God” devotional, saying “It seems no matter where we are in our lives or where we are in our walk with Jesus – our path becomes clouded or filled with fog. These past couple of weeks have been ones of endurance for me. The devil has thrown many-many-many obstacles in my path and has now resorted to attacking not only me personally and physically but now my family as well. I broke today and began shouting out to God for … something … anything … Just wanted to feel His presence in a real and tangible way. As always He broke through: using the people around me and this devotional.” Join the conversation on the daily men’s devotional and women’s devotional!

Article: Mom Needs a Timeout Too
Do you ever find yourself craving some “me” time? Ever wish that every time you walk into the bathroom there wasn’t an extra set of feet following you? Have you experienced that pounding from the other side of the door and someone yelling, “Mom! Are you in there?”

On the devotional blog: Loving and Letting Go
Praying on bended knee is an act of stillness, of submission and trust, for no amount of running interference, offering advice or encouragement will orchestrate the ideal situation. Read more on the women’s devotional blog

Coming up next week: This week we conclude our series of What is Love? chat sessions. Join us in the chat room February 28th 2009 @ 12:15 pm EST for the final chat in the series! (See also our full chat calendar.)

NFL football coach Vince Lombardi, known for his quotes about the importance of wining, once quipped “If winning isn’t everything, why do they keep score?” With pressure like this on individuals (and athletes in particular) to be successful, is it any surprise that many turn to illegal performance enhancing drugs to improve their abilities? What does God think about using such “performance enhancers”? First we need to understand what steroids are, and the potential risks stemming from their use.

Pressure to succeed

Alex Rodriguez, signed to a ten year, $252million contract with the New York Yankees, admitted in February 2009 that he took steroids while he was with the Texas Rangers. During a news conference, he implicitly admitted to lying in a 2007 CBS 60 Minutes interview where he denied that he ever took steroids.¹ Not only has he risked his health, his reputation has irreversibly suffered. And throughout the country, parents are no doubt having long talks with their major-league hopeful children who may be confused about this latest sports related drug controversy.

Heroes are, generally speaking, successful. And since there is tremendous pressure for athletes to succeed, they may be tempted to turn to banned substances such as anabolic-androgenic steroids (AAS) to enhance their performance. Abusing AAS is known to potentially cause many negative side effects such as²:

• For men. Reduced sperm count, infertility, baldness, development of breasts, increased risk for prostate cancer.
• For women. Growth of facial hair, male-pattern baldness, changes in or cessation of the menstrual cycle, deepened voice.
• Users may suffer psychiatric dysfunction, including depression, violent mood swings, paranoid jealousy, extreme irritability, delusions, and “impaired judgment stemming from feelings of invincibility.”

AAS can also be addictive. Given all of these health risks, it’s surprising to hear when famous athletes get caught using steroids. Besides being potentially quite harmful, use of these drugs is also banned in professional sports.

Made in God’s image

As Christians, we should be concerned with taking care of our bodies. Paul asks rhetorically “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?” then follows up with an answer: “You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20) We shouldn’t give in to shortcuts in a misguided attempt to “get ahead.” Jesus once asked the crowd that gathered to hear him speak: “What good is it for you to gain the whole world, yet forfeit your soul?” (Mark 8:36, TNIV) Therefore, we should seek to avoid anything which causes our body harm.

Christians should care about our health because God has entrusted our bodies to us to use in service of Him. Don’t be tempted to resort to dangerous measures to try to live up to secular society’s aspirations of how you should look.

The apostle Paul struggled with a “thorn in [his] flesh.” When he appealed to God in prayer, he was told “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness,” leading Paul to say “I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians  12:7-10) Remember that “God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.” (1 Corinthians 1:27) So while we should be willing to work hard to improve ourselves, we should not feel ashamed at our weakness, because God will still work through us if we are willing to let Him.

Our response

How are we to respond when Christian friends seek their own glory at the expense of their health? Paul advises us that “We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves.” (Romans 15:1) Instead of responding in judgment, we should respond by compassionately attempting to guide our friends back to a healthy conception of themselves, and remind them of how God sees them.

