Big Event Etiquette
At some point in our lives each of us is bound to attend a big event, be it a wedding, graduation or award ceremony. Have you ever been to a banquet where someone interrupted the ceremony by arriving late? Or were you conversing with someone for ten minutes all the while trying to figure out who they were. Perhaps you’ve received a gift that you were so disappointed with, you didn’t know how to react.
We could all use some advice on proper manners and formalities at these occasions. Etiquette Consultant Ann Humphries tells us about some common mistakes that people make at big events.
Some common mistakes:
- Not responding to an invitation even if it doesn’t say RSVP
It’s kind to let people know that you received the invitation and whether or not you can come. If the hosts are using a caterer, they are counting by the head, which is expensive. So be really attentive to let them know whether you’re coming or not while thanking them for the invitation. Remember, people can’t plan on a response like, “We’ll try to come”.
- Not arriving on time
You know how terrible it can be when people come in during the ceremony and stand up in the middle of the aisle looking for a place to sit. It shows inconsideration for the honoree and other guests.
- Talking in a full voice
Again, this shows inconsideration. It’s one thing to whisper, “Pass the program” and another to hold a full voice conversation during the program. It becomes very distracting and bothersome for others.
- Not anticipating whom you’ll meet
You can prime the conversation pump by going over whom you’re likely to see at the event. Inform the family on the way there about names, relationships and other important information such as, “She’s married to so and so”, “His grandfather passed away last month”, and so on. This helps the family or guests to walk across that threshold into a room of friends or familiar people rather than into a group of strangers (and getting caught at thinking “Who are you??”).
- Only talking to the people you know
Make it a point to meet two or three new people; act like a host. Perhaps you’ve been to an event where you’re new, don’t know anybody and nobody talks to you. As adults it’s incumbent on us to make the effort to make friends, but it’s so much nicer when the people who are around bring you in.
Gift-giving & receiving
- Ready or not
Don’t feel that because you receive a gift you should give one immediately. There may be another occasion where you can give a gift. It may look like “Oh, you’ve given me a gift so I have to give you one”. Nobody expects that. On the other hand, around the holidays, it’s always good to have a generic gift you can pull out. Have a draw full of gifts that you buy on sale and are ready to go.
- Receiving
Open the gift you’ve received in private. Most people tend to find it awkward having the gift they’ve given opened in front of them.
- Wrapping
It’s always good to be careful about wrapping as it shows consideration, thoughtfulness and effort, especially for a big event.
- Thank you notes
Always remember to thank the giver of the gift for their thoughtfulness and effort, regardless of what you may think of it. And do it quickly! Get your supplies in order and make a list of what you got and who gave it to you. Have it ready along with envelopes, stamps and return addresses (labels). Start out the note by saying something about them such as, “You were so kind/thoughtful to…” and something specific about the gift. It’s almost like a Thank You note doesn’t say “thank you” because it’s assumed.
Eating at banquets
- Hold utensils like pencils (unless you’re eating continental style).
- If the salad has big leaves use a knife to cut it.
- Break one or two pieces of bread and butter them at a time. Don’t saw it in half like a hamburger bun.
- Blot your lips with a napkin.
- Don’t wave your fork and knife around when talking to people
- When introducing yourself don’t shout over the centerpiece
Etiquette is based on ethics. Showing appreciation, being warm to people and welcoming them is a big deal at these events. It’s important to honor them while being authentic. Don’t try too hard and make it more difficult than it needs to be – enjoy yourself!
