Intimacy, Sex & Scandals

Written by Karen Schenk

tigerwords2The headlines proclaimed the potential fall of another celebrity. The scandal began with a car crash in the middle of the night.  Shortly after, photos of a mistress surfaced and we all heard a voicemail recording threaten to tear another family apart. Tiger Woods, who has spent his career sporting a squeaky clean image now is cloaked with scandal.

These headlines came on the heels of Jon & Kate Gosselin’s very public breakup. They had a TV show (“Jon & Kate Plus 8”) and quite a following. People loved having an inside view of a young couple who became successful in overcoming difficult circumstances and making the most of their lives. The renewal of their vows was a climatic moment for this beautiful family.

Then came a photo of Jon with a young woman who wasn’t Kate. Before we knew it, the relationship completely unraveled and all that was left were broken pieces. Now the TV show has sadly become simply “Kate Plus 8”.

In the same way we look at a bad car crash, all the while willing our eyes to turn away, we watched these relationships fall apart. We fed the scandal that put money into someone’s pockets.  Scandal sells!

We all crave love, sex and romance. We see movie stars and politicians fall in love, and believe that beautiful relationships like theirs lie on the horizon for us as well. We crave intimacy and desperately desire meaningful relationships. So, why then are we attracted to scandal? If we are really honest, we love a scandal because it proves that celebrities are no better at getting what we want – intimacy – than the rest of us.

Affair-proof your marriage

This craving for love and intimacy begins in us when we are just young children. When my daughter was young, I read her fairy tales.  Her favorite part was always when the prince and princess fell in love. She believed someday a prince would come into her life. For many of us, even as adults, we still believe as she did.

What we are often unaware of is that we are created for intimacy. We are deeply relational and desire to be loved and accepted. This love that we try to find and then attain throughout our lives, is actually impossible in and of ourselves. People will always let us down. Even those who love us most will not be able to live up to our expectations.

We crave to be filled with the sense of satisfaction and confidence, which often results when we are in intimate relationships. Some strive to fill that with sex and love and are often left feeling empty and broken. It’s possible we are looking in the wrong place to fill that void. Our deepest craving for intimacy  is actually spiritual. As we discover a deep and meaningful relationship with God, our core craving becomes satisfied giving us a foundation to work through the sometimes-rocky relationships we find ourselves in. If you find yourself in a painful place in your relationship and need someone to talk to, we are here and would love to talk to you.

*Image by Keith Allison used under Creative Commons license

19 Responses to “Intimacy, Sex & Scandals”

  • Itopraise says:

    I think relationship is rather best with God.

  • warren says:

    i think some of you guys need to take anger management classes

  • stacieking1 says:

    He just got caught up!! Surely, hopefully it is something he will truly regret for the rest of his life..But he is a little narcasistic and if he really cared he would be with her right now!!!

  • paul says:

    i know having sex before marriage is wrong. but can i love a girl? do god accept it?

  • Karen says:

    When people like Tiger make very public mistakes, it can be so easy to be judgemental. It’s humbling when we realize that we are only one choice away from disaster ourselves. On any given day we can make a decision that could destroy our lives. As we are truly aware of that, it really stops us from being judgemental.

  • Pearl says:

    I do know that many “Christians” have failed in there walk with Christ and it is a pity that people judge Christianity by the fallen. We should be praying for men everywhere as the Word asks us to. Jesus also forgave and still does when we ask for forgiveness.
    As a christian I have been praying for Tiger and his family that this situation will lead him to a personal relationship with Jesus .
    God will turn this around for good when Tige rputs his trust in Him. He never claimes to be a Christian and I do beleive with his celebrity status women just flock to him. Of course that is no excuce but living this life is hard with Christ let alone without Christ.
    God says to put Him first I wonder how many of us really put Him first in evertning we do.
    I think the Christian world shold be praying for him and his family instead of passing judgement.
    I believe that is what Christ wants us to do.

  • GM says:

    There is life after death. When people we respect,
    and look up to, fall, we see they are human, with
    weaknesses, capable of making mistakes. We should never put anyone on a pedastel,that place
    is for God and Him alone.I believe this is a huge lesson for us. Tiger needs help like so many men and women in our Nation. There are many voices trying to lead us away from Gods plan for our lives.
    In these times we must know and recognise God’s
    Spirit speaking to us.
    For all those who have been hurt by the church or the body of Christ, I extend my hand of apology to each of you and ask for forgiveness. I acknowledge the pain and rejection we have caused you. This is no small thing. We are sorry.
    Christ came to reconcile us back to the Father by forgiving all our sins. In this beautiful season as we celebrate the birth of our Savior, let us truly foregive one another from the heart. Let him be Glorified this Christmas in our families and homes as we turn our eyes to Jesus instead of man.
    Let us be the ones now to Stand on Guard for Marriages around the World. Yes, I believe if
    Gods people pray, and seek His Face,
    He will heal our Land.
    I pray for the Spirit of God to minister
    His healing love to your hearts and every family member.
    Our lives are an unfolding of a profound plan.
    Take time to listen to His Voice this day.

  • RJ, even though I don’t know you, I feel like I should apologize to you … on behalf of the Christians you’ve known who’ve let you down in the past. I’m sorry for their behavior, and my own, which I know hasn’t always reflected the example we were given to follow in Jesus. It’s sad to consider how a people who aspire to such lofty ideals can fail so utterly, isn’t it?

    But on the other hand, it’s not too surprising. People in church and outside of church face the same ailment: sin infects us all. Someone wise once told me that if I ever found a perfect church, I shouldn’t join it, because I would ruin it. And they were right. Unfortunately there is no perfect church, because there are no perfect people.