The secular concept of “winning is everything” shouldn’t be allowed to infiltrate our thinking. Winning is not, as popular wisdom might suggest, everything. Remember the Vince Lombardi quote from the beginning of the article? “If winning isn’t everything, why do they keep score?” Shortly before he died, Lombardi recanted, saying “I wish I’d never said it. I meant the effort. I sure didn’t mean for people to crush human values and morality.”³

Worshiping God in spirit and truth, trusting in Him with our very lives, and seeking to honor Him for who He is and what He has done, is everything in life, not winning. And everything else we should leave up to Him. You may never become a baseball player with a multi-million dollar salary. But instead you will receive a much higher reward: Hearing your God say “Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!” (Matthew 25:21)

Daily Devotional: Identity in Christ
10 Ways to be an active parent

¹Ronald Blum, “A-Rod admits using performance-enhancing drugs,” Associated Press, n.p. Cited 16 February 2009. Online: http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5ga08p3lsWdla0TRU6ElMmpEEN3LgD968K6RG1
²National Institute on Drug Abuse, “NIDA InfoFacts: Steroids (Anabolic-Androgenic)” n.p. Cited 16 February 2009. Online: http://www.nida.nih.gov/Infofacts/steroids.html
³John Churdar, “The Need for Good Sportsmanship,” BJU Press, n.p. Cited 19 February 2009. Online: http://www.bjupress.com/resources/articles/balance/need-for-good-sportsmanship.php

A faith worth more than gold

One thought kept him calm. A few days earlier, God had spoken to him through the words of the apostle Peter: “In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.” (1 Peter 1:6-7; NIV)

Could faith have a greater worth than gold?

God had spoken straight to his athlete’s heart. “When I felt pressure to achieve, God impressed upon me that the faith I had was of much more worth than gold, and that it would result in acceptance when Jesus Christ is revealed,” said Jonathan. “God reminded me that my relationship through Christ was more important than any human accomplishment.”

The only guarantee

He took home a bronze medal that year, but his faith had been tested and it shone as gold. Jonathan knew that his significance as a person did not depend on his performance, but on a dynamic, intimate relationship with the living God. Jonathan went on to win a gold medal at the 2000 Olympics and he gave God all the glory for this. “One of the lessons I have learned is that from a human perspective, in terms of achievement, there are no guarantees,” said Jonathan. “I had no guarantee that I would win the Olympics. There is only one thing you can be sure of and that is God. To put your trust in anything else is foolhardy. A relationship with God through Jesus Christ is the only guarantee.”

Take a look at your life. How would you describe it? Contented? Rushed? Exciting? Stressful? Moving forward? Holding back? For many of us it’s all of the above at times. There are things we dream of doing one day, there are things we wish we could forget. In the Bible, it says that Jesus came to make all things new. What would your life look like if you could start over with a clean slate?

Living with hope If you are looking for peace, there is a way to balance your life. No one can be perfect, or have a perfect life. But every one of us has the opportunity to experience perfect grace through a personal relationship with God through His Son, Jesus Christ. You can receive Christ right now by faith through prayer. Praying is simply talking to God. God knows your heart and is not so concerned with your words as He is with the attitude of your heart. Here’s a suggested prayer:

Lord Jesus, I want to know you personally. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life to you and ask you to come in as my Savior and Lord. Take control of my life. Thank you for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Make me the kind of person you want me to be.

Does this prayer express the desire of your heart? You can pray it right now, and Jesus Christ will come into your life, just as He promised.

Is this the life for you?

If you invited Christ into your life, thank God often that He is in your life, that He will never leave you and that you have eternal life. As you learn more about your relationship with God, and how much He loves you, you’ll experience life to the fullest.

Story written by Kevin Miller, story told by Eddie Kennison, #87-Wide Receiver, Kansas City Chiefs

My wife was rushed to the hospital on a Thursday night. She had started experiencing some strange symptoms the previous evening. Now she was unconscious. Things were getting serious fast.

One day passed, and then another. The doctors ran all sorts of tests, but they couldn’t figure out what was wrong. We began to worry. She was pregnant with our second child. How would this illness affect the baby?

In the midst of this crisis, I was trying to prepare for a Sunday game. On Saturday night though, my wife was still in the hospital, and my son didn’t want me to leave. I didn’t know what to do. Should I play or not?

I knew this was an important moment, a life-defining decision. What would I choose: my family or football? It wasn’t easy, but deep inside; I heard a clear voice telling me exactly what to do.

The media really beat me up for missing that game. They thought I had quit on my teammates. It hurt me to hear that, because I knew I hadn’t quit. But the most important thing was, I hadn’t quit on my family.

Eventually, my wife was diagnosed with Lupus, a chronic, debilitating disease. Dealing with it has been a struggle. But as long as we keep focused on God and each other, I know we can make it.

Do you want to know God like Eddie does?  You can join God’s team today by praying the following prayer:

Lord Jesus, I want to know You personally. Thank You for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life and receive You as my Savior and Lord. Thank You for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Take control of my life. Make me be the person You want me to be. Amen.