Take The Stress Out Of Company Parties
The holiday season brings with it many sources of stress: the jockeying for position in the toy aisles, the preparation for visits from distant relatives and the long hours trying to complete work projects just so you can take two days off in December.
And here comes more stress: the company-sponsored holiday party.
“Many organizations see these functions as their signature events of appreciation for the year,” says Ann C. Humphries, president of ETICON Inc., Etiquette Consultants for Business. “So their expectations are high for their employees to make a command performance, to mingle effortlessly and look like they are having a good time themselves. No wonder, then, that many employees view these events with anxiety, annoyance and even fear.”
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Humphries suggests a few tips to help professionals who have received that invitation, easily applied to everything from the year-end banquet for employees to a reception with clients:
1. By all means, RSVP. People notice. Let hosts know if you’re coming or not, and thank them for their invitation, whether you attend or not.
2. Prepare for the event - and help your guest prepare. Anticipate who will be there. If you are taking a spouse or other guest, rehearse him/her on the people they will likely meet and what to mention in conversation. Prepare your clothing also, so it’s appropriate for the occasion. In a casual world, people need practice dressing up for the holidays. “Black tie” or “black tie optional” may be foreign phrases to many people. If you don’t know the appropriate attire, ask the host. No matter what you wear, people will be gracious, but if you show up wearing a tweed jacket to a “black tie optional” event, you’ll broadcast that you possess limited social skills and strategic-thinking abilities.
3. Observe the “30-30-30″ rule. If you have several places to go, arrive at least 30 minutes before the end of the event. Stay at least 30 minutes, and leave within 30 minutes of the ending time.
4. Make it a point to relax. There’s no reason to approach the art of mingling with the jaw-clenching fear you faced when taking your economics mid-term 15 years ago. Present a calm and friendly demeanor, and you will feel calmer and friendlier. Think of the room as filled with potential friends. Strike up complimentary conversation about the event and the people attending. Introduce yourself and the people you know, and in an interesting manner. For example, “Marge raises ostriches, and Russ just returned from Australia.” Lastly, be sure to speak to your CEO or other VIPs, even if it’s only for a moment.
5. Remember, the f-o-r-k and f-o-o-d go on the l-e-f-t, and the k-n-i-f-e and g-l-a-s-s are on the r-i-g-h-t. Also, football season may put the N-F-L rule uppermost in your mind - meaning napkin and fork on the left. Incidentally, remember that a napkin is not a handkerchief. Refrain from blowing your nose at the table.
6. Control the urge to wish everyone a “Merry Christmas.” Such a well-intentioned greeting may irritate or even anger Muslim, Buddhist and Jewish guests. Best to say, “Have a happy holiday.”
7. Establish a two-drink limit. Sometimes, companies will give their employees one or two free drink tickets to use at the reception. It’s generally good advice to take that as a cue to have no more than that number of drinks. Limiting your alcohol consumption may also limit the temptation to talk less freely about matters that you may regret later. And, try to make sure the roving photographer doesn’t feature you hoisting (or even holding) a drink in any photos he/she takes. What seems to you as a happy-go-lucky pose that evening probably won’t when you see the company newsletter in January.
8. Don’t go crazy on the dance floor - but do dance. Everyone admires a good dancer, but most people enjoy watching anyone dance. So dance, making sure to switch partners occasionally. Just make sure you don’t make some moves you might regret the next day.
9. Show appreciation, not only to your host but to his/her staff members who put the party together. Make sure to thank your host for inviting you and compliment him/her on specific features of the party. Also, though, make sure to compliment the person, usually on the boss’ staff, who put the event together. Besides being the decent thing to do, it will also be a kind gesture this person will not forget. The next day, jot a quick thank-you note to your boss.
“As with so many other things in life, the way we approach holiday parties largely determines the outcome. If you expect to have fun, chances are that you will,” says Humphries.