    RJ, it sounds like you’ve had some bad experiences in the church yourself. I hope that these bad experiences, as terrible and tragic as they were, won’t sour your view of the Christian faith. The true example of Christian faith is Jesus. He is the model, we are merely the imperfect clay, being slowly molded more closely into his image.

    If you (or anyone reading this) would like to know more about Him, please check out this link: Jesus Christ: Who is he really?

    Or if you or anyone else reading would prefer to talk to someone privately & confidentially (some past issues, involving church or not, can be hard to talk about in “public” on a blog) they can contact someone here: Talk to someone by email

  • RJ says:

    Ask all the Church females! They would F*** Tiger Woods if they got a chance to!!! They just won’t tell you. LOL… When you go to church ask a females… they’re probably BS you… f***in Church….

  • RJ says:

    Tyra Banks is a slut too. She sleep with Michael Jordan. People are just ignorant!!!!!!! Stupid Unaware!!!! I’ve been to church and this stuff happens in church. Trust me. If you talk to someone you think of them one way… but you don’t know who they really are. Look at the priest who had sex with a women and now the kid is 18 years old. It was kept as secret until the kid got sick. It was on CNN. F***! Church!!!!! It’s a Bunch of S***!!!!! i was a worship leadership and the most devoted Christian in this f***in!!!! World!!!! it F***ED me UP BAD!!!!

  • RJ says:

    This happens all the time!!! There are a lot of women who have affairs all the time. Why did only the one that came out were only the non married ones???


  • Francois says:

    Here is an example of a person who, by all the standards our North American society uses, had it all…and it wasn’t enough.

    Our world is full of people looking for satisfaction, and often looking for it in the wrong places.

    When we strive to find satisfaction on a daily basis through a real and intimate relationship with Jesus Christ, the shortcomings of our lives fade, and we find Someone who loves us just the way we are.

    With this foundational relationship, we can then face the challenges and the joys of life knowing that God unconditionally loves us and wants us to grow and mature into the person He has designed us to become.

  • Deebee says:

    I would agree with you Carla! It is possible to fall in love for a lifetime with one person. But it does take hard work.

    What I meant was that the deep craving for intimacy cannot be met by other things or people because we are all human and will let others down. Only God can meet our craving for intimacy. The French philosopher Pascal once said that ‘there lies within each of us a God-shaped vacuum that can only be filled by the Creator Himself’. I think that sort of sums it up very well.

  • RQ says:

    It doesn’t matter who you are – it does matter who we are in God. Thier is the world and thier is real purpose in life as defined by our Creator.
    We all make choice either good or evil?

    I would not call it Love as much as it is sexual
    addiction that tempts man. Man has always struggled with temptation and will continue but its’ the man (&women) that needs to take thier desires to God before acting on them.

    Too bad Mr. Woods took so much time & money and spent it on the wrong motives not to mention the the hurt and pain in the marriage.

    Keep all men and women who sturggle with sexual addiction in prayer.

  • Carla says:

    Re the above article, – I don’t agree – lots of people can and do find true love. Not every person will let you down. Yes, lots of people will, including friends and family, but not all people, not all friends and not all family.

    Lots of people meet the right companion for them. And alot of people have God in their lives, and also a parter they are fully happy with.

    Tiger may have been a greedy guy. Maybe he wanted something extra.

    Maybe he married someone he didn’t really love for publicity purposes etc.

    I know people who are truelly in love.

    So I think it’s wrong to look at someone, or some people, and paint a picture that no person can find someone they truelly love, just because some TV celeb and a sports person played offside. That is them. There are lots like them. But also lots that are not.

  • Kat says:

    Everyone is human, just as Jesus was! We all make mistakes and God forgives, just as we have to forgive others.

    Love is not perfect neither is marriage. Whether you are famous or not you are human and strive to be the best that you can be, whether it is with work, family, friends or your loved one.

    How sad that people crave others indiscretions to see whether or not their own life is better or worse than someone elses and that is not what God teaches us.

    When you are in the right relationship your communication is open and you are filled with respect and love for each other. Problems occur and you work on them daily.
    Look within yourself before blaming someone else and those cravings will be satisfied.

    God teaches us to love ourselves and others. God teaches us to help others and that gives us a great level of satisfaction and achievement in our lives. God teaches us to be the best that we can be and in doing that we find our friends and our loved ones and a partner that looks for the same things in life that we do.

    Your relationship is then complete! You are strong and confident because of your OWN accomplishments, your relationship with the sex, intimacy, and love – fills a void like no other and works because you work on it daily. Connection and communication with your partner, family, church and community thrive because you put strength and energy into it and you don’t forget to say your sorry when you’re wrong!!!!

    Choose God as your guide, accept prayer into your family along with respect and kindness. Be open to making mistakes and working really hard to make things better and correct whatever happened that steered you away from the values you have been taught to try to live a ‘God like’ lifestyle.

    It’s not hard, YES, THAT CRAVING CAN BE MET and it’s rewarding. Open up your hearts and forgive where it is needed. Enjoy your family and give yourself a break so that you can love the man or woman you fell in love with!

  • Deebee says:

    It is so sad that the man who has everything still gave in to those cravings for love. You are so right however, we all have those cravings for intimacy that things cannot meet.

  • Ann says:

    Do people really think that they can keep these “indiscretions” private? It’s quite ridiculous to see that men like Tiger Woods and Jon Gosselin actually think that they can mess around and not destroy their image and families.

  • I was just on Tiger Woods’ website and noticed that over 14,000 people have commented on Tiger’s official comment on this story so far … wow. People are really opinionated about this!

    All of the attention and outrage about this (warranted or not) at least shows that the “cravings” for love, and faithfulness in relationships, are still relevant in today’s society and worth talking about …

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